My Immortal Playlist (The Siren Collection #1) (18 page)

“They’re still attacking. They’re still killing. When is enough, enough?”

“I can’t join you in this,” I said finally, “but I won’t try to stop you either.”

“Liar,” she said, the L rolling off her tongue. “Lucas has given me a full report of who you are. You’re just saying
that you’ll remain neutral so you can prepare. He told me all about what you did to those poor friends of his.”

“I had to do it.”

“He also told me you enjoyed it. Don’t think that you’re completely innocent here. We all have blood on our hands. I just don’t understand why you’re trying to act like its ketchup. Join me, sister. We have work to do, and it will be so much harder without you.”

“I can’t,” I said.

“What if I offer you Lucas as payment?”

“What do you mean?” I asked, my ears perking up.

“He is bound to me, but I can release the enchantment. He would be a free man, to do as he pleases.”

“What did you turn him into? What song did you sing to him?”

“A human one,” she said to me with a gleam in her eye. I was speechless. “Ah, so I really have your attention now. Yes, that is one of the many songs at our disposal. A song that feeds off of their life, but preserves their human form. He has no powers. No transformations. He’s just human. I thought it would be a waste to ruin a perfectly good specimen such as himself, and being human – he is much easier to control.”

“So that means…”

“Yes. If I wanted, I could give you the song to be human forever. That was the one you were looking for amongst your music, wasn’t it? Wouldn’t that be a shame to find out that it’s not even there? It’s a possibility. But I could give it to you, and Lucas. Provided his feelings for you are real. There’s just no way to tell without taking a leap of faith, is there?”

“I don’t know what to say,” I said. “I need to think.”

“It’s a lot to take in. I understand,” she lamented. “But time is also short. How about this? I give you the rest of the night. Talk it over with your boys, and then tomorrow, I’ll send Lucas to fetch you, and you can give me an answer then.”

“That would work best for me, “I said, knowing full well it was probably the only way I was going to leave alive. I had no plans on coming back to her home. Not of my own will.

“Excellent,” she said, staring me down. “Oh, and here’s another thought before you leave. Let’s say that Lucas isn’t being real with you, but you still want to see his cute butt every day. I could also give you the spell to bind him to you. Then he’ll never leave your side.”

“Thank you,” I said weakly. And then after a
quick wave and a nod, I bolted out the door without looking back.

“We’re all going to die, aren’t we?” Noah said
, as we all took a seat at the kitchen table. Given that he had super hearing, Noah had been able to hear the entire conversation I had had with Pamela. He had related the details to Henry while they were outside, and then we all relayed it back to Elliot in the foyer. Afterwards, we retired to the kitchen table to discuss our next course of action, which, from the sounds of it…was dying.

“We’re already dead,” Henry muttered, slamming his head on the table’s surface
in frustration. “But that won’t make the torture any better. You know she’s going to make us all her slaves. Probably you too, Alexandra.”

“Doubtful,” Elliot said. “She is still looking for the key to reproduction for the species. In all likelihood, Alexandra will be experimented on
until the key is found and then she will be used as a breeder.”

“Oh, that’s much better,” I sighed. I hated it when Elliot was right.

“But we’re going to be butchered for sure,” Noah said. “No doubt about that.”

“You sure Lucas is not listening in on this?” Elliot asked and Noah nodded.

“There’s no way. I’ve been doing sweeps of the perimeter every two minutes, and besides, I would hear him coming, now that I’m watching out for him.”

“So what are our options, really,” Henry whined. “It all sounds bad. Is there no chance we can be neutral?”

“None,” I said to him. “Lucas told her everything. She knows I’m not going to stand aside.”

“So I take it you’re not going to run away either?”

“I can’t,” I put both hands on my forehead. “That’s too many deaths on my conscience. And it wouldn’t really put an end to it, would it? Say she succeeds…we’ll be seeing her again in the future, and in bigger numbers.”

“I knew this Lucas was trouble,” Elliot muttered.

“Even if we hadn’t said a single word to each other, he would have still been spying on us. We would have still been in this predicament.”

“So wha
t are you going to do with him? It’s the only part of our dilemma that doesn’t really have an outcome on us either way. I already know you’re not going to join Pamela, but will you try to have him freed?”

“That’s the question you should all be asking yourselves,” I said to them, glancing at each face. “Say the word, and I’ll read this piece of pa
per, right here.” I retrieved the unbinding song from my pockets and they all stared at it like I had a winning lottery ticket in hand.

“First of all,” Elliot said. “We don’t even know if that’s what it actually does.”

“I’m pretty sure,” I said, re-reading the lyrics. “I recognize a few of these words, and the song isn’t long. It’s more like a chant than anything. The words fall in line. I think she actually wants me to sing this, so I could see how terrible you men are and end up running to her side.”

“We are terrible,” Henry muttered.
“You don’t need a piece of paper to tell us that.”

“Still doesn’t answer the question, guys,” I said. “What do you want me to do? It doesn’t have to be a group decision. You can make up your minds individually.”

“That’s not something we might want to do so publicly,” Elliot said. “What if one wants to be freed but they are unwilling to admit in front of the others?”

“Then what do you propose? I come to you one by one?”

“That would be proper,” he said. “It enables each of us to state our desire, you can say your good-byes if applicable, and they won’t have to face the other roommates again. They can save any kind of embarrassment that may arise.”

“Okay,” I said, growing more afraid by the second. “Then…um…who wants to go first?”

“I’ll be in my room,” Henry said.

“I’ll stay here in the kitchen,” Elliot smiled. “Mobility issues.”

“I’ll stick to the basement then,” Noah said. “I’ll watch some television while I wait.”

“Don’t tell us who’s first,” Elliot replied. “That kind of ruins the purpose. Just let us get into position and then choose where to start.”

I could feel my heart banging up against my chest. What if all of them chose not to stay with me? What if I lost them all, even Elliot? I closed my eyes and counted to thirty, feeling Elliot’s eyes over me. Every second I listed off, my heart grew louder and beat more urgently.

I knew that there was a possibility of me and Lucas not making it. There was no telling what would happen between my deadline and
now. But now that I knew he had been under Pamela’s spell the entire time, I realized that I wouldn’t learn the full truth of his feelings towards me until he was freed, and I wasn’t sure I wanted to know. Visions of him snickering and walking away from me, without so much as a second glance played out in my head, and then they were replaced by images of my roommates, each of them asking me to free them of their burden. I didn’t know if I could take all of the rejection. What would I do then? Go to Pamela by default? Simply out of companionship?

I was starting to get pissed. I prided myself on not being defined by a man, and yet here I was, thinking of turning to the enemy if all the men in my life rejected me.

Still…I hadn’t realized just how important they all were to me until I was about to lose them - how much they had helped me grow. I was stronger now. I was less afraid of everything now. Maybe defining me was the wrong phrase. They didn’t define me. But they certainly helped me ascend, and become a more concrete person. I only hoped that I had done the same for each of them in some way.

I opened my eyes, and Elliot was
still there, waiting for me patiently. I looked down at the paper in my hands, and then back up at him. He was waiting for me to speak. That was so unlike him.

“I’ll go with you first,” my voice cracked, as I fidgeted with the paper in my hands.

“I understand,” he said with a nod. “I am the least mobile. That way, I could take my time in leaving once the process is done.”

“So you...um…you made your decision.”

“I’m shocked you don’t already know it.”

“I’m having a blonde moment,” I laughed hysterically, but he didn’t think it was funny, so I cut it short. “Um, go ahead, Elliot.”

“Alexandra, you would perish without me.”

“Yeah, I would be dead
,” I said flatly. My throat went dry.

“No, not killed. Not dead. Perished. You would literally waste away in a pile in the corner with all of your emotional baggage and self-l
oathing. If it wasn’t for me slapping some sense into you occasionally, I believe you would have gone downstairs, grabbed a sheet of music and transformed yourself into a goldfish to escape the agony of making decisions for yourself.”

“My hero,” I muttered. “I should ever be so grateful.”

“You should,” he said, sticking up his nose a bit. “But that’s beside the point. This is my hour now.”

“Please don’t
tell me you’re going to take a literal hour when I only need a one sentence answer.”

“Hush, I’m talking,” he said as I groaned and sat back in my seat. “Now,” he said, clearing his throat, and yes, it sound
ed disgusting when he did it. “In spite of the fact that you would die without me, I do have to consider my own needs. I am of the undead persuasion. I have no legs. I would certainly need a caretaker of some sort so staying purely out of necessity sounds delightful. But, given that we also have a friendship to take into account, I don’t think it is proper to keep a veil over my eyes.”

“So, if I may sum up what you said,” I laughed. “You want me to remove the enchantment.”

“Yes. Honestly, I don’t think it will change the way I feel about you at all. This spell may enhance your qualities, and I do feel a connection to you because of it, but given the amount of time we have spent together, I believe that a second connection has been established that will transcend the first. This second connection is that catalyst for which –“

I began rambling off the lyrics in my hand as he waved both hands at me.

“Wait! I’m not finished!” he cried out, but I wasn’t about to let up. I couldn’t take his explanation anymore, and he had already made a decision.

When I recited the final word, I looked up at him, and his eyes were wide with shock.

“What is it?” I asked him urgently. “What changed? Please tell me.”

“You’re adorable,” he said, then immediately slapped a fleshy hand to his lips.

“Wait, what?” I cried in disbelief. “It didn’t work?”

“No, it did. It did,” he said, removing the hand from his lips and scratching his thin hair. “Hmm. Interesting.”

“If you don’t tell me…”

“Before…
you were like an angel. I could see what you looked like, but it was all glows and radiance and airbrush effects. It’s hard to explain. But…now I can see you in your natural light, as if the make-up that had been caked on you like a clown had been removed and you had just come out of a cleansing shower.”

“So I’m adorable?” I perked up.

“Cute, yes. Magnificent, beautiful and gorgeous like you were before? No. Also, I didn’t notice prior that your voice had this annoying twinge at the end of your sentences. It’s like you’re trying to talk to me while flossing your teeth. Hmm. And your clothes need a wash. There’s a pimple on your left cheek. I think there’s dandruff on your right shoulder. Your eyes are kind of dull where before –“

“- I get it,” I said, sighing. “But more importantly, how do you feel about me? Ready to go travel the world? Or are you still able to bear sticking with me a little while longer?”

“I don’t feel a necessity to stay by your side,” he admitted, “but…I want to. Which would parallel my earlier theory about the –“

“– I don’t ever want to hear the words, ‘second’ and ‘connection’ together again,” I said to him. “For my sanity, please.”

“As long as you get a speech coach,” he winced. “Can you please not do that noise at the end of your sentences?”

“Speech coach it is. Deal
,” I laughed, leaping over the table and giving him a hug. It was gross and I’m sure more than skin stuck to my clothes when I let go, but for once, I was happy Elliot was still in my life.

“Alright, now go to those other two,” he said. “They’re waiting.”

“Right, and Elliot?”

“Hmm?”

“Thank you. Thank you so, so much.”

“My pleasure
,” he replied, and I exited the room. I decided to head up to Henry’s bedroom since Noah was occupied watching television. Henry opened the door as soon I reached the top of the steps and held it open so I could go inside.

I hadn’t really taken a look inside since Henry had moved in. Before it had been solely a guest room. A bed, light, a small desk for writing. Little else. But now it was covered in movie posters. He had brought in a dresser which was overflowing with clothes. His bed was unmade
, but I didn’t care. He had installed lights in the ceiling and there was light rock music playing from an IPod, nestled safely into a stereo dock.

Henry plopped onto the bed and I sat down next to him sheepishly, the piece of paper getting folded over and over in my hands.

“So, what do you want me to do?” I asked him. He sat there in silence for a moment, and then grabbed my right hand, folding it into his.

“Where do you stand with Lucas right now?” he asked me.

“I’m not sure,” I said, squeezing his hand into mine.

“You love him?” he asked, and I met his gaze. He needed answers from me, and though Henry was the last person I wanted to vent to, I was willing to give him what he needed. It could be the last time I ever saw him.

“How could I?” I laughed, a sole tear roaring down my cheek. He reached up and wiped it away. “I don’t even know what’s real and what’s not.”

“I know the feeling,” he said, looking at my lips. “But,” he said, turning away and releasing my hand. “We
all got to move forward sometime.” He stood up and leaned up against his dresser. “You have a big decision to make tomorrow. I’d like to know your answer. What are you going to do with Lucas? Free him?”

“What does it matter what I do with Lucas?”

“It matters a ton,” he scoffed. “If you’re willing to risk freeing him, then it means you still care about the guy. If not, it means in your mind, you two are done. So which one are you going for tomorrow?”

“I think…” I took a gulp. My throat suddenly got parched. “I think I’m going to have him freed.”

“Because you care about him,” he said, blinking rapidly. “You want to see if there is hope for your relationship. I understand that. That’s what relationships are all about. You take risks. You fight for one another, and you hope for the best outcome, even if sometimes that outcome isn’t what you wanted.”

“Henry, what do you want to ask me?” I said softly. “I know you have a question. I can feel it in the air.”

“When we were going out, we had a lot of fun together, and it doesn’t take a genius to know that I still have feelings for you. A lot of them. I didn’t care about being on the streets. It didn’t bother me like it does Elliot or Noah. Noah’s the one that approached me with the idea of bartering for a room here, and I came, out of hope, that we might be able to put a spark back into what we had. Yeah it hasn’t been long, but from what I’ve seen, my chances are about as high as my dead heart beating back to life.”