My Enchanting Hoyden (A Once Upon A Rogue Novel, #3) (6 page)

“Philip?” His mother’s voice hitched, and lines of worry etched additional creases into her face.

“There is no need for you to be worried,” he assured her, which was perfectly true. He’d do all the worrying for both of them.

“Oh, thank goodness!” she cried as a genuine smile lit her face. “For a moment, my stomach became all knotted. You had such a look on your face, as if we were on the verge of starving again.”

Philip tugged on his cravat, which felt rather like a noose that was tightening. How close to the truth his mother was. He had precisely two months of funds left to feed them—possibly three if he was very careful.

She patted her hair, and he noted the dismal state of her gown once again. God, he felt like a failure even asking her if she could forego new gowns again this Season, but he hated to create more debt he couldn’t pay. He was already supposed to pay Aversley back tomorrow for the previous loan, and he could not even do that. Humiliation branded him
.
“Mother, about this Season—”

“Yes! I’ve been meaning to talk to you!” She picked up the magazine she had been holding and opened it. “I offered to sponsor your cousin Eustice, so she might finally have a Season.”

Philip nearly groaned. “Have Eustice’s looks improved through the years?”

His mother scowled at him, then sighed. “Not much.”

This time he did groan.

“We must be kind, darling,” his mother chided.

He could not afford kindness, but he forced another nod, which won a smile of approval from his mother. “I said we could purchase her a few new gowns and I would accompany her to the balls, which means I likely need at least two new gowns myself.”

Philip began to sweat in his coat. He yanked it off and flung it on the desk, all while his mother watched him with a raised eyebrow. So much for not creating debt he could not pay back. Thank God he still had good credit with all the shops. Mother and Eustice would have to get the gowns thusly. And he’d have to—

“Philip, are you sure you are all right? You look feverish. Your cheeks are red.”

“Too much sun in the park today.” A complete truth. He’d stayed an hour after the race, staring at the Serpentine and trying to figure out what it was about Miss Adair that had made him agree to the wager when he knew he should not have.

“You should go to the park when the sun is not so strong,” his mother said.

He nodded absently.

Mother shifted in her seat and let out a long sigh. “I thank God every day I have you.
You
didn’t let me suffer the disgrace your aunt Lydia had to suffer when your uncle Richard died and poor Lydia could not pay all the debt. Once you knew our troubles, you took charge!” Mother pressed her hands to her cheeks and shook her head. “Lydia is too prideful. She took work as a
seamstress
and refused to let us help her. And look at her now. Shunned by the
ton
and she still cannot afford a Season for poor Eustice, who is already two and twenty. ”

The
ton
and how they would shun Mother if he, as an earl, took an honest job was precisely why finding employment was not a solution to his financial woes. She’d never survive being ostracized from Society. If he’d only had himself to consider, he’d find work in a second.

“You would never let me down that way.” She shook her head. “The shame of everyone knowing you cannot pay your obligations is bad enough, but to have all your belongings taken from you?” She paused and took a deep breath. “Philip, I don’t mind telling you that after your father died, I lay awake fearing that would happen to us. I thought I could face it if it did, but then seeing how the
ton
has treated poor Lydia and your cousin, I’m not sure I’m strong enough to bear it.”

He felt a grimace pull at his lips, and he steepled his hands in front of his face to hide his expression.

His mother frowned. “Your brow has creased, dear. Are you composing another poem in your head, or are you upset with me for agreeing to sponsor Eustice without asking you? If it’s too much expense, I’ll forego gowns for myself again. I don’t mind, truly.”

A twitch started on the right side of his temple. Providing money for gowns for two women was too expensive, to be sure. Damnation! Even providing new gowns for
one
of them required money he didn’t have, but he’d barter his soul to the devil before giving his mother a reason that might drive her back to laudanum.

Philip’s pulse ticked up a beat.

“Philip, honestly,” his mother chided gently, “you’re not acting yourself at all.”

“I’m not feeling myself.” He was feeling rather trapped by life, his station, his obligations. Writing poetry had always provided an outlet to escape these feelings, but the poetry was not coming to mind anymore. His worry had ripped the creativity from his mind.

“It’s the heat,” she declared and fanned herself.

He cleared his throat and forced out the words that would heap yet more debt on his head. “Of course we’ll help Eustice.”

“Wonderful! But there’s one more thing...”

Mother shot him an apologetic look that made his gut spasm. Of course, there was one more thing.

“She’ll be living with us until she secures an offer of marriage.” Mother stood and smoothed out the folds of her gown. “But of course, I’m sure you assumed that since she does not live in London and we are sponsoring her.”

He’d assumed nothing because he was too busy worrying about their finances.
Enough of that.
Wallowing in misery would not help matters. He had to come up with the money somehow. He’d not let his mother down as his father had done.

She came around the desk and kissed his cheek. “I’m glad we had this talk. I’m off to the dress shop.”

“Have fun,” he managed to choke out as he watched her disappear. He stared at his desk for a moment, his thoughts turning. He picked up his quill pen, dipped it, and sat there. What options did he have to set his debts to rights and get the lands back into shape so they would once again earn money?

He wrote the number one and then sat, listening to the incessant tick of the longcase clock while grinding his teeth. He could think of nothing except one thing. With a loud groan, he wrote,
Find a lady with a large dowry to marry.

The notion made him shudder. He threw the pen down and stared at his only option. He’d always hoped he’d marry for love as his mother and father had done. He’d grown up seeing how happy they were compared to his friends’ parents who had married for convenience, and he knew he wanted love above all else. Even when Mary had broken their engagement because she’d found a lord with more money and a loftier title, he’d not become jaded against love. Well, he had, but he’d pulled himself out of it. After getting completely foxed, of course.

He’d not thought all women insipid creatures who cared for nothing beyond a rich husband with a grand title, and he’d presumed one day he would meet the woman he was meant to be with, a woman who would appreciate who he was, poetry and all. Hellfire.

He balled his hand into a fist and slammed it against his desk, making the inkpot rattle. The only way he could save himself, Mother, and Cousin Eustice from financial ruin without making them suffer social leprosy was to sacrifice himself on the altar of matrimony. There was no choice. Borrowing more money was out of the question if he wanted to keep a sliver of pride and be able to live with himself.

He stood, feeling as though he was going to go mad, and started pacing the room. Perhaps he’d find a lady he actually loved who also had a title. It was improbable but not impossible. He gathered his coat and put it on. He needed to speak to Aversley and admit he could not yet pay his brother-in-law back. The man might even have some notion of who the wealthy debutantes were this Season. Just the thought made Philip’s stomach turn. He started out the door and paused, remembering he still needed to write to Miss Adair.

He quickly penned the note and fished ten pounds out of his desk drawer, money that he had no business giving to the lovely, yet sharp-tongued Miss Adair, and made haste to Aversley and Amelia’s home. He could give the money and letter to his sister to hand over to Miss Adair while he was there, and afterward he’d break the news to Aversley.

J
emma breezed through the elaborately carved wooden door that led from the street of Mayfair into her grandfather’s London townhome. She’d purposely gone to Sophia’s after the race, hoping that perhaps gossip would spread like lightening and reach her grandfather before she returned home. If she was very lucky, he’d have already heard the story, come to the conclusion that she was in no way fit to debut, and be waiting to tell her as much. She got five steps into the main foyer when Mr. Sims, her grandfather’s butler, entered the room from the direction of Grandfather’s study.

Mr. Sims eyed her with disapproval, as he’d done since the day he’d overheard her tell Anne she wasn’t sure which she despised more, England’s rainy weather or Grandfather’s constant control over everything they did. Their every day was controlled by the schedule he dictated, from the moment they woke up and had to practice waltzing and curtsying with a book on their heads with Mrs. Young, until the end of the night when they were required to practice the pianoforte and embroidery. She could not wait to be out from under his command. She wasn’t sorry the butler knew it, nor did she care much that he disapproved of her.

Jemma stopped on her way to the staircase as Mr. Sims cleared his throat. Anne collided with Jemma from behind, and Jemma turned to her sister and raised a questioning eyebrow. Honestly, Anne seemed awfully preoccupied lately. Jemma needed to find out what secret Anne was hiding.

“Did you need me, Mr. Sims?” Jemma asked.

“His Grace wishes to speak with you and your sister in his study.”

This was it! Jemma couldn’t help but grin. “Of course,” she said sweetly. “We’ll go straight there.”

Mr. Sims cracked a rare smile. “He’s most displeased.”

“Excellent!” she cooed, giggling when Mr. Sims frowned. As she sashayed past him, her stomach did a little flip. She hoped she hadn’t gone too far.

Anne caught Jemma at the elbow. “I hope you haven’t carried things too far!” she whispered.

Jemma gave a start. For all the times Anne made her think they shared very little in common for twins, whenever her sister voiced a thought Jemma had just had, it reminded her of their special connection. Jemma bit her lip. “Hopefully, it was just far enough to cancel my debut but not get me disowned.”

Anne’s eyes widened with obvious worry.

Jemma patted her hand as they neared the open door to Grandfather’s study. “Don’t worry so. It will be fine.”

Before she could say anything else, Mrs. Young appeared in the doorway. She nodded to Anne and then fastened her faded-blue gaze on Jemma. “Here is a bit of advice before I depart.”

“Depart? Where are you going?” Her heart skipped a beat. This could be good or bad. Maybe Grandfather had dismissed Mrs. Young because he’d decided he needed to hire a new tutor. Or could it mean Mrs. Young was leaving because Grandfather thought Jemma ready to debut? She gulped.

Mrs. Young’s lips puckered before her mouth pulled into a victorious smile. “If you are going to deceive someone, my dear, you need to remember to keep the deception up at all times. And that just might be the most important rule of being a member of the
ton
you will ever need to know.”

“I’m sure I don’t know what you mean.”

A derisive sound came from the woman’s throat. “I’m sure you do. Do you know what I saw from the library window yesterday when you were in the garden with the servant children?”

It took all Jemma’s concentration not to cry out in dismay. Her tutor must have seen her showing one of the servants’ daughters how to properly curtsy. They’d asked her to teach them, and she’d obliged, thinking she was alone.

“I haven’t the faintest notion,” she fibbed.

The woman snorted. “Your voice just faltered. Try holding your breath before you tell a lie. These are the things all proper English ladies know. But you are American, after all.”

“Jemma and Anne!” Grandfather’s voice boomed from his study. Jemma jerked where she stood, then cursed under her breath that the old goat ruffled her so.

Mrs. Young departed with a snicker, and Jemma pushed her shoulders back, tilted her chin up, and took Anne’s hand. “All will be well.”

Anne nodded, even as she sucked in her lower lip.

As they strolled into the study, Jemma’s gaze went to Grandfather’s desk but found the chair he usually sat in was empty. She located him in a small, blue velvet chair with delicately carved arms. She knew it had been her grandmother’s chair. She furrowed her brow. With his long legs and solid build, he looked positively stuffed into the tiny chair. Whyever would he sit there when he had so many more comfortable, more spacious options? Could it be that he actually missed her grandmother? She shook her head. No, the man was too cold to miss anyone.

Without looking up from what he was reading, he said, “Sit,” as if commanding two dogs, and flourished a hand toward the settee opposite him.