My Life as the Ugly Stepsister (4 page)

“Is this okay to wear? Where are we going?” I demanded after I got into the car. “What’s going on?”

“It’s nothing terrible. I promise.” The fact that she wasn’t driving and wasn’t looking at me should have told me to run. “I made an appointment for you at the doctor, Ally.” She kept her eyes on the steering wheel as she spoke. “I’ve been meaning to for a while, and now that I’m going away I didn’t want to put it off.”

“Oh no,” I said shaking my head and reaching for the door handle. “I’m not going to a therapist.” I thought they’d given up on a shrink two years earlier. The doctor had declared me to be functioning and not in need of counseling. Of course, I’d told the guy how everything was fine and I didn’t want to talk about anything.

“No, Ally.” Mom finally turned my way. “I want you to be comfortable with this process in case you need to go. I think you’ll like Dr. Peeden.”

Dr. Peeden? Wasn’t that her… My jaw dropped in horror.

“Yes, Ally. My gynecologist.”

I crossed my legs. “Mom! No! Why? What did I do?”

“Nothing. It won’t be bad. You’ll like her, and if you need her over the next few years you’ll be able to call her.”

“You aren’t going to be gone for years.”

“No, but my mother took me when I was twelve. For my cramps. I want you to go before you develop a fear of it. Some of my friends never go, and that’s not healthy.”

Now the clean panties thing made sense. “But I’m fine. Advil works for my cramps.” Four of them, but still they did work. “I’m not going.”

“What if you get a yeast infection while I’m gone?”

Eewww! “I’ll use the cream they show on television. I’ll stop eating sugar. I won’t get a yeast infection.”

Mom shrugged. “Go with me now or go with Diane next week. It’s your call.”

“You’re never coming back from Seattle, are you? You just want to do one last thing before you abandon me.”

Mom rolled her eyes. “I’m not abandoning you. You know better than to think so.”

I did know, in a way. Mom really liked being a mother.

A half hour later, I was shivering in a paper gown with an equally useless paper blanket pulled over me. Why were they blasting air conditioning in a place where they made you strip naked? I was starting to regret making my mother stay in the waiting room. The whole thing was gross and embarrassing and the longer I waited the more I agonized. I didn’t even want to look at what was “down there” and no way did I want someone else staring between my legs.

Mom had tried to break the tension by telling me a story about one of her friends whose doctor thought she was flirting because she accidentally covered her… self… in glitter. Something about her kids and not realizing they had used the washcloth for the mess they’d made. “So don’t you worry,” Mom had said. “These doctors have seen it all.”

Well, they hadn’t seen me, and I was happy with the status quo. I squeezed my legs together. Very happy.

Finally, the doctor knocked. She introduced herself and shook my hand. I didn’t want to think about where her hand had been.

She was younger than my mom, with short blonde hair, a white coat, and a smile that was probably meant to be reassuring. She seemed nice enough. “Are you having any problems at all?”

“No.”

She asked when my last period was, and whether I did self-breast exams.

“Um,” I said. I’m not a very good liar.

“You should do them every month.”

“Okay.”

“First, I’ll check your breasts. I’ll call in my nurse, and then, after that I’ll have you put your feet up in the stirrups for the pap smear.”

Stirrups?

The nurse came in, and Dr. Peeden had me lay back and raise one arm above my head. She pulled the paper gown aside and began very scientifically rubbing my breast. Then she did the other one. I pretended it wasn’t happening. Apparently, she didn’t find anything wrong. But I’d seen my breasts. The parts at the other end of the table were the ones I hadn’t examined closely. Who knew what horrible secrets they held?

The stirrups were even worse than they sounded. I had to scoot my naked butt down to the edge of the table and put my feet in the metal things so that my legs were spread wide. I felt ridiculous, and the warm lamp she had shining on me did not help. The sun was not supposed to shine down there.

Why stirrups? Was the first gynecologist some kind of sick cowboy? I mean really!

Obviously they kept you spread open for the doctor to access you, but still…

“This is the speculum,” the doctor was saying. Apparently she hadn’t seen any shocking deformities with her bright light so far. “I’ll slide this in to keep you open for the pap test. Then, I’ll use a cotton swab to get some cells from your cervix. It won’t hurt,” she assured me.

I tensed, like any reasonable person.

“You’ll have to relax,” she prompted. “Just lay back and think about something else. It will make it easier.”

Somehow, I managed to relax a little. She slid the thingy in and then did the thing with the swab. I was really picking up the technical lingo.

“You’re doing great,” she said.

She released the speculum thing and took it to the sink. “Next is the bimanual exam. I’ll place two fingers inside your vagina, and then press with my other hand on you abdomen to feel your uterus and ovaries. It won’t hurt, either.”

“Great,” I said. Sounds delightful. Mom had done this every year since she was twelve?

I was starting to feel kind of violated. Even though I knew it was all legitimate. And my mother was right. It was over with faster than a trip to the dentist.

“We’re all finished here.” Dr. Peeden stripped off her gloves and threw them in the trash. She turned off the light. “Go ahead and get dressed. And I’ll see you in a year.”

Yeah. Right.

“Don’t forget to go over those pamphlets on the HPV vaccine with your mother.”

Mom took me for lunch at my favorite restaurant and then bought me two new CD’s. It didn’t buy her my forgiveness, but I wasn’t going to turn down good stuff either.

I’d already been through a lot today, so I tried to convince her to wait on introducing Mojo to Jonathan’s dog.

“I don’t want to put it off, Ally.” Mom said when we pulled up at our house. “We need to know if they hate each other so I can make other arrangements.”

I wasted no time ejecting my CD and sticking it in the gem case. “Like forcing Diane to let me keep him in the house?”

Mom grimaced. “No. Like find someone else to watch him.”

We’d already had two hours of discussion about Diane and Mojo. Mom couldn’t force Dad and Diane to do anything. Of course Mom thought keeping him next door was absolutely reasonable since I’d get to see Mojo as much as I wanted.

Watching two dogs sniff each other’s butts didn’t sound good to me after being felt up at the gynecologist. Dealing with a cute guy was enough of a challenge when I hadn’t just had a woman’s hands all over me. When you start off your day in a paper gown, you don’t have the strength left for another crisis.

Mojo greeted me excitedly when I entered the house and I rubbed his head. “Hey, baby,” I said in my puppy dog voice. “You want to go meet a new friend?”

Mojo seemed to like the idea because he jumped up with his paws on my stomach, but then he had no clue what I was saying. He didn’t usually play with other dogs and when I walked him and he sniffed other dogs in the park, well, he tried to eat them. So no pressure. The chances of him getting along with Jonathan’s dog were…great.

The way my life was going, I really just wanted to hug my dog, cry, and hide under my bed. I ran to my room, wiggled out of my skirt, and pulled on a pair of shorts. Mojo wagged his tail as he followed me back to the door.

My dog loves to ride in the car so Mom keeps an old blanket over the back seat. Sometimes Mom takes him along when she’s running errands. The drive-thru at our bank will even give him a dog biscuit. And sometimes, the guy at Wendy’s gives him a free burger. My friend says they chop up the overcooked burgers and put them in the chili, but every now and then one goes to Mojo.

I hooked his leash to his collar, and he practically bounced off the walls. He jumped right into Mom’s Camry, and I shut the back door. I knew better than to ride over there in the back with him. He liked to run from side to side to see out both windows. I climbed in the front, and we headed over to my dad’s.

Dad and Diane had bought a house as far away from ours as possible in Charlotte. I wondered if they’d opened a map and done it on purpose. Probably. It would be just like Dad to do something like that. And I wouldn’t put anything past Diane.

At home, we didn’t have a fence for Mojo. I just walked him every day, and he sometimes stayed on a line outside. I knew it would be good for him to get to run. It was just the being away from him part that worried me. Well, that and the other dog. It didn’t matter which one came out on top. If they fought, it would be bad for me. And Mojo.

Mojo stuck his black and brown head between the seats to see out the front, and I rubbed behind his ears. Years of experience had taught me that this would keep him from jumping into my lap, or worse, my mother’s.

I struggled to rid my mind of this morning’s activities as we drove across town. Jonathan wasn’t that hot. I could probably manage. Maybe.

Mojo sighed as if to disagree.

Yeah, I didn’t believe me either.

Chapter Four

No way will you escape your teens without being humiliated. A lot.

—Ally’s Brutal Teen Truths

We pulled up in front of Dad’s house, and I grabbed the leash as Mojo bounded out.

“We’re only fifteen minutes late. Jonathan and his mother are expecting you. I’ll be back in an hour,” Mom said from behind the steering wheel.

“What?” I turned back, gripping the leash. “You’re leaving?”

Mom’s expression turned guilty. “Well, you don’t need me to help with the dogs. And I really don’t want to drink tea with Diane for an hour.”

Oh. Good point. I nodded. “Come back in an hour.” I wouldn’t want to drink tea with her either. And she hadn’t stolen my husband.

With the smile of an escapee fresh from Alcatraz, Mom said, “Thanks, hon. And good luck.”

“I’ll need it,” I grumbled. I led Mojo to Jonathan’s front door, dodging a tiny bicycle on the sidewalk. A lawn mower buzzed down the street, and the scent of freshly cut grass tickled my nose.

Jonathan answered before I could knock, and I took a step back. “Hey, Ally. So this is Mojo.” His smile was kind of nice. His orange Charlotte Bobcats t-shirt revealed hints of muscles in his arms.

He leaned down and talked to Mojo before petting him, instantly making friends with my dog. But was he really a dog-lover, or was this just a show?

I finally managed a “Hi.” Then, I remembered I was on a mission and got my wits together. “I never asked what you were getting for doing this,” I said.

He gave me a guilty wince. “Braves tickets. Diane’s ex-husband had season tickets and she got them in the divorce. We’re going to Atlanta at the end of September and we’re catching a bunch of games.”

Baseball. Those tickets were probably worth hundreds of dollars.

I was just starting to get irritated with him when he said, “I would have done it for nothing, but my dad needed something to justify all the fuss.”

“What fuss?”

He motioned to Mojo. “He’ll probably bark at night at first. Until he gets settled.”

“He doesn’t bark.” Mojo had gotten bored and sat down.

“Even if he’s outside with another dog and someone walks by with their dog?”

I winced. “Okay, maybe then he would bark.”

Jonathan smiled. “It’ll be cool. Buddy could use a friend.”

“You named your dog Buddy?”

A little color rose in his cheeks. “Uh, my little brother named him.”

“Oh.”

“Let me bring Buddy out front. We can see how they do before we try putting them in the fence together.”

I dragged Mojo around the front yard and he peed on every bush we passed. “You’re on empty,” I told him. “Get over it.”

Jonathan’s dog led him through the gate on a mud-splattered leash. Buddy was a little smaller than Mojo. He was a tan mutt, and he got right to business sniffing Mojo’s butt.

At first, Mojo was too busy with his nose in Buddy’s rear end to get upset. Then, he growled and started to attack. “No, Mojo,” I snapped, holding tight to the leash.

Jonathan dragged Buddy a few feet away and we tried again. “Give them a minute.”

But Jonathan looked up and met my eyes and suddenly I couldn’t think. He had the most beautiful liquid brown eyes. Like the amber glass beads on my mother’s favorite bracelet. My family had green eyes. I’d always thought of brown as dull, but his were beautiful.

Unfortunately, he was still talking and I had no idea what I’d missed.

“Huh?” I said, like a total dork.

His lips curved into a smile. “I said let’s put them together in the fence and let them play.”

This time Mojo tried to hump Buddy. My face flamed.

I’d never been so embarrassed in my life. “Sorry,” I mumbled to Jonathan after we pulled the dogs apart. “It’s not a sexual thing, you know. It’s about dominance.” Oh my God. Had I really just said that? To a guy?

Jonathan laughed. “It’s normal. Don’t worry about it. I’ve had Buddy for six years. I’ve seen a lot of, um, humping.”

We stood awkwardly watching the dogs romp around the back yard. Jonathan was standing, but he wasn’t still. He seemed kind of edgy, like he was as uncomfortable as I was. He kept fidgeting and moving. Putting his hands in his short pockets. Taking them back out. He swiped at the lock of chestnut hair that had fallen across his forehead.

“They seem to be doing okay, now.” Mojo and Buddy were running at full speed around the back yard.

“Yeah, uh.” Jonathan bounced in place. “Do you want to sit down on the porch?”

“Sure. I guess.” A couple of chairs and a long metal swing, practically a couch, with big cushions formed a sitting area on the back patio.

Jonathan pointed to the swing. “That’s Buddy’s bed. I wouldn’t recommend sitting there.”