My Sweetest Sasha: Cole's Story (Meadows Shore Book 2) (6 page)

Alexa released the breath she’d been holding. “You were the student with her when it happened?”

Cole nodded.

“It must have been awful.”

“It was awful … The case was investigated, and there was no culpability. Even if Diana had responded immediately, the patient wouldn’t have survived, but it was still hard to take.”

Alexa could see the pain in his eyes.

“She wasn’t my patient,” Cole said softly. “I was on another team.”

His colleagues had reminded him of that repeatedly when it happened—it was the truth, but it had never eased his guilt.

“Where’s Diana now?”

“Dead. She committed suicide a few years ago. This is a tough environment for male surgeons, but it’s much tougher for females, and Diana was never the same after the incident. Lawyers examined every aspect of her life under a microscope, and the media had a field day.”

After a respectful silence, she prodded ever so gently, “What did you learn from the experience?”

“To always keep my pager near me when I’m getting busy in the hospital.”

He looked over at Alexa, and her deep blue eyes pierced his conscience.

“Cut the crap,” she said, still staring into his soul.

“Patients aren’t animated caricatures who come into the hospital to make our lives miserable. Their care isn’t our burden, it’s our privilege,” he said in a low, gravelly voice, rolling a pen between his palms.

“That’s a tough lesson for a medical student to learn.”

“Yeah, well, believe it or not, the toughest part was telling my mother. The whole situation became even more sordid because my dad was a senator.”

“A United States Senator?”

He nodded. “I went to him as soon as it happened. He was mad as hell.”

“The scandal?”

He shook his head. “Nah. My parents never expected us to behave because of his job. They would have had the same expectations of us if he’d been a ditchdigger.”

“What happened?”

“He made me tell my mother. I asked him to talk to her first, lay the groundwork, but he refused to help me out. I was furious. Telling my mom I’d been some woman’s plaything, one of many, was the hardest thing I’d ever done up to that point.”

“How did she take it?”

His chest tightened, and he closed his eyes, not wanting Alexa to see the hurt. “She said, ‘you can satisfy your basic needs anywhere. But you’ll only find true fulfillment, the kind that satisfies your body
and
your soul, with a woman who loves you, with a woman you love. What you did with that woman … it makes my heart ache that you’d settle for so little. I want so much more for you and your brothers.’” He never forgot the words or the sadness on her face when she spoke.

Alexa’s eyes glistened.

“I’ve never felt smaller or more ashamed.”

And though he’d yet to experience the kind of satisfaction his mother spoke about, he’d approached his sexual encounters with women differently after that. They were less one-sided, he gave for everything he took, and he never became involved in any situation remotely like that again.

“Your father believed he’d raised a good man.”

“How’s that?”

“The punishment he chose for you—so simple, yet so profound. It cut to your character and tore at your heart.”

He looked over at her sitting across the room and wondered when he’d decided it was safe to share his darkest secrets with her. Maybe it was because she seemed to always choose to see the best in people, even in him, or maybe it was because …

“Don’t let your guard down, I’m not a nice guy, remember?”

“I’m not afraid of you.”

His gut told him he was the one who needed to be afraid, or maybe it was telling him not to be afraid. He wasn’t sure. The feelings were tangled, and unfamiliar, leaving him confused.

“Alexa Petersen, you may be the end of me yet. I’ve got to get downstairs. You coming?”

“I need to stop by my office. I’ll meet you down there.”

The first person Alexa saw when she walked into Risk Management was Marcia. A familiar face who’d welcomed her every day since she’d been there, and taken her under her wing like a mother hen.

“Well, hello, stranger!” bellowed Marcia.

“Hi. How’s everything?

“Things are good. How’s it going with you, coach?”

“Ugh!” Alexa threw her head back and squeezed her eyes shut.

“Don’t look so unhappy. A lot of women around here would kill to be coaching him. If I were a few decades younger, I’d coach him myself.”

She grinned at Marcia, who wore too much makeup and way-too-tight clothing over her heart of gold.

“Don’t let all the rumors about him get in the way of the truth. He’s a good guy.”

“That’s what I can’t figure out. He’s a piece of work, but he doesn’t seem to be quite the menace Chet makes him out to be.”
A horndog, certainly, but not a menace.

“Chet.” She rolled her eyes. “Don’t put too much stock in what Chet says. He’s not a good guy. Watch out for him,” she warned, ruthlessly straightening a stack of papers.

“Speak of the devil.” Marcia said under her breath when Chet crept around the corner.

“Alexa, nice to see you. Come in to my office for a minute so we can catch up.”

“How’s it going with Harrington?” he asked once he’d closed his office door.

She briefly contemplated telling Chet about the redhead, then decided against it. He could read about it in the report like everyone else. “It’s disruptive to have non-medical personnel on the units and in the OR.”

“Yes, well, too damn bad for them. Have you gotten any information for the report?”

“Some. But I’m not sure it’s exactly what you’re looking for.” A physician having visitors at work wasn’t against the rules so long as they didn’t shirk their responsibilities, and Alexa didn’t have any hard evidence that Cole and the redhead had sex in his office. She was sure they’d done the deed, but it was strictly circumstantial.

He studied her suspiciously. “Well, it’s early yet. He’ll let down his guard. He’s a snake.”

Maybe.
“I should get back.”

“Alexa, we’re counting on you to get this job done properly. Understand?”

“Yes, of course.” And she walked out of Chet’s office making a mental note to avoid him until after she’d turned in the report.

She’d long ago tossed aside Chet’s idea of giving up on Cole—it wasn’t how she’d been professionally trained, nor was it part of her nature. She’d let the facts take her where they might, but she refused to manufacture evidence or shade the truth. It would probably cost her a well-paying job, but there was no way she’d compromise her integrity to satisfy Chet.

She’d find another job—figure something else out. Her plans for Owen might have to wait another year. She sighed. She’d already contacted the placement office at Harvard, and sent out over thirty resumes. Hopefully she’d have several interviews lined up for September.
Hopefully
.

“What’s wrong?” Marcia asked when Alexa came around the corner.

“I don’t know. But something’s not right. There seems to be more between Chet and Dr. Harrington than meets the eye. It’s almost as though Chet has it in for him.”

“Listen to your instincts. Mine tell me you’re a smart woman with lots of common sense. And my instincts are never wrong.”

“Thanks, Marcia.”

“Come by and see me at the end of next week. I’m taking my grandchildren blueberry picking on Wednesday after work, and I’ll bring you some. Fresh, sweet blueberries—make you feel better.”

“Sounds wonderful! I’ll be here.”

* * *

One morning on rounds Cole was quieter than usual, and his sarcasm had more bite.

“Landry stay behind. I want a word with you.” It was the intern he’d badgered relentlessly during rounds.

“When did you order those lab tests for Mrs. Wyniski?” Cole asked.

“Last night.”

“I was here until late last night, and checked the results. There was nothing in the computer. Not a result, not an order. Nothing. You were either too lazy to bother to order the labs, or you forgot. And you lied to me last night and again this morning to cover your ass.”

“That’s not true.”

Cole stepped toward him with Alexa close at his heels, prepared to intervene if necessary.

“It is true, and it’s also true that I’m failing you for the rotation.”

“You can’t—.”

“Like hell I can’t. You’re lucky I don’t have the power to kick your lazy ass out of the program. But I’ll recommend it. As far as I’m concerned, you’re done.”

“Please. It was a mistake.”

“A mistake is ordering an ultrasound when the patient needs a CAT scan. What you did was gross negligence that endangered a patient’s life, and then you lied repeatedly to cover it up. As far as I’m concerned, you don’t belong in medicine. You don’t belong in any profession where people put their trust in you, because you don’t deserve anyone’s trust.  Now get off my unit, and out of my sight.”

Smoke billowed from Cole’s ears as he made his way to the stairs.

“Don’t you think you were a little harsh with him?” Alexa asked.

“Harsh with him? He didn’t bother to run necessary tests on a sick patient so he could leave early last night. It delayed treatment for an eighty-year-old diabetic. Now she’ll be in the hospital an extra day at least. We need to get people out of here as quickly as possible.”

She nodded. “Insurance.”

He scowled at her. “Safety. The longer someone’s in the hospital, the greater the chance of something going wrong—an infection, a fall, whatever. The elderly are particularly vulnerable. This is just a big pain in my ass now. I’ve got to talk with the residency program director and fill out a mountain of forms.”

Alexa didn’t continue to challenge him. He wasn’t in a frame of mind to even consider the possibility he’d made a mistake. She’d talk to him later.

* * *

At the end of the day they were back in the office, and Cole seemed in a better mood.
It’s now or never
. “I’ve thought a lot about Josh today,” she said.

“Josh?”

“Landry. Josh Landry. The intern you were all over this morning.”

“I wouldn’t waste too many brain cells on him.”

“Maybe you should rethink how you handled the situation. You weren’t fair to him.”

“Really? Room 305—you go tell Mr. Wyniski why he’s sleeping alone again tonight. Why his eighty-year-old wife has to spend another night in the hospital. Ask him if he thinks I was unfair. Go ahead. Let me know how it all works out.”

She ignored his condescending attitude. “You never gave him a chance to explain. You bulldozed right over him when he tried.”

“That’s what happens to condemned property.”

She wasn’t letting this go, she couldn’t. This was much more serious than sneaking women into the office under the cover of night. A young man’s future was at stake. “I’ve been watching him the last couple of weeks. He’s not cocky like Schuster, or disengaged from humanity like Parsons. He’s compassionate toward patients and respectful to everyone.”

“Even Eddie Haskell could put on a good front when he needed to.”

“There might be more to this than meets the eye. He at least deserves a conversation.”

“He deserves shit.”

She stood tall in front of Cole’s desk. “Now who’s the judge and jury? Human beings aren’t disposable commodities. We can’t afford to discard everyone who doesn’t meet our lofty expectations. But I get it. Only the mighty Cole Harrington deserves a second chance.” And she turned on her heel and left the office before she stepped any farther over the line.

* * *

She disappeared for about half an hour before coming back to the office and pulling out her laptop. He never once looked up. After about an hour of silence, a silence that wore heavily on him, he picked up the phone on his desk.

“This is Dr. Harrington. Would you please page Dr. Landry? Tell him I need to see him in my office right away.” He hung up, never bothering to look in her direction.

Twenty minutes later Landry appeared in the doorway, disheveled, looking like he’d been through the wringer.

“I need you to tell me what happened last night. Everything. Don’t leave anything out. Not. A. Thing.” he said, glaring at Alexa.

Landry hung his head. “You were right, I left before writing the order for the blood work. I’d planned on coming back, but it didn’t work out that way.”

“Hot date?”

“No, sir.”

“Don’t give me that sir shit. Why did you leave? What was so fucking important that you needed to risk a patient’s health?”

Landry didn’t say anything, but raw emotion contorted his face, making him appear haggard, older than his years.

Cole suddenly saw what Alexa had seen. What he would’ve seen earlier if he hadn’t been standing so high up on his soapbox. “Tell me. I want the truth. Now.”

Josh Landry took a few deep breaths before he spoke. “My daughter was sick,” he said, barely above a whisper. “She’d had a fever all day. At about five-thirty it began to spike, and she wasn’t keeping down liquids. When I left, I planned to come back, but by the time I got home the babysitter was vomiting and running a fever too. I couldn’t leave … little kids dehydrate so easily. She weighs thirty pounds.”

“How old is she?”

“Three.”

“Where was her mother?”

“It’s just me. Her mother is—she’s not ready to be a mother yet.”

“What’s your daughter’s name?”

“Hannah.”

“You’re taking care of Hannah by yourself, no family around?”

“I have a live-in babysitter. She’s great, but she’s young. I think we both got scared yesterday. I’m sorry. I understand what I did was wrong. Very wrong, and I made it worse by lying.”

The silence roared while Cole waged an internal struggle, trying to figure out how to put this right.
An intern raising a kid alone.
When he’d been an intern, his greatest challenge outside of medicine, was trying to choose between a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead to bang after the patients were all tucked in for the night. Thinking about it right now with Landry standing there, a man who was distraught and actually had real responsibilities, made him want to crawl between the rug and the wood floor. He couldn’t begin to fathom what was running through Alexa’s mind, and he was too much of a coward to look her way.

“Does the residency director know you’re a single dad?” he asked.

“No. When I applied, I didn’t say anything because I worried they’d see me as a risk. They would’ve been right.”

“You’ve got to tell them … you need the support.” He pulled a card from his drawer and scribbled something on the back before handing it to Josh. “Put it in your wallet. Hannah’s going to need you again. Next time shit happens—and it will, little kids are nothing but germballs with juice boxes—call me if you’re out of options. Call me before you compromise your future, and Hannah’s.”

Josh gripped the card tightly in his hand.

“I’m not letting you off the hook. You did something stupid that could’ve compromised a patient. It might still. I’m failing you for the rotation, but giving you the opportunity for a do-over. It may cause you some issues if you apply for a competitive fellowship, but if there are no more problems, I’ll be happy to serve as a reference, and you’ll land on your feet.”

“Thank you.” Landry’s voice cracked and he sniffed loud enough that Cole looked away for a moment to give him an opportunity to compose himself.

“Since I’m failing you anyway, stop at the residency director’s office, then go home and check on Hannah, and spend the next ten days working to figure this out. We’ve had a lot of single moms come through here. The residency program can help. Let them.”

“Thank you for giving me another chance. I won’t let you down.”

“Don’t thank me, thank the social worker sitting in the corner. I wrote you off. But she fought to redeem us both.”

Josh nodded and gave her a small smile as he left the office.

Cole’s elbows were on the desk and his chin rested on his clasped hands while he fixed his attention on Alexa. “Go ahead, say it. You’ve earned the right.”

“Say what?”

“That I’m an impulsive, self-righteous asshole, and if it hadn’t been for your nagging, I would’ve thrown away a kid who deserved a second chance. And probably ruined his daughter’s life too.”

“I didn’t push you to do anything you didn’t already have in you. I just reminded you to look beyond the obvious. Nothing’s ever that simple.” She shrugged. “But you know that.”

She could’ve gloated or chided him, and it would have served him right, but it wasn’t her style. No, Alexa lifted people up—she never knocked them down. Not even him. She didn’t mind taking him down a notch or two, but she never shoved his face in the dirt, even when he deserved it.