My Kiasu Teenage Life in Singapore (9 page)

My letters aren't short! Have you received the long one? Hey, please answer my questions in my letter, OK? Well, maybe my letters are shorter 'coz I write them in a day instead of continue every day like I used to. What am I going to do about my heart?! I feel so sad 'bout it. I don't feel like writing now.

Love, Pei Yi

PS Would you feel awkward being naked in front of doctors? It's a terrible experience that I'll probably have to undergo once more on 2 May. Oh dear, I hope it's nothing too serious like “You have six years to live!”

Venue: Prep room

Time: No watch, but I think it's 8.15 pm

Date: April

Age: 16 already! How fast!

Feeling: Depressed but pretend not to be

Glad I received your long-awaited letter

Love, Pei Yi

Saturday 4 April

Dear Mei Yee

Guess what? I have chicken pox! I'll have about two weeks of no school, excess porridge and lots of time to write to you. Gosh, it's so difficult to write with my left hand. I found a spot on my palm and one on my leg (isn't it weird, you'll probably imagine them at the wrong places on the palm and leg) this morning. Last night I had a fever.

Am staying here, despite protests from some hostelites. Jen Nee is quite displeased about some people blaming her for spreading chicken pox to me and another girl.

This morning, Jen Nee and I went to Toa Payoh to see the doctor but first we walked around the shops. I bought ten blank tapes for S$18 and a 2nd Chance shirt for my dad for S$26.90 using my S$10 voucher. Had lunch then went to the clinic but it was closed (half day today) so I had to go to a private doctor. It cost Jen Nee S$36 when she consulted that doctor but I paid only S$17 'coz I could get most of the medicine from Jen Nee (unfinished). The doctor said I can eat anything except deep-fried food. When I told him my friends said I shouldn't eat cucumber, prawn, black sauce, chicken and so forth, he said it's just superstition.

Tomorrow, all the Sec 3s in my hostel are going to Sentosa Island but I can't. Oh dear, I don't want to miss school. I can't stand missing the fun. Last night, Sunny, Jen Nee and I walked around the housing estate and talked in the dark about the gross and cruel things that happen in Asia (eg, the lives of prostitutes).

Sunny also likes to bad-mouth people. Because she's a confident and interesting person, and also good at storytelling, usually we like to listen to her talking and complaining about others, eg Nicole, Alisa and several others. And I know that deep down, I also like to listen to her bad-mouthing people because it makes me feel like I'm slightly better than those people, but it's actually bad to be like this; I wouldn't be enjoying this gossip if I were a more confident person myself. I asked Jen Nee what she thought about all of this. She said someone told her that the bible says gossiping is bad. I was surprised that the bible actually talks about such ordinary things like gossiping! Jen Nee and I decided that the next time Sunny talks bad about someone, we should just try to change the subject and not participate even if it's tempting.

Love, Pei Yi

Sunday 5 April
(2
pm)

Dearest Mei Yee

Everyone is at Sentosa Island. I'm in my room.

I found an old copy of
Teens
in someone's wastepaper basket so I took it. What do you think of being a cover girl? I think they're very lucky.

My chicken pox has become worse. Yucks (10x)! It makes my body look like a toad—disgusting!! I hate chicken pox!!! My whole body is full of yucky spots. They itch and hurt a bit when touched. Scratch, scratch, scratch. Can't imagine how Jen Nee could be so happy when she was having chicken pox.

I've plenty of time so I'm reading
Teens,
Christopher Pike's
Final Friends I,
and
The Fine Art of Flirting.

My chicken pox is so yucky, itchy and uncomfortable! It's 8.10 pm and I'm feeling lonely and miserable.

Love, Pei Yi

Monday 6 April
(Hari Raya hol
—
only a day!)

Dearest Mei Yee

My chicken pox has become even WORSE! My God, I'm so horrified with myself. I can't stand this kind of thing and now it's spreading all over me!

My dad is here. He left BM last night and reached Singapore in the morning.

I was so itchy yesterday. At night I was afraid that I'll see ghosts 'coz you told me that we can see them if we're sick. So I didn't dare to open my eyes. My stupid chicken pox is really very severe! I hope tomorrow it doesn't get worse! Oh please God, help me now, I'm suffering!

Cried 'coz I was afraid my chicken pox would get worse and worse till none of my skin can be seen anymore.

Love, Pei Yi

Wednesday 8 April
(6.30 pm)

Dearest Mei Yee

Hi! Wow it's been four months since I first came to Singapore! It doesn't seem that long. I used to cry and cry during the first month! I hardly cry now. The last time I cried was when I found out 'bout the makeover and a few days ago when I was so afraid the chicken pox would keep spreading until I have no skin left visible.

Well, my chicken pox is still bad but not that itchy anymore. I think I'm going to have a lot of scars on my back. I estimate there are 800 spots on my body. No, maybe 500.

Usually, people who get chicken pox in my hostel will go back but this year, Jen Nee and I didn't. Jen Nee said that Sunny said that Alisa said that Jen Nee and I are inconsiderate 'coz we stayed here with chicken pox. They can hate me, I don't care. I'm fed up with hearing “They shouldn't stay here”, “They will spread it to everyone”, “Why don't they go back?”!

I feel very grateful to Jen Nee and Sunny for caring for and helping me while I had chicken pox. Especially Jen Nee. Why is she such a nice girl? Jen Nee was enjoying herself reading and lazing around when she was ill. I couldn't enjoy myself 'coz I felt quite sick, but now I feel quite OK. I hope I'll fully recover soon. My case is a lot worse than Jen Nee's. I thought of phoning you tonight but I can't leave my room.

I've read
The Prom Queen, Falling Into Darkness
and I'm now reading
Final Friends II
by Christopher Pike. He's a very good author!

I'm missing school and what is being taught. I like Maths period best. What about you? I dislike PE. I like Malay period too, not 'coz of the teacher but 'coz I sit with Jen Nee.

These few days, I haven't been doing much 'coz I wasn't feeling too good. I heard a lot of nice songs on the radio though. I listened to “I Love Your Smile”. Actually I heard it sometime ago but I didn't know it was that song. I like these songs (I'm not really sure 'bout the titles), do tell me whether you like them, if you know them:

1  “Crying”

2  “I'll Be There”

3  “If You Go Away”

4  “Heal the World” (Michael Jackson)

5  “Beauty and the Beast” (Celine Dion and Peabo Bryson)

6  “What Becomes of a Broken Heart”

7  “Masterpiece”

8  “The First Time”

9  “Heaven”

10  “Heal the Pain”

11  “When You Tell Me That You Love Me” (Diana Ross)

Anyway, I no longer like Niles.

The guys who are quite nice are: Cheng Hoe, Matt. The others I seldom talk to but they're also nice. Actually I hardly talk to guys.

It's now 7.10 pm. Jen Nee just brought my porridge. Tasteless porridge—yucks. So unappetizing. Luckily Sunny bought chicken rice for me for lunch and Jen Nee bought me a ham roll. I think I better eat my porridge now.

Waiting for your letter.

Love, Pei Yi

Thursday 9 April

Dear Mei Yee

My dad came this morning. He went back in the afternoon. He really cares so much for me. I miss family life. Especially after being in this room for seven (?) days.

Physics is driving me crazy. I missed the lesson on action–reaction (Newton's Third Law) so I read it myself. I don't really understand it. I mean, if you push a block of wood and the wood pushes back (equal reaction) why would it move? If everything has a reaction force how can anything move anything. My mid-year exam is in May. My mind has gone rusty this week—I haven't done anything except read storybooks. I can't bear missing lessons being taught in school!!

Being cooped up in my room for so many days makes me lonely and sad. I sort of miss life in BM. Sometimes I feel so alone in this world. Have you ever felt that? You know, you're lucky to live with your family. At times like this (when I'm feeling alone) I miss them. Sometimes I wonder what life is all about. Going to school, trying to excel, study, study, study, study, graduate, have a career, get married, have children, grow old, die.

My plans when I recover:

1  Be more awake in the morning—sleep at the right time

2  Utilize time—study hard and read books

3  Borrow and read books from the library

4  Exercise and diet well

5  Socialize, be a nicer person

Friday 10 April

Dearest Mei Yee

I just got up and it's 12.20pm! I slept late (2.30 am) reading
Final Friends III,
the last in the series. I read the romantic parts again and again. They're not dirty at all, but they seem so sweet, so romantic, and I feel so touched. Just now, I dreamt that I was home and Niles phoned and said he and a few others were coming to my house to watch a video. Then he stayed longer than the others. A nice dream. I also dreamt, Niles told me he used to have a crush on Brad!! And I said, “Me too!”

And I couldn't wait to tell you 'bout him and me, but it turned out to be a dream. I WANT Niles. I don't know why I never get over him.

You know, the guys in Christopher P's books make me think of Niles. After reading his books, I'll think of him. Now I'm craving for a guy-friend but I'm stuck in my room. I feel so bored.

Love, Pei Yi

Saturday 11 April

Dear Mei Yee

I'm feeling very lonely and sad. I wish you're here 'coz then I wouldn't be bored or lonely. I'm afraid of loneliness. I mean, what if I grow up, don't know many people, don't get married and end up very lonely? I wish I'd gone home when I first had chicken pox. At least I would have had my family close by and I could have gone for walks or something—anything would be better than being in a room. My social life is now ZERO. I'm totally bored with my life. God, what is happening to me?

I'm now reading a horror book, The
Bad Place.
Don't understand what they're saying. Can't stand it—why do they have to write it so hard and complicated when an easy way can be used? What books have you read recently?

How's your life? What have you been doing, what's been happening? Bet it's not half as boring as mine. Can't stand it—I didn't receive a single letter since last week or maybe longer still. Hate eating porridge.

Love, Pei Yi

Dear Mei Yee

Hi! Jen Nee has two things in common with you—her pens can't write and she slips all these pieces of paper between books.

Yesterday I broke my biggest chicken pox on my leg accidentally! I think I'm going to be scarred a lot!

Your letter was very funny. My God! Your uncle is SO rich! I can't stand it. S$1000 for a pair of ugly red swimming trunks!? S$230 for breakfast?! Are the hotel people crazy? How can you stand it? It strikes me as very terrible that there're people suffering somewhere in the world but not far away, there're people spending money like it's nothing! You're SO lucky to stay in Mutiara Hotel! I feel sorry for your uncle too. He's so kind and generous. Aargh! I can't stand money being wasted on women and gambling. And I can't stand it when people are taken advantage of 'coz of their generosity.

My God, why do you keep feeling inferior?! I think you're very lucky 'coz everywhere you go, people, I mean guys, will look at you or want to know you.

While you were enjoying yourself in Mutiara, I was suffering here with chicken pox!

I've finished
The Bad Place.
It turned out to be REALLY great. I really admire the author. He can really make me feel when I read it. For example when he was describing Thomas, the poor man with Down Syndrome, I felt the way Thomas thinks is so cute and he's so pitiful. This is the first thick novel I've read.

Well, hope to hear from you soon! Ciao!

Love, Pei Yi

Thursday 16 April

Dear Mei Yee

Hi! I've just posted a letter to you but here I am, writing another one! I feel like I'm talking to you when I'm writing—that's why I like to write. Yesterday, I came out of my room for the first time since chicken pox to play badminton outside Block A. I love badminton. I played again this morning.

Why is it, I wonder, that girls are called
hiau
and cheap but if guys fool around, they're considered, “wow, playboy, conquer so many …” and never
hiau.
You know we used to call PFS (Penang Free School) “Panties For Sale”? Well, Jen Nee calls it “Penang's Faggot School” (faggots are homosexuals).

Love, Pei Yi

Sunday 19 April

Hi Mei Yee!

I'm so happy to be well again! I went to McD for lunch with Jen Nee and Sunny. Cheeseburgers only 88c.

You know, since coming here, I've become different in the sense that now I care 'bout my studies. Last time I didn't care about exam marks. Now I do, a lot. And Jen Nee is like the old me—she doesn't study. She's always wasting her time. But she still does well in school. She only studies when there're tests. I keep feeling pressured to be clever. The environment here is nice for studying.

Love, Pei Yi