My Life as the Ugly Stepsister (8 page)

At least this time it was his dog making the noise.

“Dad was right,” the little boy said. “Two dogs are a lot louder than one.”

Ouch.

Chapter Seven

Boys get distracted and confused by breasts. Even old wrinkly ones.

—Ally’s Brutal Teen Truths

When Diane had come over to fetch me for dinner, Jonathan and his friends had been out shooting hoops. I was glad they made enough noise to drown out some from the backyard.

She opened the gate a crack and called my name. I petted Mojo and told him I’d be back after dinner. He ran off after Buddy, so I figured he was okay.

When I got to the driveway, I saw that Diane was flirting with, I mean, talking to the guys. Jonathan was being all polite to her. Dave and Colin were staring at her cleavage, blushing, looking away, and then staring again.

Eewww! And I’d been worried that they’d think I was a loser. Hello! Big losers. Totally leering at Diane’s old lady boobs. Gross!

“Hi, Ally. I was just telling Jonathan here how much we appreciate his help with Momo.”

“Mojo,” I muttered.

Jonathan glanced at me then back at Diane, and I could see that he was working really hard to keep his eyes trained on her face. The way she was dressed, you almost had to look at her breasts. Even I had found myself ogling them, and I had zero interest. Mine were much nicer. The wrinkly skin above them really turned me off. Puke.

“See you guys later,” I said and hurried past Diane to the house. Talk about a creepy situation.

Diane made grilled chicken. It looked way too pink to me, so I just cut it up and moved it around to look like I ate it. No way was I getting salmonella for this woman.

“Caroline,” Diane said, after chewing her piece of chicken for a long time. “My friend Susan has a kitten she’s trying to give away.”

“You hate cats,” Caroline said.

“I was just thinking that it’s too bad you don’t have a pet.”

Caroline put down her fork and said in this firm voice, “But you’re allergic, remember?”

“Well, yes,” Diane said, sounding strange. “Cats don’t bother me as much as dogs. There’s something different about the dander. But I was thinking maybe one of your friends could take it. The kitten.”

Huh? Had Diane really just tried to talk Caroline into a cat? I pretended I hadn’t heard the conversation. I was really glad I hadn’t made an effort to eat the chicken.

After dinner, I spent two hours doing my homework and getting ready for school the next day. Mom had put most of my stuff away, so I had to hunt down my hairbrush. I found it in the desk drawer. As if that made any sense.

I checked my email and replied to MC and Madison. I was beginning to understand why guys were so freaked out about their penis size. At least, Cosmo said they were. I’d gotten so much spam about it that I was starting to feel inadequate. And I didn’t even have a penis. No wonder guys were so messed up. I checked out the new pictures on MC’s Facebook and left Madison a message that I loved her new background. I had to dodge a few more weirdos. The coolest part about the whole site is the free music.

After shutting down my laptop, I went out to check on Mojo. He wasn’t as happy as he’d been earlier. Buddy wasn’t either. He was whining at the back door. They probably usually let him in the house by then.

At ten-thirty I showered, changed into clean shorts and a t-shirt, my usual PJ’s, and slipped beneath the yellow coverlet. I closed my eyes as my head sank into my soft pillow. I tried not to think of my poor lonely dog. I didn’t buy the allergy excuse. The flowery fragrance of Diane’s laundry detergent and ever present air freshener made my nose itch. How could she breathe it in all the time if she really had allergy problems? The cat thing was the last straw. No way was she suggesting Caroline’s friends take the kitten. I didn’t know anybody who was allergic to dogs but not cats. As my nasal passages threatened to seal shut, I couldn’t help picturing Mojo’s sad face as he realized I was leaving him tonight.

I’d never had to deal with this much crap at once. School starting should have been a big enough stressor. Staying here, missing my dog, worrying about my mom, avoiding my stepmother…It was a bit much for a high school freshman.

I gave up at eleven-thirty when Buddy and Mojo started barking incessantly. I grabbed my cell phone just in case somebody called. My friends usually avoided calling me in the middle of the night because I get really grumpy when somebody interrupts my sleep. I opened the door to my room and listened for a moment. I didn’t hear a thing. I’d already said goodnight anyway so Diane wouldn’t come looking for me. Surely my luck wasn’t so bad that I’d run into her on my way out the door.

Since the front door squeaks, I crept out the back. I walked around to the front yard and opened the gate to Jonathan’s yard. The loud sort of chirping, buzzing sound from the woods behind the house covered the sound of the wood scraping as I opened the gate. Vicious barking came toward me at an alarming speed until Buddy and Mojo realized it was me.

“Hey, boys,” I said, taking care to pet both of them. I talked puppy talk to them for a few minutes and then went and sat in one of the chairs on the back porch. Mojo sat right against my right leg and Buddy my left. The night was warm and calm, and I wasn’t freaked out by the darkness with two dogs to protect me. Not that they would. They’d both probably give a murderer big sloppy kisses as he chased me around the yard. Still, it was comforting in a strange way. I felt peaceful. I never felt that way in my room at my dad’s.

The darkness grew blacker, and the buzz of chirping from the woods grew louder. Whatever it was, turned out to be comforting. Me and the dogs just chilled. I didn’t hear anything from inside the house. The family room was dark inside the sliding glass door. I wondered which room was Jonathan’s. Was he in there asleep? Or was he tossing and turning like I had been?

Eventually, I stopped petting the dogs and they lay down at my feet and dozed. My mind drifted to school and the new kids, and English class where I didn’t know anybody to sit with. I knew a few kids but none I liked. I wished I could just snuggle up with Mojo in my room at home. My butt was falling asleep in the hard chair, and I would have loved to stretch out. I squirmed a little, thinking how tired I was going to be in the morning. Hopefully dark circles under the eyes were considered cool.

Yeah, I didn’t think so either.

Finally I realized no blood was circulating in my rear end. I didn’t want to end up with a butt cheek amputation, so I pulled myself up and stood. The dogs immediately came to attention.

“Sorry, Mojo,” I said with a yawn. “I’ve got to go to bed. You stay here with Buddy.”

I petted each of them one last time and walked toward the gate. They ran along with me hoping to play. Until I got close enough to the gate that they figured it out.

Mojo started whining and Buddy barked at me. Mojo joined in the barking.

“No. Shhhh.”

They didn’t shush.

I winced and started backing away from the fence. “Shut up you guys! You’ll wake everybody up.” I doubted Jonathan’s parents wanted me lurking in their yard after midnight.

Crap! I gave up and ran back to the porch. Mojo and Buddy gave a few last barks, of joy if I wasn’t mistaken, and then calmed down.

If I was stuck here, I was going for the swing where I could stretch out. Buddy would just have to share.

I sat on the swing and swung my legs up onto the cushions. I leaned back, not too sure what I’d be putting my head in, but I was too tired to care. Buddy jumped up instantly and rested his head on my chest. Mojo must have realized we were in Buddy’s territory because he settled for climbing up next to my feet.

I hadn’t even realized I’d been getting a little cold until the heat from the dogs warmed me up. A blanket might have been more effective, and more sanitary, but I was resigned to spending the night on the porch.

Buddy raised his head an instant before the sliding glass door opened. I jumped but didn’t bother getting up. Running away would look even stranger than lounging with the dogs.

Jonathan slipped out the door. “Hey, I wondered if they were barking at you.”

In the dim light, I could see that his hair was tousled from his pillow. My heart thumped in my chest. Buddy stayed put. I guessed he was comfortable.

“Sorry,” I said in a half-whisper. “They started barking when I tried to leave. So I thought this would be better.”

He eyed me and my two bedfellows for a minute. “You guys look pretty comfy there.”

I was hoping he couldn’t see me blush in the darkness. “I, um, tried the chair at first, but no way could I spend the whole night in that.”

“You do know what they say about lying down with the dogs.”

One of my dad’s favorite sayings. “Yeah, I know. I’ll get up with fleas.” Yuck. “Mojo’s been treated. Plus, that’s really just an expression, right?”

Jonathan smiled. “Buddy usually sleeps in my bed. So I think you’re pretty safe.”

“Did we wake your parents up?”

He shook his head. “I doubt it. I’m just really tuned in to Buddy. I expected him to have some problems, but I didn’t want Mojo to have to be alone. Dad drew the line at two dogs in the house.”

Poor Buddy. He’d been booted out because of Mojo.

“It’s okay, though,” Jonathan hurried to say. “Buddy is having a blast with another dog around.”

Hopefully, he meant it and wasn’t just trying to make me feel better. I didn’t know whether to stay or go. “Mojo will probably be okay now, if I go…” I didn’t sound the least bit convinced.

“Do you want me to stay out here so you can go home?” he asked somehow reading my thoughts. “I don’t mind sleeping here if it would make you feel better.”

“No. I don’t really mind staying. I hate to make you do it.” I was afraid he’d argue, so I said, “Besides, it isn’t really home over there anyway.”

“At least let me get you a blanket and a pillow. I’ll set my alarm for early so you can leave before my parents wake up.”

“You don’t—”

“It’s the least I can do,” he said and slipped back into the house.

He didn’t seem to think I was a total freak for sleeping on his patio.

He came back loaded down with blankets and pillows.

“Thanks, Jonathan. It’s really not that cold out here.” It was still August after all. The nights were cooler but not cold.

He handed me a blanket and pillow and then set another pair down on the ground. “Be right back,” he said.

I tucked the pillow under my head relieving the tension on my neck. Much better. Then I covered myself with the blanket as much as I could without burying the dogs. After just the vinyl cushions on the metal frame, the bedding felt decadent.

Jonathan came around the side of the house carrying a cot.

“The swing is fine, Jonathan,” I said when he reached me. “But thanks.”

“The cot’s for me,” he said, setting it up a few feet away and putting the pillow and blanket on it. “I’m not letting you have all the fun.”

I couldn’t help grinning. “You’re sleeping out here with me?”

“That’s the plan.”

He really was nice. Or else he just didn’t want Buddy hanging out with me all night. “Are you jealous?” As soon as the words were out of my mouth, I realized he probably thought I meant jealous of the dogs because they were in bed with me. “I, um, mean because Buddy’s hanging out with me.”

“No.” I thought I heard a trace of laughter in his voice. “You’re welcome to him. He snores.”

Buddy gave a loud sigh.

I giggled. “He says you’re lying.” Relaxing a little, I sank into the cushions.

“You’ll see,” Jonathan said as he lay down on the cot.

It wasn’t until he was lying down that it hit me. I was practically sleeping with a guy. Sure, it was innocent, but it was also strangely intimate. Being out in the darkness, late at night, stretched out with our pillow and blankets.

It was kind of magical.

“So was today your first day of school?” His voice sounded different somehow when he wasn’t standing up.

“Yeah. It was okay.” Were we really going to have a conversation? “What about you? You started yesterday.”

“It seems okay so far.”

“You didn’t get knifed already? You know that’s what they tell us at parochial school, that the public schools are crawling with knives and guns. Plus, with you being a guy, and a freshman, there’s probably a whole gang of delinquent seniors out to kill you.” He didn’t look like a freshman to me.

His deep laughter filled the air and teased my ears. “As far as I know, nobody wants me dead. Yet.”

“I’m sure Sister Teresa would say it’s just a matter of time.”

“She could be right.”

Sister Teresa was never right. “So, are you going out for basketball?”

He rolled over onto his side and tucked his arm under his head. He seemed even closer to me. “I don’t know. Probably not. I’d rather play church league. The competition’s pretty fierce for junior varsity at Plum. I might wait until next year.”

My church was my school, so it was weird to think of them as two separate things. “What church do you go to?”

“Well,” he said quietly. “We go to a Methodist church sometimes. But I play over at the Presbyterian church with a bunch of my friends. They do a lot of things with teens…lock-ins and stuff.”

“That’s cool. I get tired of the people at my church. You know, because I see them all the time.”

“You can come over to Second Pres. Everybody’s welcome. I don’t know if Caroline’s been there or not. She probably has though. Lots of kids from Plum High and Jefferson Middle go. You could ask her about it.”

Caroline’s been everywhere. I didn’t welcome the reminder. I didn’t have the guts to ask if he had a crush on her; plus I knew he’d never tell me the truth. I wouldn’t want to embarrass him when he was being so nice.

“It must be pretty cool having a stepsister your age. Not like having a bratty little brother.”

How on earth did I answer that one? When I didn’t say anything, he asked, “You get along with Caroline, don’t you?”