My Husband's Girlfriend (19 page)

“What’s up, Neil? One day you’re swearing you want to make things up to me, next day you’re back over there.”

“Well, if you didn’t act the way you do, maybe I wouldn’t do what I do.”

“So this is my fault?”

Neil just stares at me.

“I’ll let you in on something,” I tell him. “To me your having Dani’s key signifies an open-door policy. First it’s the key, then it’s pajama parties, or splitting a bill, then you two could be staying together. Is that the road you’re planning to walk?”

“No,” he claims.

“No?”

Neil nods real slow, like I ought to be ashamed for asking.

“You don’t have anything to add to that?” I ask.

Neil shakes his head.

“You don’t even want to say if you understand where I’m coming from?”

“Well, Anya, I don’t understand, yet I do. You’re looking at this way more deeply than you should.”

I bare my teeth and want to bite my fingernails. Men are so hard to understand that it creates an enormous gap between the genders. My stuff is like A, B, C, a five-year-old should be able to understand. But with men giving hints isn’t enough, and sometimes being a straight shooter doesn’t help, either. It’s like no matter how many angles you describe, sometimes they still don’t get it.

“Neil, you have a mom, a sister, other females in your family. Haven’t you ever listened to their woes about relationships, the stuff they go through with men? Do you ever sympathize with what they tell you?”

“Sometimes. It’s still different, Anya, because I’m not those guys. I’m me. And you’re gonna react the way you do because you don’t know the entire story. This whole weekend…totally unnecessary. All over a key? I didn’t ask for the key.”

“What difference does that make?”

“No, nooo, listen, Anya. Dani is thinking about what’s most important to her. Now, sometimes that eclipses what’s important to you.”

“And so, I mean, what about you? What do you want, what is important to—”

“Everything most important to me clashes big-time. That’s where my head is now, what I’m trying to reconcile. It’s not about me trying to run and be with her. It’s all about Braxton, in case you’ve forgotten. His birth has changed everything. I wonder what he’s doing right now.”

“Oh, don’t worry about Braxton. He’s upstairs either sleeping or sitting on Reesy’s lap.”

Neil stands up. “I hope she doesn’t drop him.”

“Have a seat. She’s not going to hurt that boy.”

“Y–you don’t like him, do you?”

“What? Why are—That has nothing to do with anything.”

“You pretend like you care about him, but I’m not sure I buy it.”

“Well, Neil, let me ask this. If I was still married to you and got pregnant by a neighbor, and brought the baby home, told you this is a new addition to the family, would you be in love with that child?”

Neil downs the remainder of his lemonade and pushes the glass toward me.

“Just as I thought,” I say with firmness. “Maybe for once you’ll understand how it feels to be me, because up till now very little has shown me you do.”

“Anya, do you know how split I am? I–I feel like I have to be in two places at one time. I want to be here with you and Reese, but I want to go over there and see Brax, too.”

“I’ve never seen any father spend as much time with their other kids as you do. I just don’t think it’s all that necessary. I mean, if you skipped a few days, you think this baby would notice?”

Neil’s eyes flicker with coldness and he stares till I break eye contact.

“Neil, may I propose something? What if I go over there and pick up Braxton and bring him back here each time you want to see him? You and Dani would have no contact, except over the phone.”

“Hello? She works with me.”

“I know, but I’m not exactly worried about that. What can you do while you’re at work, anyway? I doubt you’d screw her on the desk.” I laugh, hoping he’ll laugh, too. When he grins, I don’t feel much better. I’ve heard of women who go up to their hubby’s job his first week of work, then go around introducing themselves to all the women, getting in their face, making themselves known. I’ve never done that. Besides, you can go up to the man’s office, walk all around the building thinking you’ve met each and every temptation in the joint, and there’s always one you don’t find out about until after the divorce papers are final.

“Give me that key, Neil.”

Neil makes a face but ends up handing me the key.

I am perched on the edge of Dani’s love seat, watching Dani, who’s sitting on her living-room floor changing Brax’s clothes.

“I spilled some grape juice on him ” she explains, “and I can’t have him going out the house looking like any old thing.”

She doesn’t have to give me all those details. I just want to grab the kid, his diaper bag, a teddy bear, and get out of there. I feel proud of myself for sticking to my end of the deal—pick Brax up from Dani at two o’clock on a Saturday afternoon, and resist saying anything too sarcastic.

Reesy is singing and hopping on one foot.

“Sit down, girl,” I fuss. “I told you twice already.”

“I wanna stay here, Mommy. I don’t wanna go home.”

I clear my throat. “That’s an idea…Dani, while you run and do whatever, Reesy and I can hang out here. Brax doesn’t even have to go out. I know you couldn’t be gone for more than a few hours.”

“Say what? I’m not down with that. I–I…”

“You what? I don’t mind doing it.”

“That’s what I have Audrey for,” she explains.

“The Audrey you talk about like a dog behind her back?”

Dani smirks and continues stuffing Brax’s bag. “Just take him back to your place and I’ll pick him up when I’m done. Plus, doesn’t Neil want to see him? I thought this whole idea was really about Neil, or have things changed?”

I stare, trying to bore an intense hole in the side of Dani’s face. She picks up her child and straps him in his car seat. “You know, Anya, I do realize the sacrifice you’re making. If you do this for me, I’ll be your friend forever.”

“That’s okay.” I shiver. “With friends like you…”

Dani laughs heartily and finally looks at me. “Don’t say it. I’m not a bad person. You just don’t understand me. You haven’t given me a chance.”

“I think I’ve given you more chances than is reasonable.”

“Well…” She pauses and stares at Braxton. “If that’s the case, why do you do it? If cooperating isn’t what you sincerely want, why—”

I stand up. “Don’t get me wrong. I’ll give you chance after chance, but it doesn’t mean I’ll let you run over me. You don’t want to see what could happen if you try to do that. All I ask is that you respect me and I’ll respect you. I know I can do that much.”

“Hmm, I get ’cha. Nothing wrong with that.” Dani sighs, yet she looks so relaxed, like nothing is a big biggie for her. I’ve always wondered about people like that. Are they assets to society or perpetually dangerous and us normal folk should take a hint and run for the hills?

“One more thing,” I tell Dani, and grab Braxton’s diaper bag. “Not that you’ve asked, but I think you really need to get out more. Hey, if you call me on a Thursday night and say you’re going out to party, I wouldn’t mind watching Brax for you. There are lots of popular clubs out there, and I’m sure—”

“Look, I hear what you’re saying, but I haven’t really thought about all of that lately. My life is work and Brax, work and Brax.” She bites her bottom lip. “To be honest, not too many guys have been taking serious looks at me. I mean, they talk noise a lot but I’m not hearing it. I don’t have time for casual relationships. Next time I do something, it’s gonna be serious. And right now I just can’t see that happening.”

I’ve never thought about how Dani might want to be with someone else but just doesn’t have any solid prospects. I guess she’s in that dilemma—the one where a woman becomes a single parent and gets more selective about who she dates and lets her kids be around. It’s sickeningly amazing how women acquire so many new values once kids are thrown in the mix.

“You know what, Dani? Having a kid doesn’t automatically make men any better or any worse. Men, are men period. You’ll attract the same types whether you have one, two, or zero children.”

“Don’t say that,” she says, sounding alarmed.

“Well, you won’t know this unless you go and see for yourself.”

“I’m not doing that. Whoever I’m meant to be with is gonna have to find me. I’m not going to go search for him. I have an awful track record when I try and choose a guy. My jerk radar is way off at times.” She laughs. “Does Neil have any brothers or male cousins?”

“Even if he did, none of them would be Neil, now, would they?”

Open-mouthed, Dani watches while the kids and I quietly leave her apartment.

18

Neil

I am standing on the sidewalk in front of my house waving to Anya. She’s
backing out the driveway in the SUV. It’s packed with suitcases, a makeup bag, an orange cooler filled with waters, sodas, sandwiches, and fresh fruit.

“Why you got that messed-up look on your face?” Vette is standing in the doorway, her arms folded across her chest. She’s smirking.

“I don’t have a messed-up look on my face,” I tell her.

“How would you even know? You can’t see what I see, Neil.”

“Whatever you say.” I ignore Vette’s rude stare and brush past her so I can go in my house. My spirit is a mixture of joy and anxiety. I am happy Anya was determined to go on her weekend getaway, but I hope she doesn’t get any spontaneous ideas while she’s out trekking through the state of Texas. She’s driving up to Fort Worth to hang out with some girlfriends and will be back Monday.

When she first told me she was going away and asked if I’d watch Reese and my son, I smiled and told her, “Sure, I’ll baby-sit for you.” She rolled her eyes. When I asked why she did that, she said, “It’s amazing that when the mother is caring for the child, she’s doing her natural-born job, but when a daddy watches the kids, he calls it baby-sitting. Baby-sitting? Are you not the daddy?”

Flabbergasted, I told her, “Have a good weekend.”

She said, “No, I will not, and you can’t make me.” But then she burst out laughing. And I knew right then Anya Meadows is one of a kind—
most
of the time. She’s the type of woman that if you aren’t cautious, you won’t realize what you’ve got until it’s gone.

Vette trails me into the house. When I walk to the den, she’s there. And when I am craving potato chips and some Snapple and go to the kitchen, she’s right there again.

“I thought I was the baby-sitter,” I told her.

“What? You paranoid. I ain’t spying on you, trying to keep up with what your scandalous ass is doing.”

I grab two bottles of Snapple from the refrigerator.

“Thanks,” Vette says, and places her hands around one of the bottles.

“That’s mine, get your own,” I snap.

“Oh, I thought you were being thoughtful and sweet and kind—”

“Remember the hot dogs?”

I grip both Snapples and a few bags of chips and head back to the den.

“So what are you gonna be doing, Neil?” Vette asks, following me down the hallway. “Bumming? Eating, watching TV, and scratching your butt all weekend?”

“What if I do?”

“The front lawn is looking mighty raggedy out there.”

“If you care so much, you know where the lawn mower is,” I tell her.

“You are one self-centered, lazy—”

“Hey, hey, Vette, what have I done to you?” We’re now in the den. “Why are you always up on me? I am not married to you.”

She waves her hand, as if to say
Whatever,
and takes a seat on the floor in front of the TV. A Chris Tucker flick is on. She’s sitting so close to the screen that if she moves any closer she’ll be costarring in the movie. Vette starts snickering.

“Hey, Vette, do you mind? I can’t see with your head in the way.” I am beyond irritated. I imagined myself spending time mostly alone, a rarity, and hanging out with the kids this evening. Dani will bring Brax over later. Riley took Tamika and Reese to the zoo and they should be back soon. Great time to do nothing, but with my sister here, following me with every pace, it’s like I have no justice, and no peace.

“Why are you here, Vette?”

“What?” My sister lowers the volume and looks up at me. “You let me come stay with you, remember? You didn’t want me living on the street, living with some guys or even girls, for that matter.”

“I thought once you got yourself together, you’d be…doing something else.”

“Oh, am I wearing out my welcome here? Going to school isn’t enough? You want me to get a decent job, right? Or do you feel I’m like your conscience, and if I’m here, you can’t do what you want to do?”

“Vette, I’m a grown man. I don’t answer to you. I don’t even know why you’d say you’re my conscience. All I have to do is throw you out and all that talk would end, right?”

She averts her eyes and runs her fingers through her hair.

“I just wonder whose side you’re on, that’s all, Vette. You’re so wrapped up in my business—”

“Okay, from now on I won’t be,” she exclaims. “You can do whatever you want, which wouldn’t be anything different. I won’t say a word. Let the chips fall where they may.”

I sit up in my chair. “You meant that? You won’t go tell Anya any- and everything you think she may want to know?”

“Nope, never. You’re on your own, kiddo.”

“Good, thanks. Now, get out so I can watch this movie in peace.”

“As you wish.”

She leaves the den, runs up the stairs. I hear a door slam and I laugh to myself. I sip on my juices, eat my chips, break wind as loud as I want, and feel freer than I have in a long time.

When the doorbell rings a few hours later, Reese runs to open it. I frown, get up, and stagger toward the front of the house.

“Hey, there. She’s gone, huh? You feeling okay?” Dani smirks and rolls her eyes. “Come get your mini me.”

I look at the Tacoma. “Why’d you leave the baby in the truck by himself?”

“Hey, I can’t carry Brax and everything else. Just go get him, please. I think I hear him crying.”

I go and get the baby. Dani is waiting for us in the foyer. She looks relaxed. She has on some cropped pants and a flowery-looking short-sleeved shirt. And it looks like she’s recently been to the beauty salon—her hair is full of bouncing ringlets that make her look even younger than she does normally.

I gesture, so she follows me. We retreat to the den and I remove Braxton from his baby prison. I bounce him on my knee a few times, until he gurgles and giggles, and when he starts slobbering, I ask Dani to go to the kitchen and get some paper towels and a bottle of juice.

She comes back and sits next to me on the couch. Our knees are touching. She reaches across my body to caress Brax softly on his cheek. Then she puts her arm around me and squeezes.

“Thanks, Dani.” I cough and scoot away. She slides closer to me. I look at her sternly. “Do you mind?”

She pouts and rolls her eyes.

“Do you have any limits at all, woman?”

“I don’t know.”

I laugh. “I hope you aren’t trying to find out if you have limits or not. Not right now, anyway.”

“You’re just whipped, that’s all you are.”

“Don’t go there, Dani. Can we just, uh…never mind. It doesn’t even matter.”

“Say what you wanted to say, Neil.” She looks in my eyes and we stare at each other for two full minutes. She leans up and tries to press her lips against mine. I move my head away and continue playing with Brax.

Dani leans against the couch pillows and folds her arms across her chest. She stares around the room. “You’re acting like Mrs. Wifey has surveillance cameras installed in this joint.” Then she yawns and stands up. “Hey, I don’t care that you’re acting weird. I need to go, anyway. I’m supposed to be hanging out with some friends at Club Max’s.”

“What friends? Why Max’s?”

She laughs and shrugs. “I don’t know why they chose that club. Maybe to do something radical like, um, having fun with friends.”

“I didn’t know you had any friends.”

“Don’t be silly. Everyone has friends, Neil.”

“Why haven’t you told me about them? Are they males or females?”

“They’re
friends,
Neil. Hang-out buddies. To be honest, I haven’t seen these folks in a while, so it’ll be like catching up. Don’t worry. They’re legit.”

“Legit meaning females?”

She laughs again and blushes. “You want me to stay here with you?”

I bounce Brax on my knee.

“Hey, I’m talking to you, Neil.”

“Is that why you got your hair done all fancy?”

“Mmm-hmm, you like it?”

I stare at her hair and lay Brax on the couch.

“Don’t do that,” Dani scolds. “He’ll roll over and end up falling on the floor. Strap him in the seat.”

“He’ll be all right. C’mere, Dani.” I pat the space next to me.

Dani glances at her watch. “Damn, I gotta go, Neil. Maybe I’ll see you tomorrow afternoon.”

“Tomorrow? Afternoon? What about tonight? When will you be back from hanging out?”

“I have no idea. But I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”

I watch her walk away from me, leaving the den, hearing her heels click against the tile in the foyer, and then I hear my front door shut.

It’s two in the
A
.
M
.

As soon as I see Dani’s truck pull up, I slip through the front door and walk briskly to it. She rolls down the window. “Hop in,” she commands.

I run to the passenger side and slide onto the fabric-covered seat. The engine still humming, she backs the Tacoma out the driveway.

“Where’re you going?” I ask.

“Shhh,” she says. “You worry too much.”

We drive down my block, up a few more, and end up still in the neighborhood at the end of a block that has inadequate lighting. Dani kills the engine and everything goes quiet. Soon I hear crickets chirping. It’s difficult to see and I wait for my vision to adjust. The wind is whipping around us and causing tree leaves to flutter and swirl.

I ask her, “How was the—”

Dani lips devour mine. I hesitate for a minute but open my mouth. Her tongue explores me, pressing deeper and sliding on top of my tongue. She smacks my lips several times, pecking me. I squirm and want to caress my dick. My knees are smashed against the instrument panel. I wipe my mouth.

“Are you crazy?” I ask her.

“Are you?”

“The kids are upstairs, Dani. Four blocks away.”

“They’ll be all right. I want to be alone with you.”

I moan and passionately kiss her again. When I’m done, I tell her, “I haven’t made out with a girl in a car since my college days.”

“You didn’t have any money for a hotel room?”

“I was a student earning minimum wage. We laid the pipe wherever we could—dorm rooms, the back of a van, in the library between the shelves…”

“Mmm. I believe it. Was it fun?” She smiles.

“Yes and no. Yes, because it was adventurous and sneaky. No, because I was never able to maneuver myself into the right position. If I’d taken up yoga, something different might’ve happened.”

“You’re so naughty, Neil. Don’t change, okay?” Her voice is sooo soft, sexy. I look at her and unlock the doors and command her, “Get out the truck.”

Dani wastes no time opening her door, and I follow her out. She leans her back against the driver side of the Tacoma. I rub myself against her like we’re teenagers in an empty school yard. She arches her neck and I kiss the skin underneath her ear. She smells sweet, edible. I grab her head between my hands, press my lips on hers, and slob her down. She lets me. She’s mine. She has on a black strapless form-fitting dress. Dani lowers the top of the dress and grabs her breasts between her hands like she’s holding two oranges. I suck her nipples, giving each one three seconds apiece as I go back and forth, rolling my tongue across them.

“Dammit, Neil,” she gasps. “Let’s do it, now. C’mon.” First she grabs a large scarf and completely covers her hair, tucking loose strands underneath the fabric. Then she clasps her hand in mine and pulls me to the back of the truck. She steps on the rear bumper and hops in the cab.

“We can lie on these quilts that are in the corner,” she tells me.

“Why you have quilts here?”

“So I can fulfill a fantasy.”

“Stop lying, Dani.”

“Stop asking, then.”

She spreads out the quilts, pulls her black dress above her hips, removes her cheeky pants, and lies down with her legs spread open. I collapse next to her warm body, unzipping my blue jeans. Getting on top, I plunge my rigid, throbbing dick inside her. Dani is soaking wet and squishy sounding. I clamp my hand over her mouth when she begins to wail and tremble. I sex her hard for ten minutes, then we straighten our wrinkled clothes and hop back into the truck. She quickly drives off and drops me off at home.

While showering and wiping Dani off of me, I feel convicted and weakly ask the Lord to forgive me. I wait and listen and stop soaping myself when a voice whispers, “You are not sincere.”

The phone rings at four
A.M.
It’s my cell, which I customarily leave on all night.

“Neil.”

It’s Dani. She’s crying.

“What’s wrong?”

“I’m sorry,” she sniffs. “I hate this.”

“Hate what? What happened?”

“Why didn’t you stop me?” she cries.

I sit up on the sofa. “Dani—”

“We did it without protection, Neil. Didn’t you notice, or did that not matter to you?”

“I thought you were on the Pill.”

“Sometimes they make me feel sick, so I stopped taking them.”

“And when were you gonna tell me that, Dani? After you take a test and find out you’re pregnant again?”

“I’m sorry, Neil. I don’t want that to happen again. I wouldn’t be able to handle that again. What are we gonna do?”

Hey, I was happy to have one baby with Dani, but two?

“Dani, if you’re pregnant, you might—”

“No, nooo. No.”

“Well, you should’ve thought about this.” My voice is tight. I am pacing across the library now. I recognize that, sexy as she is, Danielle Frazier can be sexily stupid. But I feel dumb for dealing with her. I wish we’d used our brains and I’d worn protection, ’cause these days having sex without protection is like eating barbecue ribs without a napkin. Doesn’t make any sense.

“You still there?” she sniffs.

“I’m here.”

“Well, I asked you a question twice and you didn’t respond. I thought you hung up on me.” She pauses. “Don’t abandon me, Neil, promise me.”

“Dani, look.” I don’t know what to do, say. “I–I’m not gonna do that.”

“Promise?”

“I don’t make promises.”

“Neil!”

I pull the phone away from my ear. I feel like ending the call, silencing her voice. But I calm myself down and speak into the mouthpiece.

“Dani, look. Worrying about this won’t change a thing. Say your prayers. Take a long bath. Scrub yourself real good. And let’s wait and see what happens.”