My Forbidden Mentor (14 page)

“You need to be strong today. Come on,” he said, placing the fork near her mouth. She opened her mouth and took the food. He continued to feed her, although all she ate was the crepe. When he was satisfied at how much she’d eaten he tried his best to convince her to sleep more, but he didn’t push today and she got her way. He left the room so she could dress, then came back to carry her down the stairs, telling her he’d be outside tending the horses.

She followed him to involve herself with the horses as it helped take her mind off her father. When the undesired time arrived they stood under an apple tree on their property where her mother was already buried. Her father was to be buried next to her mother. Melissa looked around at so many familiar faces and was thankful for their caring presence. John stood by her side the whole time, holding her hand as she had requested. Her focus swung to her auntie, who held onto her opposite hand, her sweet auntie who was about the only family she had left.

After the funeral services John remained behind. Sitting on the porch swing, they had trailed off talking about her father. Melissa admired her mentor’s profile while asking him about his mother. “John, how did your mother pass on?”

He was quiet for a long time, staring ahead at nothing, his expression becoming sullen. “I can’t talk about it right now,” he told her.

“I was just wondering,” she persisted, but was cut off.

“Anything but my mother Melissa,” he requested.

A longer period of time passed before they spoke again. Melissa wasn’t sure how to end her curiosity. “She was obviously special to you. I presume her to be a fascinating woman.”

Shifting his focus her way, his voice released unwanted anger. “She was very special to me, and I don’t care to talk about her right now!” He didn’t want to be angry with her, especially today, but he couldn’t talk about his mother. It was too painful and the memories were too fresh from today’s event. Standing, hoping to escape her questions about his mother, he trailed away from the swing to lean against a thick post on the wooden porch. His arms crossed over his broad chest and he stared out among the lush green landscape of hills.

Feeling bad that she had upset him, an equal part of her grew angry that he didn’t share his experience with her. She went ahead and apologized but had decided they needed a break from each other. “I’m sorry if I’ve upset you. I won’t ask about her again.” At least for a while, she thought. Coming to care too much about this remarkable man, she wanted to know everything about him.

“Thank you,” he said, hoping he didn’t bruise her feelings too much, but he had never talked about his mother and he wanted it to stay that way. That was a profound wound he didn’t want to open up again.

Feeling put off by his sudden mood change, she needed time to think. As she glared into his back she said, “John, I appreciate everything you’ve done for me these last couple of days but I’d like to be alone now. Auntie is here so there’s no need to worry about me.”

His head turned in her direction. His features were distant and he was not surprised by her request. “How much time do you need?” he asked, growing accustomed to seeing her often and not wanting it to change.

“I’m not sure,” she told him, not knowing how much time she needed alone.

His arms unfolded and, taking two strides in her direction, he kneeled before her. His fingertips lifted her chin and his lips grazed over hers. His kiss increased in intensity, exploring her mouth as if to memorize every detail, but he could feel the tension in her kiss. When his lips left hers, his eyes opened, reflecting sadness that tore at her heart.

“I understand,” he responded, and then rose to walk over to the barn to get his mare.

What am I to do about him? Melissa wondered as her eyes followed his spectacular physique. I’m so confused. Why am I letting myself have feelings for this precarious man? She started to shake, a delayed reaction to his thorough kiss.

He was already atop Clara when he stopped in front of her. “I’m only waiting a week. After that I want to see you,” he plainly stated, and with that he heeled Clara and headed for the trees, leaving her no time to respond.

She couldn’t believe the audacity of him to order her around like he owned her. She needed to think, darn him. She needed time alone with Robert to find out the truth. John had done so much for her and she hated treating him so brutally, but he made it easier when he refused to tell her about his mother. She had thought they were close enough to at least confide in the death of their parents. She hadn’t realized until the moment of his outburst how close he had been to his mother and how painful her death must have been for him. She longed to relieve some of his burden as he had done for her in regards to her father.

Nevertheless, she took this time alone to devise a plan to meet with Robert.

Without John around to carry her up and down the stairway Melissa maintained her sleeping arrangement on the couch. Tossing and turning on the narrow cushions of the couch, her mind was scrambling with ways to contact Robert so she could discover the truth about the day of the accident. Unfortunately she hadn’t a clue as to Robert’s schedule, and she didn’t dare ask John.

Her thoughts wandered to her father, her caring father who’d left this world too soon. Tears and reminiscent memories flowed through her once again. Wrapping her arms around herself, images of John came to mind. She missed him. Clutching tighter on the blankets, the warmth of her body couldn’t compare to John’s enveloping embrace the night before. She craved his sympathy and maybe more than that. One night, just one night he stayed with her, and she longed for his comfort. She knew if he’d been there again, wrapped around her, she’d fall asleep without a thought, so she drifted from her thoughts and dreamed, dreamed of a dark and handsome man and his body of warmth. By the early morning hours Melissa conceded to much needed rest as her body eventually gave in to her exhausted mind and weakened leg.

A knock at the front door startled her awake. Drowsy-eyed and wondering why her aunt hadn’t answered the door, she threw the blankets off and hobbled to the door and as she reached for the doorknob she remembered that her aunt had errands in town this morning.

To her relieved surprise it was Robert standing before her, holding a package of some kind and wearing a generous smile on his handsome face as he greeted her with concerned enthusiasm. “Miss Howard, how are you fairing this morning?”

“Better, thank you,” she said, standing in the open doorway when a light breeze blew across her form causing her hands to rub along her naked arms.

“Oh, forgive me, I’ve awakened you,” Robert said as he gave her an apologetic expression.

Waking her wasn’t her concern at the moment since she’d just realized her fingers brushed along naked skin, her own exposed skin, while standing in the doorway of her home before John’s partner and even worse, his best friend.

Robert acted oblivious to knowing where her thoughts had traveled but the sudden change in her sleepy look prompted him to question her. “Are you all right, Miss Howard? You look distraught?”

She replaced the shock on her face with a kind smile. “Melissa, please.” In a flash she turned away from him and crossed her arms over her chest to conceal any exposure of her body through her nightgown. She invited him in while she hobbled back to the couch. “Please, come in,” she told him as she retrieved her wrap from the couch. As she closed the wrap around her body she gestured for Robert to sit down. “Have a seat,” she offered.

“Thank you,” he said, sitting in the wingback chair across from her. His hand loosened its grip on the package he carried, reminding him of its purpose. “By the way, this is for you,” he told her as he handed it over to her. “It’s cakes and muffins and such. My friend Rose made them.” Robert watched her unwrap the folded linen and saw her eyes widen in delight when observing the array of treats.

“They look scrumptious. Please thank her for me,” she told him as she kept her eyes on the single cake she brought to her mouth.

“Rose is quite the baker. I have to limit myself of her treats or I will ruin my perfect physique,” he chuckled. Melissa didn’t respond verbally but nodded with a mouth full of cake.

His laughter declined when he spoke again, “My condolences regarding your father.”

She had just swallowed the last bit of cake as her eyes took in his pleasant features. “Thank you, Robert, if I may call you by your first name?”

“Of course. I see us as friends. You are a part of our team, are you not?”

Licking the remaining crumbs from her lips, she responded, “Well, yes. I mean, I started out that way. I’m not sure now that my leg is ruined.” She looked away from his concentrated stare. She was using her leg as an excuse when she shouldn’t have. By now the doctor had approved of her riding again as long as she kept up the strengthening of her leg. Could the real reason for her statement be because of the intimacy she had engaged in with her mentor? Could she continue to work with him under the circumstances?

Robert appeared baffled. “I thought with exercise your leg would be fine, regarding riding, at least?”

Does he know what happened between John and I, she wondered. “To be honest Robert, it’s confidence that concerns me. My leg may be dead weight. I’m not sure how John feels about that, if he still has confidence in me, that is?”

“Why don’t you ask him?” he suggested.

There was hesitation, then the truth. “Because I’m afraid to hear the answer,” she confided.

“I think you should ask anyway. You can’t deny he cares about your welfare?”

“No, not at all. He’s been here practically every day.” That was until she had asked him to leave because of his reluctance to indulge her about his mother.

“Well then, the next time you see him, ask him. Then your confidence will be restored.”

Melissa’s brow lifted in curiosity. “So then, you’re sure that he hasn’t given up on our arrangement?” she asked.

“Has he given any reason to show different?” Robert countered.

“No. No, he hasn’t,” she rushed out.

“I’m curious about something, Melissa. Forgive me if this isn’t the proper time, but it’s been bothering me since we met in Dublin.” He had attained her full attention. “When I mentioned being at John’s manor the day of your accident, I noticed you tensed immediately. Did my being there have anything to do with your accident?” he questioned.

“Why would you think that?” Melissa asked him as her body tensed.

“I’m not sure, but for you to run off before John arrived, I thought perhaps someone or something had upset you.” Robert looked worried, like he was accusing himself.

“Yes, I was upset. But your being there did not cause my accident Robert.” This was her moment to discover the truth and learn how wrong she’d been. “I have an inquiry of my own. Around noontime on that same day, were you in John’s library?” She saw his brows crease at the question.

His features softened when he recalled that not only had he been in John’s library at the time specified but what he’d been doing in there. A blush of color heated his face. “Yes. Yes I was,” he admitted, leaning forward and without further explanation, snatched a tempting cake.

Melissa hadn’t noticed the cake he took because the truth had been verified. Just to make sure she asked another crucial question. “Robert, did you have a lady friend with you?”

Bloody hell, she must have heard us, he thought. He had sincerely hoped his cheeks weren’t turning red but was doubtful because he could feel his cheeks warming as he answered her, “Yes, it was Rose. How did you know?”

It was Robert and Rose, not John and another conquest. She sighed as she responded, “I was bored waiting for John so I thought I’d look over the collection of books he’d talked about. When I got to the library door I heard voices, a man and a woman’s.”

In abrupt realization it dawned on Robert the scene that must have taken place before Melissa. It would be hard on any woman to hear what Melissa had heard, but knowing Melissa and John’s intimate history he couldn’t blame her for escaping like she had. His hands covered his face, no longer from embarrassment but from the fact that everything had turned upside down. His fingers combed through his thick hair. It all made sense now. “You thought that I was John?”

He’d figured it out on his own. That was good because it would humiliate her to explain every detail. “Yes.”

“And that he was with a woman?”

She delayed in answering, even though the answer became apparent. “Yes,” she acknowledged.

“Well, everything is clear now,” Robert replied in good spirits.

“What do you mean?” Melissa questioned.

“Well John, Charles and I have been beating our heads against the wall trying to figure out why you took off the way you did. It will be a relief for all when I tell them the reason,” he explained.

“Robert, no,” she responded sharply, causing Robert to look alarmed. “Please don’t tell John or Charles for that matter. He may mention it to John,” she pleaded.

“What do you mean, lass? John needs to know. He’s mentioned you’ve been upset with him and he doesn’t know why. I presume it’s because of what you thought to be true. It will relieve him to know the explanation.”

“He cannot,” she begged.

Now he understood her harsh reaction. She was humiliated. “He needs to know something Melissa. You had reason initially to be upset but John is unaware of your reasons,” he attempted to convince her.

“You’re absolutely right, Robert, but I feel ashamed as it is,” she agreed although her eyes remain full of worry.

“You’d go on letting him think otherwise?” Robert asked, trying to see her point of view but knew it was unfair by not explaining to John.

“No. I don’t know,” she said on a defeated breath.

“His reaction may surprise you. You need to tell him,” he ordered as he pointed a finger in her direction. “In fact, you two need to sit down and have a long talk about everything. Clear the air, as they say,” he recommended since he knew both sides of the story.

Melissa grew wary of his solution. “You know more than you’re letting on, don’t you?”

He gave a handsome, devilish grin. “Not every detail, Melissa. But I am John’s best friend.”

He didn’t have to say any more as she guessed the extent of Robert’s knowledge. Robert knowing about the intimacies between she and John didn’t bother her as much as she thought it would. Robert seemed caring and concerned about his two friends. She supposed he was right when he suggested she and John talk. She owed John at least that much, and more, to make up for her unreasonable behavior. She gave Robert a sincere smile. “I think that’s exactly what John and I need to do. The next time I see him we shall talk,” she told him and since John had said he’d see her in a week that gave her enough time to prepare an appropriate apology.

“Good. It eases my mind that you two will work this out,” he told her as he returned her smile.

While Robert rambled on about the progress he’d had with his students and how it hadn’t matched the progress she and John had made, Melissa drifted into ways of telling John about the misunderstanding she’d had, concluding that there wasn’t any way around the truth. He needed to know and a week’s time remained for her to prepare.

The front door burst open and Miss Beckett trailed in with supplies piled high in her arms. Robert rose from the chair to help her.

Melissa hadn’t thought of her auntie’s reaction finding her alone with an unknown man. Her aunt smiled when Robert lightened her load but she remained distressed. “What is it Auntie?”

Miss Beckett set the rest of the items on the hardwood floor. “My aunt has taken ill,” she said in disbelief. “I received a message while in town. I’m afraid I must go to her.”

As if there couldn’t be any more bad news. “Which aunt?” Melissa inquired, knowing what a large family Miss Beckett had.

“Theresa.” She stepped over to Melissa and sat next to her. “Oh love, will you be all right by yourself?”

She covered her aunt’s hand with her own. “Yes, but I’ll go with you if you like?”

Miss Beckett shook her head, squeezing Melissa’s fingers. “No, that’s not necessary, love. You need to get better. I’ve already made arrangements to travel with cousin Harriet.”

“Good. It comforts me to know you’re not going alone. Is there anything I can do?”

“Just get better. I feel guilty leaving you like this . . . so soon after,” Miss Beckett swallowed to contain her tears. Emotions had run high all week with the passing of Melissa’s father and now with her aunt. It seemed unbelievable to deal with so much tragedy in one week’s time.

Melissa used the edge of her wrap to dry the tears forming in her aunt’s eyes. “Auntie, please. Don’t feel guilty. I know how close you are to your aunt Theresa.”

Robert kindly interrupted. “Pardon me. If it will make you both feel better I’ll send John out to check on Melissa. He lives close by and I’m sure he wouldn’t mind.”

Miss Beckett shifted toward Robert, her eyes narrowing. “May I ask who this young man is?”

“Oh, forgive me, Auntie. This is Robert Gibson, Lord Blackburn’s partner and friend.” Melissa informed her.

“Well,” she spoke with creased brows, a look of interrogation taking place. Then her face softened and a teasing smile curled on her lips. “I think you have a superb idea there, Mr. Gibson.” A hand shot out to his. “I’m Miss Beckett.”

“Miss Beckett,” Robert said as he bowed, “Allow me to escort you to town. I was just leaving myself.” He turned in Melissa’s direction. “I will send John out at once.”

“So soon? That isn’t necessary.” A week, I need a week, Melissa cried in silence.

Miss Beckett cut in. “Oh that’s a marvelous idea, love, that way I won’t have to worry about you.” She sent Robert another smile. “I better get packed.” She scooted away, climbing the stairs to retrieve her things.

Melissa stood, astounded, as Robert made further suggestions. “Melissa, you’re putting it off. Unfortunately for your aunt she has an ill family member. Fortunately for you and John, now you’ll have time to talk.”