My Life As a Medium (16 page)

Mind dowsing can be used for a number of things, but the greatest benefit is when you are aware that someone is helping you. This, of course, can only be judged by results, but it is worthwhile using this method to ask questions that you are unable to answer yourself. You will be surprised at the answers you receive. This can happen in several ways. If you ask a question before going to sleep, it is more than likely that you will wake with the answer in the morning. Or an answer will come into your mind so powerfully that you can almost see it. One young lady I knew used the pockets of a shoe holder to ‘post’ her questions, then ran her hands over it and asked for help. At odd times during the day she told me she could feel the answers being slotted into her mind. This practice gradually gave her the confidence to take responsibility for her own life. She had been too dependent on others, and this had caused her great unhappiness.

Whatever method you use, make it a regular habit, because sooner or later a spiritual helper will become aware of your need and you will receive help.

It is also an admirable way of becoming independent, and that will also give you the freedom of thought, word and deed.

There can be nothing worse than total dependency, as this eventually leads to mental and physical anguish. I know, because I have too often seen the results. People very often give up and lean on others because it is the easy way out, but in the end, their paths are far from easy. If you start now, I think you will be surprised at the happiness and success you can achieve.

Dependency! I had no idea when I began healing how many people suffered from the effects of this problem. The ailments ranged from simple headaches to life-threatening diseases. Suicide was often mentioned as the only way out. Parents who doted on their offspring often left them unable to think for themselves. Married women found themselves in an unenviable position when their partners died, unable to sort out insurance claims or even complete a simple task like filling their car with petrol. It was worse for the couples who had locked everyone out of their lives and lived only for each other. When their partner died it was a total catastrophe; they were left with no friends or family to comfort them. Men who had been totally reliant on partners found it impossible to function alone, and in some cases, complicated their lives by marrying again only to find out that the wrong kind of marriage can lead to even worse disasters. And parents can be bitterly disappointed when they find that they are becoming a burden to their children.

The majority of the people who visited me with these problems were helped through survival evidence, clairvoyance and healing, but I always insisted that they thought about the situation for some time before making a decision for their future. And it had to be their decision. There was no point in ridding themselves of one kind of dependency and acquiring another. The following are some of the cases that I was involved with.

Maxine had been happily married for thirty-six years, and had enjoyed a luxurious lifestyle throughout that time. Her every wish was granted.

Her husband died suddenly of a heart attack, and in the ensuing year she lost everything. When she came to see me she was on the verge of suicide. Then her husband contacted me and gave her this message.

‘I love you, Maxine. I always will, and I am so sorry for the predicament in which you now find yourself. Although I tried to protect you I never thought that you might be left alone, and now it has happened I can only help you from afar. I can see now that I have done you a great injustice. I will find you somewhere to live, and then you must use your own in-built survival kit.’ ’

Maxine asked me what he meant by the last remark. I told her that the only personal survival kit that I knew of was the mind.

I gave her healing and, as I did so, I had a vision of a small village street, and halfway up the street, I saw a small house. Then I was shown the interior of this small house. I described what I could see, and she asked me if the village had a name. I could not give her this then, but later in the healing I was given the name, and passed it on. I told her that I thought it was her husband who was projecting these pictures to me.

Three weeks later Maxine visited me again. She told me that she hadn’t been able to locate that particular house but had loved the village, which was only about six miles from where she lived.

Her home had already been sold, and she was waiting to have a meeting with her husband’s accountants. At this time she had no idea what she was worth.

Six months later, Maxine was able to look at the houses available in the village and bought the one whose interior matched the description I had given her.

When I last saw her she was working as a photographer’s assistant. She was loving every minute of it, and told me that for the first time in her life, she felt fulfilled.

The transformation in all those who eventually chose to take responsibility for their lives was a sight to behold. Their eyes shone, they looked like the free spirits they were, and one could feel the happiness
they exuded. None of them had an easy transition, but they were determined to achieve the independence they so desired, and they won.

Leela was eighteen years old. Her parents had protected her all her life, never allowing her to go out alone or with other girls of her own age. Her mother first brought her to me for healing, because she had injured her foot whilst walking. Whenever I asked Leela a question, her mother would answer it for her. In fact the girl did not even try to answer, as she obviously thought the effort would be wasted. I felt the frustration within her, but could do nothing in her mother’s presence. However, the following week she came alone, and I was able to talk to her for some time. She was very intelligent, and confided that she was at a loss as to know how to handle her mother. ‘I don’t think she believes I have a mind of my own,’ she said.

Whilst she was speaking, her late grandmother contacted me. After checking whether Leela would be happy to receive survival evidence, I passed on the message.

‘Your mother has never changed. She was just the same when she was your age. I loved her dearly, but spent most of my life opposing her. She has to be in control all the time and you must put your foot down – in fact you should have done so a long time ago.’ Leela’s grandmother then gave her many family names, past
and present, and talked about the problems that some of them were experiencing at that moment. She finished by telling the young woman that she must insist on having a life of her own. Leela told me that this would be very difficult; her father backed her mother all the way, for his own peace of mind.

However, the message from her grandmother had given Leela so much strength that her mother finally gave in and allowed her more freedom. It was to be two years before her mother refrained from interfering in her conversations, but she won in the end.

I think this story is a salutary lesson for possessive parents. Although they mean well, their actions can cause a great deal of harm. Learning to let go is difficult, but it’s a lesson we all have to learn. We all have to let go in differing circumstances throughout our lives.

Barbara had been having an affair with a married man for twelve years. From the beginning, she had begged him to tell his wife so that Barbara would not, as she put it, ‘be crawling behind bushes all my life’. He refused, making his children the excuse for not owning up. Barbara told me that although she was still very much in love with the man, she had told him their relationship was over. Since then, he had pestered her at home and at work, sending
flowers daily, and making threats of suicide if she did not return to him.

She had been receiving healing from me for four weeks. During that time we had talked about the problems that they both faced. Her lover was obviously more dependent on her than she had realized. But as he still maintained that he could not leave his wife, Barbara had no choice but to seek a life elsewhere, and although she had come to terms with this fact, she still worried that she would cause his suicide. Then her late father contacted her through me.

‘You deserve better,’ he told her.

Barbara burst into tears. ‘Tell her she must go to Tilly,’ he said.

‘Tilly lives in Austria,’ Barbara replied. ‘I can’t live there.’

Her father spoke again. ‘Move right away. It’s the only solution.’

He then talked to her about her family, and finished with the words, ‘Don’t contact him ever again.’

Barbara was beside herself, and asked how she could possibly live in Austria. I suggested that her father was probably trying to point out that it would be a good idea for her to move away for a time. It was patently obvious that her lover would never leave her alone.

Later, I heard that she had gone to Austria for a holiday, had fallen in love and married a friend of Tilly’s, and had made her home in that country.

Her lover, on the other hand, became seriously depressed and his wife left him, taking the children with her.

Although others may judge those who indulge in extra-marital affairs, it is, nevertheless, a kind of marriage, and letting go can be very distressing to both parties. If there is a dependency problem on either side, the only cure is for one of them to move away.

I first became aware that as a medium and healer I had no right to judge others when, during a particularly draining time listening to a wife slandering her husband, I began to feel desperately sorry for the husband. My thoughts were immediately interrupted by a voice saying, ‘Judge not, lest ye be judged.’

Later, when I looked at my own life, I realized that one cannot and should not judge others. No one can ever know the full story of why we take certain actions in our lives. Outsiders can only see the effect they have but, in practically every case, there are extenuating circumstances. In my own life and in my work I have seen and heard the inside stories, and some of them are truly mind-shattering. Very often it is the guilty party who receives the most sympathy. It is better to put everything behind you and begin again, but this is hard especially when memories come crowding in when you least expect them.

Life is not easy, and there are no quick answers to all the problems we have to face. But I do believe that spirituality gives us the strength to carry on, and the knowledge that our loved ones still live – and try to
contact us from time to time with messages of love and hope – sustains us when things are bad.

Everyone too, has a spiritual minder, but this does not necessarily mean that they will help you over every hurdle. The more hurdles we are seen to jump by ourselves, the more help we will receive when the matter is truly urgent. It is all a question of progression, and of showing how much spiritual stamina we have.

I have spoken to hundreds of people who are approaching old age, and they have stories to tell which are fascinating. Some of them are also heartrending, especially when they talk about the way their lives have been changed because they can no longer look after themselves. The happiest are those who have been given small flats with wardens to attend to them if they are ill. The unhappiest are those who, for one reason or another, have to live with their children. No matter how much love there is in the family, they hate the dependency. I do not think town planners give enough thought to warden-operated flats. There should be more of them, especially as people are now living well into their eighties and nineties.

The next story is of one such person.

Nell was a sprightly eighty-eight-year-old great-grandmother. Her daughter brought her to me as she was suffering from severe arthritis. They argued all through the healing and eventually I asked them to stop. Then Nell’s late husband
contacted me, and said, ‘Will you tell them that I love them both.’ I passed this message on.

Nell began to cry, and then she said, ‘If he was still here I’d be living in my own home.’

‘Was your husband’s name Len?’ I asked.

Nell nodded. ‘Yes.’

‘Well, Len is telling me that your troubles will soon be over.’

‘You mean I’m going to die?’ she asked.

‘No, not at all,’ I replied. ‘It seems that he is going to sort things out for you, and as he is smiling, I assume it is going to be a happy ending.’

Nell’s daughter had been quietly listening to our conversation. At this point she said, ‘Betty, Mum has to live with us. She has no money of her own.’

I smiled. ‘I’ve given these sort of messages so often that I really think you should believe your Dad. They can sort things out better than we can because they have an overall view of the whole situation.’

I saw Nell and her daughter every week for about six weeks. Although nothing more was said about their situation or the message they had received, their relationship seemed to be easier.

A year later, the daughter visited me alone. When I asked her where Nell was she told me that her mother was sharing a flat with a friend. I asked how this had happened.

‘Well,’ she said, ‘do you remember giving me that message from my Dad?’

‘Yes.’

‘Mum repeated it to an old friend, and laughingly said that she thought Dad was still dreaming.’ She explained that he had always been a bit of a dreamer, which was why he hadn’t provided for her mother. She smiled. ‘You won’t believe the next bit,’ she said.

‘Try me,’ I urged.

‘Mum’s friend told her that she had been so lonely she had often thought about asking Nell to live with her, but thought that I might be offended.’

‘So your Dad wasn’t dreaming after all, was he?’

‘He certainly wasn’t, and he obviously knew it would work, because they are very happy together.’ She hugged me, and said, ‘I can never thank you enough. I love my mother but she was driving us mad.’

I told her that it was her father who had brought about the happy ending, not me.

‘Betty, after we had received your message, things were a lot happier at home, which meant that we remained friends. That meant a lot to both of us.’

I do believe that if families get together and talk about these difficult situations, then solutions can be found. There are still many old people who are entitled to
help, financially and otherwise, who are too proud to ask for it.

The young never think they are going to grow old, but it comes to us all in the end. There is so much that young and old can give to each other, and something as simple as becoming a pen friend, for example, won’t take that much time out of your life.

I do not think that the general public are aware of the many diverse situations that mediums have to cope with. I can understand that because in the beginning I was completely unaware of the range of circumstances which I would have to tackle. Perhaps it’s just as well that I didn’t. I might have refused to take on the challenge.