Naked (13 page)

I snorted softly and let my fingers close over him a little harder. “Something tells me your ego can take a lot.”

He looked at me then, not smiling, his gray eyes intense. “Smoldering” is what Sarah would have called it. She reads a lot of romance novels. Alex was definitely smoldering.

“See? You know me already,” he said.

I pushed at his shoulder when he moved toward me for another kiss. He stopped. “You make it sound like you’re hard to know.”

His gaze softened. “I don’t want to be.”

He had a hand on either side of me, dipping the futon, and one of his knees fit just between mine. All he had to do was bend his elbows and straighten his leg to be on top of me, but Alex held off. I pressed my palms to his cheeks, holding him still while I studied every line and curve of his face.

“You don’t want to be an international man of mystery?”

He shook his head, and my fingers slipped on his skin. His hair tickled me. “Not really. Not with you.”

Heat flooded me, top to toe. I felt the blush, even though I knew the color wouldn’t show on my skin. I gently pulled his mouth to mine. Lip on lip, a gentle brush. A small and tiny kiss made bigger by what he’d said.

I didn’t ruin it by talking. I know when it’s best to be silent. I answered with my eyes, my touch, instead. Another kiss. We moved together without needing to choreograph it, our bodies shifting in perfect time.

Alex rolled onto his back and I followed. I straddled him. I took a fistful of silk and pulled it down, baring him. His long arm found a condom from the half-empty box, and he handed it to me with another smoldering look.

I didn’t take off his shirt, not even when I sheathed him
and pushed him inside me. My thighs gripped his sides, the shirt fell open, showing off my breasts and belly, the curves no diet would ever whittle off me.

His hand slid between us, his thumb pressing my clit. “Like this?”

I loved that he asked, and more than that, remembered. I’d had lovers who didn’t know what I liked after a dozen times fucking. “Yes.”

His other hand gripped my ass, squeezed. “Shift up a little bit.”

I did, and gasped at the pressure on my clit. All I had to do was move, just a little, and his cock slid in and out with ease, while my clit rubbed his knuckle, and sometimes his belly. Perfect. Magic. I closed my eyes, head bent, pleasure rising in me again when an hour ago I’d have said I was spent.

It took longer this time than it had the others. We moved slower. Didn’t rush. Time went liquid around us, and I melted with it.

“Yes,” he said when the first tremors shook me. “Fuck, yes.”

I opened my eyes to look down at his face, twisted with his own desire. His eyes gleamed, then his eyelids fluttered. He thrust harder inside me. My orgasm started in long, rolling waves and I made hardly a sound, but Alex knew it. He groaned. He slowed. The futon rocked under us.

He took my hand, slipped his fingers into mine. Linked, we came together. A gasp and a sigh, I wasn’t sure who made what noise, only that we both did it at the same time.

The first few seconds postorgasm are always as different as the orgasms themselves. This time I rolled off him into a
boneless heap, arms and legs akimbo, and shuddered out a breathless “whoa.”

“Aw, shucks, don’t say that just to make me feel better.”

“I don’t say things just to make people feel better,” I told him. It wasn’t meant to be serious. How could it have been, when I could barely string two words together?

“Me, neither.”

Something in his voice turned my head to look at him. Alex stared at the ceiling. He licked his lips once, then again. He blinked rapidly, as if he had something in his eyes.

“Telling people what they want to hear just to make them feel better is no better than lying,” he added offhandedly.

He looked at me. We didn’t say anything for a second or so, and then I rolled toward him and kissed him. He kissed me back.

“So, if I ask you if a pair of jeans makes my ass look fat, and it does, you won’t tell me it doesn’t?” I traced my name on his chest with my finger.

Alex laughed and pressed my hand still against him. “I just won’t say anything.”

“Then I’ll know my ass looks fat in those jeans,” I told him.

“Yeah,” Alex said, before he kissed me again. “But at least you’ll know I wasn’t lying.”

“Y
ou have a seriously warped idea of what’s romantic,” Sarah said from around a mouthful of sushi.

“You look so cute with rice falling out of your mouth.”

She snorted and dabbed up the fallen crumbs with a thumb, then licked them off. She pointed her chopsticks, the ends stained with soy sauce, at me. “Dude says you have a fat ass and you get all squishy? Warped.”

“He did not say I had a fat ass,” I rebutted. Alex had, in fact, spent the next fifteen minutes telling me how much he liked my behind. And my in front. And all the other bits in between.

She shrugged and dipped another piece of spicy tuna into the soy-wasabi mixture. “Meh. Don’t listen to me. I’m just jealous you’re all getting laid and stuff, and I’m at home alone with my hand.”

“Poor thing. Don’t you have a B.O.B.?”

“Ran out the batteries on that sucker and haven’t upgraded,” my friend said with a grin. Then another shrug. “Battery-operated boyfriends can’t take you out for sushi.”

“I’m the one taking you out for sushi,” I pointed out.

Sarah licked her chopsticks seductively. “Any chance of me getting lucky?”

I laughed so loud the other diners turned their heads to stare. “Um…no.”

“Why, cuz you’re all gooey and gushy over Mr. Alex Gigantic Magic Cock Kennedy? What did he do, give you his class ring?”

From anyone else it would’ve sounded like mocking, but I knew Sarah well enough to know she was teasing. “Don’t hate.”

She laughed when I imitated her, and stole a piece of salmon-avocado roll from my plate. “I can’t help it. I’m jealous. Or envious, maybe. I don’t wish you didn’t have what I want. I just wish I had it, too.”

“What happened to that guy you hooked up with from the motorcycle shop?”

She fixed me with a typical Sarah look, raised brow, curled lip, totally snarky. “He didn’t like bunnies.”

I stopped with a piece of sushi halfway to my mouth. “So? When did you get a rabbit?”

“I don’t have a rabbit, but I totally can’t get into a guy who hates bunnies. I mean, that’s so…wrong. Who hates bunnies? And he didn’t laugh at LOLcats.com, either. He said they were…” She lowered her voice, looked around. “Stupid. And lame.”

“Ouch. Who doesn’t like pictures of cats with funny captions? That
is
pretty lame.”

“Yeah. I dumped him. And the sex was pretty bad. Really bad, actually. Do you know,” she added, with another point of her chopsticks, “the last really great fuck I had was with a guy I will never, ever go to bed with ever again?”

Sarah’s love life had more ins and outs and turnabouts than any of my other girlfriends. “Who was that?”

“Oh.” She shrugged again, ate the sushi, drank some hot tea. “Some guy you don’t know.”

“Well, that’s not fair. Why’d you bring it up if you never told me about him?” I finished my sushi and drank my tea, too, thinking about ordering some extra sushi rolls to take home for dinner. “And how do you know you won’t ever get with him again if the sex was so great?”

Sarah laughed, again drawing attention, and shook her head. “Oh, God, no. Joe? No way. He is
so
not boyfriend material.”

“Ah…so you’re looking for a boyfriend.”

Sarah raised a brow again. “Dude. Where have you been? I am
so
looking for a boyfriend. I want it all. I want a ring on my finger, I want babies. The works.”

“Huh. Really? Why now, all of a sudden?” In all the time I’d known her, Sarah had always been such a free spirit, definitely more a “Flesh for Fantasy” than a “White Wedding” sort of woman.

“It’s not all of a sudden. I’m just freer about admitting it. I don’t want to be in a nursing home when my kids are in college, you know?”

“I know. And I’m older than you, so shut up.”

“Yeah,” Sarah said, “but you have a
boyfriend.
”

The emphasis she put on the word split my mouth into an
inappropriately huge grin. I stifled it, but she saw. She poked my plate with her chopsticks, but grinned, too.

“You liiike him,” she teased.

“What’s not to like?” I said in my mother’s voice. “He’s very pretty. He’s got a job, sort of, but even if he doesn’t, he’s got money. He’s a good dresser. Great kisser. Anyway, it’s only been a couple days. Too soon to make it into anything it’s not.”

“Don’t forget great lay,” she added, and poured more tea for us both. “You ordering takeout?”

“Yes.” I pulled the menu toward me and held up the teeny tiny pencil as I looked over the list. “He is a great lay.”

“Well, there you have it. All the makings of a great relationship.”

I sighed and checked off an order for three sushi rolls and a couple sashimis. “Yeah…well. The boyfriend thing. It didn’t work out so well for me before.”

“Pffft. Wasn’t your fault. Now, not having a boyfriend since then? Your fault.”

“I’ve had…”

“Ah, ah,” she said. “You’ve had a couple fuck buddies, and you’ve had dates. But no boyfriend.”

I swirled my chopsticks through the dots of soy sauce on my plate, making letters. “Yeah. Well…I don’t know if I want him to be my boyfriend. Once bitten and all that.”

Sarah didn’t tease this time. “You can’t let what happened with Patrick scare you off men forever.”

“Alex fucks guys.” I said it flatly, but quietly, so nobody else would hear. “I saw him getting head from a guy at Patrick’s Chrismukkah party.”

“What?” Sarah’s shriek echoed around the restaurant. “What the fuck? You didn’t tell me that!”

I shrugged uncomfortably. “I didn’t tell him I saw. It was dark. They didn’t know I was there.”

She paused. “Was it hot? God, I bet that was really, really smoking hot.”

“Sarah,” I said with annoyance. “Focus.”

“Sorry.” She shrugged, a typical Sarah move. “Bunny, all this means is that you like a little gay in your guy. Nothing wrong with that. You said yourself he’s great in bed, and he’s really into you.”

I sighed again, anxiety I’d managed to tamp down before now rearing up in my throat. “What if it’s not just a
little
gay?”

“Honey. He rocked your world and made you come so hard you saw fireworks. A gay man doesn’t do that. I mean, a totally gay dude doesn’t.”

“Patrick—”

She cut me off. “It was never like that with Patrick. Unless you told me a lie. A bunch of lies. Don’t forget, Bunny, I’ve sat with you through more than a few too-many-margaritas nights.”

This was undoubtedly true. “No. It wasn’t like that with Patrick.”

“The sex was nonexistent, and he lied to you. Sounds to me like you’re ahead by two already with Alex.”

I thought back over every word we’d ever shared, me and Alex. Every nuance. “No, well, he hasn’t lied, exactly…”

“Have you asked him if he’s into dudes?”

“No.”

Sarah spread her fingers, eyes wide. “So? Are you gonna?”

“I don’t know. What do I do if he says yes?”

“Olivia, baby, honey. Sugar muffin—”

I broke into laughter. “Stop.”

Sarah grinned. “Poopsie.”

I slapped my forehead. “You’re too much.”

“Bunny, I am not enough.” She preened and dissolved into laughter herself.

“Seriously. What do I do if he says yes?”

“Same stuff you’ve been doing with him, I guess. You already know he’s okay with getting head from a guy. Which, by the way, I’m still sure was totally hot.”

I finished the last of my tea and waited for the server to set down my take-out carton of sushi and hand me the bill before I answered. “It was. But that was before I knew I’d be sleeping with him. It’s different now. I guess I have a hang-up.”

“Who’d blame you?” Sarah looked sympathetic. She could be unflinchingly honest, but she was also the best friend I’d ever had. The best female friend, anyway.

“Patrick says he fucked him. He’s all bent out of shape about me being with Alex—”

“Wait up.” She held up a hand like a stop sign. “You told Patrick before you told me?”

“He was pissed off because we were spending time together, and because we kissed on New Year’s Eve…”

“What? Wait!” Sarah frowned. “You didn’t tell me that, either. You’ve been holding out on me!”

“You,” I said, “didn’t tell me about that last great lay you had.”

She puffed a breath that blew her bangs off her forehead. “Okay. Fine. Whatever. So did you tell Alex you not only saw him getting head from some dude, but that Patrick said they fucked?”

“No.”

“You’d better. If he admits it, then you have it out there between you. If he doesn’t, you know he’s a fucking liar and you cut your losses and get out while you still can.”

“I don’t want him to be a liar.” The words caught in my throat, sticky like rice.

“Bunny, of course you don’t. Just ask him. You’ll feel better. Do it like a Band-Aid, just rip it off and get it over with.”

“I should go,” I said, catching sight of the clock. “Speaking of my own work. I’d like to actually do some, since I have to be at my other job the rest of the week.”

“Foto Folks, photos of your mamas. Photos of your papas.” Sarah sang the theme song from the company’s superannoying commercial. “Pictures of fat ladies in tiaras and feather boas. Pictures that make you want to hurl!”

“Nice. Thanks. That’s my livelihood you’re mocking.”

“Not forever. You’ll be out of that place in a few months. I feel it. You’ll have so much business you won’t be able to handle all of it.”

“From your mouth to God’s ears,” I said as I got up and counted out the cash, plus tip, to cover the food.

Sarah gave me a funny look, her head tilted. The light flashed on her multiple earrings, and in this light, her hair looked black, not dark blue and purple. “You been talking to your mom?”

I hadn’t, not for a long time. Too long. But I’d been thinking about her a lot lately, from small things. Odd things, like the pepperoni pizza. “No. I should call her. Patrick tried to guilt me into it, but…”

“Oh, Patrick can fuck himself,” Sarah said darkly. “Bunny, you know I love you, but that boy has got to step back.”

I blinked, surprised at her vehemence. “What brought that on?”

She stood, gathering her coat and bag from the back of the chair. “I thought you were pissed at him. I’m on your side.”

“Well, I am pissed off at him.” We wove through the tables that had been empty when we came in, but now had plenty of customers. “I just wonder why you are.”

In the sunlight outside, on the sidewalk, Sarah turned and gave me a sudden, hard hug. “I’ve always been pissed off at him. I just pretend otherwise for your sake.”

I’d known she didn’t like him, but this was news. I hugged her back, then looked at her face. “Why?”

“Because…” Sarah sighed. “Oh, Liv. Why do you think? Because I love you. You’re my friend. Why else would I put up with him, unless it’s for your sake? I sort of hoped…”

“What?”

Sarah shrugged, but looked me in the eye. “I sort of hoped you’d be done with him after this last thing. That maybe you’d…And then when you told me about Alex, I really hoped…”

It wasn’t like her to mush words, but even with the mumbling and stammering, I knew what she was getting at. My stomach tightened again. My mouth thinned. “Wow. I didn’t know you hated him so much.”

“I’m sorry,” she said quickly, then before I could say anything added, “Don’t rush to his defense. Patrick’s been pretty crappy to you, and if you’re planning on forgiving him and being all merry la-la, huggy kiss and smooch with him again, I might have to smack you.”

I blinked at her rapid-fire description of my relationship with Patrick. “I’m still mad at him, don’t worry.”

“And now you’re mad at me, too.” She made a face. “Sorry.”

“No. I’m not mad. You’re not wrong.” I clutched my box of sushi tighter as a chill breeze kicked up the hem of my coat and made Sarah’s hair, brilliant blue now, fly around her face. “I just…It’s complicated with me and him.”

“I know. I know.” She hugged me again.

Sarah is a hugger. Anyone can fall prey to her embrace. I let her squeeze me even though she was right: I was angry. A little at her and a little at myself because I knew she was right.

“He’s been a part of my life for a long time. I almost married him.”

“But you didn’t. And, pumpkin…” She sighed and hugged me again, patting my back. She pulled away. “I get it. I do. But I just hate that he makes you feel so…bad.”

“He doesn’t—” I stopped myself. I had never thought, or never admitted, that Patrick made me feel bad about anything.

“I’m zipping my lip. That’s it, I’m done. You have to get home to that luscious new boy toy so you can screw him once more before you go to work and I…I must make my rounds cleaning lawyers’ computers of virus-ridden Internet porn. Did I tell you I found some guy’s stash of tranny panty hose porn? Man, that was a day I needed some bleach for my eyeballs.”

“Yikes.”

“You said it.” She nodded. She hugged me yet again. She added a kiss to my cheek, though she had to jump up a few inches to reach it. “Let me know when you want to do some
more work on the studio. Or if you need me for some shots or anything.”

“I have a job lined up next week. I think I’ll need someone with pretty hands.”

She waved her fingers at me. “I gots pretty hands.”

I laughed. “Go on now, go. I’ll call you later.”

“Later, gator.” With a wave, Sarah headed off to her car. Her hair blew back in the wind. She walked as if she owned the parking lot, and she turned heads. I envied her that confidence.

I envied her ability to say what she meant, and mean what she said.

My phone rang as I watched her drive away, and I pulled it from my pocket. I knew the number, and I recognized the photo. But instead of answering Patrick’s call, I thumbed the phone off and stuck it back in my pocket.

There wasn’t much of a crowd for the afternoon service at Congregation Ahavat Shalom, but that was fine. Fewer people I’d have to make small talk with. I hadn’t been to services here in months, either, but I took my usual spot in a pew near the front and to the side, where I could watch the rabbi. Most of the congregation sat behind me, and that was fine. I didn’t always sing along with the prayers, at least out loud. I was still learning.