My Side (33 page)

He grinned, stealing
my heart all over again, “No way.”

The next day we all
stood and watched our best friends get married. They declared their love for
each other in the sweetest of ways. Dean had gotten a ring made with his
favorite line from one of their songs, “Save my soul from the seconds we’re
apart”; Gerry got the band to perform a song he wrote for him. I cried way too
much and waited for the bottom to fall out of our perfection, it always did.

Bunnies and brownies

The moment it all
changed, happened in front of everyone. The doctor rubbed the wand over my bare
belly, pushing into it. The jelly he had rubbed on there was cold and sticky.

The rapid beat filled
the room and everyone burst into tears and gasps. We did it in Nashville at the
home where Judith was. She cried and punched letters like crazy.

Alex read it, “I am so
proud of both of you for finding your way back to each other.”

I sniffled and felt
the beat within my body.

“I think we got us a
drummer!” Gerry laughed.

Mike scowled, “No way,
bass for sure.”

I closed my eyes and
felt Loch’s hand on mine. He squeezed hard, “I love you, baby.”

The doctor smiled,
“I’ll say you’re about fifteen weeks along. How much have you gained?”

I shook my head, “None
yet.”

Lochlan nodded, “She’s
been a crazy woman about her food.”

The doctor shook his
head, “The first three months, it’s common for women not to gain anything, but
from here on out, I need you to maintain the calories on the piece of paper
I’ve got here, and make sure you’re getting those food groups. Okay?”

I nodded.

“The less fat in your
diet, the less brain development in your baby.”

“Okay.” I knew nothing
about babies and the books scared me. I couldn’t read them. I didn’t even
really want sex anymore, after what I’d read in the last one.

He wiped me down and
let me get up. “Everything sounds normal, but your sonogram at 19 weeks will be
the photo shoot.”

I smiled, “Thanks for
doing it here.”

He nodded, “Anytime.”

I got off the table
and let everyone hug me. Lochlan wrapped his arms around me, “You ready for
tomorrow?”

I nodded and looked
back at him, “I am.”

He attacked his mom,
“You’re gonna be a grandma.” She smiled. She was gaining back little bits of
movements. Living in the home was helping tremendously. She had full physio
every week and constant care.

I kissed her goodbye
and left with Dean, Lise, and Lissie. We went to the hotel room while Alex,
Mike, Danny, Leon, and Gerry went with Loch to take his mom back to her room.

We had done everything
in the few weeks we had to organize. Having money helped a lot. When money was
no object, people just said yes.

Dean looked at me,
“Did you ever hear why Lochlan beat that guy up on the show?”

I nodded, “Yeah.”

“It came out to the
press yesterday. Look.” He laid down his iPad. I read the article, “Wow. That
Andrew guy really thinks a lot of Loch.”

Dean nodded, “I do
too. I never knew that was why he did it.”

I nodded, “I only just
found out. He let me believe he was jealous of the guy winning.”

He shook his head,
“Wow.”

Lissie nodded “Yeah,
we were sworn to secrecy on it. I hated listening to everyone talking shit
about him, when they didn’t have clue.”

Lise shrugged, “I
always thought it made him hotter to be so crazy and unpredictable.”

I smiled at her, when
Dean and Lissie gave her a confused stare.

A knock on the door
interrupted their judgments. Dean answered and was instantly cougar-attacked by
my mom, “Oh myyyy. You must be in the band.”

I rolled my eyes,
“Mom, this is professor Dean. He’s married to Gerry.”

She blushed, “Ohhhh
right. Of course he is. How is young Gerry?” She got a predatory look in her
eyes. Dean stepped back. I laughed, “He’s married and happy.”

She smiled, “Well,
anyway. Congratulations. And how is the bride to be?”

I smiled, “Good.
Little tired, but I’m good.”

“How is my little
grandbaby?” she actually talked to my belly, or even my vagina, depending on
the angle you were at.

“Good. We heard the
heartbeat today.”

She looked up from my
low, low abdomen, “Was it high or low? There’s some old wives tale about that.”

I shook my head, “I
don’t know. It sounded fast.”

Lissie nodded, “To me
it was really fast.”

Dean nodded, “Yeah. I
know right.”

Lise laughed, “I
thought that too, but then he said it was normal.”

My mom stared at us
like we were insane, “Of course it’s faster,
you
didn’t know that?”

We all shrugged and
shook our heads. We slept in the room, all of us, but mom. She was oddly fast
to leave, for her. She usually hovered and it got awkward.

I heard a light knock
at the door. I slipped out of the bed and answered. Lochlan stood there,
looming in the doorway. He looked down on me and smiled, “I needed to see you
two.”

I smiled back, “Hi.”

“Did you eat?”

I nodded, “Just some
room service.”

He pulled a brown bag
from behind his back, “I brought you fudgy-brownie swirl!”

I closed the door with
a shoe in it, not mine, and sat in the hallway with him. We sat beside each
other. He pulled off the lid and passed me the spoon. I dipped it in and took
the first bite. I closed my eyes and let the flavor of the fudge ice cream melt
across my tongue, “Mmmmmmm. I wuv yew.”

He laughed and took
the spoon, “I know you do.”

I looked at the ring
on my finger and nodded, “You’re cool, if I just keep it a sapphire right?”

He smirked. My smile
dropped right off my face, “Was it ever a sapphire?”

He shook his head, “I
was seriously going to ask you that night. I know your ex had tainted the
insta-love for you, but I wanted you to be mine. Your face when I pulled out
that box was sheer horror. So I came up with a super-fast lie. You bought it
and I got my ring on your finger.”

I stole back the
spoon, “No fudgy-swirl for you.”

He laughed, “You can’t
get mad about old shit.”

“I can and I will. I
can even overreact, thanks to the baby bunny.”

He gave me a look,
“Baby bunny?”

I felt my face
burning, “Yeah. So?”

He bent down and
kissed my belly, “I love you.”

I smiled and let him
kiss the small roll we were both pretending was baby, but was more like
coconut-cream pie from before.

I leaned into him when
he sat up, “You see the news article about Andrew?”

He nodded, “Yeah. He
called and told me he was doing it. I told him not to worry, but he said he had
taken the coward’s path or some crap. Anyway, he came out to his family.”

I smiled, not looking
at him, “At least he got the chance. At least that
wanker,
never got to out him.”

“Agreed.”

“You nervous about
tomorrow?”

He looked down on me,
“No. You?”

I shook my head, “No.
It’s bizarre but I’m not. I should be. I didn’t want any of this and now it
feels like I always wanted it.”

He kissed my temple,
“Maybe you just didn’t know you did.”

I nodded, “Maybe.” I
sighed, “Maybe it just needed you in the equation, to make me want it.”

He lifted me off the
floor and kissed me sweetly. I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him
like I meant it. He growled, “Not here.”

“Fine.” I kissed him
goodnight, getting lost in his eyes. He pushed me inside, “You need sleep for
you and the baby bunny.”

I closed the door and
sighed against it. My heart was full from him and some ice cream, and a
hallway. I never knew I was such a simple person.

The next day, swathed
in a princess-cut, strapless wedding dress and a huge grin, my dad gripped my
arm. He kissed my cheek,
 
“You
ready, kid?”

I nodded.

He beamed, “You look
beautiful.”

I laughed and rubbed
my still
fairly-flat
stomach, “Can you tell it’s a
shotgun wedding?”

He shook his head,
“No. It’s not anyway, he asked me for my permission last November. He’s had it
since.”

I frowned, “He did?”

He nodded, “You two
belong together. Just like me and your mother do.”

I made face, “You’re
back together?”

He nodded, “Yeah.
Something about visiting Nashville affected us both. We saw how selfish we were
being. We compromised. Winters in the city, summers in the country, and spring
and fall is whatever.”

I laughed, “Wow. Is
that my wedding gift?”

He laughed, “No.”

The music started and
my dad frowned, “You’re walking to Bob Dylan?”

I nodded, “Shelter
From The Storm has special meaning for us.”

“Weird, I guess
though, musicians are different.”

I kissed his cheek,
“Let’s do this.”

We walked down the
aisle slowly, I never really noticed though. I was stuck on the dark-blue eyes
in front of me. His expression was getting darker with every step I took. His
face was all I saw. He shook my dad’s hand as my dad kissed my cheek. I took
Loch’s hand and let him pull me to the minister.

I barely recalled the
words I spoke, the eyes had me mesmerized. The next thing I knew he kissed me.
I melted into him. He dropped to his knee and kissed my stomach, whispering
things to it. I smiled at him.

As we walked down the
aisle, he whispered, “Mrs. Barlow, how are you feeling?”

I smiled, “Good. I’m
married to this super-cheesy guy, but it’s good.”

He kissed my cheek.

I finished setting up
the
kitchen,
everything was where I wanted it. I
wondered how long it would stay that way.

“Come see.”

I looked up. He was
standing in the hall in cargo shorts and a baby-blue tee shirt. I sighed
looking at his tattoos and muscles. I looked down at my belly and rubbed it.

“Erin, I swear to God,
you have to see this.”

I followed him,
waddling out into the hot,
summer
night. Kids were
playing on the cul-de-sac and people were mowing their lawns. It was the
furthest thing from a condo downtown New
York, that
I
could imagine. It was a house in the burbs, down the road from Alex, Lissie,
Gerry, Danny, and Mike. We had become those barbecue people who were exhausted
by ten at night.

I got out into the
yard and snarled, maybe even hissed like a vampire, when I saw what he wanted
to show me. It was hideous. I covered my mouth, about to cry, but he wrapped
his arms around me, “Just give it a chance. I swear I’ll buy you the sports
car, one day, but for safety features this is the shit. I mean who knew BMW
made a minivan?”

I shook my head, “I’m
twenty-five, not forty. I hate it. Take it back.”

He pulled me back,
“Princess, you have to check it out before you hate it. There’s a damned movie
theatre in there.”

I tilted my head, “You
are a liar.”

His voice rose, “I
swear to God, it’s a fucking movie theatre.”

My hand shot out,
pointing at him, “What did I say about swearing?”

He put his hands out,
“Deep breaths. Just take deep breaths.” He dragged me to the van and opened the
large, sliding door. He shoved me inside gently, since I was liable to burst. I
climbed into the seat. He started the van and turned on the air conditioning.
It blew down on me from the roof. He pressed buttons and instantly Fear and
Loathing in Las Vegas started to play.

I gave him a look. He
shrugged, “We don’t have kids movies yet.”

I watched the movie
and nestled into the chair. I sighed and gave him a look, “This is pretty
cool.”

He leaned in for a
kiss, “So when I leave tomorrow for London, you’ll take it for a drive. Get
used to being in a mommy mobile?”

I sneered, “Don’t call
it that.”

He laughed, “Baby
steps.”

I pointed at the
screen, “That I like.”

He nodded, “I told
you. I’m having a rockin’ week. Double platinum for our first non indie album
and now this sweet ride.” I rolled my eyes but he leaned in, brushing his lips
against mine, “Did I also tell you how pretty you are and how lucky I am?”