Authors: Neil Cross
Charlie woke him at 8 p.m. Patrick blinked up, into his boy's triangular face; the beardless chin, the high forehead. Charlie had a face which belonged to another age. All the scruffy hair in the world couldn't mask it.
And he stood there now in Army surplus boots, jeans, parkaâseventeen, the age Patrick's grandfather had been, when he went to fight.
He said, âI brought sandwiches.'
âCheese?'
âCorned beef.'
âCorned beef.'
Patrick crawled out from under the desk and stood. His knees popped, as loud as it was painful.
An icy starfield suspended above them, they trudged the curve of Monkeyland's main footpath, heading for the adventure playground. Faecal and urine odours drifted to them; the hot smell of life.
From the macaque cage came a sudden, shocked detonationâa frightened creature leaping to the safety of a high branch, to cower and watch.
Patrick and Charlie walked on, past the A Compound. In the pooled darkness, Patrick saw chimp movement, recognizable even in abstract. And he wondered at the boldness of Rue's poisoner: it was so dark, and the still winter was undercut by furtive snuffles and sniffs, secret whoopings, the articulation of beasts.
Perhaps there was an ancestral memory of the creatures that had once hunted on English soil: wolves, bears, boar. Not chimpanzees. Chimps belonged to a far older habitat, an older region of the mind, and it was eerie, to hear them prowling and rustling and hooting in the Devon night.
He hurried to catch up with his son, and together they passed the donkeys and crested the incline. The adventure playground opened out beneath them.
They found a place close to the tyre-swing and sat. Patrick liked it, heel to haunch in the darkness with his boy.
Another hour of waitingâand they were startled from their meditations by movement; stealthy, sleek, quick. A fox. It came sniffing from the trees, skittering at an angle towards them. Then it caught their scent and stopped.
It stood thereâslender and ribbed; a wild animal. Patrick supposed it came here to scavenge easy scraps. He felt for it; he felt sorry that he and Charlie had scared it.
He clapped his hands, once, resoundingly. The fox whirled and sprinted into the undergrowth.
Patrick stood. âCome on. Nobody's coming.'
That was the problem.
Sunday was supposed to be his day off, and he wasn't going to waste it. So he woke before dawn and crept around the creaky, higgledy old house, bundling his clothes under his arm, shivering, trying not to wake anyone.
Jane was in the deepest part of sleep: her cheek compressed on the pillow, her mouth budded open. She was breathing heavily, not quite snoring. He closed the bedroom door and, to pass the kids' rooms, adopted a high-kneed, cartoon-sneak.
Having been up so late, Charlie would sleep until lunch. But Jo was an early riser, a dawn bird, and she enjoyed having a cup of tea with Patrick, the two of them sitting at the big wooden table in the cobwebby kitchen with the absurd and unlit old Aga. So he had to be quiet.
Downstairs, he pulled on his jeans, his walking boots, a sweater with frayed cuffs and a hole in each elbow. He was tall, strong, thickening, turning in places to flab. A bony face, vertically scored and notched. He wore gypsy hair, shaggy curls that tickled his neck. It too had been dark, once; now it was streaked with grey. And still, a pirate's ring through his earlobe.
He grabbed a kagoul from a hook in the downstairs lavatoryâa clutter of coats and piled, muddy shoes that always smelled unairedâand stepped out into the morning.
The house stood alone in its two acres, the colour of biscuit, in need of repair and paint. It was old, ridiculously big, and not well-maintainedâits limestone was darkening with green lichen and damp and weathering. Two bats, pipistrelles, drew lightning loops and low dives over its crooked chimney-pots.
Patrick didn't feel like its owner, nor even its custodian. He just lived there.
He tramped across the overgrown acre of rear garden, the wild grass wetting him to the knees. Then he stood on the rotting stile and craned his neck. He couldn't see itânot over the hedge and through the bracken and past the oak treesâbut he could feel the ocean.
He crossed the stile into the oak woods, through which ran the South-west Coastal Footpath.
Dawn gave the air a blue-cathode light. Low mist clutched at his knees; it caught like gauze in branches and pooled in moss-draped roots. He walked the squelching topsoil, the leaf humus. Low branches, cold with dew, whipped his face. Then he passed through the trees and walked along the open clifftop, the Bristol Channel calm far below. He hiked down to the salt flats, on and into Innsmouth.
Nearest the harbour, the houses were small, lime-washed; many were now holiday homes and weekend cottages which hugged the narrow belt of the cobbled main street. He followed its bends to the harbour.
The boat was at the weir, bobbing softly on the swell, and Captain Harry was already on board, smoking a roll-up and listening to Motörhead on a tinny portable stereo.
Patrick clambered on board and paid Harry in cash, up front. The boat chugged out on the pewter water, luminous with sunrise, and Patrick smelled the salt and the fuel and the fish and oily, half-rotten wood.
They fished for a while, their silence broken by the occasional muttered comment. Patrick caught some skinny mackerel. He gutted them, and Captain Harry cooked them over a Primus stove; the blue flame whipping in the wind.
As he ate, Patrick noticed a disturbance in the water, a wake that moved against the waves. He followed it, and saw two fur seals, swimming by.
He knew seals were closely related to dogs. And that's how he thought of them in the fizzing instant before the water closed over their sleek wet heads: as dogs, swimming home. Because that's where dogs always went, in the end: dogs went home.
2
In the summer of 1979, Patrick was twenty-five years old and a junior reporter on the
Bristol Evening Post.
His Editor had told him to chase up a story on the white tigers of Bristol Zoo. Seventeen of them had been born since 1963, but most of them had died of a disease yet to be identified. Bristol was sentimental about its dying white tigersâso now and again, they made for an uncomplicated, effective bit of weekend copy.
So Patrick did as instructed. He picked up the phone andâafter some waiting, some transferred calls, sitting at his desk making paper aeroplanesâhe was put through to a zoo volunteer who might be able to help. She was a PhD student called Jane Campbell, and she sounded busyâbut she agreed to meet him at noon tomorrow, by the polar bears.
That was a hot day. He'd wandered in shirt-sleeves through the ice-cream crowds, towards the fishy bleach stink of the polar bear enclosure. His dad's old briefcase hung by its long strap over one shoulder.
He found the enclosure and looked around, craned his neck, stood on tiptoes. Then he saw a young woman sitting alone on a bench, arms tightly folded and ankles crossed before her. She'd been watching him. He approached her, a little flustered, breathless in the heat.
âIs it â¦?'
She stood. She was as tall as him. Tanned. Taut muscles under the skin of her forearm. When she shook his hand, good and firm, her skin was rough as pumice.
âJane Campbell.' She spoke like a soldier; clipped, no-nonsenseÂ, with a trace of accent he couldn't place.
He followed her through the crowds. She had a soldier's walk, tooâbrisk, erect.
They stopped at the tiger enclosure. Patrick had to speak up, over the noise of the punters and the low growl of the exhibits. âSo,' he said. âImagine I don't know anything about tigers. Why exactly are they white? Are they mutants or something?'
There were deep lines at the corners of her eyesâyears of squinting in fierce sunlight. She was twenty-four, but seemed older. She'd tied her hair back in a pony tail, frizzy with split ends, like a fistful of wheat. She wore a T-shirt and jeans, Adidas trainers.
âOr something,' she said. âTrue albinos have no coloration at all. But if you look closely â¦'
He looked closely. The pale tigers were circling on lazy, padding paws; they braided slowly through one another, like cats against chair legs.
â⦠you can see they have blue eyes. And the stripes are chocolatey. So what you're looking at is chinchilla albinism.'
âSpell, please?'
She spelled.
âAnd how long have you been working with animals?'
She turned away from the tigers. Stood in the English sun, with the English crowds behind her. She didn't belong there, and Patrick remembered that he didn't belong there either. He thought of sitting near the docks, kicking his legs, watching the ships cast off.
She said, âWhy?'
âBackground,' he said. âFor the story.'
But it wasn't.
He took her to a pub on King Street, the Llandoger Trow. In the Llandoger, Daniel Defoe met Alexander Selkirk, whom he later recreated as Robinson Crusoe. And it was in the LlandogerÂâfictionalized as the Admiral Benbowâthat Jim Hawkins unlocked Billy Bones's chest, thus discovering a fateful map of Treasure Island. The Llandoger was part of the mythology that clustered and barnacled to this city, these docks.
Patrick had read
Treasure Island
many times. He'd grown up reading such storiesâand
Bulldog Drummond
and
Biggies
and
Doc Savage,
too. A child, he dreamed of going to seaâworking a passage to the West Indies, or to South Americaâan innocent among roustabouts and criminals, but a quick learner and a canny fighter.
Instead, he was a junior reporter who wore curly hair longer and shaggier than fashionable young men wore it in 1979âpartly to hide the hoop of gold earring punched through his left earlobe. He wore a navy-blue suit with narrow lapels and carried his dad's old briefcase, brass buckled and scuffed.
And he drank in this pub, which had been bombed by the Germans, then turned into a Berni Inn. It was itself again, now, though. It had been rescued from the twentieth century.
He bought her a pint of cloudy cider and set it down on the table. Then he set down his Dictaphone and pressed RECORD.
Their eyes locked. Hers narrowed, playfully.
He looked away, at his reporter's notebook; spiral bound. Blank. A biro alongside it, chewed at the end.
He said, âSo. Back to basics. Where did you grow up?'
âGood question.' She leaned back in her chair and knitted her hands behind her head. Stretched. Then she leaned forward again.
âNepal and Malaysia. Fiji, for a bit. But Kenya, mostly.'
âWhy Kenya?'
âMy dad.'
âHe was Kenyan?'
âNope. He was obsessed by the Tsavo lions.'
In surprise, Patrick spilled the head from his pint. He cursed and lifted his Dictaphone from the wet. He passed it to Jane, then hurried to the bar for a cloth to mop up the pooling bitter.
She said, âAre you quite done?' and he nodded meekly, cloth in hand. Jane deposited the Dictaphone back on the table, shining now with drying loops and smears, while Patrick took the cloth back to the bar.
He knew all about the Tsavo lions. He'd read and re-read a book about them, rooted out from a junk shop in Merthyr Tydfil. In 1898, two lions had killedâand sometimes eatenâone hundred and forty men retained by the British East India Company to build a railway bridge. The lions were eerily prodigious predators. Many thought them agents of supernatural vengeance.
And now, before Patrick could think to restrain himself, he rattled off aloud the first passage of that musty, remembered old book:
âIt was towards noon on March the first, 1898, that I first found myself entering the narrow and somewhat dangerous harbour of Mombasa, on the east coast of Africa â¦'
Reciting it evoked sense memories, of being trapped in the wrong era, in the wrong country: longing to travel backwards in time, across oceans.
And now he was embarrassed, to hunger like a child for the kind of adventure this young woman took for granted. Her life was different, bigger than his.
He wanted a bigger life, too. And thinking it, he blushed. She saw, and acknowledged his discomfort with a tiny candle-flicker at the edge of her lips. âThey're strange-looking beasts,' she said. âHuge things. Much bigger than normal lions. Longer. And they've got no mane.'
She sipped cider.
âMy dad's had a lifetime of obsessions,' she told him. âThe Tsavo lions are just the latest and the longest. So far.'
To be close to the lions' descendants her fatherâJockâhad acquired a facsimile Georgian manor, erected years before by some nostalgic expatriate. Two years later, he owned and was running a safari park. He named it âLion Manor'. And that was where, since she was twelve, Jane had grown up.
A number of famous people had stayed at Lion Manor, but Jane couldn't remember their names. There'd been an American news anchor, some English actors. Perhaps a James Bond.
Patrick drank off his bitter and set down his glass. Then he turned off the Dictaphone.
She said, âEnough?'
He said, âOf course not.'
Saturday night, he went to dinner at her Redland flat. The walls were hung with tie-dye wraps and cheap Hindu trinkets; they belonged to Jane's flatmate, a woman for whom time had evidently stopped when the Beatles split up.
Later, they went for a walk.
On the street, Jane took his arm. The night-time breeze, summer scented with diesel, blew in her hair. He'd known her for a thousand years. They'd been lovers, spouses, parents, in a previous life.
It was dark. The streets were all but deserted. They walked up to Clifton Downs, an area of high open grassland that overlooked the city. Bristolians would speakâwonderfully, he thoughtâof going
up the Downs.
On one side, the Downs plunged into the craggy fissure of the Avon Gorge. A suspension bridge had been strung across it, hung with fairylights like dew on a web.
Here, they were close to the zoo. If they were lucky, they might hear the low rumble of the white tigers, growling.
They stopped and faced each other. They were a little drunk.
Patrick said, âHow long will you stay?'
âNot long.'
He blinked it away. He wished he hadn't met her yet, that she was still in his future, instead of receding already into the past.
He wanted to reach out and grab her, fold her into him. But instead, he worked his hands into his pockets and blew the fringe from his eyes.
She reached out. Touched his brow.
âAll those curls.'
He needed to piss. There was nowhere to go but the bushes, and that was no good. You couldn't piss in front of a woman before you'd kissed her; not if you
wanted
to kiss her.
âSo what, exactly, takes you back to Africa?'
She crossed her arms and kicked at the grass. âWell, most female field-workers are primatologists. Actually, it's the only research field where women outnumber men.'
He nodded and frowned, wanting to look interested, needing to piss.
âThese women, they're brilliant. They spend years watching the interaction of chimps, orangs, gorillas. But the data, the long-term observation, it doesn't seem to be the point. It just makes for good publicityâthese good-looking white women devoting themselves to their apes. And there's a kind of racist undercurrent to it, a sex thing. It pisses me off, actually.'
âSo what are you studying?'
âHyenas.'
âAs in laughing?'
âAs in clitorises.' She considered him sideways.
He said, âSo what is it, with hyenas and their clitorises?'
âShe's got this huge clitoris. I mean, it's
enormousâ
a real schlongâat least as long as the male's. And she can erect it
at will.
Imagine that.'
âImagine.'
âAnd she's got a sack of fibrous tissue that dangles downây'know,
there.'
She nodded vaguely at his crotch; he erupted inside like an upended snowglobe. âIt looks like, it
feels
like, testicles.'
âFibrous tissue?' He thought about it. âWhy?'
She clapped her hands. Someoneâa stage-handâhad turned the arc-lights on behind her eyes.
âNobody knows! Not for sure. They're used in greeting ceremonies. A hyena erects its dick or its clitorisâit's difficult to tell which is which, even up closeâand they have a good old sniff and a good old lick.'
âFor some reason, I was unaware of this.'
âMost people are. But they shouldn't be, don't you think?'
âOh, definitely not.'
So they stood there, knowing it, until he muttered, âNo wonder they laugh.'
She nudged him with her elbowâit was sharp, and she was strong. And then Patrick said, âExcuse me,' and walked off to piss in the bushes; it was probably okay to piss in front of a woman who'd said
clitoris,
and
dick
and
testicles,
and
schlong.
She stood with her back to him, unembarrassed, rocking on the balls of her feet, humming a tune he didn't recognize and looking at the shining bridge, until he was finished. And then she unbuttoned her jeans and went for a piss too. She squatted in the bushes; the epicentre of a hiss, a rising cloud of steam, a whisper of relief.
On the afternoon of New Year's Eve, they went for a walk in the Mendips, a range of limestone hills south of the city.
They wore bright kagouls and hiked through a low, milky mist to the flat summit of Beacon Batch, carpeted in damp heather, and set down by the cairn. Patrick had a flask of tea in his knapsack, and they passed it between them. He told her about the ancient barrows and forts littered around the grasslands belowâthe burial places of forgotten kings. He pointed to where Weston super Mare would be, were it not so foggy.
He knew she wouldn't care about Weston super Mare; who would? But he wanted to show her things about England she didn't know.
In his pocket, he had tickets to that year's pantomime at the Bristol Hippodrome. It was
Babes in the Wood,
starring Jim Davidson and the Krankies.
Patrick believed Pantomime to be a window onto his nation's soul; he was explaining this as she passed him back the tea and said, âI'm pregnant, by the way.'
He jerked his headâshocked and birdlikeâto look at her. She lurched away, as if to avoid a head-butt.
âSorry?'
She excavated a pack of barley sugars from her kagoul pocket, popped one into her mouth and crunched it to shrapnel. âI'm keeping it. And blah blah blah.'
âWhat about your field study?'
âNo change. I leave in February.'
There was a noise in his head like a vacuum cleaner.
âYou're having the baby in
Africa
?'
âPeople do.'
He laughed out loud, because she was better than him. It was a glorious feeling. Liberating and exhilarating. She finished her barley sugar, pleased.
He said, âYou're unbelievable.'
âIf I want a baby, I'll have one.'
âDo you want one?'
She hugged her knees. âActually.'
âWow.'
She touched the back of his hand. âThis isn't your problem.'
âIs it a problem?'
âI don't know. Is it a problem?'
âI don't think so. I don't think it's a problem.'
They had their backs to the cold stone of the cairn; England was spread below them.
He thought about Jane's bedroom.
Its walls were bare, and she had thrown away the dank old carpet to expose the floorboards. There were bookshelves, an ugly Oxfam table on which sat a beautiful, beetle-green Underwood typewriter.