My Kiasu Teenage Life in Singapore (17 page)

I read this really GREAT and funny story by Jeffrey Archer. He's my favorite author—I really admire his style. When you read his short story, you don't know where it's leading and at the end there's a twist, which is so ingenious and unexpected! Oh ya, the story was “Broken Routine” in the book
A Quiver Full of Arrows
(in case you want to read it).

Well, bye.

Love, Pei Yi

Sunday 20 September

Dear Mei Yee

I just received your letter today. How were your exams?

Today, I got back my Macbeth Lit. test. I'm so happy to get full marks. Lingling was the other one in my class to get 12/12. Lingling said I spread my motivation and drive to the people sitting around me.

Did you watch
City of Joy?
I didn't see it, but Jen Nee and Sunny told me the story. It's very (100x) touching and even more so because it shows the real conditions of the poor people in the slums of India. So sad. I wish I can do something to make a change but I can't. Their government should educate them and control the population.

I'm so horrified to know about the Serbs cutting up the pregnant woman!!! My God. How can they ever do such things?!

It's very heartbreaking that Eric doesn't like me so I shall not care about him anymore. We're not even friends. I'm always dumbfounded when he says something witty. Sunny and Jen Nee are quite witty. Yesterday, Nancy (who's very brave with guys) asked Eric to draw something and Jen Nee said, “This is your chance to talk to him” when Nancy went to his hutch in the prep room, so Jen Nee and I followed. Anyway, he hadn't drawn anything and we were just standing there. He said, “Is this a tourist attraction?” ('coz we were staring at him in his hutch) and I didn't know how to answer and I said yes (which is so stupid to say) and Jen Nee said, “Are you complimenting yourself?”

I'm so happy that you're applying for ASEAN scholarship!! Are you going to take Science in JC too?

The other day, Jen Nee and I played this very funny game of Creating A Play, or Consequences. The characters in our play are people from the hostel. Let's say you and your partner agree to write as Elizabeth and Matt. For example, you write, “Elizabeth: Oh Matt I'm so ugly. I wish I wasn't so fat.” Then you fold the paper over and pass it to your partner. Maybe your partner (who doesn't know what you wrote) writes: “Yes. I agree.” It was SO funny. We laughed and laughed.

Here's an example of what we wrote:

Play #1

Matt (written by Jen Nee): Cheng Hoe! Cheng Hoe! Let's go to the activities room and socialize.

Cheng Hoe (written by me): Matt, I have a secret to tell you. You know I never talk about girls. But actually I think about them ALL THE TIME! I don't want to look at my Physics books anymore. What shall I do?

Matt: So are you going to the activities room or not?

Cheng Hoe: No I don't want to do that. I want to have some fun. Let me tell you what happened last night. A Nanyang girl came up to me and said that she thinks you're ugly. I told her that she's right. Do you agree?

Matt: No.

Cheng Hoe: You idiot! Why did you say no. Didn't we agree on that earlier? Do you want to go to the disco. I want to ask Ms Lily Sim if she wants to go. Look, she's with that guy again—Niles.

Matt: Bullshit! You're talking rot. I think Niles likes me better.

Cheng Hoe: Oh, thank you for saying that. You always make me feel better, you know. One day I must repay you. What do you want me to do?

Matt: Ai yooi. Of course lah. You have so many pimples on your nose.

Cheng Hoe: Why you so cheap one?! Must
tiau keh
a bit what! I'm so ashamed of you. Hey look, Niles is coming. Ask him what he thinks.

Matt: OK, no problem. I think I can bear with the thought that Nicole likes you.

Play #2:

Pei Yi (written by Jen Nee): Oh Eric! Oh! Oh! Eriiiiic! I'm aching for you. Don't you want me. Say you do. We make a perfect couple.

Eric (written by me): I never knew. But I guess I have to tell you that I'm actually gay. What do you think can cure me. I'm the president of the Networking Club. If I'm not cured, I may get kicked out.

Pei Yi: Eric, let's go swimming. I'm yearning to see your body. The memory of you crawling around when we were doing the deco is still fresh in my mind.

Eric: What do you find so attractive about me? I never knew that people find me attractive. Alisa and our ex-classmates always say I'm Alvin the Chipmunk.

Pei Yi: Maybe. Maybe not. That depends on how you interpret it. Hey look, here comes those CHIJ Networking Club girls. Let's pretend we don't know them.

Eric: Let's do it then. I quite agree with you. Where do you want to go watch
City of Joy?

Pei Yi: Please don't talk to them. They're so loud-mouthed and flirtatious. I'm sure you only like girls like me. You know I used to dream of you every night and used to moan and lament 'cause you weren't mine then.

Eric: Have you seen my Cow glue? I lost it. Oh no! It's in my pocket and it's all spilled. I'm glued to this spot on the ground now.

Pei Yi: Go away! I thought you were loyal to me but looks like you are a big flirt. You wanna know something. Alisa didn't tell me you look like Alvin the Chipmunk. I thought of it myself. Ha! Ha! Ha! Alvin the Chipmunk, Alvin the Chipmunk!.

Eric: I love you. I hope we'll get married someday.

Play #3:

Alisa (written by me): Oh my back hurts from dancing and shaking so much last night! I need someone to massage it.

Gaik Teong (written by Jen Nee): Juliet, Juliet, where at thou Juliet. Show your pretty face to your Romeo and he shall protect you from the cruelty of humankind.

Alisa: Thank you. I feel so much better now. We should do this more often, you know. Gaik Teong, I hear that there's a girl in the hostel after you. I hope it's not true!

Gaik Teong: Come on darling, pretty please. Let me touch you. My hand is aching to touch you. It's aching so much that I have to apply Mopiko.

Alisa: Let's go swimming. I want you to see my new bikini. It's your fav colour and size: transparent and teeny.

Gaik Teong: Oh no. Not again. Why must we always go through this. I guess this is the consequence of dating a beautiful girl.

Alisa: No, I do not agree. I think that we make a a terrific couple. Let's get married once I finish my O levels! Please. I'm pregnant. Have you no feelings for your baby?

Gaik Teong: Yes! Of course yes. Yes, yes, yes, yes. I am yours; if only you'll say yes too. Eeek! What is that!? A frog, a frog! Alisa, save me!

Alisa: What! You want me to abort the child! You heartless, obscene, insensitive pig! I will marry Matt tomorrow and dump you!

Gaik Teong: How fortunate. If not for you, that frog would probably be jumping around here just now.

Yesterday, Nicole and I washed our very dirty toilet bowl. We were so disgusted. We held our noses and she brushed it. At last when all the soap powder was flushed away, we were rewarded with a white, shiny toilet. A far cry from the dark, brown, yellowish one a few minutes before that!

I'm very ambitious about Final Exam. What I mean is, doing well counts a lot to me. I've sort of “overcome” feeling terrible 'bout being in a class of people-who- are-not-that-intellectual.

Cheng Hoe said all the guys are prepared for their Finals. The guys (ASEAN scholars) are either SO hardworking or SO ingenious.

Nicole is so stressed about Finals. She is studying very hard, which is good, but she kept getting depressed and having anxiety attacks. She says that she wants to get some pills that improve memory.

About Eric, I wish that he'll like me but as this is just one of my inaccessible dreams (like David Copperfield/Keng Joon/Larry/Li Ming/King Kong/Gary/Brad/Kirk Cameron/Ricky Schroeder), I shall stop thinking about him.

Love, Pei Yi

PS My recent monthly test results were not quite satisfying. No, I've not become a marks freak. These are my August marks:

English Composition: 27/40 (must at least get 30 for the finals)

English Comprehension: 29
^1/
2/50 (so low!)

History: 16/20

Literature: 17/20

E.Math: 83/100 (so terrible! I should get full marks)

Add. Math: 34 1/2/40 (so terrible too! I should get full marks)

Chem: 28/37 (must do real well)

Physics: 34/40 (must do real well)

AEP: 69/100 (deplorable!)

Principle of Accounts: 43
^1/
2/50 (must get full marks)

Saturday 26 September

Dear Mei Yee

Hi! I've so many things to tell you.

Yesterday, Elizabeth sort of gave me an English lesson. She's good at everything! Her English is really good. She got 30/30 for comprehension at the beginning of the year and the English teacher said she's never given anyone 30/30 before! Elizabeth wants to be an English teacher next time 'coz she wants to show people the beauty of English, so that they can learn to love it. Elizabeth has a classmate who is giving Primary 1 tuition and getting S$70 an hour (!) for one person. That girl just gives exercises from a workbook! Everyone here is very studies-oriented because they have GEP (Gifted Educational Programme) streaming and everyone wants to go in. There are only three schools with GEP classes: RGS, RI and ACS. GEP pupils get tons and tons of privileges! They get specially-trained teachers who teach them almost one-to-one, they have different time tables from the normal students, they do different worksheets, they get brought to Egypt and everywhere, they get EVERYTHING. There're only a few people per class. They find O levels
kacang putih.
At the beginning of the year, let's say a girl gets into GEP (just scraping through) and a girl misses by a few marks, after a year, they'll be miles apart! That is what I feel about the ASEAN scholars who get to go to RGS—they get all the best teachers, best facilities, environment, blah blah blah. It's unfair! Elizabeth is really good at everything. The English standard in her school is much higher than ours. Elizabeth can quote from memory passages from Julius Caesar.

Anyway, last night Jen Nee and I were feeling quite bothered about all this. Which is why I really want to get into RJC (Raffles Junior College). To get into RJC, you need the minimum aggregate of six points and RGS and RI people automatically get two points. It's unfair. I feel that if we'd gone to RGS, our potential would've been developed much better. It's not as if we won't do as well as some of those ASEAN scholars who're in RGS. I feel it's unfair 'coz our potentials are not developed to the fullest. Just take English lessons. The English lessons I have aren't really beneficial but Elizabeth's teacher teaches them how to improve this and that and give them really interesting work. Elizabeth said she wants to go to university and just learn and learn and give lectures and talk to intellectual people and never graduate for her whole life. Oh ya, if you're the top person in GEP, you might as well consider yourself the smartest girl in Asia. I think in Malaysia, there are surely many more people cleverer than those in GEP, but they never get the opportunity to develop their potential and then it becomes lost. Oh, I just can't stand it. Anyway, I can't do anything 'bout it.

Love, Pei Yi

Monday 5 Octocber

Dear Mei Yee

Just received your letter. Let me answer your questions first.

Yes, you're right that I shouldn't always compare and complain about my class and how the Science classes have more opportunities than me. I do feel bad that I am not always thankful for my circumstances, which are not bad at all compared to many people. I actually already posted to you more letters where I again compared and complained about such things—please just ignore those parts. I actually constantly try not to complain. I make lists in my diary to convince myself that being in my class instead of a Science class is actually a blessing in disguise, but maybe I should just admit to myself that it was a irrevocable mistake and then just live with it. I mean, it's just two years of my life, and I still have so many years ahead of me. Sometimes when I think about it I feel so bad for wanting my classmates to be so intellectual. I mean, they're so nice to me and I'm just like a spoilt brat if I expect them to be so clever—they can't change.

Yes, Mid-Autumn Festival is Mooncake/Lantern/Zhong Qiu Jie Festival. I don't care 'bout guys now. The last guy I talked to was Gaik Teong—he's so funny. He's also very mean to Nancy. Let me start from the very beginning. Nancy was sitting on the prep room table, in the hutch, curled up so Jen Nee and I asked Gaik Teong to stand up and look. He said, “How can that thing fit into a hutch?!” I said, “Coz she's a rabbit.” He said, “I don't see the resemblance.” Then I asked him 'bout his lessons in school and I read his English worksheet to improve my English. Then I asked him why he is so mean to lead Nancy on, like giving her a rose during Farewell. He said, “She was looking so desperate and I had no one to give the rose to.” I said, “We were all standing around and even more desperate, how come you didn't give us?!” He said, “I didn't know you were desperate. If not, I give you, loh.”

I respect people who are naturally clever. I think all ASEAN scholars are very special—every one of them has a special quality if you look carefully. The Singapore government is so clever to get all the brains to work for Singapore. Did I tell you next time I want to live in Singapore? I just love it here.

I feel so happy to be one of the ASEAN scholars. Last Sat, we had a Sec 3 and Sec 4 Batch Outing to the Botanic Gardens where we sat and played games and Ekan played the guitar. So fun! We played this game with two teams. Nancy (the host, naturally—she loves being leader and is quite good at it) says, “Send out the person with the LONGEST LEGS or can talk the most nonsense without stopping!” Then, both teams compete. We sent Elizabeth for the person who can talk the most nonsense without stopping and she chattered away as fast as an MRT without a single break!