My Stupid Girl (17 page)

“I really don’t know.” Although she met my
gaze with sad, puppy dog eyes, her voice had a faint tint of a whine to it that
re-kindled my anger.

“Then forget it, Lucy.” I wanted to go
home. 

“What? Why won’t you tell me why you’re
upset?” She put her hands on her hips and glared at me, almost scolding. I
shrugged my shoulders; I wasn’t interested in talking about this anymore. I
didn’t want to spell it all out for her in a poorly lit bowling alley alcove.

She looked frustrated but stood her ground. 

“Do you want to go?” She spoke firmly.

“Yes,” I said quickly, not even trying to
hide the eagerness in my voice. Lucy was staring at my face, her eyebrows
raised in concern. 

“Let me get my things. Will you talk to me
in the car?” Her voice got a little lighter, infused with hope.

“Sure, whatever." She smiled weakly
and walked back to the lane where her friends were sitting, eating pizza. 

“Don’t worry about her,” a strong voice
behind me said. I turned around and there was Rachel. 

“I’m not worried about her.” I tried to
match Rachel’s firm tone. I didn’t quite get it.

“Well that’s good. You’re in the minority
here, I think.” She said, casting a look at the guys already starting to swarm
Lucy. When I turned back, Rachel was just standing casually, comfortably,
looking at me. She had on a form-fitting pair of blue jeans, a curve-hugging
red sweater, and high brown boots. Her insanely awesome hair was still insanely
awesome.

I put my hands in my pocket and looked at
the ground.

“Do you know where the bathroom is?” I
blurted out the first thing that came to mind, desperate to get away.

“Yeah, it’s right there, under the
‘Restroom’ sign.” She grinned as she pointed, her face lighting up with humor,
instead of the mockery I’d expected. I slunk off, following her pointing arm.

What was it with her? Rachel was stressing
me out with her random glances and now her weird attempt at conversation. And
all this was on top of being increasingly irritated with Lucy. I just needed to
get home and have a minute to myself. 

It was amazing how, a few hours ago, I
would have done anything for Lucy.

Now I just needed to get away from her. 

Did she really not know that she was
flirting with everyone in sight? I couldn’t figure it out; she seemed smart, so
I couldn’t really believe she was that clueless about the effect she had on
every male in sight. So what was it? Did she just like the attention? For
whatever reason, my attention was obviously not enough for her.

Lucy was naturally unstoppable and
extraordinary, but she was giving her heart to everyone. Even Mike said that it
had been something that he didn’t like but he dealt with it to be with her. I
didn’t know if I could do that. I wasn’t as confident as he was. 

I didn’t know if it would work with Lucy,
long term. Even though it killed me, I had to admit it. I would always be over
thinking every touch and every word Lucy spoke to anyone else. If we were
together, I’d want to be the center of her attention. I really didn’t want to
spend every night out fighting with myself not to feel jealous. I left the
bathroom feeling miserable, drying my hands on my pants because there were no
paper towels.

I saw Rachel standing in front of the
vending machine. 

“Stupid machine,” she muttered while
rapidly pushing one button several times.

“What’s wrong?” I asked.

“Oh, I put a dollar in this machine and I
think it ate it.” She pressed on the button a few more times.

“The soda is cheaper up front in the
restaurant.” I was trying to hide my surprise that she even wanted a soda. It
probably had six whole grams of fat. Or something.

“Yeah, I didn’t want people to know I was
buying one.” She smiled sheepishly at me. 

I walked over and pushed the button a few
times and hit the side. Nothing happened. I took out my wallet and fed the
machine another dollar. A cola dropped to the tray with ease. I picked it up
and handed it to her, hyper-aware of the feeling of a lump in my throat.

“Thanks, David.” She was careful to touch
my fingers as she took the soda from my hand. I pulled my arm back
convulsively.

“Yeah, it’s ok.” I turned around,
determined to go find Lucy. I felt miserable and needed to figure out what was
going on. 

“Hey.” Rachel stopped me by putting her
hand on my arm. I flinched a little under her touch but tried to hide it by
patting my hair down. She spoke again: “I was just wondering if you were okay?
You look upset.” Her eyebrows went up, concerned. “Can I help?” 

“I’m fine.” I wanted to shake off her hand
but felt like it would be obvious and mean, for some reason.

“You know, David, everyone loves Lucy.” Her
voice was low and sweet. “I wouldn’t worry too much about it. She obviously
likes you.” Her hand was still on mine. I guess she was a mind reader, too.
Either that or it was totally obvious to everyone how much Lucy was flirting
with everyone else.

“Yeah.” I didn’t know what to say. 

“You know, I always have a hard time
opening these, could you help me?” She pulled my arm so I was facing her, then
handed me the can. As I flicked open the soda tab from Hades, Rachel stood very
close to me. She smelled amazing. Her hair was shooting off rays of a wondrous
scent.

Her face was very close to mine, just a
little shorter than me without heels. I tried to hand her the coke but she
wouldn’t take it. She stepped closer to me still, well into my personal space.
She was invading. I almost spilled the soda on her from surprise. 

I could feel her body near mine and it
freaked me out.

“What are you doing?” I managed to squeak
out, short of breath, torn by teenage hormones and a lasting, confused loyalty
to Lucy. Rachel didn’t answer me.

She leaned forward as she went up on her
tiptoes. Her breath brushed across my cheek just before her lips met mine. The
shock of her soft, glossed lips touching mine immediately triggered several
opposing urges. The thought of pushing her away was the strongest, but my arms
wouldn’t let me. Then there was the irresistible urge to kiss her back. Her
beautiful, perfect eyes were closed and just millimeters from mine. All I had
to do was just lean in, obey my arms and grab her slender waist, and pull her
into a real, we-are-totally-making-out kiss. I could feel those long lashes
touching my face. Everything about this girl felt as beautiful as it looked.

Then my brain, without any prompting from
me, imagined the girl kissing me was Lucy. 

Spell broken.

I moved my face to the side so Rachel would
release my lips. In the few short moments it took for the world to refocus, I
heard Lucy give a loud laugh somewhere in the distance, and a guy’s answering
laugh. I felt numb. 

I closed my eyes and reached out for Rachel
without really thinking. I put my hand on her waist and pulled her towards me.
I pressed my lips on hers angrily. I felt Rachel, the beautiful girl, melting
into me, relaxing. Her hands were behind my back, pushing me even closer to
her. I felt her lips smile without breaking contact.

I put more pressure on Rachel’s lips just
as she started to back away.  

“What are you doing?!” I heard a female
voice say loudly. I pulled my head away from Rachel, bewildered to see a
scandalized look in her eyes. She slowly pulled back her hand and then slapped
me with all of her strength.

She stormed away, amidst clouds of outrage.
I stood there, holding the spot on my face that Rachel hit. Shock was washing
over me. I saw nothing but red; I was so angry I felt my hands start to shake.
I looked down at the soda spilled on the ground, then up again at the bowling
lanes where Rachel was talking to Lucy. Rachel had her hands up on her own
chest, tears pouring from her eyes. She reached down and hugged Lucy. 

I turned around and headed out the
emergency exit without waiting to see Lucy’s response. The cold of the night
air hit me like a wall. I instantly smelled cigarette smoke and walked towards
it. I turned the corner and saw Isaiah sitting on a box like a big lump of
black in the middle of white snow. I snapped my fingers as I walked toward him
and held out my hand, still trying to control my temper and losing the battle. 

Isaiah reached into his pocket and pulled
out a fresh box of cigarettes. He threw it to me; I pulled one out and lit it
with the matches squeezed into the back of the pack. I inhaled deeply, feeling
an instant rush of calm, then a dull buzz. I hadn’t smoked since I had moved to
my grandma’s. I hadn’t wanted her to find out and be disappointed in me, but
right then I could have cared less about anyone or anything.

“Whoa, what happened to you?” Isaiah asked
slowly, taking a drag from his own cigarette.

“You wouldn’t even believe me if I told
you,” I answered miserably.

“Upset at Lucy for being flirty?”

I shook my head in amazement. Isaiah was a
cool guy. He reminded me of an old man; everything about him was mellow and
deep at the same time, down to the way he spoke. His voice was usually quiet
but profound things seemed to come out all the time.

“Rachel kissed me,” I started, ignoring the
fact (for the moment) that he could see right through me. He chuckled deeply
but it sounded like two very loud wheezy coughs. Old man.

“Why so upset?” He played the game I’d
started, asking like he didn’t already know. I stared at him with an “are you
serious?” face. He nodded his head and looked away. 

“She was just trying to get me to kiss her
so she could go tattle to Lucy.” I realized the realness of what just happened.

“Ooh, classy,” Isaiah answered with a
sneer.

“Yeah, she’s a peach.” I threw the end of
my cigarette at him. He patted the ash off of his shoulder. He looked like a
giant black sloth, moving in slow motion.

“Well, Davie boy, at least it wasn’t your
first kiss where the memory of it is going to haunt you for life.” I just
looked at him miserably. 

“Really, first kiss?” His voice broke the
normally mellow tone just a little bit. We’d never talked about it, but I guess
he just assumed. He shook his head while I pulled out another cigarette for
myself before he spoke again. “Dude, that sucks.”

“What am I supposed to do now? Lucy is
going to hate me.” It wasn’t so much a question as it was a cry for help. I
just wasted my first kiss on someone who wasn’t Lucy. Genius. All-star weekend,
really. First I puke on her, then I find some random girl to make out with
practically in front of her. How could she not adore me?

“Why did you do it?” Isaiah handed me a
lighter as he spoke. I took it. Easier than matches in the cold.

“I don’t know, I guess I just wanted to. I
wasn’t thinking, I just--“

Isaiah cut me off.

“Knock it off. You were mad at Lucy and now
you’re kind of glad that Rachel told her because this is your weird way of
communicating to Lucy that you are mad at her.”

“You’re a jerk.” I answered, knowing he was
right.

“Let go of me!” I heard Lucy’s voice from
around the corner. I scooted closer to the wall so she couldn’t see me if she
walked around this side of the building.

“No, Lucy stop.” Mike’s voice trailed
behind her. Oh good. Chalk another victory up for me tonight – I caused a
reunion between Mike and Lucy. 

“What do you want, Mike? I’m trying to find
David.” She had so much hurt in her voice that it was hard for me not to go to
her. Luckily, I was a complete coward and incredibly ashamed of myself. So I
was able to stay put without too much effort.

“Why are you trying to find him? He
probably left.”

“No, Mike, David wouldn’t leave without me.
He is here.” She spoke stubbornly.

“How do you know that? You’ve known him for
two weeks.” Mike sounded genuinely frustrated. I didn’t blame him. It seemed
that since I had come on the scene Mike’s perfect life had fallen apart.

“I just know he’s here; I need to hear it
from him. Sorry, but I don’t trust your little girlfriend.” Lucy’s voice
dripped disgust in every syllable.

“If she was lying, why can’t we find him?”
Mike spit back.

Isaiah’s voice startled me, although he
spoke under his breath, “He has a point.” I glared at him to shut up.

“I don’t know.” Lucy answered Mike,
sounding tired. 

“Come on Lucy.” Mike was jumping on her
moment of weakness, “What are you doing with those freaks, anyway?”

“They aren’t freaks,” she said wearily.

“Come on, they look like a bunch of Goths.
Except for that freckle faced one. He just looks like a freak ginger.”

“They aren’t Goths.” She didn’t even bother
explaining.

“I am,” Isaiah murmured, quietly.

"I don't care what David looks like.
He's like no one I’ve ever known." Lucy‘s voice was infused with pride
that I didn't deserve.

"Out of the abundance of the heart the
mouth speaks,” Mike replied like he was quoting something.

"First of all, don't scripture fight
with me, I will destroy you at that game and you know it. Second, that has
nothing to do with how David looks. The things that come out of his mouth are
amazing!"

I peeked my head out a little and I could
see Lucy’s arms across her chest.

"Aww. She’d scripture fight for
you." Isaiah wasn’t looking at me.

"I will kill you," I hissed.

"Ah man, don't be like that. You know
whatever-eth is in your heart-eth comes out-eth your mouth-eth."

I sighed and closed my eyes, exhaustion
setting in.

"Tell me Lucy: why him and not me?”
Mike sounded very sad. "We were together for over a year. Now, all of a
sudden you can't stop talking about this freak." I saw Lucy cringe at the
word freak.

"Because of that attitude!" She
stomped her foot on the last word, frustration ringing in her voice. "I
want to know him more. I want to understand how someone who has barely even
heard of God can be like him."