My Forever (Canary Series) (14 page)

She just sat there and looked at him. Tears were starting to fall down her cheeks and she moved away from him without realizing it. As each moment passed with nothing but silence his heart pounded stronger and he got more worried about what she might say. He wanted to touch her, to wipe away her tears and to hold her
; letting her know that he loved her with all his heart and soul. But he did none of that, he didn't want to break her even more. He especially didn't want to feel rejected by the only person who ever truly loved him and he ever truly loved.

"Canary?"
He finally spoke, needing to break the silence.

"Leave." She said
, through her tears.

He looked at her confused, "Please Canary, don't."

"Nathaniel, just leave." Her voice hitched in her throat and she took a deep breath but winced again. She kept forgetting that she had a tube stuck in her chest, but at the moment that was the least of her worries. What hurt the most was her heart. "I want you to leave now." They just looked at each other, neither one of them budging. Her tears started to come more freely and she didn't fight to hold them back anymore.

"Canary,
I’m so sorry. But please, I beg you, don't ask me to leave. Can we just talk about this? I will go sit in the chair and wait until you're ready to talk. But please, don't ask me to leave."

She shook her head, "I need you to leave. Because right now I love you so much it hurts and I hate you so much it hurts. How could you hide something that big from me? We promised complete honesty and you weren't honest with me. I just need space and time to think. So, Nate please
, just get out of here and leave me alone."

He got up from her bed and went to kiss her but she turned her head and he ended up kissing her cheek. "I will come back tomorrow after
my classes and see how you are doing. I will also bring you your class work."

"Whatever," she hit the button that caused the light above her bed to turn off and tried to get comfortable to get some sleep. He let out a deep breath and walked out of her room. Once the door closed he leaned up against the wall and slid down it. He brought his knees to his ch
in, placed his head in his hands and cried.

"Are you OK Mr. Bowen?" The nurse asked when she approached him. He just shook his head. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"No, I just made a big mistake and now I’m paying for it. She hates me, Olivia hates me."

"I'm sure that isn't true. Whatever happened I'm sure she will forgive you and talk it out with you. Just give her some time. That girl loves you more than anything. She has been through so much
. Just give her some time and space."

He nodded and looked up at the nurse, "
You're right. I just need to go to my house, take a nice warm shower and get a good night of sleep in my bed. Just please, keep an eye on her. I know that with her just finding out the truth about me she isn't going to be in the right state of mind. I will be back tomorrow to check on her progress." He stood up and looked back at Olivia through the window, "Goodnight sweet angel. I love you so much and I'm sorry." He kissed his fingers and touched the window before turning around and walking away.

The nurse walked into Olivia's room to check on her and heard her crying. She rushed over to her bed and tried to calm her down, "Shhh
, everything will be OK. Let me get you some water and get you calmed down. This crying isn't going to help anything except for make you hurt even more." Olivia nodded and tried to take a few deep breaths ignoring the pain that shot through her. The nurse returned with a cup of water and some tissues. Olivia took the cup and started drinking the water. After a few sips she started to calm down. "That's it, just take some calming breaths and drink some water," the nurse said as she used the tissue to wipe Olivia's tears.

Olivia calmed down and the nurse placed the cup on the tr
ay that was at the foot of her bed. "That's a good girl. Now, let me help you get comfortable and settled in and we can talk about what has gotten you so worked up." She nodded and let the nurse help her get settled in. "OK, good girl, now why don't you talk to me and we can work this out."

"He lied to me; I trusted him and opened up to him. I let him in and gave him my heart and he betrayed me and lied to me."

"What did he lie to you about?"

"He lied to me about the first time he saw me and when he fell in love with me. He knew me longer th
an he told me. He lied to me about his parents and my parents working together and being in the same organization. Those are major things to me. I opened up to him about my past and he said nothing."

"Maybe he was trying to protect you, protect him, but most importantly protect the both of you. You both have been through a lot growing up and especially this past year
. I'm not surprised he held that information back from you."

"He is... well was, a huge part of my life. Someone I held dear to me, he was one of the most important people in my life and after Ian died he just, he made me feel again. He woke me up and helped me return back to life. He saved me and now here
I’m sick and wanting to fight to get better because of him and he drops that on me. It makes me not want to fight anymore."

"You can't think like that, you have to want to fight for you not anyone else. You mean so much t
oo so many people Olivia. If you didn't fight and just gave up think about what that would do to everyone who loves you. They would all hurt when they lost you and would miss you. Think about Garrett and how he would react, you've been best friends for your entire lives. And then you have Christine who loves you like a sister. But most importantly Nathaniel, I saw how he was when you were here not responding to anything and not waking up. That boy loves you and I see in your eyes that you love him too. Don't give up, you have to keep fighting; mostly for you, but also for those around you."

Olivia nodded, "You're right. I think after I get some rest and calm down I will be able to see everything better. I'm sorry for everything."

The nurse laughed, "There is no reason to be sorry dear. I know that you have been through a lot and it takes a toll on everyone. Everything will work out. Do you want Mr. Bowen to come in tomorrow and see you?" Olivia laid there and thought about it for a moment and then nodded. "OK, I will let you know when he gets here and if you change your mind just let us know. I'm sure he will understand."

"Did you see him when he left?" The nurse just nodded. "How was he?"

"He wasn't too good. He felt bad for hiding the truth from you. He said goodnight to you, that he loves you and even sent you a kiss before he left." The nurse saw the look of concern on Olivia's face and moved to wipe more tears from her cheeks. "He cares about you a lot and did what he felt was right. He said that he would be back tomorrow so you can talk to him when everything has calmed down. Just get some rest tonight OK? I will check on you later. The doctor will be in in the morning and hopefully we will get that chest tube out."

Olivia started closing her eyes, "OK, thanks." She rolled her head to the side and fell asleep.

The nurse walked out of the room, let out a deep breath and sent up a silent prayer that everything would be OK for Olivia and Nate. Those two belonged together and everyone knew it. She just hoped that they would be able to survive all this. And if their love was any indication of how they felt, she had a feeling that they would make it through this and anything else thrown at them. She just hoped that they could see it too. Their love was the kind of love everyone wished and longed for, but few found so early in their lives.

Nate stormed into his room slamming the door shut and throwing his bag against the wall. "CRAP!" he yelled.

"Dude, I'm sleeping here. Can you quiet it down? Wait, what are you doing here?" Garrett said as he sat up and turned the lamp on.

"Seriously! What is going on?" Christine said, sitting up and spotting Nate. "Bowen?" He looked at her and she could tell that he had been crying. She jumped off the bed and rushed over to him.

She went to hug him but he stepped back, "Please don't. I
just really need to hate myself and feel this pain right now."

Christine backed away, "Why don't you sit down and tell us what happened
?"

"I'm not telling you anything. What's done is done and there is nothing you can do about it."

"Nathaniel Cole Bowen I want you to sit down right now!" She said sternly. He looked at her, shocked, and sat down in the chair by the window. She sat in the chair across from him and Garrett brought over one of the desk chairs and sat in it backwards. "Now, tell us what happened. I've never seen you like this."

Nate rubbed his face and then ran his hands through his hair, "
She knows."

"What do you mean
‘She knows’? She knows about what?" she asked, confused as to what was going on.

Garrett looked at him in disbelief, "You told her?" Nate nodded then buried his face in his hands and let out a painful groan. "Dude, why?"

He looked up at Garrett and just glared at him, "WHY? BECAUSE YOU SAID I SHOULD THAT’S WHY!"

Garrett looked taken aback and just shook his head before answering. "I didn't mean while she was in the hospital fighting for her life. I meant when she was strong. You
should have known that the timing wasn't right. You're not that stupid Nate."

"I'm such a jerk!" Nate yelled
. Then he violently jumped out of the chair.

"Oh come on Nate
, please, just sit back down and talk to us. Yelling isn’t going to help anybody right now," Christine snapped. He sat back down and crossed his arms giving her a look letting her know that he wasn't happy with her. "I honestly don't care; give me that look all you want I will be more than happy to give it right back and you know better than anyone that I can give it right back a million times stronger."

"Just leave me alon
e will you?"

"NO, I will not leave you alone. You're
not in the right state of mind and don't need to be alone. You are going to tell me what happened and we're going to figure out how to fix it."

"I hate you, you know that?"

"Right now I do know that because you're hurting but I also know that deep down inside you don't mean that."

He sat there in silence for a few moments and took some deep breaths to calm him down. "What if I w
ent too far and did something that she could never forgive me for?"

"Nate, that's not true. The only thing I can see her never forgiving you for is if you cheated on her. And I know that you would never do that." Christine said
as she placed her hand on his knee and gave it a squeeze.

"What about lying to her?"

"Dude, she will forgive you for that." Garrett told him as he got up and walked over to the fridge to get them each a bottle of water. "Here," he said as he threw a bottle to Nate.

"
We have nothing stronger?" Nate asked as he caught the bottle then looked at it.

"Sorry dude
. Plus, even if we had anything stronger, I wouldn't give it to you. You don't need it."

"Jerk," Nate muttered under his breath. He opened up the water bottle and chugged it until it was empty. After examining the bottle he crushed it and threw it into the trash can.

Garrett settled back into his chair, opened up his bottle and took a sip, "OK, now that we are calmed down why don't you tell us what happened."

"Yeah, because
I’m still lost as to what you guys are talking about," Christine explained while she looked between the two guys.

"Either you tell her or I will Nate." Garrett told Nate when he didn't speak up.

"I'll tell her. Just let me figure out what to say."

"Just tell me the truth, that's all I want
, the truth. Because as soon as you tell me what went down between the two of you I can try to help you figure out how to get her to forgive you. Believe it or not you are the best thing for her and she needs you there no matter what she says or how tough she acts." Christine told them as she sat back in the chair and settled in to get comfortable.

Nate took a deep breath and nodded, "Here it goes, I told Olivia that the first time I saw her wasn't really at Waldon Pond but
, in fact, when we were much younger at a party that our parents had dragged us to. I admitted that I was in love with her from the first time I saw her, that at every function that my parents took me to when I saw her parents I looked for her and that I would keep an eye out for her."

"Why did you never go to her at these functions?" Christine asked with a slight smile on her face.

"Well, when I would get the nerve to approach her I would always get disrupted as I headed over to where she was. When I would finally get to where I saw her she would be gone. Trust me I would look for her all throughout the night but never once got to say hello."

"Then why not get your parents to help out?"

Nate laughed out loud and took Christine by surprise, "Because Olivia's parents had been trying to set her up with someone for the future. We were young still but they liked to have things arranged and planned even if it was for something to happen years down the road. She deserved better than that, she deserved to find her own happiness and her own true love. I wasn't about to be like ‘Hey, I like her, introduce us’ and give them the idea that they should arrange for me and her to get married years later. She is an amazing person and deserves so much more than what her parents had planned. I always felt protective of her and knew that if she got out of that life it would be the best thing. I planned on never joining my family but if she joined then I would join just to make sure that she stayed safe." Christine's face had a look of shock that he was talking about this so openly and he chuckled, "Don't worry, Garrett knows. I told him and, of course, he knows about Olivia’s family so it's OK."

"Right, I'm just not use
d to hearing you talk about this so freely."

"Well, I figured if Garrett was to trust me with her th
en I needed to be truthful and let him in. Hoping that by being honest I would earn that trust and make him realize that I do love Olivia and would do anything to protect her and keep her safe."

"And you have my utmost respect and trust and I wouldn't want anyone else to be with her except for you. You
, my friend, have proven yourself to me." Garrett said.

"Thanks man, that means a lot to me.
Anyway, back to what happened. I told Olivia the whole story after she apologized for putting me through everything and giving me an out. It made me laugh because she thought I was asleep when she told me. I scared her when I spoke, and I feel bad for that, but I couldn't help myself. She was just so cute with her expression. Well, when I told her about my knowing her from before and that her family and my family are part of the same Organization she got mad. She told me to get out and leave her alone, I begged her to let me stay but she said no and kicked me out. I'm going to take her school work to her tomorrow and hope we can talk, but if she doesn't want to talk or see me I understand. I understand if she hates me, I shouldn't have waited to tell her and should have opened up more about our past sooner. Or maybe waited until she was stronger, but I had to tell her because that is the only thing I had never been truthful about with her. Now that it's out there we can work on moving past it and building our relationship stronger."

Christine stood up
, walked over, sat on his lap and gave him a hug, "She will forgive you. Liv is going through a hard time right now and we just need to support her and respect her wishes. Just promise me that you will not give up on her or give up on y'all. You two are perfect for each other. Everything will blow over." She looked over at Garrett and smiled, "We all love each other and we are our own little family. It's getting late. I think we should all get to bed and get some sleep. Tomorrow things will be better and brighter."

Nate and Garrett looked at each other and laughed. Garrett got up and walked over to where Christine and Nate sat, "Babe, why don't we get back to bed and Nate can do what he wants." She nodded
, stood up and gave Nate a kiss on the cheek then headed back to Garrett’s bed. "Nate, I hope you don't mind that she stays with us?"

"No,
I don’t mind at all. All I ask is that you don't do anything that will make me want to hurt the both of you while you sleep."

Garrett laughed, "Don't worry, we are just sleeping.
Are you going to be OK?"

"Yeah, I will be. Nothing a good night’s rest won't cure."

"That’s the spirit. See you in the morning." Garrett walked to his bed and Nate stood up and went to his bed.

"Yeah, see you in the morning." Nate said as he got under the covers and turned to look out the window.

Garrett turned the lamp off and kissed Christine on top of her head before they wrapped their arms around each other and fell asleep. Nate closed his eyes and silently cried himself to sleep, he had never cried so much as he had the past few days and for once he didn't care. The love of his life was sick and needed him. If anything, he was going to fight for her, for them. Things needed to change and he was ready for it. He knew it was going to take a lot of hard work but nothing good came easy and she was the best thing to come into his life. Tomorrow was going to be a new day and he was going to make the best of it.