My Lucky Days: A Novel (43 page)

“I’m so sorry.” I sat down in the chair as the heaviness hit me. I knew what she really wanted. Peyton wanted to be the woman in the picture. She just didn’t know how to get there.

She didn’t say anything for a while as she stared up at the ceiling. “Everything in my life is so screwed up. It’s like I have this giant arrow over my head that says,
Pick her
.
She’s your next idiot
. That’s all I am. Just another notch. Or side piece. I’m the dumb idiot.”

“You are not a dumb idiot.”

She looked at me with sad eyes and a red nose. “Then what am I?”

“You are sweet. And fun. And
funny
. And caring and beautiful.” I smiled, feeling the tears in my own eyes. “It doesn’t make
you
the idiot when they don’t see that.”

Her face pinched up again. “Then maybe I should just stop.”

“What do you mean?”

“Dating. I can’t do this anymore. I only attract guys who pretend to be men but are really just junior high assholes. I’m done with assholes. And . . . and . . . I’m not even kissing another guy without a background check.”

I laughed.

“You think that’s funny?”

I shook my head. “No, I just want you to be happy. So if that helps.”

“Maybe I need to do everything different.”

“Maybe,” I agreed.

“Maybe I need to get my own place.”

“Maybe,” I whispered.

“I’m serious. Think about it. I’ve never actually lived alone. Ever. I’m thirty years old. And I have never lived alone. I was squished in that house with all my siblings growing up. I lived in the dorms and then here with you and Skylar. I moved out and lived with Emily. Then I married Geoff. I lived with him. And then I moved back in here with you instead of getting my own place in the city, which would have fit better with my job. I did it because I don’t know how to be alone. Or maybe I thought I wouldn’t be alone that long. I’d find someone else. But I’m not going to. So maybe I should commit to something else.”

“Commit to something that is for you?”

She sat up as the light came back into her eyes. “Yes.”

I nodded as I followed her line of thought. She was right. No commitment left her available. And maybe that was the problem. It also made her desperate. “You should do it.”

“You think? I could . . .” She drifted off in thought for a moment. “I know what I could do. Some of the girls I work with all live in the same apartment complex in Tulsa. I would have a place of my own. But it wouldn’t be completely alone.”

“Yeah, that’s true.”

“I could start with having neighbors.” She climbed off the couch, going into the bathroom to blow her nose. As she came back into the living room, the determination was there. “I’m doing this. I’m going to call the apartment office. See what they got open.”

“Good.” I smiled, feeling a little emotional. She was going to be leaving. I knew it was time. We couldn’t both stay here forever. But it didn’t make it hurt less, knowing this was good for my dear friend.

“Are you going to be okay with this?” She gave me a hug, squeezing tight and then tighter.

“Yes. I’ll be fine.”

She backed away. “Yuck. You smell.”

“I smell pretty.”

“Pretty shitty.” She laughed.

“Hmm. Maybe I won’t miss you.”

She slung an arm around my shoulders. “Nah. You’ll go through withdrawals. I’m like a drug. You don’t know how addicting I am until I’m gone.”

“Maybe you’re right.” I smiled, giving her another hug.

She grabbed her suitcase, pulling it down the hallway, laughing. “I’m your Molly. Don’t deny it.”

I shook my head before going back in the kitchen. Looking out the little window over the sink. This was good. Another thread seemed to be winding into place. Maybe after all this time, Peyton would get her life together. Maybe she would eventually get that happily ever after—after all.

Maybe we both would.

I decided to call it quits on my gardening expedition. I took a shower, scrubbing the sweat from my skin. I heard the bathroom door fly open, and I jumped, almost cutting my knee with the razor.

“
Peyton!
Get out!” I growled. This part, I would not miss.

She seemed to ignore me. “Guess what?”

“Bitch, you better start talking before I cut you.” I waved the razor above the shower curtain.

“Bitch, you better start planning my going-away party. ’Cause I just got myself an apartment.”

Sticking my head around the side, I saw my roommate doing that crazy happy dance with arms circling around that ended with hip thrusts. I laughed. “Nice. So you got the place without seeing it?”

“Yes. I’ve been in them before. I just gotta sign the paperwork.”

“Congrats.” I smiled. “This is good. And I’m really happy for you. But get the hell out of here until I’m done with my shower.”

She started another round of the happy dance, this time with chanty words. Rolling my eyes, I shut the curtain. Her voice carried over the sound of the spray as I continued to shave my legs. Peyton eventually disappeared, shutting the door behind her with a slam.

By the time I got dressed, she had left the house. I found a scribbly note on the counter about going to sign her lease and would be back later tonight. Maybe this would really work for her this time. And maybe she would have fun decorating the place. That would be good for her. We would need to go shopping since fifty-seven pairs of designer shoes didn’t count as furniture.

I heard a knock and went over to the entryway. I was still laughing at the mental image of a couch made of shoes when I pulled the door open.

The words left me. My heart lurched as I sucked in a breath, seeing the image on the steps. He was standing there, wearing that Oklahoma State baseball cap again and a white T-shirt. But my eyes were not glued to him. They were on the little boy he was holding in his arms.

“I um . . . I texted before we got here. To let you know what I was doing. But you didn’t answer. So we just stopped by anyway. I hope that’s okay.”

“It’s okay.” I nodded, struggling to breathe normally. Looking back and forth between them, I wasn’t sure what to do.

“Can you tell Katie hi?” he whispered in Sam’s ear.

“Hi.” He seemed shy as he tucked his face into Lucky’s chest, and then his neck turned a bit so he could still watch me.

I swallowed the knot in my throat. “Hi, Sam.”

“Ask her,” Lucky prompted him. They were so cute together. He’d always been good with kids. And now. It was almost more than I could handle.

Sam lifted his head up as that identical smile came naturally. “You want ice cream?”

“Do I want to come eat ice cream?”

His little head nodded. “With sprinkles.”

“Oh, you like sprinkles?”

“Yes. And sometimes worms. The stretchy worms.” His brown eyes were so vivid. So bright. So full of excitement as his fingers pulled apart an imaginary gummy worm.

I smiled, glancing back at Lucky. He leaned in, kissing me on the cheek. “You want to hold him?”

“I . . .” My eyes went back and forth between them. It all felt so real and quick, but not quick enough.

“Hey, buddy. Can Katie get a hug? She really needs a hug.” Lucky leaned in to me, giving me a half hug while I felt Sam’s arms circle around my neck. As he was holding on, I felt Lucky shift his little body over to me.

I tried to get a better grip on him. “I’m going to drop you. Hold on.”

He broke in a fit of giggles as he moved around. “But I’m a worm.”

“Yeah, you are a little worm.” His arms were still around my neck as his head rested on my shoulder. And I held him. In a tight hug. He smelled good like children’s soap and leather with oranges. I think Lucky’s cologne had rubbed off on him.

I took in a deep breath, remembering every piece of this moment.

I still believed that many different kinds of love existed in the world. Some kinds came slowly. Some were sweet and based on compassion. While others were full of wild and uncontrollable desire.

And then there’s the rare kind of love that happened in the blink of an eye.

Insta-love.

People doubted insta-love, claiming it was a mythical thing that only happened in fairytales. They didn’t believe that two people could fall in love in the blink of an eye. With one kiss. Or just one hug.

But I knew it existed. I knew because I had just felt it, deep inside my chest, the first time I held our child in my arms.

Lucky leaned over, giving me a kiss on the lips. “You ready?”

Ready for this? Maybe I really was.

“Yeah, let me get my shoes.”

Six Months Later

I
took one last walk-through of my house. I’d lived in the place since I was nineteen. I’d painted the walls twice. I’d scrubbed the floors. I’d washed the windows. And I’d paid the rent. This place was an illusion for me. This house had never actually been mine.

And now I was leaving.

His hands wrapped around my waist, pulling my back into his chest as he planted a kiss on my cheek. “You want some more time?”

“No. It’s okay.”

We walked hand in hand toward the door together. Turning around, I gave the place once last glace, seeing all the memories.

Changes happened every day. Maybe little ones buried underneath the surface that went almost undetected or maybe the large life-altering kind that sent you spinning in a direction you never saw coming. Either way, it didn’t matter. Change always caught up with you. Change eventually happened. Always.

But not all changes were bad. I know that now.

I walked outside, feeling the bright sun hit my face. It was a gorgeous day in November. The Oklahoma weather couldn’t be more perfect. All of my belongings were already at our house. Today was more of a formality. The official goodbye before the new tenants moved in tomorrow.

“Sam. Come on. We’re leaving,” I yelled back through the door.

He came running out after us, holding a little truck. “We need balloons.”

“Balloons?” I bent down, getting on his level, looking into those big brown eyes.

“You said we’re having a party at home. Parties need balloons.”

That sweet little grin melted my heart every time he gave it to me. This kid was going to be spoiled rotten. And I honestly didn’t care.

“Well, this isn’t the kind of party that has balloons.” I caught Lucky’s eye, but he just shrugged.

He was just as bad as me. Sam could ask for an ice cream truck and a Shetland pony at the party, and Lucky would stop to get those on the way home.

Sam’s face puckered up in deep thought. “What parties don’t have balloons?”

“Well . . .” I brushed the hair off his forehead and smiled. “Do you remember yesterday? When we went to the court house?”

“And we got married.” He grinned.

I laughed. “Yes. We got married.”

We eloped. Just Lucky, me, and Sam. It was simple. Over in about fifteen minutes. And I loved it. I wore the original ring on my right hand. I never wanted to forget about the first time I’d said yes. But on my left hand, I had a ring that made Peyton shriek for ten solid minutes. If that diamond ever fell out, I might just shriek and faint myself.

And today, our friends were throwing a party for us. All of them. Some new. Some old. Even Skylar and Dylan were flying in from New York for it. I was excited to see them. We’d stayed in touch over the years. She currently worked on Broadway as an assistant costume designer.

Lucky put his hands on my shoulders. “Come on, Katie. I agree with Sam. I think we should have balloons at the reception.”

“Oh, you do?”

“Yep. Let’s get in the truck. I think the grocery store sells them.”

Normal. We did normal. As best as we could. If you considered having your face on the tabloids at the grocery store as part of the normal. Yeah, that really happened too.

I still could remember standing in line with my little basket of items to make spaghetti when I saw it. My face. Not just my face, but some terrible photo they had pulled from Peyton’s online account with the headline: “Landon Evans’s Secret Love Child with Mistress
.
”

Many more followed over the next few weeks. “Landon Evans Blackmailed by Ex-Girlfriend
.
”
But that wasn’t even the best one. “Carrie Loren Warns Mistress to Stay Away
.
”
That story had a photo of the actress looking like a fire-breathing dragon as she yelled at a photo of me. So very weird.

And after all these year, that’s also how my parents finally found out about Lucky. They had never known of his existence in my life. But I guess they sold tabloids in Miami, just not airline tickets to our reception.

I didn’t let it bother me. I’d stopped caring years ago. Every person I wanted in my life was standing right here. Or would be at our house today.

Lucky had been right about one piece of this new life. Being here did provide a certain amount of normal for him. The gossip stories eventually stopped. Carrie Loren was dating some guy from her latest movie. And Landon Evans became old news. And he started blending in with the residents of this little town.

People noticed. But it’s like a pothole in the road. You saw it every day, driving around it. But eventually that glaring abnormality just becomes part of the road and you don’t even notice it.