Natural Born Daddy (14 page)

“I still have a very important matter pending,” he said, his gaze even with hers and unrelenting.

She seemed to squeeze Dani a little more tightly against her body, the protective instinct of a mother with her endangered child. Or was it the mother who felt endangered in this instance?

“Jordan, this isn't the time,” she said briskly, warning him to silence with a glance at Dani, then adding pointedly, “I have work to do.”

“And I'll help,” he promised. “But you have to break for lunch sometime. Why not now? I see the perfect spot over there under that old cottonwood.” He gestured toward the basket he'd filled with sandwiches and ice-cold lemonade. “I brought a picnic.”

“With potato salad?” Dani asked, oblivious to the undercurrents between the two adults. “And peanut butter and jelly?”

“You bet,” he said, relieved that he'd thought of a child's tastes and included the peanut butter and jelly. “Cookies, too.”

Kelly shook her head. “At this rate, you're going to win by default,” she accused, relenting and turning her horse toward the shady spot to the west. “The ranch will fall apart because the work's not getting done, then where will I be?”

“You'll always have a place with me.” He gazed directly into Kelly's eyes again as he set Dani down and sent her off to unpack the picnic basket. “Would it be so awful?” he asked when Dani was out of hearing.

A glint of determination flashed in her eyes. “Under those circumstances? Yes,” she said without
hesitation. “I told you that fixing this place up is important to me.”

Jordan couldn't help admiring the streak of pride that kept her focused on making a go of this ranch entirely on her own, even if it was making his task a whole lot harder. “Then I'll just have to help ensure that it doesn't fall apart, won't I?”

She frowned. “We've been over this already. I won't take your money, Jordan.”

“How about my help?” he retorted softly.

She hesitated, then sighed. “No rancher ever turns down an offer of help,” she said. “As long as there are no strings attached.”

“No strings,” he assured her. Just when she appeared to relax slightly, he added, “For now.”

* * *

Kelly was losing the battle. Every time she turned around all week long, Jordan was there, offering support, muscle and laughter. Every night Dani crawled into his lap after dinner and begged to be told a story about when he and her mother were little like her. Jordan seemed to enjoy the reminiscing almost as much as Dani did.

Even the old tomcat had turned traitor. He'd taken to curling up at Jordan's feet, purring loudly whenever Jordan deigned to rub his stomach.

More often than not, though, his gaze would cut to Kelly, rocking slowly in the chair next to his on the porch. Whenever she dared to meet his eyes, she saw something there that stunned her, something that might have been love, something that unmistakably was pure, raw desire.

And yet he hadn't touched her. There'd been no more bone-melting kisses, just spine-tingling, sizzling looks. He was so careful to avoid even the most casual contact that she almost screamed with frustration. Her skin heated with anticipation whenever he neared. Her entire body ached with longing. These old, familiar, unfulfilled yearnings were driving her flat-out crazy.

“You okay?” Jessie asked when Kelly called her on Friday. Five days of skirting Jordan had taken their toll and obviously it showed in her voice.

“No,” she said succinctly.

“Uh-oh, what's Jordan done now?”

“Nothing.”

“Isn't that what you wanted?” Jessie asked, sounding vaguely confused.

“Yes…no.” She sighed heavily. “Dammit, Jessie, I don't know anymore.”

Instead of offering the sympathy she'd anticipated, her friend chuckled. “Oh, sweetie, I'm sorry, but watching the pair of you doing this dance of seduction is wearing me out.”

“How do you think I feel?” Kelly retorted.

“Let me ask you something. You admitted to me that you love him, so that's not the issue, is it?”

Leave it to Jessie to cut straight to the chase. “No.”

“And he obviously cares enough about you to want to spend the rest of his life with you and to raise Dani as his own. He may not call it love, but it's definitely a commitment, right?”

“Yes. What's your point?”

“Don't get mad at me for asking this, but do you think you might be holding out to punish him for all
those years when he never gave you a second glance?”

“That's absurd,” Kelly said indignantly. “What would be gained by that?”

“Satisfaction, maybe,” Jessie offered. “Tormenting him might be a kind of sweet revenge for all those years you spent silently suffering.”

“Absolutely not. That's not the kind of person I am.”

“Not normally, I know, but these are unusual circumstances. It might be natural to want to exact a little revenge because he flaunted all those other women in your face. I'm not saying that's what's behind your indecision here, I'm just suggesting you think about the possibility.”

Jessie's suggestion angered her. She didn't like thinking she was capable of exacting revenge for deeds she thought she'd long since forgiven, deeds that had never been meant to hurt her in the first place. Still, she knew her friend wouldn't have mentioned it if she didn't think there might be some validity to it.

“I'll think about it,” Kelly agreed.

In fact, she thought about little else for the rest of the day. She recalled all the instances when Jordan had spent hours on end talking about the hottest girls in high school and asking her advice on how to get them to go out with him. Not that he'd had that much trouble. Even as teenagers, girls had gravitated to him because of his good looks and fun-loving personality. It hadn't hurt that he was a star athlete, too.

He'd been equally sought after during his one year in college, chased when he'd been working the oil fields, and on every year's most eligible bachelor list
once he'd settled in Houston. He'd had more relationships than she could count, but when each one had ended for one reason or another, he'd always come back to her to lick his wounds. She'd consoled him, boosted his ego with her nonjudgmental adoration, made him laugh again.

And all the while, her own heart had ached.

When she'd finally tired of the pattern, she had turned to Paul Flint and impulsively married him, determined to put Jordan and her wasted emotions behind her once and for all.

But Jordan had refused to stay out of her life. He had befriended Paul, even though he couldn't stand him. He'd stayed on the fringes of their lives, close enough to pick up the pieces when the marriage had fallen apart. The divorce had taken a long, messy year or more after she'd returned to her family's ranch. Jordan had stuck by her through every terrible minute of it.

She'd experienced a wild moment of hope then, sure that it was finally their turn. Within weeks, however, he had announced his engagement to Rexanne. Though Kelly had known better than to hope for the impossible, she had been devastated just the same. She'd shored up her defenses so securely after that that the marines couldn't have penetrated.

All that night she lay awake considering Jessie's question. Was it possible that she was cutting off her nose to spite her face, just to get even with Jordan for not turning to her sooner? Was she holding out for moonbeams, when what he was offering was much more solid?

From practically the first moment she'd ever set eyes on Jordan she had known in her heart that he
was the man she would one day marry. That sense of inevitability had taken a very long time to shake. Now, when she'd least expected it, her chance was finally here and she couldn't seem to bring herself to say yes. Was that nothing more than pure perversity?

As Jessie had pointed out, he might not have said the words she desperately wanted to hear. He might not have said he loved her, but he was willing to stand up in front of God and everyone and declare his intentions to love, honor and cherish her for the rest of their days.

In that moment, she made up her mind. If Dani had no objections, if Jordan's determination hadn't wavered, she would say yes.

And then she would dedicate the rest of her days to making sure that neither of them ever regretted the choice they had made.

“M
ommy, is Jordan going to be my new daddy?” Dani asked the following morning while shoving her French toast around in a puddle of syrup.

The unexpected question brought up the subject that had kept Kelly awake all night long.

“If he has his way, he is,” Kelly muttered before she could catch herself.

She hadn't anticipated getting into this before she'd even had her first cup of coffee. In fact, she hadn't intended to get into it with her daughter at all, at least not until the matter was more settled with Jordan himself.

“When?”

“That's hard to say, sweetie. There are some things we have to work out.”

“Like what?”

Kelly thought of all the doubts that had chased through her mind. None of them were things she could share with her daughter. “Just things,” she said evasively.

Dani studied her intently and apparently concluded Kelly still wasn't convinced that Jordan would make
a proper daddy. “I like Jordan,” she informed her mother firmly. “I think he would make a very good daddy.”

Kelly wondered if her daughter had insights into Jordan that hadn't come to her yet. “Why is that?” she asked.

“He brings me candy.”

Kelly refrained from labeling the candy what it was—bribery. Hadn't he tried the very same tactic on her? She'd already told Jordan half a dozen times to cut it out or he'd be paying Dani's dental bills.

“Don't you like Jordan?” Dani inquired worriedly. “You used to be bestest friends, that's what you said.”

“Most of the time I like him very much,” Kelly conceded.

“More than Daddy?”

Ah, now there was a mine field if ever Kelly had seen one. She had prepared an answer to that long ago, knowing sooner or later that rather plaintive question or one very similar was going to come up. Dani was too precocious not to ask difficult questions about the man who had sired her but spent very little time in her life.

“Your father is a fine man,” she said, almost by rote. “He and I just weren't well suited. We were very young and we made a mistake getting married.”

Dani contemplated that for a while, then turned a troubled look on Kelly. “Was I a mistake, too?”

Tears sprang to Kelly's eyes. She wrapped Dani in a hug and squeezed, peppering her worried little face with kisses. “Never, not in a million years. You are the very best part of my life. I wanted you more than anything.”

“Daddy, too? Did he want me more than anything?”

Kelly cursed the man she'd once been married to for putting her on more tricky turf. Paul had never been inclined to have children, had agreed to Kelly getting pregnant only after frequent arguments. It had been yet another mistake on Kelly's part. She had thought Paul would love being a father, once he'd gotten over being terrified by the idea of it. She'd been convinced he would take to it. He hadn't. It was one reason she'd watched Jordan's behavior with Dani so closely, one reason she had fretted over how well the two of them would get along. Now, thankfully, she knew there was no comparison.

All of which didn't give her an easy answer to Dani's question.

“Your father loves you very much,” she said, forcing a note of conviction into her voice that Paul didn't deserve. She wouldn't be the one to ruin his relationship with his child. He was doing that very nicely all on his own. She hoped someday he would wake up and realize how much he'd missed and suffer regrets for the rest of his life.

“Then why doesn't he ever come to see me?” Dani asked.

“Because he's very busy.” The excuse came automatically. She'd been uttering it since the day of the divorce. And for a long time before that, for that matter.

“Jordan's busy, too,” Dani stated. “He has a great big company to run and he comes. He's been here a whole week now. He even reads me a bedtime story every single night. Daddy never does.”

Kelly thought of her ex-husband's difficult childhood, a childhood he'd used to excuse his need for excess, for more money and more women, just to prove his own worth.

“I don't think anyone ever read to your father when he was little,” she said, trying to give Paul the benefit of the doubt one more time. “He doesn't realize how important it is.”

Dani shot her a confiding look. “Jordan says he likes to read to me.”

Kelly had noticed that herself. After his initial reservations, Jordan had seemed to enjoy the quiet evening time with Dani as much as she always had. “Does he now? Did he say why?”

“Because he likes all those stories, but grown-ups look silly reading fairy tales to themselves. He says he's going to teach me to read one all by myself for the times when he's not here.” She turned her dark, velvet blue eyes on Kelly. “I really, really hope you make Jordan my new daddy fast.”

In an unfortunate bit of timing, Kelly heard the screen door open just then.

“I really, really hope so, too,” Jordan chimed in, winking at Dani, who bolted from the table and threw herself into his arms. They both regarded Kelly hopefully.

Kelly might have been able to hold out against Jordan's powers of persuasion for a little longer, just to assure herself that the decision she'd reached in the dark of night made sense in daylight. Teamed up with her daughter, though, he was an irresistible force. She could do a lot worse than Jordan Adams. In fact, she already had.

She lifted her gaze and met his eyes and saw something there that stunned her—uncertainty. Jordan was vulnerable where she was concerned. It was hardly a declaration of undying love, but it was a start, something to build on.