Nate (A Texas Jacks Novel) (29 page)

“Right.” he confirms.

“We like Charlie a lot, and we can see she’s head over heels for you. I think she may even be in love with you.” Tucker shocks the ever-loving life out of me at that.

“
Love
?” I falter in my steps, on my way to a new weight machine. It’s nice and quiet here this early in the morning. We practically have the gym to ourselves.

“Uh—,” he looks over to Holt, not sure in how he should proceed.

“You haven’t caught on to that fact, yet?” Holt looks on in disbelief at me.

“No. Hence the reason I’m in shock over here.”

“To be fair to Charlie, I don’t think she fully realizes it, either. The way she watches your every move, and how she gazes at you? She’s definitely in love with you, bro,” says Tucker.

I feel dumbfounded by this revelation. “How did I not see that coming?” I ask, more to myself, than to them.

“You’ve been living in la-la land for the last few months!” Holt tries to lighten up the mood. “How could you not clue in to her feelings by now?” he wonders out loud.

“I thought that was the reason you haven’t had many dates with her on your own.” Tucker tries to reason why we’ve been hanging out more than normal, rather than me flying solo.

“Safety in numbers. You know how I operate,” I remind them.

“Right, we do, but you’ve been different with Charlie. That’s why we wanted to know what was going on. Now, I see we shouldn’t have brought it up.” Holt shakes his head and goes back to his bicep curls.

“No. No, this is good. I’m glad you pointed it out. You’re right, I have been clueless. I mean, not completely, obviously. I know we have this pull with each other, but I’ve been trying to figure out a way to distance myself without hurting her in the process.”

I hear them both groan, and Tucker lets the weights on the back of his machine drop with a loud
clang
. “Really? You can’t be serious!”

“As a heart attack.”

“That’s just plain stupid,” Holt replies.

“Didn’t you just share a piece of your soul with her not more than two days ago? Why else would you continue to share your self and the track with her? Let alone take her out joy riding on the back of your dirt bike?” Tucker seems even more baffled, as this conversation goes on.

“You’ve only had one girl on the back before, and that was Shelley. I’m still trying to figure that one out, years later.” Holt looks at me, trying to figure me out.

“There wasn’t anything special to it at the time. I was messed up and being stupid back then, and you both know it. Have I let anyone else on my bike, since? No.”

“See? That right there just proves your feelings for Charlie.” Holt points out.

“Right. It does. It’s also why I need to put the brakes on a little more firmly.” They both look at me in dismay, but I know they get where I’m coming from. “Look, you both know that her anniversary is coming up, and how hard that time is for me, not to mention my family. It’s going to be a rough week. It always is. I don’t want Charlie to see that. It’s best to start the process of pulling back now.” I try to compel them with my arguments for this horrible idea. I know it’s a bad plan, but it’s the only one I have in my head at the moment. “Do you have a better solution?” I ask them.

“Yeah, actually, I do.” Holt voices in irritation.

“Yep. I do too, and it’s the same one as Holt’s.”

“
No
. I’m not telling her. She shouldn’t be burdened with my sorrows year after year. You guys know how I get. How is that going be for her? I don’t want to be a douche to her every flipping year. I’m already a big enough jerk to you, my dad, and my sister for a least a week.”

“Right, but we’re still here for you. You’re not even giving her a shot to do the same. She’s a part of you now. She’s under your skin, and in your heart. You know it even if you want to fight it.” Tucker states his case on the matter of my feelings.

“You know, Nate, it’s okay to let someone new in. It’s okay to let that person be Charlie. She can hold your hand and see you through your darkest days, and be your light at the end of the spiral you go into.” Holt says, in a more hushed voice.

“You can’t live like this, year after year. It’s already been eight. Haven’t you put yourself through enough pain? You need to start healing, brother. We love you, and you know we’ll always be here, through thick and thin, but one day—you’re going to need to let someone else be that shoulder to lean on. Just think about it being Charlie. She cares for you deeply. Don’t push her away.” Tucker gets up from his weight machine and walks away, leaving me speechless.

I look over at Holt. He’s watching Tucker walk away before he sadly looks at me. He, too, gets up and heads towards the locker rooms. I’m left standing here wondering,
what just happened, and when did my life get so complicated
?

I
T’S THE FOLLOWING
F
RIDAY, ALMOST
a week since the gym incident with the guys. All week long, I’ve been trying to push aside that conversation we had. Thankfully, it’s been a busy week, so I haven’t taken the time to examine their words too closely. I decided it was time to take Charlie out, one-on-one, as she deserves it. I haven’t been fair, if I’m being honest with myself. However, I still stand firm on my decision that she doesn’t need to be weighted down with my sorrows.
Why do that to a good woman, like Charlie?
Besides, I don’t need the pity that I know I would see if I told her.

So, tonight it’s all about Charlie. I’m taking her out, not only because I really want to see her, but to prove to myself, that we can continue to keep this going as it is, minus the personal and deep emotions. I’ve checked my baggage at the door, and so far, it seems she doesn’t have any. I know I’ve been contemplating applying the brakes on us, though I’ve not done a great job of it. It’s been easier to brush it off and enjoy what we have, even if it’s mostly time spent with our friends.

“Where are we headed, cowboy?” Charlie asks, as we travel down the freeway.

“I thought I would take you to do something fun!”

“Every time we’re together, I have a fun time.” She softly admits.

“I’m glad, sweetheart.” I give her a tender smile. “There’s one small problem, though.” Frowning now as I notice where she’s sitting. I can’t help it. I like the closeness of her body, and to be able to touch her hand as I drive. It goes against keeping certain things in check, however— it reminds me of my parents in years past, which is something I’ve always enjoyed, and wanted for myself. Until I decided it was too intimate. With Charlie, it feels natural to crave it, so I let it slide and push my limits every chance I can.

“Oh?” She looks perfectly perplexed.

“You haven’t figured it out?”

“Uh—no?”

“You’re in the wrong seat, little one.” She gives me a sheepish look but slides over on the bench seat to sit right next to me, where I like her.

“So? Where are we off to?” she tries again.

“I thought we would head over to the airport. They have a decent selection of places to eat, though BBQ sounds good right about now. I figured afterward we could head to
Yogurt Zone
for dessert. We could even cozy up in the back of the truck bed to watch as flights take off and land. Though, just saying— I’m not opposed to the idea of shopping, if you want. There is one thing I really want to do.”

“Oh? Did you want to learn how fly a plane or something?”

“One day, maybe. Though I prefer to keep my feet firmly planted on the ground. So, no. But I do want to play a game of chess.”

“Chess?” She gives me a crazy look. “Uh, I hate to break it to you, but I only reserve board games for my family dinners.” She gives me a disgruntled face.

“Trust me, this is one you’ll want to play.”

“Yeah, but I think I’ll have to pass.” She’s settling in on being stubborn, I can tell.

“No, really. It’s a giant chess board. The pieces are probably your height.” She scrunches her nose at me. “What? I can’t help that you’re fun-sized!” she shakes her head, fighting like hard not to laugh. “Just let the laugh out. You can’t deny it.” I laugh myself, as I squeeze her knee, where I know she’s ticklish.

“Whatever,” she giggles, trying to push my hand away. “Okay. I could play one game with you, on two conditions.”

I raise my eyebrow at her. “Oh, who’s making conditions now? Fine, what will they be, your highness?

“One, you can’t tell my family I played a game outside of the house.” Now I look at her like she’s nuts. “Trust me. I’ll never live it down. And two, you can’t take any photos of this event. I won’t have any blackmail held over me!”

I can’t help but laugh at her, and her crazy requests.

“I can’t promise you anything. I might want to document this momentous occasion, for proprietary sake.” She rolls her eyes.

“I’ll hijack your phone if you dare take a photo!” I don’t take any stock into her empty threats. She’s too short to reach for it over my head anyway, not that I would tell her that. I don’t need to angry the little beast any further.

I’m still laughing at her, and gently squeeze her thigh one more time, then lean over and place a quick kiss on her lips. Grinning, I turn my focus back to the road. “We’ll see. I make no promises.”

And I’m glad I didn’t promise her anything, though I would probably give her whatever she wanted. I couldn’t help but take a few photos of her on the sly. We had dinner, walked around the mall, and grabbed frozen yogurt. Of course, she had to lick mine. She just
had
to test the flavor to make sure she didn’t want the same thing. Which, of course she didn’t. Good thing I don’t mind swapping spit with her.

We played a few games of chess—which I dominated every game. I couldn’t even give her one, it was getting pretty sad. I ended up taking pity on her and quitting after three games. She was a good sport about it, and mostly laughed. I think there were a few times she was ready to jump me, and take me down like an angry wrestler. Now, we’re sitting in the bed of my truck, warming up under a couple heavy blankets, as we watch the planes come and go.

It’s a quiet crisp evening, except for the loud planes, as we huddle together under the blankets, trying to keep each other warm. We haven’t spoken much. It’s nice to enjoy just being here, with each other, and away from the hustle of people, and life.

“Thank you for tonight. I had a lot of fun, even if I wanted to pound you into the ground. I still think my dad could beat you at a life-size chess game.” She chuckles.

“Bring it.” I pull her into me a bit more, as I stare up into the night stars. “I had a great evening, too. I appreciate every moment we share. You make it easy to spend time with you. I love that about you, Charlie. You’re so easy going, and I love your cute feisty side, but how shy you are, too. It’s the best of both worlds when I’m with you.”

I hear her sigh in contentment as she hugs my middle tighter. “It’s you who makes it easy for me. I’ve not dated much, and I still feel new to the experience.”

“I would have never guessed. You would think, being the baby of a large family, you would be the loud and crazy one. You certainly surprise me. In a good way.”

“Well, sometimes it’s the quiet ones you have to watch out for.” She teases.

“Hmmm. I think I need to keep a closer eye on you, to make sure you don’t pull anything on me. Maybe I need a pow-wow with your brother. We guys need to stick together.”

“No way! He would fill your head with every embarrassing moment I have ever had!” she practically shouts.

“Well, you have threatened violence in the form of WWE wrestling moves.” I tease her. “Maybe I should have a care for concern when it comes to my well-being.”

“I think I should warn you that Anson taught me all that I know. He used to practice on me. I was the perfect size to throw around.” I can’t help back crack up.

“I think you probably had a crazy childhood.” I smile into the night, thinking about the kind of life she had, knowing I had a really good upbringing myself.

“I can’t say I threw my little sister around, but I sure did threaten every guy who tried to date her. I went as far as to tell them at school to keep away from her. She couldn’t figure out why the guys didn’t want to go out with her. She heard rumors that certain ones liked her, but didn’t get why they wouldn’t talk to her. She did find out later the real reason.” I laugh. “She, of course, didn’t laugh. She was ready to chase me with our dad’s hunting rifle. Good thing Holt, and Tuck were there. They had to help me escape the house for a while.”