My Immortal Playlist (The Siren Collection #1) (14 page)

I force
d half of a soda bottle down Lucas’ throat. I wasn’t sure when he would wake up from Noah’s attack, and I needed him immobile. Slowly, but surely I placed each of the three men on the couch, sitting up and facing me. I grabbed a box of earplugs from underneath the television, opened them and placed a pair in Lucas’ ears. Then I turned to my victims.

“I know you three can hear me,” I said, looking at each of them with disdain. Only Reign’s eyes were open and staring directly at me, but I knew the other two were just as aware. “You’re not going to be able to fight this paralysis, I don’t car
e how strong or big you are. But no worries, this won’t take long.”

I left and went into the Lyric Room and grabbed a few unlabeled sheets of music. I looked back at the 8 sheets I did know and thought of each victim. All died in their own way so I might live, and all were still stuck in their forms. Immortal and suffering forever. Perhaps I didn’t deserve happiness.

All eight: a tree, a pile of dust, vampire, cockroach, puppy, 2 zombies and a puddle of water. This was what was left of my love life, and I was unsure how many more would follow in their wake. I still didn’t know if I was evil, or just misunderstood, but I continued giving in to my nature just the same. I still carried out the ritual, regardless of how bad I felt.

T
his time though, I think I was going to enjoy it.

I took the three sheets of music into the Prep Room and placed them on top of the telev
ision. Prince would “die” first - just for being rude earlier. I placed ear plugs into Reign and John’s ears but left Prince’s open so he could hear my sweet, sweet voice.

Standing before him, I took a sheet of music in my left
hand and on his forehead, I placed my right. I bent down so that he could hear my voice clearly and then, slowly, I sung to him.

I knew how to speak the ancient tongue, but I didn’t know their meaning. Perhaps as a baby I had learned what accents to place on certain letters and
which consonants were silent - understanding the mechanics but not what mattered most. It was no different than someone who sung out their favorite song from the radio, even when they didn’t understand the words. It didn’t matter what the lyrics said, it was the response they invoked. That’s what mattered.

As I sung sweetly to him, like a mother’s lullaby, he began to shake and spasm. The closer I got to the end of my song, the worse it got.

The words were sweet and smooth, but became suddenly sharp at the end as if I suddenly gained a forked tongue that whipped at the air. Deep inside, the song’s purpose came to light within my soul. It was a fitting melody. A recital of sweet revenge. I wish it had been for Reign.

Once I finished the last syllable, he shuddered once, and then remained still. I began to see his legs fuse together, and scales beginning to form on his skin. I studied his transformation a little longer until a word
suddenly came to mind: merman.

It made sense to me. The sirens of old would often spend much of their time at sea, luring sailors with their hypnotic and seductive lyrics. The sailors longed to be with them, but they never could. Their ships would be broken along the rocks, and they would be killed instantly, like a moth to the flame.

As a merman, he could live in the sea, and see the women he desired every day for the rest of his immortal life, but he could never have them. They would reject him, and in the end, he would become nothing more than a creature of the sea, eventually losing all hope, all purpose, all individuality, and in no time at all, he would forget that he had even been human. Sweet revenge, indeed.

A
s he continued to turn, I could feel my body gaining strength. I could feel vitality and energy entering my pores as I absorbed what was left of his soul to add to my own. I basked in the sensation for a moment, drinking his essence while he became nothing more than a shadow and a shell of who he truly was. His soul was now mine and there was nothing left but an immortal imitation.

S
atisfied, I got back to work. Reaching under the couch and grabbing the axe underneath, I began ensuring that Prince’s immortal existence would be spent in pieces. With those I felt sorry for, I let them out into the world, knowing they wouldn’t reveal my secret without exposing their own, but not these men. These men would spend eternity buried far beneath my house. Henry and Noah were probably preparing a place for them even as I continued to work.

There was no blood, but it was still disgusting work as I put the pieces of him into a garbage bag. I looked back at Lucas, but he was still unconscious. Time for
John.

The song I sung to
John was gruff, with sentences so short, it was as if each line was merely a single letter. Once again, the song’s purpose came to me. It was of warning, not intended to harm the victim too much. Its purpose was all about taking away mobility. Perhaps it was for a man that had shown respect to the sirens and didn’t quite deserve death.

John
’s legs turned to stone, and then the effect rippled up his entire body slowly. Before it got half-way up his chest, I made sure to sever the head. It still turned to stone, but I felt better knowing there was a separation. There was always the off chance that he could remove the stone layer willfully.

I noticed that I didn’t feel any vitality entering me upon
John’s “death.” Maybe my “stomach” was “full.”

Last, but not least was the captain of the crew himself: Reign. I took the last sheet of music and sung it as slowly as possible s
o he could grow even more anxious upon each word I uttered. His eyes were still wide open, and I stared into them fearlessly. I could only imagine the swears and curses he laid upon my name.

It was a slow, sad song. One that made me feel lost and cold. The purpose was one of calling for com
panionship. A song sung by a Siren that had been lost from her sisters. All alone and afraid, she longed for companionship, and this song was the answer.

Reign’s arms shriveled up and began to melt. His feet shrunk to the point that his shoes fell off them. He began to grow talons and his nose and mouth fused together to form a beak. I didn’t need to see the rest to know he was becoming a bird. An eagle by the look
s of it.

I severed his limbs
.

With all of them in the garbage bags, I called for Noah
, and he was there before I finished the last syllable in his name. I didn’t have to say a word. He knew what to do with the bags. Once he sped away, I examined the couch for any evidence of what had just happened, but I couldn’t see any. Knowing Elliot, he would be staying up all night with a black light to make sure.

I t
urned around with the sheets of music still in hand.

And saw that he was awake.

Lucas was glaring at me, with more anger than fear. His eyes were heavy from the concoction, but he was trying desperately to keep them open. His hands were trembling as he fought against his immobility. I could see it in his face. He was trying to run.

“It will wear off in another fifteen minutes or so,” I said. “And then you’re free to do what you like.”

He stopped trembling and stared at the sheets of music in my hand.

“I’m a Siren,” I said to him. “It’s the first time I ever told that to anyone I didn’t plan on killing. That sounds wrong…I’m not a murderer in the sense that I enjoy it. I mean, I did enjoy killing Reign, but…
okay, that sounded wrong too. All you need to know is that I do this for survival, not because I want to. I’ll die without performing a ritual every so often.”

He didn’t even blink, and his anger had not subsided.

“I didn’t want to get involved with you at first. Because I knew that someday, you would have to learn about me, and what I am. And, I decided, that rather than let this play out for too long, and someday break your heart…I would tell you now, so that there’s no secrets between us. You don’t have to speak to me again, and I’m sure it might be kind of hard just going through life like normal, but I just want you to be happy. And…you don’t have to worry about Reign anymore.”

I walked over to the refrigerator and pulled out a water. I unscrewed the cap, brought it to his lips and forced him to drink a little. I sat back down on the couch as I waited. Soon I hear
d him fidgeting in his seat violently and within a couple minutes, he was able to move and speak freely. He coughed and rubbed his throat before walking over carefully and taking a seat next to me. I had to let him speak first. I had to.

“
You should get to Margaret’s,” was all he said, and I felt my heart fall into my knees. But who was I kidding? What hope did a creature like me have…with love?

He left without another word, and
from what I could hear, none of the boys made a move to stop him. Why would they? If I intended for him to die, it would have happened already. Besides, it was 7:00 and Margaret wouldn’t excuse me being tardy. As I reached the top of the basement stairs, all three guys came down from their bedrooms and sat on the foyer steps, waiting for me to speak. I had to gain my composure first. All I could think about what was going through Lucas’s head. Would he ever speak with me again?

“Did you guys get enough to eat?” I asked them. They all nodded.

“Are you okay, Alexandra?” Elliot asked me. I was about to nod, but I ended up shaking my head.

“Not really,” I sighed. “I don’t even know why I’m upset. It’s not like I
ever had a chance at a normal relationship.”

“Then he wasn’t the one for you,” Henry replied. “Plain and simple. Whoever you end up with, he’ll accept you for you.”

“I’ve never heard a story in which Sirens had a mate. Not one.”

“There has to be some form of reproduction,” Elliot said. “You have to feed in order to extend your life, but you said yourself that the intervals are getting shorter. There must be some way the species continues.”

“If there is, I have no way of knowing how. I’m the only Siren I know.”

“Perhaps it’s time we go searching for others of your kind.”

“Road trip?” Noah asked in excitement, clapping his hands together.

“It’s up to Alex,” Henry said.

“I don’t know,” I said, shrugging my shoulders. “I kind of like it around here...if we leave, I’m certain the house will be taken. We wouldn’t be able to come back.”

“The question is,” Elliot said. “Would you want to
come back? Considering what transpired?”

“Lucas might
need some time. That’s all.”

“Take all the time you need,” Noah said.

“But not too much,” Elliot interjected. “Alex, those people you brought into our home. I take it they were part of Blood Snow?”

“They were.”

“And what would stop them the remaining members from gathering a mob together and storming this place?”

“I don’t think –“

“Any of those six people could have called one of their friends and let them know where they were going. They could come to investigate, especially since their leader is dead. And this also doesn’t take into account what Lucas’ next move will be. He may side with his former friends.”

“But they tried to kill him.”

“They did, but the rest of Blood Snow may not know that. Lucas could easily go back to the world he was ejected from and walk into a greater position of power than ever before. Not only that, but his first move in charge could be exacting revenge on the monsters who murdered their former leader.”

“Lucas is trying to change. He doesn’t want that lifestyle anymore.”

“It’s all he knows, Alexandra,” Elliot said softly. “And since he may feel that he no longer has you, he may deal with the devil he knows, rather than the one he doesn’t.”

I ran out the door.

I didn’t think of it as a possibility. That I might force him back to the man he used to be. It’s the last thing I wanted. It didn’t matter if he wasn’t with me. To some extent, I didn’t eve care if he came after me. I deserved it. I could deal with the suffering.

But I needed him to be happy. I couldn’t let him become another one of my victims.
I was done hurting people.

I ran and ran but I didn’t know where. I had no clue where he and his aunt lived, but I needed to find him immediately. So I turned to the only place I could. I went to Margaret’s.

She opened the door with a cry of joy and hugged my neck before I could protest.

“You’re early! Oh my goodness, you really are excited to spend time with me!”

“I am. I am,” I said, “but…”

“Oh, no.”

“Margaret, I really need your help. I need to know where Lucas lives. I have to talk to him. It’s urgent. Do you know where I could find him?”

“I might,” she huffed. “But we were supposed to have a girls’ night.”

“I know. I promise I’ll make it up to you. How about I spend this whole weekend with you?”

“We’re going to go see Zombie Kisses again
then,” she said with a stern face. She was testing me.

“Sure,” I said weakly.

“And we’re going to shop,” she declared. “We’re going to get you a new wardrobe, and we’re going to talk about what you were doing in that ridiculous outfit earlier, and you’re going to do your absolute best to enjoy every moment…and you’re paying for ice cream.”

“Whatever you say,” I said in a hurry. “Now please. Tell me where I can find him.”

“Oswald Street. Third ranch house on the right. I hear his aunt gets irritable at times so be careful.”

“Thank you so so much,” I cried, hugging her back. I think it was the first time I ever did that. Leaving her on her doorstop
in shock, I took off, bare feet and all. After a few minutes, I wished I retrieved my car in my grievous state.

It took me twenty minutes to reach the house and I hoped that he would be home. It didn’t sound like he and his aunt had a great relationship so it was possible he only went there to sleep, but I had to try.

The ranch was small even by ranch house standards. It was more like a studio apartment than a house, and I could only imagine how much tension could arise from he and his aunt being in such close proximity to each other.

The lights were all off, and not even a motion detector flashed on when I approached the front door. The walkway was made of gravel and unkempt weeds sprouting out of the top. The lawn was dying more than any other on the street and the leaves had actually begun to fall on this property.

I gave a light knock and waited to hear any movement, but there was none. I knocked a few more times, but no one came to answer. If someone was home, they were either deep asleep or ignoring me.

I sighed and turned to leave when I caught movement in the darkness. Coming up the walkway was Lucas, his head down a
nd his entire body looking so sunken and heavy, it was like he had been caught in a monsoon.

“Lucas,” I whispered, and he raised his head. His eyes widened when he saw me standing there, but he didn’t move towards me or
run away. It was like he had just seen a skunk jump out in front of him. I approached him slowly.

“Lucas, I’m sorry,” I said, reaching out to him. “I…I know I should leave you alone right now, but I just couldn’
t. I hope you can forgive me. Lucas, I don’t want you to go back to that old life. Please don’t do it.”

“Who said I was?” his voice was so rough, it was like his throat had been sore for days.
I put my hand down.

“You were trying to change yourself, and I
realize that I might have messed that up. You…you put so much trust in me, and you poured your heart out, and I didn’t handle it delicately. I was wrong about tonight. I wish you had never met me…”

“Cut it out,” he said, moving closer to me. “Don’t say things like that.”

“But then you wouldn’t be hurting. You –“

“I would be dead right now,” he said to me abruptly. “I would have died tonight
. And if tonight, it would have been soon anyways. Those guys would have come after me eventually. You saved my life, and no matter what you are, I can’t forget that. Come with me.”

He reached out to me, and I took his hand before he changed his mind.

“Where are we going?” I asked.

“The bridge,” he said, and I didn’t question him any further. We walked in silence, hand in hand. It took ten minutes to get there, but it felt like seconds. There was a warmth to the way he held my hand that I wasn’t willing to let go
of yet. It wasn’t firm as if he was angry with me. It wasn’t soft as if he was disgusted. It was just right. A tender yet urgent grasp.

A clutch that he released once we hit the bridge’s edge.

I could hear the river from below, gently rustling up against the rocks below. The moon had begun to be the sole light in the dark town, and now a breeze had begun running its fingers through my hair. Lucas took off his jacket and wrapped it around my shoulders, making sure it was secured tight. We walked on the bridge until we hit the middle of it, and then he slapped a hand against the slab stone.

“Sit here,” he ordered, and I obeyed
without question, caring little if a push off the bridge would be my fate. I couldn’t ask for a better ending. Between the tranquility, the stillness of the air and illumination of the moon lightly brightening the trees and darkened houses on the horizon, it was one of the few times I felt at ease. One of the few times I wasn’t afraid of anything.

I dangled my feet over the edge, and watched the water below without any thought to what Lucas was doing
behind me. He was deathly quiet, and I almost wished he would push me off onto the rocks below. I would deserve no less after all the atrocities I had committed. Even now, I didn’t deserve his love and comfort.

And yet, that is what I received.

He wrapped his arms around my waist and rested his chin on my shoulder, watching what I watched, and taking a breath of the crisp air with me.

“I’m not mad at you for not telling me,” he whispered into my ear. “I understand
why you didn’t. Why I shouldn’t have watched…and I…I know this sounds terrible, but…I was actually sad that Reign died.” He stopped to chuckle. “What kind of junk is that, right? Mourning an old friend that…that was going to put a bullet through my head…and he was going to do it after making me watch him and my girlfriend…” he paused to scoff. “It’s ridiculous.”

“So I’m your girlfriend now?” I said to the open air. He chuckled and rubbed his chin on my shoulder.

“I don’t know,” he said truthfully, and I was okay with that. “But I will say this. As long as I can help it, I’m not going anywhere.”

“You’re not going back to that old life?”

“No,” he said in my hair. “Not at all.”

“And what about us?” I was afraid to ask, but I had to. I had to know.

“I would like to know more about…what you are. You said you were a Siren?”

“Yeah,” I said quickly. “But I didn’t choose to be like this. I was born this way.”

“And you have to kill to survive?”

“I do…I don’t’ know why you would want to be with a girl like me knowing –“

“– I’ve had to do the same,” he said. I looked over at him. “Except,” he continued. “It wasn’t to survive. I did it for Reign. For others in the gang. Sometimes for me. I’ve killed seven people since we started Blood Snow, and not one of them was out of necessity. I never went out of my way to do it, but to keep my reputation, or to exact revenge…I killed people for sure.”

“I wasn’t sorry for what happened to Reign and the others,” I said.
“And if given the choice, I would do it again.”

“Hmm,” he said, looking back over the water. “But
…you’re okay with that? Knowing I did those things?”

“It’s not what you did that matters. It’s what you do right now that defines who you are. You can’t change the past, but you can shape you
r future.”

“That’s easier said than done.”

“I know,” I whispered. “I get confused sometimes…on what I should do. I know that my feeding on others is a part of my nature, but then my human upbringing tells me how wrong murder is, and I feel like I should be damned for what I’ve done. That I don’t deserve happiness, or friendship, or love. There are tons of people out there who don’t get those things, and they are much better people than I am.”

“People kill each other all the time,” Lucas replied. “And many more would if not for laws and punishments in place. Don’t put them on a pedestal. You may not deserve any of those things you mentioned, but neither does anyone else. We just have to be grateful when it comes our way, and hold on to it. We may not get another opportunity.”

“You really think this could end well? You and me?”

“Two killers? One of them being a mythological creature? Hell no,” he laughed. “But until that ending comes, we might as well enjoy the ride. That’s all life is. You make the most of it, and then you die.”

“But where do we go from here?” I asked him. “I still have to feed eventually…”

“And the old Lucas isn’t completely dead,” he said. “
We’re both still trying to change, but we’ll figure it out. I haven’t done anything illegal since I moved to Casper. That’s a start.”

“And I actually fed on someone bad for once. I guess that’s…a start.”

“For once?”

“My roommates back there…they were former boyfriends of mine. Exes that I performed the ritual on.”

“Are you serious?” Lucas looked up at me the best he could while staying behind me.

“Yeah,” I said, biting my lip. “One of them is a vampire, and two are zombies. They’re the ones who took out Reign’s other men.”

“You all live together?”