My Kind of Wonderful (18 page)

W
hen Hud pulled back, Bailey let out a breath. “I always forget things when you do that,” she said.

Hud had his forearms flat on the wall on either side of her face and let his fingers cup her head. She was wearing a sky-blue ski cap today. The cap was rolled up at the edges, allowing him to see her new, thin strawberry-blond wisps—a few inches long now—that were starting to frame her face.

The sight of them brought an ache to his chest so strong he couldn’t breathe for a moment.

“I really didn’t mean to be talking about you with your mom,” she said. “But she was confused.”

“She’s getting lost,” he said. “Lost to all of us and she’s right here.”

Her eyes held a well of empathy. “She was telling me stories about you,” she said. “Good stories. Stories that made me…” She shook her head.

“Made you what?” he asked, tilting her face up to his.

She stared into his eyes and then dropped her gaze
to his mouth before nibbling on her own. Unable to stop himself, he bent his head and brushed his lips over hers. “Made you what?” he asked again.

“You know what,” she whispered, clinging to him.

Yeah. He figured he did. His mom had a way of making him look like some damn hero when he wasn’t. Not even close. “You can’t believe everything she says,” he reminded her. “She gets a lot of things mixed up.”

Bailey shook her head. “No. She
never
gets mixed up on how much she loves her boys. You’re her life, Hud. She’s quite clear on that. And I’m glad you’re not mad at me, but you are…
something
at me—” She broke off when her phone buzzed.

She turned away slightly to answer the call and he thought about what she said. He was
something
all right. Although what that something was couldn’t be easily defined.

Unsettled?

Yeah, that was it. She was visiting his mom, which felt a whole lot… intimate. When had they gotten intimate?

After you stripped her naked and licked her up and down like a lollipop…

The memory of each and every time he’d had her in his arms burned bright in his brain, and he spent way too much time bringing out the memories to replay them in his head. Hud couldn’t erase thoughts of the way she opened up to him and gave him everything she had. And she did so with a heart-stopping generosity and vulnerability that slayed him even now.

Still, by her own decree, those times had been just that. No strings attached. He was damn lucky enough that she wasn’t finished with him yet, and he was just selfish enough to take what he could get from her.

Bailey disconnected her call and slid her phone away. There was an odd stillness to her and her shoulders seemed to carry far too much weight. Reaching out, he turned her to him.

She was pale, too pale, and her eyes shimmered brilliantly from unshed tears. His heart dropped to his toes. “What is it?”

She shook her head and tried to turn away again but he held her firm. “Hey,” he said. “Talk to me.”

Taking a shuddery inhale, she pressed her fingers to her mouth. “I’m still clear,” she whispered. “I had all those tests last Friday and the results are still clear. It was a milestone. Three straight months. On top of the first three months this makes six. I’m done with chemo, radiation, all of it. Really done.”

At the words, a knot loosened in his chest, one he hadn’t even realized he’d had. “That’s the best news I’ve had in a long time,” he said, and reached for her.

She sagged into him and cuddled in tight, wrapping her arms around his waist and pressing her face into his chest with a shudder. In return he closed his eyes and just held her, absorbing the overwhelming relief coursing through him. This amazing, warm, irresistible, irreplaceable woman was okay. She was going to stay okay.

That’s when he realized she was trembling. He pulled back slightly to look into her face.

She shook her head. “Don’t ask me—”

“What aren’t you telling me?”

“Nothing, I just—” She shook her head again. “The call came from my mom. The doctor’s office called and since I wasn’t there, she gave the message to my mom.”

“They’re not supposed to do that,” he said.

“I’d given permission for my mom to get any information regarding my care and treatment and condition,” she said. “This is good news, it’s
great
news, but my mom said…”

“What?” Hud asked a little tightly, already not liking what was coming next. If that woman had taken away the joy of this moment, he was going to have to strangle her.

“She just wanted to remind me that I’m still in the danger zone.”

Yeah, he was going to have to strangle her.

“And it kinda just sucked a little bit of the joy out of it.” She sniffed and swiped at a tear like she was mad to find herself crying. “Three months ago I got the first clear I’ve ever had and to get it again now… It’s a great sign,” she said.

“It’s a hell of a sign. And you’re going to keep getting clear results. You have to.” He smiled. “There’s no other option.”

At that, she gave him a tremulous smile in return. “Thank you.”

“For what? You’re the one who’s amazing,” he said.

“For believing in me.”

Like a punch to the gut. He didn’t break eye contact as he pulled her back in. “Always,” he whispered.

“You’re so lucky,” she said, cheek to his chest. “Don’t get me wrong. I love my mom. I do,” she said, “but I don’t have the kind of bond with her that you have with your family—” She stopped abruptly when her voice broke.

Ah, hell. “Bailey,” he breathed, dropping his forehead to hers, tightening his grip on her, and stroking her back when she let out a shuddery sigh.

“It’s okay,” she whispered. “I’m okay.”

“I know,” he said, and kept hold of her.

“It’s just that the weekends are becoming so much
more real to me than the rest of the week.” She pressed her face into his throat. “And so much more important.”

He tried not to react to that. Part of what had allowed him to let her in as much as he had was the hard reality that being here in Cedar Ridge wasn’t her life and never would be. Harsh as it sounded, it’d made her safe.

But if she turned that upside down, if she stayed, he wasn’t sure what could possibly happen. He didn’t have the room in his life—or his heart—for one more string.

He had too many strings now.

“I’m just so grateful for this second chance,” she said. “So damn grateful. I want to make good use out of it, but it’s hard because I don’t know who I am or who I’m supposed to be.” She lifted her head and stared at him. “I made that list thinking it’d give me direction, but instead all it has done is confuse me. I don’t want to be just the list, you know?”

“You’re not,” he said firmly. “You’re a beautiful, smart, wonderful, warm woman who brings heart and soul into the lives of everyone you meet. You’re not the list at all. You’re far more.”

She pulled it out of her pocket, that damn little notebook. “I made a promise to this thing.”

“That’s fine,” Hud said. “But that doesn’t mean it gets to define your life.
You
get to do that, Bailey. Only you.”

She stared at him and nodded. “Yes, you’re right.”

He cocked his head as if he couldn’t hear her. “What was that?”

“You’re right.” She gave him a little push and he had to laugh.

“I heard you the first time,” he admitted. “I just like the way that sentence sounds on your tongue.”

She rolled her eyes. And then blinked. “Oh! I nearly forgot the reason I’m here tonight.” She pulled his phone from another pocket. “Gray’s the one who told me I could find you here.”

Hudson grimaced. “You saw Gray?”

“Yes, I went to the resort first,” she said. “To bring you the phone.”

As she said it, his phone buzzed an incoming call. He took it from her and looked at the screen. Gray. Might as well get it over with, he thought, and answered.

“You should probably stay off Facebook,” Gray suggested, and disconnected.

The phone immediately buzzed again. He answered with a curt, “
What?
”

“Check out Facebook,” Kenna said gleefully.

“Delete it,” Hud said. “Whatever you dumbasses have done, delete it or I’ll find you and it won’t be pretty.” He disconnected and stared at Bailey.

“Um.” She blinked. “Problem?”

“You told Gray I lost my phone?”

“No, I told him I got it by accident,” she said, and then paused. “What’s going on? Who was that?”

He was scrolling through Facebook. “Gray,” he said, distracted. “And then Kenna.”

“You threatened your sister?”

Hudson looked at her. She was shocked and horrified. “You don’t have a sister,” he said.

“No. No siblings period, you know that.”

“Which means you wouldn’t understand the occasional need to strangle someone who shares your own blood.
Shit
,” he muttered. “Here it is.”

“What?”

“What Gray and Kenna are so gleeful about.” He turned his phone screen so she could see. He had the Cedar Ridge Resort’s Facebook page up. There was a post there from Hud.

“I didn’t know you posted on Facebook,” she said.

“I don’t,” he said. “Ever. Gray went on as me.”

She started to read it.

“Out loud,” he said.

“Okay.” She turned the phone to a better angle. “‘Did you see
Dancing with the Stars
last night?’” she read. “‘The dancers were so beautiful it brought a tear to my eye… ’” She stopped and stared up at him, and then laughed.

“You think this is funny?” he asked. “You gave Gray access to my phone and he’s a dick.”

“And you’re upset that people will think you love
Dancing with the Stars
?”

“I’ve never watched a single second of that show,” he said stiffly. He’d cop to
Say Yes to the Dress,
but not this. No way. “And that’s not my point,” he said. “He’s just screwing with me. And
that’s
the point.”

She bit her lower lip.

He narrowed his eyes and considered retribution. Because there
would
be retribution. “The messee is about to become the messor,” he said.

“Was that in English?”

“You’re going back to Denver tonight?” he asked instead of answering her question.

“Yes.”

“Maybe you have time to pick something up for me.”

“Sure,” she said. “What?”

“Just a little something for Gray.” He pulled out a credit card and gave it to her. “Something special. I’m thinking sheer lace. A woman’s extra-large.”

She blinked.

He smiled.

And then so did she. “You want to get back at him for the Choking Hazard briefs.”

“No, that was Aidan,” he said. “Gray deserves worse. Much worse.”

“Is it just me, or do you Kincaids spend most of your waking days trying to mess each other up?” she asked.

“Yeah,” he said. “And?”

She laughed and slipped his card into her purse. “Nothing. Will do.”

He walked her outside, where they both stared up at the dark night sky, from which heavy lines of white were falling to the ground in eerie silence.

Snow. Dumping snow. So fast it had already accumulated several inches.

“That wasn’t supposed to hit until midnight,” she said at his side, her voice sounding a little small.

“There’s something else that wasn’t in the forecast,” he said.

“What?”

He reached for her gloveless hand and tugged her into him, wrapping her shivering figure in close. “The fact that you’re not going home tonight.”

H
ud watched as Bailey gave him a long considering look.

“You’re supposed to ask a woman to stay with you, not tell,” she said.

“And normally I would ask,” he said. Maybe. “But you’re not taking your car over the summit in this.” He tugged her in a little closer because she seemed more than a little pale—except for her nose, which was bright red. Leaning in, he kissed her cold lips until she relaxed into him.

“Not fair,” she whispered, slipping her frozen arms under his clothing to touch her even-more-frozen fingers on the bare skin at the small of his back.

He grimaced. “Holy shit, woman.”

“My parts are cold.” She paused. “Some more than others.”

He manfully sucked it up and let her fingers stroke up and down his back. “Can’t have you suffering from cold parts,” he said. “I’ve got a hot shower and an even hotter bed only ten minutes from here.”

“Hotter bed?”

“It’s got a heater in it.”

She narrowed her eyes. “It does not.”

“Hand to heaven,” he said.

She narrowed her eyes. “Does this ‘heater’ run on electricity?”

“Nope.” He grinned. “Animal magnetism.” He rubbed his hands up and down her arms and met her gaze, his amusement gone. “I’m serious about the roads, Bay. I want you to stay. If you’d rather, I’ll call and see if there’s any employment housing open tonight. Or you can have my place and I’ll bunk with Aidan. No pressure.”

She touched his face lightly. “I wouldn’t mind a little… pressure.”

He smiled and turned his face to press a kiss to her palm. “Come home with me. I’ve got all the pressure you’ll need.”

They’d just gotten into Hud’s truck when Hud took a call on his Bluetooth. Bailey could hear Gray’s voice, tinny, through the phone.

“Alarm just went off at the cafeteria,” he said. “I’m two hours out, in Denver with Penny at some fancy dinner for her work.”

“On it,” Hudson said. He hung up and sent Bailey an apologetic look. “I’ve got to go check this out. I’ll drop you off at my place—”

“Just go straight there,” she said. “It’ll be faster.”

When he started to shake his head, she put her hand on his arm. “You don’t have time to deal with or worry about me, so just get there. I’ll stay out of the way.”

In the end, he dropped her off in the resort offices,
refusing to leave her in the dark in his truck because she would be alone in the parking lot.

Lily was in the office as well, having been similarly dropped off by Aidan. They sat at Hud’s desk in front of the radio and listened unabashedly.

Two local high school kids had broken into the resort’s cafeteria and set off the alarm. Surveillance cameras showed them carrying fistfuls of candy bars out of there with their snowboards strapped on their backs.

“High as kites,” Lily guessed, shaking her head. “Going to be a long night.” She helped herself in the supply closet, coming out with a bottle of Jack.

Bailey went brows up.

“I’ve had a long day,” Lily explained. “And now our significant others are on the mountain in the dark looking for two walking DUIs.” She stuck her head into another closet and came up with Dixie cups.

“What happened today?” Bailey asked as Lily poured them each a drink. “I mean, if it’s not too personal.”

“Oh, it’s personal.” Lily tapped her cup to Bailey’s. “It’s also a long story. Drink first.”

They each drank and Bailey promptly choked.

Lily too. “Holy shit,” she wheezed.

Bailey nearly coughed up a lung and pounded her chest.

When they could breathe, Lily spoke. “So I had a… scare,” she said.

Bailey involuntarily gasped and clasped a hand to her heart because a scare to her meant a health scare, a bad one.

“Oh no,” Lily rushed on when she saw Bailey’s reaction. “Oh, my God, I’m so insensitive! No, nothing like
that!” She grimaced and then rolled her eyes. “It’s just that I thought maybe I was pregnant. Accidentally.”

“Oh,” Bailey breathed. With all the treatments she’d had over the past ten years, she wasn’t at all sure she’d be able to have babies, though she wanted them. Someday. She didn’t feel her biological clock ticking or anything, but when she pictured her future—which was something she actually did now, and often—she liked to think there was a man in it, one who’d promised to love her forever. And a baby. Or three. “I see.”

“No,” Lily said. “I don’t think you do.” She paused. “Aidan and I aren’t married. We’re not quite there yet. I mean I know he’s the one for me and I know I’m the one for him, but we aren’t rushing anything, you know? There’s no need to rush. I was never the woman who dreamed about babies, or a husband. I just…” She shook her head. “I always buried myself in work and never went there. Now I’m not buried in work and I’m… enjoying us. A lot. I like being a twosome. A tight little unit, just us.” She paused and then laughed. “Well, us and the rest of the Kincaids.” Her smile faded. “But then I didn’t get my period and I got scared.” She let out a breath. “More like terrified.”

“Did you tell Aidan?” Bailey asked.

“I did.” Lily shook her head. “I was so upset. Cried all over him and he was…” She shook her head.

“Mad?” Bailey whispered, unable to picture Aidan—who she’d seen looking at Lily like she was his entire universe—mad at Lily for anything.

Lily shook her head. “Happy,” she whispered back. Her eyes glistened. “So happy.” She smiled. “God, he’s amazing. He calmed me down. And somehow it just happened. I got on board. By the time I bought the stick to
pee on this morning, I was convinced I was preggers and already in love with our baby.” Her smile faded. “But I got my period on the way home from the store.”

“Oh, Lily,” Bailey breathed, reaching out to squeeze her hand. “I’m sorry.”

Lily lifted a shoulder. “It’s silly. I mean how can you miss something you never really had in the first place?”

“It’s not silly,” Bailey insisted. “When the time is right, you’ll make a great mom.”

Lily sniffed. “Thanks. Now tell me about your day.”

“I got my second all clear from my doctor today,” Bailey said softly, not used to being able to share good news. For so long the news was always bad. People would ask her how things were going and she never knew what to say because there was nothing worse than saying the truth and having to bum people out. “It’s a milestone. A six-month milestone.”

Lily squeaked and grabbed her, giving her a big bear hug. “That’s wonderful!
Now
we have something to toast to. Another single? Or should we make it a double this time?”

“Um…”

“Double it is.” Lily carefully filled their cups to the brim. “To today’s all clear and many more.” Once again they tapped their paper cups together and drank.

“Holy crap,” Bailey gasped, and proceeded to cough up her second lung.

Lily snorted hers out her nose and they both starting laughing.

“I was trying to be cool,” Lily said, swiping a hand over her face. “But seriously, how does anyone drink this stuff?”

“No idea,” Bailey said in a hoarse whisper, having
burned her vocal cords down to nubs. “Maybe we need to drink it faster.”

“You think? Let’s try that.” Lily poured them each another shot and lifted her cup. “What are we drinking to now?”

“To you peeing on a stick and getting the positive sign real soon,” Bailey said.

Lily smiled and they both tossed back and… once again choked.

“Jesus,” Lily managed, and pushed the Jack away. “I don’t think there’s a good way to do that.”

Bailey swiped her eyes and nose. Since she still couldn’t talk, she shook her head. And anyway, she didn’t need any more. The alcohol had burned a warm path to her belly and she was feeling… damn good. She smiled. “I like the aftereffect though.”

Lily grinned back. “You’re all blurry. Like, there’s kinda two of you, and also kinda none of you at the same time.” She closed one eye and then the other. “Nope, there’s
three
of you!”

Bailey snorted. “Does Aidan drink this stuff?”

“Yeah, once in a while he and the others drink together after a long day on the job.”

“Do they have a lot of long days?” Bailey asked, already knowing the answer. The Kincaids played hard and worked even harder.

“They’re good guys,” Lily said. “Which you already know. Take Hud, for instance.”

Bailey tried not to look fascinated and nearly fell off the desk.

Lily grinned. “Or maybe you’ve already
taken
Hud…” She tried to waggle a brow and went cross-eyed instead.

Bailey laughed. “Do you have a point?”

“I do,” Lily said. “But the alcohol is making it hard to keep on point. Where was I…? Oh yes! You and Hud. He’s a rock, you know. When he loves you, he’s in one hundred percent. His brothers and sister. His mom. Me and Penny. He’s in all the way and never wavers. And the same with this mountain, this resort, and every other thing in his entire life. He’s loyal and smart, and”—Lily pointed at Bailey and nearly poked out her eye—“he’s also hotter than sin on a stick.”

Bailey blinked. “What does sin on a stick look like?”

Lily paused, her forehead wrinkled in deep thought. “Hud?”

Bailey laughed. “Not Aidan?”

“Yes but see, Aidan is
my
sin on a stick.”

The radio crackled and then Hud’s voice came on, calm and sure. “Got one of them. Need assistance. Over.”

Both Bailey and Lily gasped and leaned into the radio.

“Two minutes out,” came Aidan’s reply, also calm and sure. “Do we need to call the police? Over.”

“I am the police,” Hud responded. “This one’s taking himself on a joyride in the terrain park. He’s about three-quarters of the way down the run. I’ve got eyes on him from the bottom and I’m watching him hotdog it while holding lit sparklers in each hand, having a party of one. No visual on the other. Over.”

“I’ll go to the top,” Aidan said. “Maybe he’s still up there. Over.”

Two minutes later, Hud was back on the radio. “Got idiot number one,” he said, sounding slightly strained. “He says idiot number two crashed and needs assistance. Heads up, idiot number one’s impaired and was combative. Over.”

“Was?” came Aidan’s voice.

“He came around to my way of thinking. Over.”

Lily and Bailey stared at each other. Lily poured them each another shot.

“What’s this one for?” Bailey asked in a stage whisper, although who she thought was listening, she had no idea.

“If you’re going to love one of the Kincaids, you should know, sometimes alcohol is necessary.”

Bailey blinked. “Who said I was going to love one of the Kincaids?”

“It’s all over your face.” Lily knocked her cup to Bailey’s. “It’s okay, honey. They’re worth it. They’re worth every second of this crazy, topsy-turvy, wonderful ride.”

Bailey drank to that. Was she going to love him?

You already do
, a very small voice whispered, way, way, way back in the depths of her brain. No, make that her heart. Her brain most definitely hadn’t caught up yet.

And how could it? Her heart and brain had never, not once,
both
been in love. She’d never really been a whole person.

Hud was most definitely a whole person. He had a very full life of his own making. But her life wasn’t full at all and never had been. She was starting to get that
that
was what her list had really been about. “You’re easy to talk to,” she told Lily.

“It’s the alcohol.”

“No, I mean it,” Bailey said. “This is nice for me. I don’t have a lot of close friends.” She never had, because she’d never been a part of any sort of normal life, nothing even close. And she’d seen what her mom and Aaron had gone through, preparing themselves for her death. She’d never been able to bring herself to get close to people just to cause them pain.

Lily reached out and squeezed her hand, seeming to understand without having to be told. “I’m always here. And since I’m relatively new to being back in Cedar Ridge, I’d be thrilled to consider you a good friend.”

Bailey might have embarrassed herself by getting choked up, but the radio squawked.

“Need backup,” came Aidan’s voice on the radio. “Handcuff your idiot to a rail and come to me one hundred yards to the west. Over.”

“Ten-four,” was all Hudson said.

Ten minutes later, Hudson’s voice came over the radio again. “In sight. Over.”

“Confirm visual,” Aidan said.

“I see a guy hanging off the rails by his homeboy boarder pants,” Hud said. “Which are hooked on his ankle, his credentials dangling in the breeze. He’s yelling something about losing his sparklers and suing us. Over.”

Lily and Bailey gaped at each other.

“That’s him.” Aidan’s cool, calm voice had a sliver of humor in it. “I just thought you’d want to see this. Kinda makes the past hour worth it.”

“Kinda does,” Hud agreed.

And then five minutes later came Hud’s voice: “Who the hell goes snowboarding commando?”

“This guy apparently,” Aidan said. “And you’re not the one standing beneath him. Every time he moves I get to meet Jim and the twins all over again.”

Inside the warm office both Lily and Bailey snorted and choked on their shocked laughter.

Thirty minutes later their two men walked into the offices.

“The menfolk returning home from the hunt to collect
their women,” Lily whispered to Bailey and giggled. She covered her mouth with her hand.

Bailey grinned too. She was absolutely drunk. But then she got a good look at Hudson’s beautiful face and the black eye, and her grin faded.