My Lucky Days: A Novel (36 page)

Turning away, I looked outside as we left the diner. I noticed he didn’t roll the windows back down until we cleared the parking lot. “So I guess that’s normal now? People just coming up to you on the street?”

He glanced over at me. “Sometimes.”

“Is it hard living like that?”

His fingers gripped the wheel tighter. “All of this is different than I thought it would be. After I guest judged a season of that singing show, regular people started noticing. You know, outside of the country fans. But then I was dumb enough to date Carrie Loren. That’s when the shit got really crazy. The tabloids turned my personal life into a fucking circus. I had a bodyguard for a while. But after we broke up, it got better. I mean, it’s better now.”

And the differences between us suddenly felt huge. Grand Canyon huge. Lucky had dated someone who starred in three of the last five movies I’d seen in the theater. She was beautiful and tall and blonde. And those legs. Peyton had coveted her legs even when she was supposed to be
hating her
with me.

“I’m just hoping that once I’m here, the new will wear off with people. They won’t make a big deal out of it. I just want to be normal again and blend in.”

“Normal like shop at Walmart and buy toilet paper?”

“You don’t think that’s possible?”

I stared at him, realizing he was serious. He
really
thought a normal life was possible again. I fought back the nervous laughter at the ridiculous idea.

“Sure it’s possible.” I struggled to keep a straight face. “Like a tiger in a china store, breaking shit. No one’s going to notice you at all.”

And then I couldn’t hold it in any longer. I was laughing. And he started laughing too. It felt good to laugh at him. To laugh with him. My bruised ribs hurt as I sucked in air.

“I’ve missed that smile of yours, Katie
Darlene
Jenson.”

The boulder hit me in the heart. I looked back out the window, letting the breeze wash over my face. My thoughts were swirling into all kinds of crazy. I should have never said yes to dinner. But he had been so persistent. And part of me was curious.

But everyone knows what happened to the curious cat.

The truck came to a stop before pulling off the road into someone’s pasture. I looked over at him. “Should you be doing this? I get that you think you’re famous. But some people take trespassing a little hardcore. Like they shoot and ask questions later.”

He grinned at me. “You’re still funny too.”

“What?”

“This is my land.”

I looked around in confusion. The truck went down the cleared path in the grass to the end of the property, stopping in front of a railroad track. He turned us around, pointing the tailgate toward the setting sun.

“Did you purposely buy a place that has a train running next to it?”

“I did. Got a great deal on it too. Not many people appreciate a good view of a train. Or the sound. And I have missed that sound. Doesn’t feel like home without it.”

“Is this the same track that runs by your mama’s house?”

“Yep.” He smiled and then reached over, giving my thigh a quick pat. “Come on. Let’s eat. That growling bear is starting to scare me.”

Lucky opened the door and got out of the truck while I was left with the lingering touch of his hand against my leg.

W
e got settled in on the tailgate as the sky turned slowly orange in front of us, which meant he’d taken me to a sunset dinner—which felt like an actual date. I watched him eat a tater tot. He held the little container of ranch out for me to dip mine. I coated it white and then popped the fried piece of heaven into my mouth.

“Hey, I forgot the drinks.” He jumped to the ground, going back to the truck.

Taking a bite of my hamburger, I looked out toward the train tracks. I felt the growing apprehension. It had remained ever since I had agreed to come with him tonight.

No, I was lying to myself. I think it had started the night he came to the hospital and had just never quite left my system, lingering in the background as a mix of curiosity and dread. And maybe happiness and a little bit of fear. Part of me liked seeing him again. And that scared me.

Lucky came back with a little Yeti ice chest. Opening the top, he pulled out two cans of Coke, handing one to me. I did my best to wipe the rim with a napkin before popping the top.

The truck moved as he sat back down on the tailgate. He opened his can, sucking the fizz off the top. “I think we should toast.”

“Toast to what?”

“Friendship.”

I eyed him for a second. “Friendship?”

“Yes.” He held his can up in the air between us. “To us being friends again.”

I hesitated before clinking mine against his. “So is that why you did that song the other night? For our friendship?”

Ignoring my question, he reached over, taking one of my tots. “You better eat the rest of those before I do.”

I studied Lucky as he continued to eat. He took a drink from his Coke can after every third bite of his burger. He seemed to slip into his own deep thoughts as he watched the sun slowly disappearing. I had more of my own questions for him. Questions I didn’t even know existed until I saw him in person again.

“This is a little weird,” I finally said.

He looked back at me. “What do you mean?”

“Well, I’m eating tots with the reigning Entertainer of the Year.”

“Two years in a row. Don’t forget that part.” He ate another one of mine, grinning in my direction.

“You didn’t let me finish. I was going to say, it’s also a little
under
whelming.”

“Ouch.” He laughed. “But seriously, you feel weird spending time with me?”

“Yes. It’s like some things are the same about you. But it’s been a long time. I know you’re not the same. I’m not the same either.” I shrugged, picking at the bun, throwing little chunks out in the grass. “It’s just feels a little weird.”

“I’m sorry.” He stared out toward the railroad tracks.

I didn’t know what to say to that remark. Was he sorry about it being weird or sorry for bringing me here or sorry for something else entirely? The silence seemed to grow. He wasn’t talking. I wasn’t talking. Only the grass bugs were making noise.

His hand went up, adjusting his hat. I saw the new colorful tattoo again, curling around his arm. And the words. The small artistic ones mixed in with the ink design that I could never quite read on television or the magazines.

The world is bigger than you.

Very prolific, I guess. Another one of his reminders, maybe. And I wondered why he needed it. My feet were getting tingly as they hung off the tailgate. I swung my legs back and forth, trying to get the feeling to return. “The house that Colt is building. Is it out here too?”

“Yeah.” Lucky gestured with his head toward the north. “It’s about half done. He just started it a couple of months ago. He’s rushing it. I’m living in the pool house right now.”

“The pool house.” I laughed. “All joking aside. You’re really going to live here full time?”

He finally turned and looked at me. “Yes.”

I picked up my can, taking another drink as I contemplated his answer. I couldn’t read him. Not anymore, and it was frustrating me. “Why?”

“Sometimes the truth ain’t easy when staying is harder than leaving.”

“That’s from a song,” I mumbled. “The one on the piano.
Leaving Lonely
.”

“That wasn’t a single release.” His eyes sought mine. His face softened and for a moment, I saw a glimpse of the guy I once knew. The guy full of big dreams. “Do you still listen to my songs?”

“Yeah. I’ve actually got all your albums on vinyl.”

“You’re kidding.”

And then I fell into the spell of that hopeful smile. As he looked at me, I found myself telling Lucky the secret that not even Peyton knew. “I’ve seen you play too.”

“When?” He seemed shocked.

“I never told anyone. But I’ve seen every big show you’ve done in Oklahoma. And I drove to Dallas once too.”

“All those nights . . . you’ve really been there?”

“I was there,” I whispered, feeling the warmth on my cheeks as I admitted the truth to the one person who probably should have never known. “But I didn’t want anyone to see me watching you. I was dating Ryan for part of it. And I wasn’t sure how to explain it. To explain you. So I didn’t tell anyone. Not even Peyton.”

“You went by yourself? You should have told me. You could have watched backstage. We could have talked. I could have seen you.”

“That’s why I didn’t tell you.”

His jaw gritted up as he stared back at the railroad tracks. “So you didn’t want to actually see me. But you felt enough about me to still come to the shows?”

I wasn’t sure how to answer that question. So I told the best version of the truth I was willing to share with him. “I didn’t want to make it harder. But I was happy for you. Proud of you. And it was incredible seeing you up there.”

He ate another tater tot as the sound of a bird came from the bushes next to the track. “So that Ryan guy. I heard you almost married him.”

It was my turn to be surprised. “How did you know that?”

“This town’s not that big. His mama. My mama. Doesn’t matter.” He shrugged. “So he asked, and you said no.”

“Yeah. Something like that.”

“Why’d you say no?”

“I don’t know.”

He elbowed me in the arm, giving a playful smile. “That’s it? You date the guy for three years. And then say no. But you don’t know why?”

“How did you know it was three years?”

“Told you. That part doesn’t matter. I want to know why you didn’t marry him.” And this time he wasn’t joking. I heard it in his voice, almost like a challenge.

I couldn’t look at Lucky and answer his question. So I didn’t. I focused on the Oklahoma sky in the distance. “He liked raisins.”

“You’re so full of shit.” He shook his head, letting out a laugh.

“It’s true.” I shrugged. “He loved them in everything. He even wanted pancakes with those nasty little pieces cooked inside. Who eats pancakes with raisins? That is not a thing. Nor will it ever be a thing.”

We both laughed for a moment. And then he stared at me with serious brown eyes. “So that’s the story you’re sticking with? You said no over raisins?”

“Yes,” I whispered.

My heart was beating fast as he held my gaze, daring me to change my answer. “Well, I’m glad he liked raisins.”

I looked away, fiddling with my napkin. This was getting harder being with him. The slight dance of words. So many old emotions were trying to resurface. I felt the truck bed shift as he slid closer to me. I smelled his damn cologne again.

“What are you doing, Lucky?”

Before he could reply, I heard the sound of the train. The slow swoosh until it appeared about a quarter of a mile away. The sun was going down slowly, casting a bright orange backdrop across the sky as the first car passed in front of us.

The sudden breeze hit me, blowing the front of my dress up a little bit. I pushed it down, leaving my hands resting on my thighs.

“Aren’t we a little close?” I yelled over the noise.

“Maybe. But doesn’t it feel good?”

Maybe it did. Maybe it all did.

The train filled my view, flashing and changing colors as it sped down the tracks and the steady rhythm filled the air. As the cars moved, I heard the grinding of metal as they shifted around, morphing into a hypnotic blur in front of us.

Lucky reached over, taking my hand, half-holding it as his fingers rested on my thigh. I felt every place he touched me. I knew what those fingers could do to me. What they could make me feel. This was crazy. But I didn’t stop it from happening. I let the magic of the night train take us back to another time and place.

He leaned over. “You hear it?”

“What?”

His lips got closer to my ear, and I felt his breath. At first, it was just the low hum of his voice until he broke into the words.

I rolled my eyes, laughing at him. “Johnny Cash.
Folsom Prison.
”

“She remembers.” He winked.

As the last car cleared, the sound slowly disappeared into the night. The sun was gone. And so was the train. The only thing left was us. I waited for him to let go of my hand. But he didn’t. His thumb brushed over my knee, sending little tingles up my leg.

I pulled my hand free of his grasp. “What are you really doing here, Lucky? It’s like I fell off that roof and you decided to roll back the clock.”

“I’ve wanted to get in touch with you for weeks. Months, actually. Way before you fell off the roof. I just didn’t know what to say. Or how to say it. I tried to call you a few times. But I couldn’t go through with it.”

“After all these years, why are you being so persistent about talking to me now?”

He stared at me for a second. “Go get back in the cab. I’ve got something to show you. I’ll clean up back here.”

I hesitated before jumping down in the grass. Going around to the passenger’s side, my nerves were firing at a rapid pace. I didn’t know what he had to show me. What required this big production and secrecy.

I fidgeted inside the cab as I waited for him, smelling the sweet leather scent. This truck must be brand new. Just a few weeks old. I looked around in the front and then in the backseat. I didn’t see anything in here, which was baffling. Nothing to show me.