My Forever (Canary Series) (15 page)

             
"I knew you wouldn't leave me. I told everyone that you were still alive," Olivia said through her tears.

Ian stepped forward
, out of the light and took her into his arms, "Shhh, it's going to be OK baby, I got you. Just don't cry. You know how much it hurts me to see you cry.”

She lean
ed back just enough to look up at him and laughed, “These are happy tears. I’m crying because I’ve missed you so much and now you’re here with me. Something I have dreamed about for so long.”

“I’ve missed you too. Not a day went by that I didn’t think about you. But I’m back
now because I couldn’t go on without seeing you at least one more time.”

“Where did you go?”

“I can’t tell you that. Oh how I wish I could
but I can’t.”

Olivia step
ped away from him and looked at him with pain and anger in her eyes, “Why not? Did I do something to push you away? I swore that I wouldn’t do that with you, no matter how much I wanted too. I was just scared that you might hurt me. ”

“
Don’t ever think that it was because of you. You didn’t do anything to push me away. I can’t tell you because it’s best that you don’t know. It’s for your own safety.”

“You won’t tell me for my own safety? Do you not think that I can handle myself? Is that why you didn’t contact me or didn’t come for me? I would have left here to be with you and I for sure could have protected myself.”

“I know babe, believe me. I know you could have protected yourself and I know, without a doubt, that you would have left this place to be with me but I just couldn’t bring myself to ask you to do that. Trust me, I wanted to reach out to you and bring you with me so many times. But I just love you too much to have risked your life like that.”

“That wasn’t your decision to make though. You could have at least given me the opportunity to say yes or no.”

“If I had asked what would you have said?”

“
Are you serious? I would have said yes!”

“So you would have been willing to give up school, your friends, your music, your freedom to be with me?”

“Yes, why do you even have to ask me that? You know that I love you more than anything, you’re the one that I’m going to marry.”

“Olivia
, you know that I love you too. But I couldn’t ask you to do that for me. You have your dreams and I couldn’t bring myself to take those away from you. I want you to be happy.”

“YOU’RE MY HAPPY!
Nobody else will ever be able to take your place in my life. No one will be able to make me as happy as you did. You are my happy ever after.”

Ian sh
ook his head, “No, I’m not. I wish I was, but I’m not.”

She move
d toward him to give him a hug but he stepped back, “Ian?”

“This was a mistake.”

“What do you mean?” She asked, hurt. Her voice cracked from the pain she was feeling from hearing him saying those four words.

“I shouldn’t have come back, I was warned that it would make things harder but I had to see you and make sure that you were OK for
myself.”

“Ian, you’re scaring me. Talk to me please,” she begged as she t
ook his hands in hers and held on to them tight. When he tried to pull his hands away she tightened her hold on them.

“I came back to tell you good-bye and that I’m happy that you and Nate are finally together.” Olivia look
ed at him, wondering how he knew. “Don’t ask; just know that I’ve been getting updates about you. But even before all of this happened I knew that you two belonged together and that you didn’t really love me.”

“That’s not true, I do love you.”

He shook his head, “Not really, you may love me but you aren’t in love with me. You never were. It’s always been him. I just happened to be the guy you ran into that day in Cedar Country. I have always known that you guys were going to get together. It was just a matter of time.”

“Shut up! You were my forever, not him. We had plans you and I, do you remember that?”

“Those plans were never going to happen. No matter how much I wished they would, I just knew in my heart that they never were going to. We didn’t have nicknames for each other. When the three of us hung out you would cuddle up to him.” Tears starting falling down her cheeks and she didn’t bother to wipe them away. “Liv, I’m not mad, trust me. I knew what I was getting myself into when I asked you out. I was so in love with you that I just had to be with you. You were my drug, every girl I dated before you meant nothing to me. I only dated them to try to get over you, but no matter what, it was always you that invaded my dreams.”

Olivia shook her head, “I don’t know what to say.”

“You don’t have to say anything. I love you, always have and always will. Nothing will ever change that. But I wasn’t your forever, Nate was. He’s your true happiness, your protector and your rock. He’s my best friend and the only one I trust to be with my girl. I know he will do right by you, he always has.”

“But he lied.”

“He didn’t lie; he just held back some information to protect you. He struggled with what he knew daily, he wanted to tell you so badly. But like any man in love he was scared.”

“What could Cole possibly be scared of?”

“Are you seriously asking me that? Cole had a lot to be scared of. He was scared of losing you and that you might hate him after you learned who his parents were. But the one thing that scared him the most was that you might lose yourself again. Nate thought that once you found out who he was it would put you back into the dark place and you wouldn’t get out of it this time. You have no idea how much it freaked him out when you were in that place.”

“He didn’t even give me a chance. Why don’t you guys ever give me a chance to make my own choices?”

Ian laughed, “He didn’t give you a chance because he was worried about your well-being; we all worry about that. He put you first, like he always does. You have to forgive him Olivia; he’s the best thing in your life.”

“What about you though?”

“What about me?”

“How does it make you feel to know that we are together?”

“Honestly, it makes me happy.” Olivia gasped then slapped him across the cheek. He took his hand and placed it where she hit him. “What was that for?”

“I wanted you to say it hurts and that you hate it.”

“Why?” He asked, majorly confused.

“Because that would allow me to feel guilty when I don’t but believe I should.”

“Maybe the reason you don’t feel guilty is because you know that the two of you are meant to be together deep down inside. Don’t fight it, that’s the worst thing you can do.” He bent down and kissed her on the cheek, “I do love you Olivia, don’t ever think that I don’t, but you are with the person that you’re meant to be with.” Ian turned to walk away leaving her standing there.

“Ian,” she called
out. He turned back around to look at her smiling. “You really are happy?” He nodded just enough for her to see. “You don’t hate us?”

“I have no reason to.”

“Why don’t you come and spend more time with us?”

“Because Olivia, I’m not really here.”

“Of course you are. I can touch you, we’re talking and you kissed me.”

“That’s because you’re dreaming. I’m dead
Olivia; I just wanted you to know that I approve and that I’m watching over you.” He explained before turning around and walking away into the light.

“IAN! PLEASE DON’T LEAVE! IAN!” Olivia screamed as she ran after him.

“Stop! Let go of me! I need to go after him!” she said when she felt someone holding on to her shoulder, “Please, let me go after him.”

“Canary, wake up!” Nate said worried,
“Canary, please wake up! I need you to wake up.”

Olivia opened up her eyes and sat up quickly. She wrapped her arms around Nate and just cried. He wrapped his arms around her and held her close, “I’m here. You’re not alone. Just calm down and talk to me.” She st
arted to take deep breaths to calm down. Once she was calm she leaned back in the bed and looked at Nate.

“I’m sorry,” they both said in unison before laughing.

“You go first,” he said.

“I’m sorry for kicking you ou
t last night. I know why you hid the information from me, and I completely understand. If the roles were reversed I probably would have done the same thing.”

“You understand?” he asked
, shocked, and she nodded. “I’m sorry; I should have been honest from the start.” He pushed a strand of her hair behind her ear and kissed her softly, “I love you so much Canary that sometimes it hurts.”

“I love you too Cole,” she smiled up at him and then looked to her side and notice
d that the chest tube was gone. “When did they take this out?”

He smiled, “T
his morning.” He rearranged them both so that he was beside her and she was laying half way on top of him. “Want to tell me what you were screaming about when I walked in?” he asked as he ran his fingers through her hair and kissed the top of her head randomly.

“I had a dream about Ian,” she told him as she drew patterns on his chest with her fingers.

“Oh, want to talk about it?” He knew that she still had dreams about Ian every now and then but somehow this one was different. He felt her tense up but after she took a deep breath she relaxed. He kissed her on the forehead, letting her know that it was OK.

“I dreamed that he was alive. He had come back to say goodbye. I asked him
where he went and why didn’t he ask me to come with him.”

Nate started to rub her back and she laid her hand over his hea
rt and kissed his chest, “What did he say?”

“He told me that he couldn’t tell me where he went and didn’t ask me to go with him
, even though he wanted to, because he wouldn’t allow me to give up my life here for him.” She was silent for a little bit trying to work out everything that was said in her dream. “He knew,” she finally said.

“He knew what sweetheart?”

“He knew that you and I were in love.”

This shocked Nate,
he never expected to hear Olivia say that. Those words hit him so hard in the gut that he tightened his hold on her and brought her closer. “It was just a dream, I’m sure he didn’t really know.”

“He did, I just know that he did. You may say it was just a dream and normally I would agree, but this was different. It was so real; I have never had an experience like that
before. He told me that you’re my forever and that he’s happy for us. He gave us his blessing Cole. I wanted him to be angry but he wasn’t. He wouldn’t even consider it. How can one not consider being angry when your girl is now with your best friend?”

“Olivia, we are each other’s forever. I get it now, you’re right that it wasn’t just some dream. Ian came to visit you to give you a peace of mind about us.”

“But he wouldn’t get mad. That’s the thing I don’t get.”

“Why did you want him to get mad?”

“I figured if he got mad then I could at least feel a little bit guilty about us being together.”

“Do you want to feel guilty?”
She laughed and shook her head, “Then why even question it?”

“I don’t know, I guess I just feel bad that I don’t feel guilty but he made sense as to why I don’t feel that way.”

“Oh? And what did he say that made sense?”

“He told me that maybe the reason I don’t feel guilty is because I know deep down inside that we are each other’s forever.”

“Like I said, he just came to give you peace of mind that you apparently so desperately needed.”

“Yeah, well
, he had bad timing.”

Nate laughed, “No, he had perfect timing. When you kicked me out last night it broke me. I cried and got really angry because I thought I
had lost you again. And what made it worse was that it was my fault that I lost you this time. That was the reason I didn’t want to tell you about when I truly first saw you.” Olivia laughed, “Why are you laughing?”

“I’m laughing because that was what Ian said when I asked him about why you would hide that truth from me.”

“Ian was a smart man.”

“That he was
. I mean, he had you as a best friend and I was his girl.”

“But now you’re mine.”

Olivia sat up some and looked Nate in the eyes, “Yes I am. You’re my forever Nathaniel Cole Bowen. I think I knew it from day one but was too scared of my true feelings. Ian was safe, secure and someone I was able to settle down with without having to worry. But you, my feelings for you were scary, exciting and dangerous.”

“Canary, you have always been my forever
; ever since I saw you at that party. I’ve learned to be patient and wait for our time to come. I knew that once our time came it would be an epic romance of grand proportions. I believed that when I became the guy you deserved that you would be mine. I’ve worked so hard to become that guy and I promise you today that I may have my faults but I will always put you first. I vow that I will protect you, if you fall I will pick you up; I will be here by your side through good times and bad.