My Heart is Yours (23 page)

“I do Sam, I really do.” He planted a tender kiss on
her forehead.

“I told John first.” Sam confessed. Jason’s eyebrows
pulled together quizzically. “I’m sorry.” She continued. “I ended
up at their house somehow right after my doctor’s appointment. John
was there. I spilled everything to him.”

Jason stopped her with a laugh. “Baby, it’s okay.
Tell me how you knew.”

“Well, I missed my period. I went to this
appointment that I told you about and they told me I’m pregnant.”
She shrugged. “I told you it was just a regular checkup.”

Jason laughed again, pulled her into his arms and
held her tight.

Sam breathed in his scent and sighed in content.
“Mmmmm. Oh hey, I love you too.” She grinned.

***

O
n this dreary April
morning Sam and Jason ate a breakfast of over easy eggs, toast and
crispy bacon at her brother’s house. At eleven that morning was
Sam’s first official appointment with her OBGYN. Jason was going
with her and he told her he’d try to make it to every appointment
she had.

They sat in the sterile waiting room for half an
hour. The chairs were wood backed . Sam and Jason shifted their
positions in their seats every two minutes or so. The walls were
white with a couple of landscapes hanging. Sam flipped through a
magazine while Jason fidgeted next to her.

“Mrs. Channing?” The brown haired secretary called.
Her voice was like sugar.

Inside the doctor’s office was sterile and clean
just like the waiting room. The difference was there were pictures
of babies instead of landscapes lining the walls. Sam felt like her
heart was knocking on her chest like it was a door; and her heart
was trying to get out.

“Okay.” The doctor smiled. He had graying hair and
light green eyes. “To the best of my ability I’d say the baby
should be here the third week of December.”

The attending nurse smiled. “Awww, right around
Christmas.” She said.

Jason and Sam gave an appreciative chuckle.

“Okay.” The doctor took on a more serious tone.
“We’ll need to see you every four to six weeks. We should set up
your next appointment.” He strode over to his desk to retrieve his
calendar.

Sam’s next appointment had been set for the ninth of
May. With that set they walked back home.

“We need to get a car.” Jason said.

“We what?” Sam asked. Her voice rose audibly.

“You shouldn’t be walking everywhere, Sam. I could
talk to John. See what he has over at the garage. I still have
extra money. I think we could swing it.”

“Maybe.” Sam said slowly. “We have to save some
money though. We can’t spend it all on the car. We have a baby
coming.” A car whizzed past them, blowing Sam’s hair around.

Jason placed a hand on her stomach. “I’ll see what
John can get us. Besides, with the baby coming we’ll need a
car.”

Sam bit her lip. “Yeah, you’re probably right.” She
caved on the subject. He did have a point.

“Are you gonna keep working?” Jason asked. Sam
cocked an eyebrow.

“Yeah, of course. We need the money.” Jason still
had that all too familiar look on his face. “I work in a library
Jason.” Sam sighed. “There’s really very little danger of anything
happening.” She added with a slight smile, nudging his
shoulder.

“What about your classes?” He asked.

“What about them?” Sam shrugged.

“But Sam, how long can you do all of this while
you’re pregnant?” Jason looked at her with one of the deepest looks
of concern that she’d ever seen on his face. It squeezed her heart
to tell him that she wasn’t going to stop, but she had to.

“I’m not going to not go, Jason. At least for now.
We’ll see what happens down the line, okay?” She rubbed her small
thumb back and forth on the rough tan skin of his hand.

He hesitated. “Okay.” He took Sam’s hand firmly in
his and they walked on down the sidewalk together.

S
am was now four months
along and beginning to show. For now she continued both her classes
and her job at the library. She was taking two classes at the
community college during this summer semester. Her morning sickness
was still going full swing and Sam was starting to not fit into her
pre-pregnant clothing. Today she and Juliana took on the task of
buying maternity clothes in a second hand store nearby.

“See anything you like?” Juliana asked as they
browsed the alarmingly pink racks of clothes.

“No.” Sam grimaced. “Is this in the
‘you’re-having-a-girl-section’? Why is this all pink and
frilly?”

“You don’t want pink and frilly?” Juliana
smirked.

“Hell no!” Sam burst and then put her hands over her
stomach, trying to shield the baby from hearing the bad word. “Heck
no.” She corrected herself.

Juliana sighed. “Alright, let’s find you something
with no pink and no frills. Oh, and no bows.” She paused and looked
all around her. “This could take a while.” Juliana said as she
continued to take in the sea of pink around them. Sam laughed and
whimpered at the same time as she pulled her hair back into a
ponytail.

A couple of painfully pink hours later they emerged
with two bags full of maternity clothes mercifully devoid of any
pink.

“Hey, babe, what are you doin’?” Jason asked as he
peeked into their bedroom door to see Sam sitting on the bed.

“I’m just writing in my journal, give me a few
minutes?” She asked.

“Of course.” He smiled sweetly at her before closing
the door behind him.

Sam sighed and looked back down at the lightly lined
pages of her journal. She read over a quick journal entry that
she’d scribbled back on July 20th. ‘
We’re going to watch the
news, Apollo 11 is going to land! On the moon!’
She chuckled as
she read it over. It was just barely legible, she was so excited.
She turned the page and began another entry.

I went shopping for maternity clothes with Juliana
today. You know, I thought that nothing could blow my mind more
than getting married but having a baby definitely tops that. A
baby, growing inside of me. Yup, that definitely tops my getting
married. By the way, it is incredibly difficult to find maternity
clothes that aren’t pink. At least it was where we went. Luckily,
we managed to find some non-pink clothes. I know the clothes aren’t
what matters. Not at all. Having that little baby in my arms is.
I’m so excited and so nervous. Jason is going to be a wonderful
dad. He probably isn’t so sure, but I am. I’m going to be a mom.
That’s probably what I’m most nervous about. Sure, labor scares the
hell out of me. But being a bad mom? That scares me even more.

Sam stood on the plush white carpet of their bedroom
modeling her new clothes for Jason.

“No pink?” He asked with a small pout.

She threw a pillow at him. “You’re hilarious.”