My Forever (49 page)

~
~
~

Light’s streaming through the curtains.
“
Quiero
decirte
te
quiero
. Is that what you said to me? A long time ago, before I left?” he asks.

I roll over smiling. “I want to tell you I love you. But I was too scared to.”

“I could only remember part of it when I was gone. I thought I had it figured, but I wasn’t sure.”

“You got it. Te
quiero
. Te
amo
.”

“Te
amo
.”

34

We’re on our way to see Eliza. I can’t let go of him. He can’t let go of me. It’s a delightful
arrangement. We’re on the bus because i
t’s my routine, and he wants to know my routine.
To be a part of it, of me, of my life.

Our hands fit together so well. We walk up the hill from the bu
s stop to their apartment, and the door opens before
we reach the top.

“Michael...” Leigh runs out of words and her smile gets a little
frowny
like it does when she tries not to cry. She grabs him in a huge hug
the moment we’ve reached the step in front of her door
. “We have so much to thank you for.” It comes out of her mouth as barely a whisper.

He holds her in a hug and then backs away to see her face. “What?” He looks confused
, not realizing
how much a part of this he is.

“It all started with you.” Leigh presses her fingers to the outside corners of her eyes. “You helped us finish our family.”

Michael’s mouth opens, but nothing comes out. He turns to me.

“It started when you sat next to me in the hallway at school,” I explain. “And all the steps, with my baptism and finding me a place to stay, until the final ones brought me to them. And now this.”
We step
inside of her living room. It’s still just the three of us, but evidence of Eliza is everywhere. In pictures, toys…

And now Michael and I stare at each other
,
and I realize I’m having one of those private moments Brian and Leigh have. He touches my face briefly, and kisses me on the forehead.

I squeeze his hand. Brian is standing just outside of their kitchen, waiting for his turn to say hello.

“It’s really nice to finally meet you.” Brian reaches out his hand to shake but they end up hugging
and hitting each other’s backs
. I know Brian well enough to know that he too, is trying
not to cry. “Thank you, Michael,” h
e says before he lets go of his shoulder.

Michael looks over at me, his face full of the wonder and love I feel every time I’m here.
Because he feels it, and he gets it.
“Wow.”

I’m glad it hits him as hard as it hits me. There’s so much to say
,
but Eliza follows her dad out from the kitchen and she’s not to be ignored.

“Annie Dani!” She throws her tiny arms around my leg. I reach down, pick her up and kiss her cheek. I do feel like Auntie.

Michael’s watching
her with wide eyes
,
and a faint smile on his lips. “She looks just like you, I mean,
just
… S
he’s beautiful Dani.” I kiss Eliza on the cheek and she giggles and starts to wriggle down.

“Oh, she’s much prettier than me.” I’m proud to be part of her life.

We sit down on the floor and Nathan comes home. Introductions start all over again. I sit close to Michael
and lean my head on his shoulder,
knowing that the two of us together helped create
some of the love in the room
.

Nathan talks all about his day, and holds up some things he’s drawn for Michael to see. Eliza goes from person to person, making sure she gets the proper amount of attention. Michael is always touching me somewhere, with his knee as we sit on the floor, with his hand, keeping our arms together…

We say our goodbyes and Michael is the quietest he’s been since he got home.

He takes my hand on the stairway to the street.

“I told you it’s overwhelming, didn’t I?” I look up at his face, still lost in thought.

“You did,” he answers. “This is amazing. All of it.” His voice is reverent, quiet.

We walk out together
down the street,
and I’m okay.
Better than okay.
My hand is warm inside Michael’s. I finally realize why I cry when I leave. It’s because it feels like I’m leaving love behind when I go.
All kinds of love.
Today, love walks out the door with me, keeps my hand in his and I don’t even noti
ce when we pass my safe place—
I’m already there.

35

Jackie insisted we do formal for the first family dinner at my new house. Everyone’s coming. I wear the grey dress Leigh made for me
, and it feels even better than the first time I wore it
.
Probably has something to do with
who
I’m wearing it for.

Jackie and Chase come early to help me set up. She brings two bags of candles, and we need it. My new table is in the middle of the room, and the light doesn’t reach that far when it’s dark out.

The candlelight is stunning
, casting a soft glow
that reflects off the walls
. She sticks her iPod in my speakers,
and
music begins to float through the room.

I’m nervous to see Michael dressed like this. It feels like too much. Jackie can’t help but mess with my hair just a bit, making sure it’s up, and the perfe
ct amount of messy. Michael
started working with his dad again
,
and they’re running late. They also have to pick up Heidi and dinner on the way.

There’s shuf
fling and voices on the stairs, which has to be them. I open the door to look down, and
Michael stops, eyes wide, mouth open. I wish I could capture this look and keep it. Nothing makes me feel more beautiful. He sprints up the rest of the way to put his hands low on my waist.

“
You are absolutely breathtaking,” h
e whispers
in my ear, just before kissing my cheek
.

“Come on yo
u two. W
e’re starving.” Clint laughs behind us.

Michael holds me close as we step inside.

Heidi hands over the weighted bags of dinner for Jackie and I to spread over the table. I can feel Michael’s eyes on me as I tuck bags away and open boxes of catered food.
He
pulls me onto his lap before I can sit. I laugh in nerves at his very public display of affection.

“You’re still…”

“Very much in love with you.” I smile. I don’t know if that’s what he’s asking, but it makes him smile back.

“You’re sure?” he teases.

“Yes, I’m sure.”

“You look like an absolute goddess in that.”

“She got it from Leigh. Seriously, that couldn’t have gone better for her. The amount of freebies she has in her closet from that designer…” Jackie shakes her head.

“Well, you look amazing.” Michael’s eyes haven’t left mine. “So.” He smirks.
             

I’m waiting for him to tease me again.

“Since I already know how much I love you
,
and you’ve already said how much you still love me, should we make it official?”

“What are you talking about?” I like this confident Michael, the one who isn’t afraid to touch me or to say how he feels. I’m getting used to him. I wrap my arm around his neck, still sideways on his lap.

“Well, think about how much we’ve been through together.” His eyebrows rise. “You telling me about the baby.”

I nod.

“Everyone at our school thinking I was the father because your brother punched me in the face.”

I laugh a little
,
but I’m also sad. I miss Daniel.

“Don’t worry.
I love your brother for it
,
and I think he’d be very satisfied knowing that’s the only picture of him I can easily bring to the surface.”

“Me too.” I swallow the lump in my throat.

“We survived moving here together while I did everything I could think of to try and not fall in love with you… and completely failing. Only to wait too long and take away what could have been a great summer.
”
He kisses me on the cheek. I nod at that too. We’ve been through a lot.

“You kiss, how many boys when I was gone?”

“Four,” Jackie says.

“I didn’t kiss two of them
back!” I insist. Lucas kissed me. I didn’t kiss him.
Same with Sean.

Jackie
knows this, but loves to tease.

“Four?” He taps his chin pretending to think
. “Lucas, and now you’re kind of friends?”

I just shrug,
but have to defend myself a little bit. “I didn’t kiss him back.”

Michael’s on a roll
,
and I’m having fun.

“Hank.”

I’m embarrassed about that one. Heidi and Clint didn’t know and fortunately they kind of laugh.

“And Justin. I remember that one specifically because I was missing you desperately
,
and I believe you menti
oned at some point that my rule-
breaking letter prompted you to break up with him.”