Napalm and Silly Putty (28 page)

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Authors: George Carlin

Tags: #Humor, #Form, #Political, #General, #Topic, #Essays, #American wit and humor

BOOK: Napalm and Silly Putty
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“Fuck you, Carlin. I’ll give you five bucks for Water Works.”

“Ten.”

“Seven-fifty.”

“Tony, they don’t have a fifty-cent bill.”

“Tough shit. Tear a dollar in half.”

No, I wasn’t very good at the game, but I spent a lot of time landing on Chance. And I always tried to buy it. I got in more fights trying to buy Chance.

I’d move my token. “ . . . three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine . . . Chance!” Turn over the card, a little man with a hat: “Two hundred dollars for being an asshole.”

“Hey, Richie, shuffle those cards, will ya? That’s the second time I got that one.”

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