Nathan's Vow (7 page)

"And Leona?"

"She saw me getting closer to
the girls, when before she'd had them to herself.  She wanted all their love,
all their affection.  I think she was afraid they couldn't love us both.  I
told her I was going to file for joint custody.  Arthur must have pulled
strings to get passports quickly, and she took Dana and Maddie before I could
file…before their next visit."  He paused, then said, "Arthur knows
I'm bluffing about the kidnapping charges.  There were no geographical
restrictions on Leona's custody or my visitation.  And I certainly don't want
to see their mother convicted on a felony.  What would that do to them?"

Gillian slipped from the boulder
and stood beside him.  "You blame yourself for all of this."

"Of course I blame myself! 
When I was married, I didn't know how to be a father or a husband.  And after
the divorce..."  He shook his head.  "Knowing Leona, I should have
suspected she'd panic when I mentioned joint custody.  I should have reassured
her that I wouldn't come between her and the girls.  She's a good mother,
Gillian.  She just wants to hold on too tightly."

Silence stretched between them,
broken by the crashing of the waves, the call of a gull.  Nathan watched
Gillian's profile, the fluttering of her bangs, the straight line of her nose,
the tilt of her chin.  Her stillness unsettled him, and he had to know what she
was thinking.

So he asked, "Now that you
know my history, are you still willing to help me?"

Chapter
Four

"Nathan, you're human, like
everyone else.  Maybe you've made mistakes.  So have I.  But I believe you're a
man of integrity who honestly loves his daughters.  Why wouldn't I want to help
you?"

He hadn't expected Gillian's
acceptance and compassion.  No one had ever offered him that before--not so
unconditionally, and he wasn't sure what to do with either.  The breeze ruffled
the sleeves of her blouse.  The skin of her arms glowed golden in the evening
sun.  Suddenly, he wanted to pull her into his arms, kiss her until the kissing
burst into raw passion and all they wanted to do was to join their bodies, not
caring where they were, who they were, or what they had to face tomorrow.

But he was a rational man, not an
impulsive one.  He knew better than to act recklessly.  If he touched her, he'd
only want to touch her more.  "Stay the night again tonight.  You found
success by being around Maddie and Dana's things."

She hesitated and finally said,
"I'll need to go back to my apartment first."

The coil of worry and frustration
Nathan had experienced since Leona had taken his daughters released slightly,
and he felt almost hopeful.  "Pack your bathing suit this time.  We can go
for a swim tomorrow."

"I bought a suit to play in
the waves, but, Nathan, I don't swim."

"You never learned?"

She shook her head.

"Then maybe it's time you
did."

"The waves are one thing, a
pool full of water is another."

"Are you afraid of the
water?"

She blushed.  "I guess I am. 
I love sitting on the dock or watching the ocean, but when it comes to getting
in, I'll leave that to the fish."

He laughed, and it felt so good. 
The last time he laughed...  He couldn't remember when.  He draped his arm
around her shoulders in the safest, friendliest way he could muster without
curving her into his arms to kiss her.  "Pack your suit, anyway.  You can
always just stand in the shallow water to cool off.  The weatherman is
predicting higher than normal temperatures tomorrow."

Gillian turned her face up to his,
her huge brown eyes searching his face.  His arm tightened around her and he
almost pulled her into his body.  Then he remembered what was at stake--his
relationship with Maddie and Dana.  He might want to take Gillian to bed, but
he wouldn't.  He could control his urges, because urges led to entanglement. 
Right now that was the last thing he needed.

Yet, as he guided Gillian back the
way they'd come, he realized having his arm around her felt almost as good as
kissing her.

Almost.

#

Nathan grilled steaks on the patio
while Gillian popped two potatoes in the microwave and tossed a salad, thinking
about their talk on the beach and the way Nathan had looked at her.  She'd
hoped he would kiss her, yet hoped he wouldn't at the same time.

Through dinner, the pull toward him
didn't lessen.  Afterward, as they sipped from tall glasses of iced beverages
on the patio, Nathan asked, "So what do you do when you're not solving
missing-person cases?  You said you have a degree in business."

Nathan listened well.  He didn't
forget anything she said.  "When I got out of college, I didn't know
exactly what I wanted to do.  I'd helped several police departments over those
years and they had referred me to others.  So I wanted something with
flexibility."

"For that, you need to be your
own boss."

Gillian took a sip of fruit juice,
then nodded.  "Exactly.  So Mom retired from teaching and with some of her
savings, we opened a craft store.  We sell supplies, take crafts on
consignment, and teach how-to courses."

"What about your dad?"

"He and Mom divorced when I
was seven.  He took a job in  Missouri.  I see him about once a year.  He never
made the effort you made...you're making.  I guess that's one of the reasons I
decided to help you search.  Because I can understand how Maddie and Dana
probably feel with you missing from their lives."

"I've never met anyone as
honest as you," Nathan said softly as he searched her face.

She felt heat suffuse her cheeks. 
"You're exaggerating."

"I'm not.  You're special,
Gillian."

"You mean my gift is
special."

He leaned close to her and traced
the line of her cheek.  "No.  That isn't what I mean.  Your gift is part
of you but it's not all of you."

His fingers burned against her
skin.  It was a heat that  went much deeper than the moment.  "I came to California to find out if I am more than my gift.  But it's so integral to what I feel and
think and see.  Maybe I can never separate myself from it."

"Maybe you shouldn't
try."

Nathan's voice and touch tugged at
her heart the way no other man's ever had.  Fighting their pull was becoming
more and more difficult.

Thankfully he leaned away, stood,
and took their dishes into the kitchen.  When he returned, he held an
electronic tablet in his hand.  "I'd like you to look at this."

As Nathan handed her the device,
Gillian leaned forward.  It was a map of France.

"I thought looking at it might
give you a sense of where the girls are."

He always talked about the girls,
not Leona.  Did he think of her when he thought of Dana and Maddie?  As Nathan
towered over Gillian, his expression intent, she realized she cared about how
much he thought of his ex-wife.  A warning bell went off in her head, and she
bit her lower lip.

Focusing on the map, she followed
her instincts, wondering why she hadn't thought of this.  Too interested in
what was happening between her and Nathan?  Her finger went to a particular
spot.  "There."

Nathan asked, "Have you ever been
to France?"

She shook her head.

"Studied France?"

She shook her head again.  "I
studied Spanish."

He almost smiled.  "The area
you just pointed out is where the Chateau des Fleurs is located.  I suppose
Leona and the girls could still be in that area somewhere."

"I wish I could tell you
more..."

As her voice trailed off, he took
the tablet from her hands.  "I'm pressuring you."

"You want answers.  I'm sorry
I can't give them."

He laid the device on the counter. 
"We both need to relax.  How about a swim?"

"I don't know..."

"It's a beautiful night."

"It's getting dark," she
murmured.

"The pool has lights."

She didn't know why she was
fighting the idea.  Sure, you do.  Her mind formed a picture of Nathan in a
bathing suit, and her insides quivered.

He waited for her answer.

What would they do if they didn't
swim?  "I've never been in a pool at night.  It'll be a new
experience."  She pushed her chair away from the table and stood. 
"I'll go change."

#

A few stars twinkled in the
darkening sky as Nathan lowered himself to the edge of the pool.  He had
suggested they swim, hoping he'd cool off.  Standing close to Gillian, sitting
close to her without wanting to touch and kiss her was getting more and more
difficult.  The urge to pull her into his arms was strong.  Too strong.

The sliding glass doors opened, and
Gillian stepped onto the patio.  Even though a lacy white oversize shirt
covered her from shoulders to knees, his body tightened as he glimpsed her
curves molded by the white one-piece suit underneath.  So much for cooling off.

With an uncertain smile, she asked,
"How's the water?"

"The solar cover keeps it
warm.  It's just right."

She opened the gate and came into
the pool area, unfastening one button and then another.

Nathan slid into the water so Gillian
wouldn't see what was happening to his body.  "So why didn't you ever
learn to swim?"

After tossing her cover-up onto a
chair, she came to the steps.  "When I was little, I was out on the lake
in a canoe with two older cousins.  They started horsing around and the canoe
tipped over.  The safety pillow I'd been sitting on fell out of reach.  I went
under a couple of times before my cousin Jim pulled me to a raft.  After that,
I sat on the edge of the dock.  I didn't go in the water."

"You must have missed out on
fun in the summers.  Didn't your friends tease you?"

"Deep River isn't Los Angeles, Nathan.  When a group of us went to the pool, we gossiped and watched boys. 
We didn't care about the breast stroke or the crawl."

He cocked his head.  "You
watched boys, huh?  The same way boys watch girls?"

"I'm not sure.  Exactly how do
boys watch girls?"

She'd turned that one around on
him, all right.  He grinned.  "We checked out their smiles, of course. 
Who was friendly, and who wasn't."

"You expect me to believe
that?" she teased.

He held up one hand.  "Scout's
honor."

"I don't think you'd want me
to check with your former den leader."

As they stared at each other for a
few moments, Nathan realized it had been years since he'd bantered with a
woman.  Since his divorce, his life had consisted of work and his daughters,
not much else.  He'd dated a few women, women who were as serious-minded as he
was.  He'd even gone back to their condos.  But the nights he'd found release
for a physical need, he'd been dissatisfied and disappointed.  He wasn't cut
out to be a game-playing bachelor.

Yet, he hadn't been cut out for
marriage, either.

Gillian descended the steps,
letting each part of her become accustomed to the sensation of the water.  As
it lapped up inch by inch, Nathan gave in to the pleasure of the slow torture
of watching her.  His pulse pounded as she got wet.

The water at her waist, she raised
her eyes to his.  "This is deep enough."

He could see she was serious.  The
surge of desire that had aroused him gave way to the need to take away her
fear.  "Gillian, water can be friendly.  Would you like to learn to enjoy
it?"

Her brown eyes widened.  "You
mean learn to swim?"

"It's never too late.  You
won't let me pay you for your help.  Let me teach you."  Before she could
refuse, he added, "If you're going to be in L.A. any length of time, you
should learn.  You'll have more fun at the beach."

"Not if I forget
surfing," she said in a dry tone.

He laughed and held out his hand. 
"Come on."

She looked at his hand, then she
looked at him.  "Come where?  You mean I can't learn in three feet of
water?"

"Let's try five."

"But I'm only five-five!"

"Trust me, Gillian.  I won't
let anything happen to you."  He was sure of that, as sure as he was that
Gillian was different from any woman he'd ever met.

He could see the fear in her eyes
as she walked toward him, but she kept coming.  He nodded to the sliding board
at the deep end.  "You'll be sliding down that before you know it."

"Not in this lifetime."

He chuckled and backed up. 
"Just a little bit further.  After the five foot mark it slopes fast to
eight."

"Nathan..."

"It's okay.  You don't even
have to get your face wet."

She lifted scared brown eyes to
his.  "You're not filling me with confidence."

He held out his hand again.

She took it.

Even in the water, or especially in
the water, Nathan could feel the electricity between them.  Ignoring the
messages it was sending to his body, he cleared his throat and said,
"You're going to use me as a ballast.  Let my hand take your weight as you
move your legs as if you were pedaling a bicycle."

"And you believe this is going
to work."

"Sure do."  Holding out
his other hand, she reluctantly placed hers in it.  He could feel the rigidness
and tension in her grip.

"I'm right here.  Relax,"
he commanded gently.

"Easy for you to say."

Suppressing a smile, he suggested,
"Pretend it's a beautiful sunny day and you're out for a ride through the
park.  You do have bicycles and parks in Indiana."

She glared at him.

"Close your eyes and imagine
it."

She closed her eyes, her long
lashes a brush of light brown against her skin.  Golden.  Even at night, her
hair, her face, and especially her smile radiated a golden glow.

He didn't quite believe the
rational voice that also denied intuition, feeling, and a sixth sense.