My Soul Keeper (28 page)

“What’s a Shamar?”

“What’s a Shamar?
”

“What’s a Shamar?”

“What’s a Shamar?”

Those words haunt me; torment my thoughts like an echo of pain repeating through my mind as if it were a hollow tunnel. After decades of not really feeling anything, Simone crashed into my soul with a tidal wave of emotions I had never felt, or knew I could feel. It was like being woken up after being asleep for eternity. My love for her was instant, I realise that now. It was like my soul awoke because it sensed hers, as soon as her flowery scent fused with my senses, her voice played like the sweetest music to my ears, her light warmed my skin, her beauty stole my breath, and her heart branded itself on mine. I felt it awaken my soul.

Her pure soul, beauty, and huge heart were the rarest, most precious gift ever to grace this Earth, and yet she chose to love me. The son of death, the soul keeper that took her brother. Even when I was forced to become Death, she still loved me. She will forever own my soul because of it.

I couldn’t even turn around when she asked who I was. To look into those deep blue crystal eyes of hers and not see her love for me reflected in them would have ended me. So I just got up and walked out. I called to Michael and Gabriel, but no one came. I tried to go to Heaven, but I’ve been locked out. I wanted to rebel, stop doing my job of collecting the souls of the dead, but I couldn’t. It’s like a necessity. I can put it off for a few hours, but after a while, I get a pain in my head, like screaming that’s constant. Names build up at an incredible speed, flittering in my mind like a record on repeat. The longer I leave a soul, the more pain I feel when the name reappears in my mind.

So, I continue to collect the souls. I hoped to get some information from the angel who comes to transport the light souls to Heaven, but it was like she was mute.

I’ve continued to watch over Simone, unseen from her, in my obscure form that makes me feel empty inside. I once thought that maybe she got the better deal, to not remember our love, but that lasted only seconds. I would rather live my life in mourning of our love than not to have known it. The touch of her hair, the feel of her skin, the heat from her soul, the taste of her kiss, the sound of her pleasure when we made love… they will forever be written on my soul and will last me for all eternity.

I watch her sleep and calm her as she’s been having nightmares. She still grieves for the family she lost. I’ve been waiting for Lucas to make a move, but he hasn’t. Everything’s been quiet; it’s unnerving, like everyone has closed up and gone on vacation.

Liam and I are trying to find a way to free Charmeine from Purgatory, but we’re drawing empty plans that leave us both frustrated. Liam has been staying with Simone and Jacob at Jacob’s lake house, trying to insure that Simone doesn’t use her abilities by accident.

Jacob and Liam’s voices fade until they’re only a hum in the air. I continue walking until there’s nothing but the sound of my own breathing filling my ears. The sun glows bright in the sky, worshipping the skin I have on display.

I look out at the lake; it seems so still, peaceful. Jacob and Liam are no longer even in view. There’s nothing, no one. I notice the trees are cast in shadow; the darkness from the shadows begins creeping toward me, like an open wound bleeding out, coating everything in its path. The heavens open and golden drops of rain lit up by the sun beat down against my skin and the ground, chasing away the dark shadows.

The rain beats down hard, awakening the calm lake, moving it like a beat from a speaker, a sound wave rippling the water. It comes down so heavy that it’s hard to see, but there’s a figure in front of me, on the lake. I shake my head to clear it but the figure’s still there. I try to clear the rain from my eyes as I step toward the figure, following the length of the large deck Jacob had built. It’s high up, several feet above the water for diving.

“Sweet Simone,” I hear whispered on the light breeze. I walk closer, looking out over the lake. Brown eyes look back at me.

“What are you doing? How are you standing on the water?” I call out, confused. I watch as the water begins to bubble, like boiling water on the stove. Steam billows from the surface. My heart begins to hammer against my chest and my body begins to tremble.

“Never show them your beauty, Simone. Only ever look up.”

The warm comforting voice plagues my mind. I look up to the sky and the rain flutters across my face. I open my eyes and looking down into mine are the most mesmerising turquoise eyes. Calm floods my body.

“Simone, baby.” I hear Jacob at the end of the pier, calling me. I close my eyes, hoping to drown him out.

“SIMONE!”

My eyes fly open to see Jacob kneeling beside my bed, his hands stroking my arm. I look to the end of the bed where Liam is standing; it was he who shouted my name.

“I’m sorry. I was dreaming,” I mutter.

“It’s okay, Simone. I’m going to get in with you, okay?” Liam asks.

“I can sleep with her, Liam,” Jacob offers, but Liam has already pulled on a t-shirt and sweatpants and is climbing in the bed.

“She needs affection and comfort without someone trying to get in her pants, Jacob.” Liam’s tone borders on angry.

“Whatever, Liam. It was a kiss, I wasn’t trying anything. Why do you care so much anyway? Leah will be here tomorrow. Don’t you think she will have a problem with this?”

“I don’t give a fuck, Jacob. She’s Simone’s best friend so she will understand.”

I feel the dampness on my cheeks. “Was I crying again?”

Jacob drops back down beside me. He shuffles about awkwardly with his damaged leg.

“Yeah, baby, you were.” It turns my stomach every time he calls me baby. I don’t know why, he has always called me that, but since he cheated on me at a party with Mia, I feel like I woke up and realised we weren’t right for each other. His indiscretion was a blessing really.

“Please don’t argue. I’m okay to sleep alone,” I tell them, but reality is I hate sleeping alone. I’ve been having nightmares. I know that my parent’s deaths are a lot for someone to get over, but it’s more than that. I feel empty, like my very soul is weeping for a loss I’ve not yet known, like true heartbreak. Yet I’ve never been truly in love. I loved Jacob, but I never was in love with him. Liam brings me comfort, but I feel his love for me on a different level. We are like family. Besides, he is crazy in love with my best friend.

“That smell…”

I lean over him and inhale deep. The scent on his shirt is so familiar. It makes my heart flutter and brings me instant calm. I lay my head on his chest and breathe in the scent. Jacob leaves the room. He’s using a crutch still and it breaks my heart to watch him suffer. He’s a wonderful athlete; it seems like a cruel joke.

My eyes drift closed and I fall into a peaceful sleep.

I watch as Liam crawls into Simone’s bed wearing my shirt again; it’s the only time she sleeps without bad dreams. I hate the fact that Liam gets to have her wrapped around him when it should be me, but I’d rather him than Jacob. Jacob slept with her one night after a bad dream and he tried his luck by kissing her. She shut him down, but I still wanted to rip his heart from his chest and stick it in a meat grinder. The Angels altered her reality on what occurred in their past, removing Gabrielle.

I go to work so I can come back to her when the sun rises. I like to watch it caress her skin in a warm glow as it bleeds through the window.

I didn’t make it back in time to watch the sun rise and creep through the room and over her skin today. It was a busy night for collecting souls.

Simone’s still a vision, lying there already bathed in the sun’s love. Her arm is splayed across Liam’s chest and her head is resting on him. I can’t lie and say it’s not painful because it feels like pins and needles in my heart. She’s smiling in her sleep and I wonder what she’s dreaming about. Her hand begins to move, rubbing up and down Liam’s stomach. My fists clench when I notice his morning wood.

I poke him in the arm, hard, without moving him, so it doesn’t wake Simone. His brow furrows. He opens his eyes and sees me staring down at him with murder in my stare. I point down to his groin area and scowl at him; he notices what I mean and his eyebrows shoot up nearly to his hairline. He looks down at Simone’s face, then her hand rubbing up and down his body, and he freaks out, practically throwing her out of the bed. I vanish from sight but stay in the room as Simone screeches, nearly tumbling from the bed. Liam leaps out like the mattress is on fire.

“Oh my God, what is it? Are you okay?” Simone asks in a panicked tone. Liam mumbles something about everything being fine as he closes himself in the en suite bathroom. When I appear behind him, he sees me in the mirror. He’s leaning both hands on the sink.

“Don’t fucking say anything. You know I can’t control that and it was mortifying more than anything,” he says. If rage wasn’t boiling through my jealous veins maybe I’d feel for him.

He’s watching me through the mirror and he’s not happy.

“That’s low, Shamar. I sleep with her wearing your clothes to stop her nightmares because I love her like a sister. I can’t control my body from getting morning wood. I could be sleeping with you and that shit would still happen. It’s not sexual and you know it.”

I do know it, it’s just my pathetic mind that’s angry.

“Liam, who you talking to? Are you sure you’re okay?” Simone’s musical voice floats through the door.

“I’m fine. Go have breakfast. Leah will be here soon.”

“Okay,” she whispers.

Those mesmerising eyes filled my dreams again; it’s the only time I don’t feel empty, broken. I skip the kitchen and head straight for the back door. The grass tickles my bare feet and the morning dew frosts against my heated skin. I breathe in the damp air.

Heavy clouds roll in across the sky. I feel like I could just disappear, vanish into air, or float up and become a cloud.

“Hey baby.” Jacob breaks me from my thoughts.

“Hey,” I whisper dropping my eyes to my feet.

“So the dorms are opening today, huh?”

I smile up at him and nod. I know I should be trying to move forward, but I feel like a dark cloud has positioned itself over my heart, pelting down cold raindrops against it. His hands brush my skin on my arms.