My Little Secret (6 page)

 

She lied. The funny thing is I expected it and I'm still surprised—a little. I thought for sure after putting that shit on her the way I did last night she would be running to my doorstep bright and early, but I have been calling since five this morning and her phone is going straight to voice mail. I'm due to be in the air at eight o'clock, so by five-thirty I have no choice but to head out without her.

I call Nevaeh once I get to the New Jersey Turnpike, and I meet her in Elizabeth, New Jersey on my way to the Big Apple. Nevaeh may be funny-acting, but she's reliable and I know I will have never had to remind her to be somewhere. There I was trying to find an excuse for her not to go, and I end up needing her. I have definitely got to evaluate who I'm fooling with this year.

It takes everything in me not to call Midori, and even after I stop to pick up Nevaeh I still call her a couple of times, if for nothing else but to curse her ass out, and she still isn't picking up. It's cool, though. She'll see how I turn the tables, and she won't like it, not one bit.

When I get to the radio station I am greeted by the production manager, who in turn introduces me to Carla, Tommy, Shirley, and Steve, the team who make up
The Steve Harvey Morning Show
. They all make me feel comfortable immediately. Even though my publicist had given me a list of questions they might possibly ask, she told me to be prepared for the conversation to switch up and turn at any moment. I'm excited and nervous at the same time, but Nevaeh gave me the energy I needed to make this happen, and pretty soon thoughts of Midori are long gone.

After I am situated in the studio with my headphones on, I flash Nevaeh a quick smile just as the commercial ends, and we get into the interview.

“We're back, ladies and gentlemen, and with us we have the talented
New York Times
bestselling author of
She Belongs to Me
and
Second Time Around
. She has also participated in several collaborations, and is the recipient of the
2006 Writers On The Move Award
. Give it up for Miss Jaydah B.,” Steve Harvey says with a warm smile on his face, instantly making me feel at ease.

“Thank you so much for having me. I'm so happy to be here,” I reply, smiling shyly and still not believing I've made it this far.

“Look at her trying to act like she shy, unc. Boy, if she was a little thicker—”

“Tommy, stop embarrassing the woman. Can't you see she's over here shaking?” Shirley says jokingly, reprimanding Tommy and bringing laughter from all of us in the room.

“I'm cool, Shirley. I have to bat off men like Tommy all the time.”

“And I know that's right, with your fine self. If you was just a little older, I would just—”

“Steve, act like we're on nationally syndicated radio,” Carla joins in the conversation, drawing another round of laughter. “Jaydah, start by telling us how you came to be on top.”

“I got this, Carla,” Steve says, pretending like he has an attitude.

The energy in the studio has us on fire, and I'm loving it. Shirley rolls her eyes, and Tommy starts panting like he was having a hard time breathing, which makes us all laugh again.

“Miss Jaydah B., please tell us how you got to where you are today. How did you come to meet Nathan Jones, CEO of Hot Topicz Publications?”

“Well, I met Nathan at an issues party I threw at my house back in the summer of 2004. My publicist and longtime friend Talia Skyy brought him over to the house after he was done with some business and signings he had in the Philadelphia area, him originally being from Jamaica, Queens, New York,” I say, reminiscing on how I got into the publishing game.

“An issues party? Lord knows we all got issues,” Tommy comes in from the sideline, making us laugh. “So you're telling me that all of y'all got together and had a party about having issues?”

“Something like that,” I respond, laughing at Tommy's antics. I then break down how the issues party worked.

“What we basically did was write down a bunch of issues and topics, covering everything from sex to baby momma drama, and dropped them into a punch bowl. Once we got started, we pulled the questions out one at time, reading them out loud, and gave everyone a chance to answer. It was usually a mixed crowd of men and women, gay and straight, single and married, so it made for interesting conversation.”

“That sounds like something we all need to attend, right after church service,” Steve says, cracking his own self up.

I laugh along, really enjoying the interview.

“Okay. So, Jaydah, tell us about your books. From my understanding you have two novels out now, one on the way, and you have done a good amount of collabos that helped get your name out there,” Shirley asks, gaining control of the situation.

“
Collabos?
What? She a rapper now? She got something out with Jay-Z and Fiddy?” Tommy asks, clowning me.

“No, Tommy. Collabos, in the book world, are just like those in rap and R&B where several authors get together and write about the same topic.”

“See here, that sounds like something Sister Odell know something about,” Carla replies, referring to one of Steve's alter egos. Sister Odell is an older church-going woman who knows how to put you right in your place.

“That's correct, Shirley. I've participated in five collaborations, all of which are available nationwide. As for my novels, the first one is about a husband and wife who are having bedroom issues and the husband somehow convinces his wife that if they had a threesome it would fix their problem. Needless to say, that's not how it turns out. That's where all the drama unfolds. The sequel deals with how they handled it all after their lives fell apart, and they are trying to see if they can put it all back together.”

“From what I understand about the book, young lady, is that the mistress in the book comes in and tries to take the wife from her husband,” Steve says in his Sister Odell character.

“Yes, that's exactly what happens,” I reply, nervous about what is going to happen next.

“How much of this story is true, young lady? You know an awful lot to look so innocent,” Sister Odell says, drawing laughter from the room once more.

“All of it is strictly fiction, although I get a lot of readers who think I am telling my life story. I'm not into women. Melissa is just a character I made up to go along with the story,” I reply to Steve, taking a quick glance at Nevaeh to see her reaction. She has a straight face, showing no emotion, and I don't know if that is good or bad.

Not that I'm trying to hide or anything, but the world doesn't need to know that much of my business. What I do in the privacy of my own home is just that, and besides all that, I'm not interested in
all
women, just Nevaeh and Midori.

“And Melissa was vicious, you hear me?” Carla chimes in. She goes into some of the scenes in the book, causing all kinds of ruckus in the studio.

The phone lines are on fire, and the producers of the show have wide smiles on their faces.

“We're going to take some calls from the listeners after the break so we can get into exactly how crazy Melissa was, and how much Jaydah B. is hiding from us. If you've read either book or just want information, give us a call at 1-88829-STEVE. It's thirteen minutes after the hour. We'll be back with
The Steve Harvey Morning Show
after these messages.”

I breathe a sigh of relief as we go into commercial break. Everyone tells me how well I'm doing, and Nevaeh flashes me a smile from the studio window, with two thumbs up, confirming what they said.

Within minutes we're back to the show, taking calls and just having a good time. Steve is humorous as he interviews me as Roscoe and Tongue Tied, two of his other voices he does on the radio. I'm in stitches the entire time. I'm also allowed to be a judge on “Other Idol,” the morning show's version of
American Idol,
where contestants call up on the radio and sing their song of choice for a chance to win prizes.

“So, before we go, we'd like to thank the extremely sexy, absolutely talented Jaydah B. for hanging out with us this morning. Tell our listeners again how they can get a hold of your books and all that,” Steve says as the show comes to a close.

“All of my books can be found on my web site,
www.AskJaydahB.com
.You can also find them onamazon.com as well as Borders and Barnes & Noble. If you have an account with Black Expressions, my books are available through there also. Check my web site every month for your chance to win a novelty item. Drawings are held once a month, and it's all about adult pleasure.”

“Adult pleasure, my kind of contest,” Tommy says, getting laughs all around the room.

“Okay, that's our show, ladies and gentlemen. God willing, we'll meet here tomorrow. Have a blessed one.” Steve concludes the show, afterward thanking me again for coming on.

Before I leave, I do a few thirty-second commercial spots for the show, then we all head over to Amy Ruth's for an early brunch, since his show ends at ten in the morning.

I'm on cloud nine for the rest of the morning, and before we get into my car to head back to Jersey, the producer gives me two copies of the show on CD, and we are on our way.

I decide to chill with Nevaeh for a couple of days, just to get my head together. I thought I was past the entire Midori situation, but as soon as we are on our way back, I get mad about it all over again. I use the excuse that I had to stay close because of the
Essence
magazine photo shoot I had in the morning.

I mean, it isn't a total lie.
Essence
did offer to put me up for the night, but I don't want to be alone. I have been number one on their fiction bestseller's list for the past six months, and along with a few others who maintained their top five spots, we are doing a photo shoot for their tribute to urban fiction writers.

We get to her house about an hour and a half later due to rush-hour traffic coming out of Manhattan. Nevaeh has an immaculate condo in Elizabeth, New Jersey that allows her the luxury of getting back and forth to photo shoots in New York in no time. She wants me to come stay with her, but it is more convenient for me to do business from Philly. I traveled to New York a lot for signings and such, but I also did I lot of business down South, so it is easier for me to be in the middle of both directions. Of course, she doesn't understand all that, and I don't even bother to explain after the first hundred or so times.

Once we're settled we take a nice long bath together, afterward cuddling on the couch to watch some movies. I am still pissed at Midori. I ain't even gonna hold you on that. I sneak and call her again while Nevaeh is running the bath for us, and her phone is still going straight to voice mail. I just want to curse her ass out one good time and I'll be straight.

Halfway through the movie Nevaeh says she wants to talk to me about something. She had mentioned it to me earlier too, but I was trying to avoid the conversation. See, she doesn't know about me and Midori. She knows I know her and Ray, but she doesn't know that she and I are intimate. Nevaeh is the jealous type, and even though we aren't officially together, she would step to Midori like we were, and I don't feel like all the drama.

“So, are we going to make it official or not?” Nevaeh asks through bites of popcorn.

I try to act like I didn't hear her, but she pops me in the head and asks again.

“Nevaeh, you know we don't work out. With your schedule and mine, we wouldn't be able to connect like we should,” I say, not wanting to tell her how I really feel. I mean, she's excellent in bed, but otherwise she is a pain in the ass.

“I understand that you have things to do, and I'm willing to give you room. I know how important your books are, and I won't bother you. I think you should give us a chance.”

“You say that now, but you know how you get. Remember what happened the last time?”

“I know, and I'm a different person now. Give me a chance.”

I think about it for a while before responding. It ain't like Midori is ever going to leave Ray. Shit, the way they're living, she'd be a fool. It's obvious from her not showing up this morning that her loyalty lies with her husband. On the flip side of all that, I know Nevaeh is so extra, and I'm really not in the mood.

“So, you're just going to ignore me, huh?” Nevaeh says like she was hurt.

“Look, let's just see what happens. We can be exclusive, but let's not rush into anything. I don't want to hurt you, and I don't want to be hurt either. Is that fair?”

“I'm cool with that, but for how long?”

“We'll just play it by ear, Nevaeh.”

“Okay, but one last question.”

I turn to look at her, so she can see the annoyance on my face. This is part of the reason why I don't want to go there with her. I'm making a mistake, and I know it. Later on I'll regret this, I'm sure.

“What's your question?”

“Do you love me?”

“Yes, Nevaeh, I love you.”

“Okay, I was just making sure.”

Shaking my head, I turn back around to watch the movie, but soon I'm fast asleep. Thoughts of Midori rush through my mind, but I know I have to move on. All we have are memories and bullshit, and I am definitely cool on that.

 

“You keep cutting me off.” It isn't until Wednesday afternoon that I finally find a free minute to call Jaydah. She won't let me get a word in edgewise, but that's to be expected.

Ray hasn't left my side since we got here, but it wasn't until this morning that I find out that he is really down here for a physician's convention. It's bad enough that I am forced here as it is, and I have to actually act like I want to be here, but I didn't think he would be all up under me like that. At first I was pissed, but when I realized that it gave me a free minute to use the phone without having to sneak into another room, I was suddenly elated.

“Why the fuck are you calling me now? It's been three days, and you stood me up. Midori, I can do without the extra bullshit.”

“But you won't even let me explain—”

“Let you explain what? That you're so into yourself, you don't give a damn about me? After all the shit we been through, and this is how it turns out for me?”

Jaydah's going off, but what can I do? Everything she said was true, but she knew I was married going in. When did things change? I knew when she gave me the ring I was in too deep, but my selfish ass stayed. Now look at us. If I were smart, I would've given the ring back and ended it then. Now I'm stuck.

“Jaydah, I understand all that you are saying, but I didn't know that Ray and I—”

“Listen. This is what I want you to do. I want you and Ray to go ahead—”

“Hold on, let me talk,” I try to cut her off because I know where this conversation is going, but I'm not really ready for it to end.

“No, you listen. I'm tired, Midori. I'm tired of playing second string to your wack-ass husband, and I'm done with having to wait until it's convenient for you. I can't do this anymore, it's over.”

“But, Jaydah, let me—”

“It's over.”

She hung up. No good-bye or maybe we can talk later or anything. She just . . . hung up.

I start to dial her right back, but I know there is no use. I figure a few days will allow her some cooling-off time, so I'll just talk to her when I get back.

It's a good thing I did hang up, because a few seconds later Ray walks in. I know the meeting couldn't have been over that fast, so he had to have forgotten something.

“Honey, did I just hear you arguing with someone?” Ray asks as he rummages through some files he had on a desk in the living room of our suite.

As I figured, he left something he needed at the convention.

“No, I was talking to someone at the office about a patient.”

“We're supposed to be enjoying ourselves. Why are you worrying yourself with work?”

The look I give him shuts him down for all of ten seconds. He had the audacity to say I shouldn't be checking my office when we are down here doing business for his. Some nerve.

“You tricked me into coming here so you could work,” I say, venom dripping from my voice. I swear he makes me sick.

“Listen, let's not argue. The convention will be over in about another two hours. I have a spa treatment set up for us. Let's just enjoy the rest of the vacation.”

He walks over and kisses me on my forehead before leaving the room, and it takes everything in me not to throw an elbow at his rib cage. I hate sneaky shit, and he's always up to something.

When I get up to take a quick shower, I notice Ray's wallet lying on the floor by the table in the living room. Initially I pick it up and set it on the table, but something won't let me walk away without looking inside it. Now, I know I would flip if Ray had gone through my personal belongings, and my conscience is telling me to just put it down and walk away, which I try several times.

By the fifth time I find myself sitting on the bed, going through his wallet to see what he has going on. I find real basic stuff like his black card, identifications, charge cards to his favorite stores, and a few dollars folded up. Flipping through the picture department I smile at photos of him and me on vacations we had taken previously. I can't help but smile at the memories.

As I go further down the fold-out, my warm smile turns into an ugly shriek as I lay eyes on a nude picture of Barbara, the head nurse in Ray's department.

I take the picture out, so I can study it closer. I can't believe the audacity of some people. Here this old wrinkled bitch is stretched out with her legs cocked wide open, smiling into the damn camera. When I flip the picture over, I am even further stunned. Under a sweet little message she wrote on the back of the picture, it is dated for December 18, 2006—Ray's birthday.

 

Thinking back, I remember all I had to go through to make that day special for him. Jaydah and I had gotten into an argument because she wanted me to go to Norfolk with her to some book signings she had at the Military Circle Mall and other local bookstores over the weekend. Her biggest concern was having to take the six-hour drive by herself, but when she informed me that her publicist and someone she was cool with from her book club and another author agreed to go, I felt a lot better.

She couldn't understand that it was my husband's birthday, and as his wife I didn't have a choice in the matter. His birthday was that Monday, and I couldn't see spending an entire weekend out of town then having to rush back to set things up for him.

Long story short, she left for Norfolk, but not before giving me a key to her spot and requesting that I be there when she got back. That weekend I went all out shopping for candles and sexy lingerie, as well as setting up a meal plan for dinner that night.

I left for work that morning like I usually did, so as not to draw attention to my surprise later that evening. Ray agreed to be home by eight for a dinner date that I told him I set up for his birthday at his favorite restaurant in Center City. I left the house long enough for him to leave before I doubled back to set everything up.

Ray's favorite color was burnt orange, so I pulled out all of the new linen and window treatments I purchased from Bed, Bath & Beyond, and worked on creating a romantic atmosphere with candles to match. I purchased a bag of peach petals to float on top of the bath water I would run later, and after setting up my dinner menu, I went up and got ready for him, slipping into lingerie that matched the bedroom.

I had a trail of rose petals and candlelight leading from the front door to the bedroom. When he walked into the house, there was a shot of Hennessy on the table at the door with instructions for him to drink it before he came upstairs. I chose Hennessy because I knew after drinking that I was guaranteed an all-nighter . . . hopefully.

Everything was perfect. I had the serving tray set up in the bedroom, all of the candles were lit, and I was smelling and looking delicious as I lay stretched across the bed. I made sure to give our housekeeper the night off, just in case we got into something kinky and it got loud up in there.

The house was completely dark, except for the light from the candles that led a trail to the room. I heard Ray pull up to the house at five of eight, so I stretched out on the bed in a sexy pose for him.

Within a couple of seconds he was upstairs flicking on the lights and pulling clothes out of the closet. My entire mood was cut dead short, and it was like he didn't even see me lying there. I turned off the radio as I got out of the bed because I didn't even want the smooth sounds of Luther Vandross to be mixed in with the words I was about to spit out.

“Ray, is this how you come in? What's all this about?” I asked, trying to stop him from pulling more clothes out of the closet in the process.

“Babe, I'm so sorry. I have to be in L.A. in the morning, and I have a redeye flight scheduled for midnight,” he said, finally stopping to look at me.

“But it's your birthday, and I did all of this for you,” I said as I turned in a circle pointing to all of the things in the room and myself.

“I know, and I'm sorry. Just put the food and stuff in the fridge. I'll be home on Wednesday night. You can reheat it and we can eat then—”

“You can't reheat lobster, you idiot! I can't believe this!”

“Jaydah, I didn't know I—”

“Fuck you, Ray! Just go on about your business.”

He was saying some shit, but I didn't hear anything that came out of his mouth. I was dressed in no time, leaving him in the house. He called my cell phone the entire time, but I didn't bother to answer.

Jaydah had gotten back in town that same morning, and even though I knew she was upset, I went over there anyway.

Pulling up to her condo about forty-five minutes later, I haphazardly parked my car and ran up the steps to her front door. When I walked in, she was busy typing away on her laptop, looking like she had a good groove going. I instantly felt bad about disturbing her because I knew it was hard for her to sometimes even write a sentence.

I set my bag down on the coffee table and reached into the pocket of my trench coat to silence my ringing cell phone. Seeing that Ray was calling from his cell phone meant he had already left the house, so I didn't even bother to answer. I just turned the phone off.

“What are you doing here? I thought you were celebrating your husband's birthday.” Jaydah said to me, not bothering to look up from her task. She had a habit of doing that, and she knew I hated that shit.

“Ray had to work,” I said, walking toward her spot on the living room floor. I stepped out of my house shoes at the door so I wouldn't track snow on her carpet, suddenly embarrassed that all I had on was the lingerie I brought for Ray.

“Oh, so you came here because your man dissed you, huh? Ain't that something?”

“No, it's not like that. Just like I spent your birthday with you, I had to do it for him. It's only fair.”

“Yeah, I hear that. Well, make yourself comfortable and drop that outfit in the incinerator. You bought that shit to wear for him, not for me.”

 

How could I have been so stupid? I know Ray is stepping out on me because he isn't pressuring me for sex at home, and he doesn't care that I stay nights out. I wonder if that bitch has ever been at my house? He specifically told me he had to leave for business, and he was laid up with this bitch?

I can't believe it. I fold the pictures back up into his wallet, taking that one and putting it inside my purse. I will be confronting her as soon as we get back to Philly. I can't believe this shit. I could have been chilling with Jaydah, and here I am stuck on a damn island with this lying-ass nigga.

I tried calling Jaydah back, but she wasn't taking my calls. At this point I am just fed up with everyone. I called the airline to see if I can leave today, but the earliest flight out is Friday afternoon. I'm cool with that. All I have to do is bide my time until then.

I get dressed in a basic terry cloth jumper so I can run downstairs to the front desk. The attendant is nice enough to let me make a copy of the picture after I tell him I am a doctor and need some files copied for a client. I have a few of Ray's papers to make it look official, but I really only copy the picture.

Like he promised, two hours later Ray is back in the room. He walks in on me watching a movie from the payper-view listing. I act like everything is normal, allowing him to kiss me on my forehead. He goes into the bathroom to shower and change because he wants us to have lunch with a few people from his office.

Since I hadn't gone anywhere, I just changed into a cute pair of peach capris with a white halter-top and sandals to match. I pull my hair up into a ponytail since it is hot as hell outside, and when he is ready to go, we meet everyone in the dining room in the hotel.

Imagine my surprise when I see Barbara sitting at the table with her husband, laughing as if he'd just told the funniest joke of all time.

It takes everything in me not to drop-kick her ass up out that chair. She gives me the phoniest smile when we approach the table, and I don't even bother to return it. This bitch is sleeping with my husband, and I want her to know that I know. When the time is right, she will know. Two more days and I will be up out of this joint, and with the only person who truly cares about me.