My Russian Nightmare (12 page)

“Why’s that?”

“His father had been a general in the Red Army and to this day holds a lot of political power. Here, they could kill him. There, it’s not so easy. But my life there wasn’t bad,” he assures me. “My coming back here, however,” he shakes his head. “It set off a sequence of events I didn’t expect.”

Dimitri pauses and takes my hands in his as he continues. “Ivan knew why I was here. Or he suspected,” Dimitri shrugs. “Or he’s just a deranged motherfucker. It doesn’t much matter why he did what he did.” He squeezes my hand tight. “I came to the diner one day. You were working behind the counter.” His eyes light up with the memory, and I’m intrigued, holding on to his every word. “You were sweet and beautiful. From that moment on, the innocent love I felt for you bubbled to the surface. And it was paired with something hot and electric.”

“Did we speak? I can’t believe I didn’t recognize you.”

“No. You didn’t notice me. That’s fine though. I don’t know what I would’ve done if you did. I would’ve been too nervous and tongue-tied to speak to you. And I would’ve been crushed if you forgot me. This way, I got to see for myself that you were okay and happy, and that’s really all I came for. I could’ve gone back to my life in Russia in peace. That was my plan.”

“Why didn’t you?”

Dimitri runs a hand through his hair. “This is so fucking hard,” he says before sucking his bottom lip between his teeth and taking a long, loud breath. “That night, Ivan and a bunch of his goons had me go out on a run with them. There were seven of us in the van. Ivan said someone defaulted on loan payments and now it was time to pay up. With their lives.”

I pull away from Dimitri and hug my arms around myself. I don’t want to hear about the dark side of him. I want to forget that he’s a cold-hearted killer. I just need to remember that whatever he did, it doesn’t define him. We all make mistakes.

“That’s how you got mixed up in all this?”

“You could say that.”

“Go on.” I say, even as my suddenly sick-feeling-heart sinks to the bottom of my stomach.

“I tried to stop it. I swear I did.” The look in his eyes is killing me. It’s pained and panicked. I’ve never seen so much pain in anyone’s eyes as I’m seeing in his right now.

“What did you do?”

“Not me. I couldn’t. I wouldn’t. So Ivan and this other dickhead held me while Yuri beat the shit out of me. Broke my nose and ribs. The rest of them were completing the mission. I was still young and weak. I couldn’t fight them off.” His voice cracks with emotion. “I could barely breathe. By the time I broke away, it was too late. The whole place was engulfed in flames.”

“Flames?” He can’t be saying what I think he’s saying. “Flames?” I shriek as my eyes water.

He hangs his head and squeezes his eyes shut. “I’m so sorry.”

“Are you saying…my parents?”

He nods. “And they promised they’d do the same to you and Sammy if I didn’t stay in line and do as I was told. Your parents were the example to prove they would do it.”

Every muscle in my body is taut. I ball my hands into fists and shoot to my feet. “No. NO!”

“I’m so sorry, Kiera,” his voice cracks. “I still have nightmares about that night because there wasn’t a damn thing I could do to help them. Or you.”

“You have
nightmares
? Isn’t that wonderful. How the fuck do you think Sammy and I feel? We
live
the nightmare every single day.”

“I can’t imagine.” He reaches for my hands, but I pull them out of his grasp. “You’ll never know how sorry I am.”

I cover my face as my whole body racks with sobs. Heavy, heartbroken, heart-wrenching sobs. “You’re sorry? They killed my parents, and you stood by and watched, and you’re sorry?”

“I swear I tried to stop it, to save them—”

“LIAR!”

The back door opens. I don’t bother to check to see who it is. If this is Dimitri’s last confession before I’m slaughtered, I don’t care. I won’t fight. I won’t beg for my life. Let them kill me. Then I could be with my parents again.

“What the fuck is going on?” Sammy asks, climbing in. “Did he hurt you?” He grabs Dimitri by his shirt collar.

“I told her. Everything.”

Sammy shoves Dimitri away from him and wraps me up in his arms. “It’s okay, princess. I’m here. I’ve got you.” I lean my head against my brother’s chest and cry.

Chapter 13

Dimitri is dead to me.

I want him to be.

At least I wish he was.

I do as I’m told as we move from the ambulance to the rental as long as it means I don’t have to speak to him. Even when he tells Ana and Sammy to sit in the back so I could be up front with him, I sit there and stare out the window, making sure to keep my hands in my lap so that he won’t reach over and touch me.

It’s a little more difficult when we move to the limousine. I thought we were going for inconspicuous. Nothing says “blending in” like being delivered in an ostentatious car to wherever the hell we’re going.

I feel his eyes on me during the whole ride. He’s sitting across from me, and I know he’s waiting for the moment I look up and our eyes meet. He wants me to feel that connection between us again. I want to keep it severed and make a point to look anywhere, everywhere but at him.

“Once we get there, we’ll have driver’s licenses with our new names on them, marriage certificates, passports, and debit cards. Everything we’ll need for our new identities,” I tune Dimitri out as he’s detailing our next steps. 

Oh. My. God.

The limousine driver turns down a narrow road and stops in front of a set of black wrought-iron gates. He opens his window and speaks in what I assume is Russian, and like magic the gates part, allowing us to continue on our journey.

I haven’t spoken much since Dimitri’s confession back in the ambulance. Not to him, not to Sammy. I’ve barely spoken at all. Instead I’ve been glued to my brother’s side. Thinking. Waiting. Waiting for what, I’m still not sure. Waiting for a way to escape? Waiting until we get to wherever it is they’re taking us?

We drive up a long, winding, bush-and-tree-lined driveway. The car follows the road at least a mile to the circular path that ends in front of a set of double doors adorning the entrance of the most exquisite house I’ve ever seen. No, scratch that. Not a house. A mansion.

“Welcome to Nebraska,” Sammy mutters.

“What is this place?” I ask, taking in the size and grandeur of the brick structure in front of me.

“This is home,” Dimitri answers as the driver comes around and opens his door. 

Sammy and I exchange a look as Ana and Dimitri get out but make no move to leave the vehicle ourselves. The door closes. I’m relieved, thinking maybe Sammy and I will be brought somewhere else. The last thing I want is to become any more ensconced in Dimitri’s world. I want to break away, and a clean break would be best.

The driver comes to our side of the car and reaches for the door, but Dimitri stops him and does it himself.

“Come on, Kiera,” Dimitri tells me. “It’s time to meet your new life.”

“Great, except I don’t want a new life. I want my old one. The one where I was a happy teenage girl who had to fight her parents for every ounce of freedom. This place isn’t my home, and it isn’t going to erase my memories.”

I look to Sammy’s grey eyes for strength. Although the drive has been long and tedious, it’s afforded him more time to heal. If not for the bruising of the skin on his face and the fact that he’s been napping so much, I wouldn’t know offhand that he’d been beaten so bad.

My brother jerks his head toward the car door, telling me without using words to get out and see what’s going on.

Dimitri reaches for my hand. I pull it away before he can grasp it, but his fingers brush against mine, and my skin tingles and my nerves vibrate. Damn my stupid body. Doesn’t it understand it needs to stop reacting to him?

“You might as well stop fighting. You know you can’t resist me.” But his voice doesn’t sound as confident as his words. Good. I’ll play on that.

“Oh yeah?” I ask, praying he can’t see how much the simple touch rattled me. “Watch me.”

He doesn’t say anything. Instead, he smirks.

Shit. He’s right, and he proved it right there. I can’t resist him. Because even though I’m furious, I’m compelled to spar, to stand off against, to stand beside him.

“See? You can’t help yourself.”

I don’t know if he’s being funny or just plain cocky. It pisses me off that I don’t know anything about him, and that’s what frustrates me the most. The only thing I’ll ever know is the illusion he’s putting forth at the moment. His face “du jour,” so to speak.

Frustrated, I move around to Sammy’s other side, inserting him between us in the hopes of keeping Dimitri from touching me. I’m fine as long as I don’t speak to him. Or look at him. Or touch him.

Dimitri leads the way, with Ana following close behind him. I wrap my hand around Sammy’s arm because I need something to hold on to, and Dimitri is off limits.

Before we even climb the brick steps leading to the front door, it opens. An attractive older woman stands there waiting to greet us. I look back over my shoulder. The driver follows behind us. At the moment, it feels very much like I’ve been transferred from a hellhole to a very pricey, high-class prison suite.

The woman is all smiles as she speaks to Dimitri in Russian. Ana steps up and includes herself in the conversation. I don’t understand a word being said, and it’s pissing me off. Why doesn’t he tell her to speak in English the way he did with Ana? Maybe this is his way of returning my cold shoulder? Laughing, the woman leads the way into the house.

My mouth opens and my chin slams against the stunning marble tile beneath my feet. The grand entrance is at least two stories high, full of windows and decorative drapery. Intricate crown molding frames the room. Instead of a chest of drawers in the foyer, a tall armoire stands in the center of the large entranceway. Beside it is a full-length, free-standing mirror, the frame of which has been exquisitely carved.

The staircase has a landing, at which point you can continue up by taking the steps on the right side or the left, both ending at opposite ends of what looks from here like an open sitting area. I feel out of place even standing in this house. Looking back at the solid wood doors, I notice two very tall vases on either side of them holding fresh flowers. I don’t know how long Dimitri plans on keeping me here, but I don’t feel like I should even be walking into this place.

“Inna, please show Ana and Sammy to their rooms.”

“Da,” the older woman says before leading the way.

“Kiera?” Sammy asks, looking between Dimitri and me.

“Stay.” I use my eyes to beg him not to leave me alone.

“Give us a minute. Please,” Dimitri asks, ignoring me. “You know I won’t hurt her.”

Sammy looks between us, and I can’t believe he’s even considering leaving me with Dimitri. “If you need me—”

“She’ll be fine,” Dimitri snaps, then softens his tone. “I promise.”

With a long sigh and a reluctant look on his face, my brother turns and heads up the stairs.

Tears of anger sting my eyes. Another betrayal. I thought at least I could count on Sammy. I didn’t think he’d turn out to have such a traitorous heart. I turn toward the front doors, searching for the courage to walk through them and never come back.

Fuck the consequences.

I need to leave this place. Leave Dimitri.

I take a step, but that’s as far as I get before I feel his solid arms wrap around my waist and pull me against his rock hard chest.

“You’re not leaving,” he whispers in my ear before nibbling on my lobe. His warm breath tickles me, causing goose bumps to form on the surface of my skin.

“I don’t belong here.”

“Of course you do. I bought this house for you.”

“Me?”

“Well, the four of us really. All four of our names are on the deed.” His arms tighten around me at the same time his words tighten around my heart, giving it a good, long squeeze. A wave of warmth surges through my body.

I know I should push his arms off me and free myself from his embrace, but I can’t. Not because of his strength. I’m somewhat convinced that if I fight to get away from him, he’ll comply and let me go. I don’t do any of the things I should simply because I don’t want to. My head tells me to run from him, but my heart, my wayward heart, aches for him.

Dimitri turns me around in his arms and locks his eyes on mine. He runs his fingers through my hair, and I’m a jumbled mess of contradictions. I tremble with both fear and desire as I stare at him. I’m afraid to let my guard down and trust him, but I want to stay in his arms and borrow his warmth and strength.

“On paper, we’re married. You and I, and Sammy and Ana. You also have your own checking account with twenty thousand dollars in it.”

“I can’t take your money. I won’t be paid for sex and—”  

“I don’t expect you to be my personal sex slave. The house, the account, they aren’t much, but it’s my way of trying to give back to you and Sammy a little piece of what’s been stolen from you.”

My stupid heart races. I hate that I have no control of my body when he holds me close. I’m sure he can feel my heart pounding fast and hard against him. I recognize his desire in the way his fingers linger on my skin and in the hunger in his eyes as they crawl over me, soaking me in. Both make me tingle inside and out.

“I’ll give you time, Kiera. I promise. The house is big enough that you can have your space and avoid me. But this
is
your home.”

“You keep saying that. What does that even mean? Home is more than a building. It’s where your heart and memories are.”

He strokes my cheek with his knuckles. His touch is so soft and gentle, I can’t believe this is the same person that butchered those men. I remind myself that he did it for me. Their intentions were anything but pure, and if he hadn’t found the strength to fight them after being shot and beaten, I might be the one dead.

I want to hate him because I think I should. That I’m supposed to. But no matter how hard I try, I don’t.
Dimitri is my hero.

“Come.” His hand slips into mine. “Let me show you to your room. Yes?”

I hesitate a moment before nodding my head and walking up the steps beside him.

*

  “We need to get a few things straight,” Dimitri says, leading me up the set of steps deviating to the right and down that hall. “You’re not my prisoner. But for the time being, I’m still concerned for your safety. If you leave here, it’s either with me or Max until Sammy’s stronger.”

“Max?”

“Our driver. He’ll protect you if need be.”

“We have a driver? I mean, he wasn’t hired just for the day to bring us here?”

“No. He works for us.”

Funny, I have no idea who “us” refers to, and I’m afraid to find out.

“Just because I’m a woman doesn’t mean I need a male chaperone everywhere I go.”

“It’s not because you’re a woman, Kukla.” He stops in front of a door and uses those large brown eyes of his to make a point. “It’s because I want to make sure you’re safe, and right now I don’t know if anyone in the organization is going to try and get revenge for Yuri and the other guys I killed. With us gone, there is no doubt who did it, and I went through hell to save your life, I’m damn sure not willing to gamble with it.”

Dimitri opens the door in front of us. The room is large and majestic and broken into two parts. The main section holds a bed and furniture while the other part offers a sitting area set off on the side. Both areas of the room have their own vaulted ceiling with recessed lighting. The sitting area is furnished with a recliner and loveseat facing a fireplace and a fully stocked ceiling-to-floor bookcase on the wall behind them.

Everything in here is beautiful. The king-sized bed is high off the floor and encased in sheer curtains. It’s like my dream bed when I was a little girl, only I never lost the dream. I used to believe beds like this were magic and made only for real princesses.

Music boxes and trinkets line the dresser of drawers against the wall opposite the bed. They’re mine from my room back home. I recognize one with a dancing ballerina on top. My mother bought it for me for my fifth birthday. I’ve always treasured it, but it’s not the one calling out to me.

I pick up a musical snow globe with floating glitter and a unicorn in the middle. There’s the tiniest chink in the thick glass in the exact spot where it should be. It’s my favorite. It was a gift from Dante before he left.

“You remember?” I ask.

“Everything,” he answers with his chest heaving. “Every minute we spent together. Every conversation we ever had. Then and now.”

My eyes well up with tears. I can’t look at him because it hurts too much. “I’m sorry, Dimitri. This is just…I don’t know what I’m feeling.”

His pointer finger rests on my lips, quieting me. “I understand.”

But the disappointment in his eyes says something else. He drops his eyes to the floor, and it’s breaking my heart. Why the hell can’t I just throw my arms around him and let all the pain and betrayal go?

He leads me to a large walk-in closet that’s half the size of my college dorm. “You have a whole new wardrobe. I only took a few of your old clothes to hold us over until we got here, but all the important things you treasure, Sammy and I made sure to have here waiting for you.”

“You thought of everything, didn’t you?”