My Forbidden Mentor (21 page)

A thrill of exhilaration seized Melissa as John stood above her, watching her with those eyes of his. She followed his movements as he sat on the edge of the bed, lifting his leather pouch to his lap. She observed him fumbling with the opening of his bag and saw him pulling out a small sponge. She raised her gaze and searched his face.

His eyes found hers as he sensed her bewilderment.

“What is that for?” she asked, shifting her eyes to the sponge which lay in his hand and then back to his gaze.

“It’s a device,” he answered, then gave a more accurate description, “A contraceptive device.”

She rose onto her elbows and examined the sponge. “Really?” she replied, taking it out of his hand and viewing it at closer range. “What is its accuracy?” she inquired, as if it were an everyday question.

John carefully monitored his words. If he gave her curious mind any reason at all to question him further than he intended the delicate situation could turn fierce. He wasn’t about to speak of his past experiences with her. “I’m not sure of the exact percentage, but it’s fairly high in preventing pregnancy.” There, that sounded safe enough.

“Well.” She thought about it some more, handing him the sponge. “I trust your judgment, John.”

“You’ll wear it then?” He had to verify she was agreeable.

“Of course. But there is one condition,” she said with a surfacing smile.

“Yes?” John waited with bated breath.

“You will help me with it every time.” Her smile turned into a full-fledged grin.

“Of course,” he said. Holding the sponge in one hand and his pouch in the other he rose from the bed. Stepping over to her dressing table he found a small porcelain dish and dropped the sponge into it. He opened the pouch, retrieved two more sponges and placed them in the dish as well. Melissa watched with earnest, interested in the process. Next he pulled out three separate strings and tied their ends to each sponge. Then, to her amazement, he pulled out a bottle of brandy, at least she assumed it was brandy because that was what he drank, and saw him pour just enough of it into each sponge to dampen it. He placed the cork back on the bottle of amber liquor and began unbuttoning his shirt while the sponges soaked.

“John?” Melissa asked, having that inquisitive tone in her voice.

“Yes?” he acknowledged while tossing his shirt across a chair near the door and proceeding to the buttons of his trousers.

Melissa sank back into the bed. “What about the other times?”

John’s nonchalant attitude took over. “I wouldn’t worry about that. What’s important is we’re taking precautions now.” John tried to slide out of that one as smoothly as he was sliding out of his trousers.

She turned away from him, her eyes staring into the ceiling of wooden beams. “But there is a slight possibility I could be pregnant, right?” She had questions and depended on his knowledgeable answers.

She was full of questions he didn’t want to answer. After all, she would know the possibilities just as much as he, but feeling guilt ridden since he should have known better and taken care of matters on their first encounter, he would answer her. Discarding his boots and trousers, he picked up the dish holding the sponges and brought it over to the nightstand. He sat on the edge of the bed again and then obliged her with an answer to her satisfaction. “I’m going to be honest and say that yes, there is a slight, very slight, chance you’re pregnant. I wouldn’t worry about it though. I’m not, and from now on, with the use of these,” he reached over, taking one sponge in his fingers and squeezing it to rid the excess liquor from it, “We won’t have to wonder about it any longer.” His opposite hand reached for Melissa between her legs. Priming motions began when his fingers prepared to slip the sponge inside her.

After sliding the sponge into place, Melissa motioned to him with a single finger. “Come here,” she called to him with one purpose in mind.

John and Melissa started their week together in adventurous bliss. It was a week to explore their innermost thoughts and feelings about life in general. They took long walks in the afternoons, holding hands as they journeyed through trails of shading oak trees and thick green grass. They searched for creatures of nature to investigate, Melissa’s favorite pastime.

By the middle of the week they had ventured further out, and around noon one day they were sitting on a high ridge of dewy grass, eating berries and speaking of their childhoods. They discovered that although they were raised in different environments, their heartfelt admiration for horses had led them to common ground and had led them to each other, and that was all that mattered as they chased each other down the ridge like children, like two children reliving their childhood but together this time.

Although Melissa suffered a disadvantage because of her injured leg, John had difficulty keeping up with her as she twirled and dodged his pursuing maneuvers. When he would catch up to her she tried to trip him, and as he gave in he took her down with him. They rolled together in the moist green grass, laughing and holding onto each other until the bottom of the hill smoothed into flat ground.

Coming to a halt, John landed on top of Melissa, his grin wavering as his eyes lingered into her happy, smiling face. His gaze traveled down to her elevating bosom, recovering her breath from their child’s play. To John, she could have been catching her breath from a passionate interlude, in that moment it was the same and as real to him, and his features turned serious.

Melissa’s smile diminished when looking up into gray eyes that held her speechless. Of their own accord her fingers swept through his long hair, which hung loose around his shoulders. Her eyes found his again and an apprehensive shiver ran through her as she examined his contemplating expression.

These past days spent with Melissa had caught up with John. He realized that watching her now. The bond between them was growing stronger every day, more so than he had ever imagined. He’d never been this close to a woman before, reveling in the comfort she offered. Never had he shared every aspect of his life to this extreme, but with Melissa it came naturally. The only person who had even come close was his mother, but that was when he was a mere lad. Now he was a man, a man whose desire for this woman lying beneath him went beyond any imaginations he had of what a woman could bring to his life.

John’s hand went to Melissa’s face, his fingers caressing along her hairline. His true feelings wanted to be expressed but he couldn’t manage a word. Instead, his head lowered and his mouth kissed hers. It was a deep, thorough kiss, trying to show her his feelings. Is this love? he wondered as his tongue danced with hers. The realization scared him to death. Loving someone this much created feelings he’d been numb to for quite some time, for the only other person he had loved without restraint had been taken away from him. His kiss turned persistent, devouring Melissa’s mouth, ensuring she was real and wasn’t going to disappear.

John’s kisses had always been delicious and consuming but now they were demanding, requiring her to continue at a maddening pace. What had gotten into him? She could hardly breathe.

Sensing her struggle beneath his conquering mouth, he released her. “Lord I want you,” he breathed along her cheek. His fingers located the buttons of her top and began undoing them.

His insistence produced a flare of heated excitement. Oh yes, she wanted him too, and she didn’t care that they were out in the open. In fact, it felt right to be free out here with all of nature, relishing in nature’s sweet pleasures of human intimacy.

The warm moisture fondling her breasts was welcomed. Eagerly she arched, trying to reach more of that warmth, at the same time feeling a hot hand journey beneath the waistband of her riding skirt. Her fingers gripped John’s muscled shoulders when his fingers began searching her. He had learned in no time at all where and how to touch her. Her eyes shut as she was lost in his manipulations, her whole world at that moment consisting only of John, his scent, the texture of his skin, his deep groans of desire, the meaning shown on his face when he watched her in a state of passion. Scented waves of fresh grass and nearby wild flowers swirled and mixed with John in her senses while she spun into oblivion. Oh life was sweet with John. How could it not be when he makes me feel this way? A moan of satisfied fulfillment ensured she had reached her pinnacle of pleasure.

John waited until Melissa’s body eased into a restful state before stripping her riding skirt and drawers all the way off. He gave a groan of gratification as he kneeled between her naked thighs, tearing at the buttons of his trousers.

Melissa lay floating on a heavenly cloud when feeling a familiar thickness go into her tender entrance. “Oh yes,” she moaned aloud at his penetration, curling her ankles around the back of his lithe, pumping thighs and raising her hips to meet each and every driving thrust.

John groaned aloud at her movements, falling forward onto fisted hands that indented the earth below him. His eyes closed, he savored each stroke of exquisite torture, barely comprehending hands grasping around the back of his neck.

They moved together, taking pleasure in the increasing friction between them, until John heard a distant, “Oh, no.” His eyes opened. Her hands left his neck, dropping to the ground to steady her body as she stopped moving with him. John slowed his motions, seeing there was concern in her features.

“What is it, sweetheart?” he asked. She looked torn between pain and pleasure at the same time.

She had to get a grip. As long as he kept moving she couldn’t concentrate. “John, stop.”

His eyes widened. “What?” he asked in surprise while his pumping action got slower and slower.

Alarmed, she asked him again, more insistent this time. “Please, John, stop moving.”

She apparently didn’t realize just how hard it was to stop at this point, but nevertheless there seemed to be panic in her voice. With teeth gritted together and an added strain in his groin, he stopped. “What is it?” he inquired with mild impatience.

In the moments of rising passion she had frantically remembered they weren’t using any protection. “I’m not wearing a sponge,” she said in breathless regret.

Forgetting all about the possibility of pregnancy, John sighed because he’d gone too far to stop now. There was only one option left. “Relax, I’ll take care of it.” He bent down to kiss her but she didn’t respond.

“How?” Curiosity had her wondering what he had planned.

He kissed her again and started moving, at the same time sinking onto his elbows. “I’m going to pull out before I spill my seed,” he assured her.

Melissa lay back into the cool grass, her hands clutching the back of his neck again. John followed her down, slipping his arms beneath her back and holding her close. “Will that work?” she asked, anxious to continue, trusting him to do the right thing.

His face nuzzled the curve of her neck as he tightened his grip and thrust deeper. “Yes,” he told her, already edging toward release.

Her arms reached around his broad back. “You feel good John,” she whispered in his ear as he took himself to completion.

Damn, he didn’t want to pull out of her warmth but he had too. This time he had to. His breathing turned sharp and ragged before lifting himself away from her.

He collapsed on top of her and she embraced him once again, not minding his extended weight at all. To have him this close was all that mattered. They seemed to be merging on all levels of this extraordinary relationship they had, although she wished it to be more permanent. John hadn’t confessed to loving her, but then neither had she. In her heart she knew she loved him, and the more her love grew, the more frightening it became because she wasn’t sure of his feelings. To be willing to spend this much time with her he had to care. This wouldn’t be a game to him, would it? He wasn’t having his way with her until he became bored, was he? She had to mean more to him than that.

As if he could see in her mind the million unanswered, insecure questions, John expressed his feelings in perfect timing. “You’re special to me, you know that don’t you?” he murmured in her ear before raising his head.

She gazed up into his handsome face that stole her heart, reaching with one hand to lace through a long strand of his hair, which lay across his forehead. “I hope so,” she said, as her insecurities were overpowering her confidence.

John stared into her hazel eyes that sparkled like glitter under the noonday sun, trying to find in those eyes her true feelings for him. Did she truly love him or was she just infatuated? “Well believe it, it’s true,” he told her before rolling his weight off of her, and he proceeded to slide his trousers back up. He finished buttoning his trousers and then went to help her with her clothing.

Melissa didn’t know how to respond. As she and John put her clothing back together she wanted to ask more questions but decided to leave things the way they were. After all, she didn’t want to scare him off. If she revealed that she loved him it might do that. Maybe she was special to him but maybe that didn’t mean love.

They both stood. John took Melissa’s hand in his and they walked back to her cabin with questions unanswered.

They carried on with their routine for the remainder of the week, waking every morning entangled in the lovemaking motions that began and ended each of their days. After a light breakfast, usually muffins and berries, they tended to necessary chores, primarily regarding the horses. Feeding, grooming, exercising and cleaning their stalls all took place before Melissa’s training sessions.

When Saturday morning arrived they lay intertwined beneath the lavender coverlet, treasuring the morning hours that remained. By tomorrow Miss Beckett would return.

Both tried not to linger on their necessary separation, discussing instead their chances of entering Melissa into racecourses. Catterick seemed like the logical choice, but before they could begin Lord Ainsworth would take some convincing. John was sure of it. Out of all four partners, Lord Ainsworth was always contradictory to any new idea or event. He was a conservative to the extreme. A decision was made that Melissa and John would confront him this very day.

After settling that issue Melissa stretched to lay straddled over the top of John, her golden head resting upon his shoulder. Her fingers were swirling through the wisps of black hairs on his chest when he commented, “Sweetheart I could always whisk you away at nightfall when your aunt thinks you are asleep.” One hand rubbed along her naked backside and his other hand pushed strands of hair away from her face. “You could stay with me at my home during the night hours.”

She tipped her head up to see if he was serious or just being lighthearted. Gratefully, he looked serious. “You would continue to see me in this manner?” she asked, almost reluctant to hear his response.

His lazy gray eyes glistened while he searched each feature of her face. “Yes, I would. I don’t want to lose you, Melissa.”

She smiled at his ridiculous assumption. “Lose me? John, why would you think that? I enjoy being with you.” She lifted and moved closer, her face close enough for her lips to almost touch his. “I don’t want to be away from you. Why would you think that?”

“It’s more involved than that.” John was about to continue when the sound of horse hooves approaching outside could be heard. Both startled, they scrambled out of bed to glimpse out the window. Whoever it was had just ruined John’s moment of courage he was daring to take. He was about to tell Melissa how deep his feelings were becoming, but for fear of Miss Beckett returning early, they both stood naked before the bedroom window, looking down to see who had arrived.

Both were relieved when it turned out to be Robert. Their serious talk would have to be postponed. John bent down to retrieve his trousers while he spoke to Melissa, who was also getting dressed. “We’ll finish this conversation later,” he told her, swiftly slipping his shirt on and giving her a quick kiss as he strode out the bedroom door.

Melissa hadn’t realized how important she’d become to him. Standing before her closet in her undergarments, she searched for a dress to wear as she pondered his recent mood. What was he about to tell me? She slipped a summer dress over her body and reached for her brush.

She would learn the truth the next time they talked. She laced up her favorite cream colored half boots which went well with the simple muslin dress she wore.

She was just about to step onto the hardwood floor from the bottom of the stairway when John strode up to her in a quickened pace. As he neared she watched his eyes examine her attire. She also noticed Robert disappear into the sitting room, mouthing hello on his way. She watched John take her hand in his and lead her back up the stairs to her bedroom.

She swung around to confront him as he was shutting the door. Confused by his recent actions and thinking it may be another tragedy of some sort she inquired, “What’s the matter?” She observed him changing into clean clothes while she waited for his reply.

“You need to change as well Melissa,” he told her in response, slipping a fresh silk shirt into the waistband of clean trousers. Searching for a pair of silk stockings, his focus was concentrated and ignorant to the shock Melissa demonstrated. He slipped on the stockings he’d found and reached for his boots.