Read Natural Consequences Online
Authors: Elliott Kay
Natural Consequences
Natural Consequences
By Elliott Kay
Cover Illustration Copyright 2013 Lee Moyer
Cover Design Copyright 2013 Lee Moyer
Leemoyer.com
Kindle Edition, License Notes
This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.
Natural Consequences
contains explicit sex, explicit violence, explicit expletives, violent misuse of office equipment, nudity, perfidy, disruption of public transit services, polyamory, theft, arson, open relationships, trespassing, heterosexual foreplay, lesbian sex, depictions of beings of a divine and demonic nature bearing little resemblance to established religious or mythological canon, cell phone hacking, contempt of court, flagrant violations of civil rights, dangerous use of alcoholic drinks, infidelity, public sex, bras, panties, murder, attempted murder, blasphemy, atheist rationalizations, cannibalism, prostitution, decapitations, gossiping, defenestration, exsanguinations, tax evasion, oral sex, multiple threesomes, sexual harassment, ancient Babylonian marriage customs, horse-poisoning, stalking, selfies, bribery, assault under color of authority, fantasy depictions of sorcery and witchcraft, highly sexualized Halloween costumes, assault and battery, stabbings, excessive handcuff play, mayhem, explosions, existential discussions, controversial topics of sci-fi fandom, living room sex, home invasions, mind control, conspiracy, cohabitation outside of marriage, multiple references to British science fiction literature and television, bad study habits, government surveillance, donuts, discharge of firearms on Federal property, spousal abuse, interrogations, even more explicit sex, guys from Eugene, sexual harassment in the workplace, classroom misconduct, sexual misconduct, divine misconduct general misconduct, voyeurism, reckless driving, murder of Federal agents, poor firearms safety habits, misuse of a swimming pool for gladiatorial combat, insanity, immolations, public endangerment, sexual promiscuity, consistent contempt of vampires (screw ‘em, they suck), disorderly conduct, kidnapping of police officers, kidnapping of Federal agents, underage drinking, dismemberment, abuse of authority, still more explicit sex, electrocutions, destruction of private property, escape from Federal custody, barbering without a cosmetology license, World War I, betrayals, slavery, mild dom/sub play, cosplaying, a high school flashback, infidelity, reliable predictions of eternal damnation, destruction of a nice Zoot suit, nutshots, party fouls, littering, domestic violence, lengthy foreplay, abbreviated foreplay, disrespect for authority, falsification of records, prostitution, public indecency, impersonation of police officers, obstruction of justice, biting, clawing, hair-pulling, trash-talking and a general and willful disregard for traditional Western family values.
All characters are over the age of 18.
For Val,
who gave Rachel her voice.
Several people helped me out a lot with this book. I owe sincere thanks to Matt Y., Matt S., Miguel and Randy for their professional legal advice regarding numerous plot points. I did not set out to write an entirely realistic and fact-checked book about demons, werewolves and secret courts, but I prefer to at least know how the real world works when I decide to go off the rails. Their input meant a lot to me.
I owe a lot to Erica for the countless times I babbled to her about what I had written or what I planned to write. Every gaming geek knows that “Let me tell you about my character” is normally the kiss of death, but somehow Erica has let me tell her about my characters ad nauseum and yet she’s still with me.
I want to thank Lee Moyer, Venetia and Val for making my books look so good, and again to thank Jesse Means for helping me get my first book off the ground.
Numerous friends helped me via long and ridiculous Facebook conversations about love, dating, chapter titles, the proper handgun for causing explosive cranial catastrophes and the great debate over whether it’s better to behead one’s enemies or set them on fire. Both Matts, Jenny, Beth, Wolf and everyone else who beta read my book also deserve my thanks.
And as a matter of academic honesty and giving credit where it’s due, I want to thank Herodotus for telling me about the Babylonian Marriage Market in his
Histories
. Turns out that’s a really good book.
Chapter One: And It’s Only Tuesday
Chapter Two: Welcome to Our Madhouse
Chapter Three: It’s Worse Than It Looks
Chapter Five: Freaks Have More Fun
Chapter Eight: The After-Party
Chapter Nine: The Bedroom of Misfit Toys
Chapter Ten: It’s Cheaper than Therapy
Chapter Twelve: Cuffed and Stuffed
Chapter Thirteen: Extraordinary Measures
Chapter Fifteen: Alea Iacta Est
"This is the case of the United States of America versus Raven Sebastian Winterhome, AKA Sir Julian Storm, AKA Lord Marcus Etienne Ravenscar... birth name Marvin Kowalski," the judge added with a cynical frown. His eyes glanced up from the papers in front of him. "Are you Marvin Kowalski? Or any of these other aliases?"
The chamber bore greater resemblance to a bunker than a courtroom. The furnishings and layout were all present—tables for prosecution and defense, a judge’s bench and witness stand,
even an American flag in one corner—but the concrete walls had been left unpainted. Heavy steel doors fit for a naval ship lay closed and locked at either end of the room. The digital clock embedded in the wall noted an hour far too late for any ordinary court proceeding.
The judge
sat in black robes at his bench. The prosecutor and defense attorney both wore suits, as did the man and woman in the gallery. Three uniformed bailiffs stood at the ready. All attention fell on the deathly pale, young-looking man with black hair, frosty blue eyes and the bright orange jumpsuit of a prison inmate behind the defense table. Thick chains connected his manacles to a similarly thick bullnose ring imbedded in the floor. He could stand and sit, but not much else.
“Fuck you, chum,” the pale man said. His Cockney accent
and defiant tone contrasted sharply with the calm, business-as-usual demeanor of the judge. “This ain’t no real cour’room. Why’nt you tell me wot the fuck you lot ‘re doin’ an’ knock off the fucking charades, eh?”
“Mr. Kowalski,” murmured t
he suited attorney to his right, “speaking to the judge like that won’t do you any favors.”
“Piss off.”
The judge was unmoved. "I am Judge Eduardo Castillo. Mr. Kowalski, you've been charged in an indictment with the murders of Caroline Morris, Raymond Wong, and Douglas Kramer. You are also charged with three counts of kidnapping, twenty-three counts of aggravated assault, assault on federal agents, resisting arrest, misprision of felonies and tax evasion." He lifted his eyes toward the defendant. "Do you have a copy of the indictment?"
“Fuck yourself wi’ your indictment. Stick it up your crusty arse!” The defendant tugged at his chains, struggling as if he had every reason to believe they might break. “Let me the fuck ou’ of ‘ere! You sacks dunno w
ot you’re dealin’ with!”
“It’s here, your honor,” said t
he attorney beside the prisoner.
"Very well. Mr. Kowalski, let me inform you of your constitutional rights. You have the right to remain silent. You don't have to say anything to anyone. Anything you say can and likely will be used against you. Do you understand your right to remain silent?"
“Fuck you. That’s what I understand.”
The defense attorney leaned
in and hissed, “Mr. Kowalski, do you understand that this is quite probably a capital case?”
“Oh, piss off, mate!
These fuck’ead Feds jus’ jumped me in the parking lot of a fucking ‘otel three hours ago! Even if this is a real court, all o’ this is bollocks an’ they know it! So either quit the fucking farce an’ tell me wot’s goin’ on, or give me my phone call so I can get a real fucking lawyer!”
“Mr. Kowalski,
they know what you are
.”
Taken aback by the warning, the defendant asked, “W
ot?”
“Your fangs are showing,” advised the attorney.
Kowalski’s eyes widened in fear. “There’s no law against that!”
“You’re not on trial for that. Read the indictment.”
Judge Castillo continued. "You also have the right to representation by a lawyer with appropriate security clearances. Counselor Lopez, who holds proper clearance, currently assists you. Do you have a different lawyer with top secret clearance you would like to use?"
"Wait, clearance?"
the defendant blinked. "Wot the fuck you talkin’ abou’?”
"Mr. Kowalski, this court operates under top secret Federal orders
pursuant to national security. You will make no phone calls. You do not get to pick any old attorney off the Internet. So again, do you currently have on retainer an attorney with top secret clearance? If not, I will appoint Counselor Lopez to continue to represent you. The court will cover all expenses in such a case."
"What the
—wait, this is ridiculous!" the defendant spat. "I want a real fucking court with a real fucking lawyer and a real fucking judge! Don't give me this 'top secret' bullshit!"
"Very well," Castillo conceded. "I will remand you to the Federal District Court of
Los Angeles. Your arraignment will proceed at 10 am on Tuesday, October the 22nd."
Marvin's bluster ground to a halt.
So did his phony accent. "Wait, what?"
“10 am, Tuesday, Los Angeles,”
Castillo repeated.
Marvin blinked nervously. "Ten in the morning?" He swallowed, looking to
Lopez on his left. "They can do that to me?"
Lopez
gave a bit of a nod. "The regular courts run on regular schedules. This is the only court in the nation that accommodates supernatural conditions."
"None of the other courts fucking
know
about supernatural conditions!"
Again,
Lopez nodded. "It's a problem," he sniffed.
Marvin looked from the judge to the lawyer and back again. "Uh, Judge... I think... I think I'll take this court. And, uh, this lawyer."
"Understood. I hereby appoint Michael Lopez to represent you. Is defense counsel prepared to proceed with the arraignment?"
"Yes, your honor,"
Lopez answered.
"Are you correctly named in the indictment? Would you like me to formally read the indictment into the record?" He took his cues from
Lopez's short, quick replies. "How do you plead?"
Lopez
glanced at Marvin, who looked back at a complete loss for words. “Your honor, my client pleads not guilty,” Lopez announced.
Castillo's attention turned to the
prosecution’s table. "What is the government's position on detention?"
"Your honor, the defendant struggled violently against arrest, assaulting several Federal agents," the
prosecutor explained. "His health conditions require the ingestion of warm blood, and he has shown every willingness to commit assault to attain it. He has also demonstrated extraordinary strength, speed and stealth, and is largely unharmed by most weapons carried by police or the general public. It is the government's position that he is a severe flight risk.”
"Very well,
Counselor Oswalt," Castillo nodded, "Mr. Kowalski will remain in Federal custody until trial."
“What?!” Marvin burst. “That’s it? That’s my bail hearing?”
“Yeah, they always screw my clients on that one.” Lopez glanced at his watch. “Look, you’ll get two liters of fresh chicken blood every night.”
“Chicken blood?!
”
Behind him, the suited man rose and turned for the door. He was a trim man in his early thirties,
tall and clean-shaven. He held the door for the younger woman who followed him out while Kowalski unleashed a torrent of worried questions on his attorney.
“That one’s gonna be a slam dunk,” said Agent Paul Keeley
.
A
gent Amber Maddox was not so comfortable with all this. It showed on her young, pretty face. Her pantsuit did little to show off her athletic figure, but that was how she preferred it in these environments. It was hard enough to be taken seriously when she looked even younger than she really was. Waiters and bartenders routinely double-checked her driver’s license. Dressing in anything but the most conservative styles at work typically drew the same reactions. Tonight, at least, she could accessorize with the small gauze pad taped over her temple. Kowalski’s arrest had not gone as smoothly as anyone had hoped, but in the end the Bureau got its man.
Kowalski had been her first supernatural
encounter. Up until now, she had focused purely on learning the ropes within the task force, building an airtight case and making the arrest. Thoughts of what would come after that had to be put on hold, but now those concerns were front and center. “What makes you say that?” she asked. “I mean, Kowalski is obviously not all that bright—“
“Dumb as a box of rocks,” interrupted Keeley with a wry grin, “if you want to be charitable.”
“—and his defense attorney might not be the most energetic I’ve seen—“
“
Lopez knows how to pick his battles,” Keeley shrugged. “He’s good at his job. Knows a shit case when he sees one. Not all those charges will stick.”
Amber paused, wondering if she should say something about being allowed to say her peace.
To his credit, Keeley caught onto her understandable frustration immediately. “Sorry,” he grunted, “it’s late. Go on.”
“Like you said, not all the charges will stick,” Amber said. “I mean, he gets a full jury trial, right? You said this is done by the book, secrecy notwithstanding?”
“Well,” Keeley shrugged, “they’re
entitled
to a jury trial. Doesn’t mean it actually happens. Remember what we told you about the loyalty oaths? Swearing fealty when they’re given the big bite and such? Secrecy is the most important aspect. Every vampire is brought in promising to keep their existence secret, even at the cost of their lives. They enforce that on one another brutally.
“
The second a vampire realizes he’s been made, he starts sweating bullets. Having to go through a trial like this is some scary shit for them, because even if they get out, their vampire buddies would be all over them to know if they slipped up even just a bit… and they wouldn’t be here if they hadn’t already slipped, right?
“A
jury is twelve more people who know the truth. That’s twelve more screw-ups on the vampire’s part. So usually they waive their right and opt for a bench trial. Lopez argues that the trial isn’t legit, because it violates the defendant’s Sixth Amendment right to a public trial; Oswalt says the defendant just waived that right by opting for this court over a regular public courthouse, and Castillo agrees, so that settles that. And then we move to the bench trial.”
Not for the first time this month,
a small part of her kicked herself for waiting until now to ask all this. It wasn’t as if Keeley or the other agents on the Kowalski case had held anything back. “And if they want a jury?”
“Then we give it to ‘em,” answered Keeley. “Twelve U.S. citizens, fluent and literate in English, with no previous connections to the case, who all hol
d top secret security clearance. And yes,” he added, “Lopez objects to that wrinkle, too, and points out that this creates a jury that is naturally predisposed toward the government. Castillo overrules and life goes on.”
Amber walked beside him
, unsure which question to ask next. That had more or less been the story of her life for these last few weeks. “So is this how it always goes?”
“For the vampires, yeah, pretty much,” said
Keeley. “We’ve had a couple curveballs, of course. In the beginning, everything seemed so crazy that there’d never be a normal. But you start to see patterns. The werewolves have their own goofy habits. And then there’re the other weirdoes,” he grunted, “but we haven’t caught enough of those other kinds to establish any baselines.”
Amber’s next question had been on her mind for some t
ime. Amid all the cloak and dagger procedures and the grim confidence of the task force, it had seemed almost naïve, but now she had to ask. “What are you gonna do when one of these cases ends in an acquittal?”
Keeley
came to another door. He paused before he opened it to look over his shoulder at the young agent. “I don’t know,” he smiled. “I’ll tell you when it happens. ‘til then, we keep moving on to the next case. And this one’s a bit of a problem.”
Amber followed him into a conference room dominated by a long table and a white projection screen opposite the door. The room’s
four occupants had all gone for loosened ties and rolled-up shirtsleeves. She saw Chinese take-out boxes, bottles of soda and a good number of manila file folders. One wall of the room was covered with suspect sketches.
“You ready for us, Joe?” Keeley asked as they entered. “Arraignment’s all pretty much finished anyway.”
Standing taller than the rest was a blond man with football hero shoulders, a square jaw and something just shy of a flat-top. The sight of Keeley and the other man together immediately made Amber think, “Good cop, tackle cop.”
She
met Agent Hauser briefly when she was first recruited onto the task force. He hadn’t said much at that meeting. Now, he acknowledged her with much the same grunt as then, but this time he spoke. “Agent Maddox,” he nodded, “it’s good to have you here. Congratulations on your first arrest with the task force.”
“Thank you, sir,” Amber mumbled.
“Everyone,” Hauser said to the others present, “this is Agent Amber Maddox. Received her high school diploma
and
her Associate’s degree at age 17 through Washington’s Running Start program. Graduated University of Washington with double honors degrees in chemistry and physics, age 20. Worked for three years in the Bureau’s Applied Sciences lab, then went to the Academy in Quantico and served in C.I.D. for a year before she signed on with the task force three weeks ago.”
