Natural Witchery (17 page)

Somewhere during the beginning of her senior year, she went from “Witchcraft yeah!” to “Oh-my-god-I-don't-want-anybody-to-know-that-my-mom-is-a-Witch”—which I will admit was damn near impossible. I had several books published now. I taught classes on the Craft locally, and even the major chain bookstore in town had hosted a few book signings. Now, whenever we walked in there to shop, I was greeted by name by the managers and employees and asked what new book I was working on. Occasionally they would ask what I thought of the New Age section or the seasonal Witchcraft-themed endcap displays. This
so
wasn't a secret anymore.

Since my daughter is also an avid reader, she was usually with me at the bookstore, and she would bristle and stalk away every time, muttering “I'm going to be in the history section.” And I began to notice that my daughter was flip-flopping back and forth about how she felt about her mom becoming more well known as a writer and how she felt about me being a public Witch. One day it was exciting, the next day she brooded about it and told me it was annoying.

For example, the day she went to have her senior pictures taken, she asked me to come along. And as it turned out, one of the people who worked at the studio recognized me and commented on how much they enjoyed my books. My daughter frowned at me and slipped into a dressing room to change her outfit, which gave me a moment to chat and to thank the person, and then to remind them gently that this was my daughter's day, so I wanted to keep the focus on her.

I mentally held my breath, figuring that my daughter would be angry that I had been recognized in public. But no, she seemed to shrug this one off. As we drove home, she asked me about it, so I answered her. Her response was that it was very cool that Witches were found everywhere—there's that chameleon quality again; maybe things weren't so bad.

Until she came home one afternoon in October of her senior year in an incredibly poor mood because a friend (who was also a cute guy) had taken her aside in concern about a rumor that he had heard. Silly me. I thought she was stressed out about the play tryouts that were coming up.

Yeah, you guessed it. The rumor was, “Isn't your mom a Witch? They say she writes books on it and everything.”

To which my daughter's answer was to say no, and to lie and say that she didn't have any idea what he was talking about.

Now I had a problem on my hands. She could have just laughed this off or said nothing, if she was uncomfortable with his question. Jeez, she'd been handling other questions like this with style for years. She had even helped me coach her older brothers on good or humorous responses for them to use.

I was flabbergasted and couldn't believe that she lied about it. I asked her what story she was going to invent the next time someone handed her a book with my picture inside of it and said, “Hey, that's your mom!” (Because that had happened already the summer before.)

I mean, honestly, was she going to come up with a “No, that's just my mother's evil twin” story? After an hour of top-volume arguing, capped off with her tearfully yelling that I just didn't understand, our happy home wasn't very happy.

Actually I did and do understand. Being a teenager is incredibly hard. They want to be an individual, but they are also afraid to stand out too much. At this point in their lives, they are deciding who and what they want to be. It's a tough time for any teen. And having a mother who writes books about Witchcraft takes it into a whole new league.

After things calmed down a bit, I asked her if she still considered herself a Witch, and she tearfully nodded her head yes. She just preferred to practice privately and as a solitary. Well, I certainly had no problems with that. However, I suggested to her that she needed to quit going back and forth with her feelings about the Craft, because she didn't get to have it both ways. I also cautioned her to carefully think about her actions that day, since when a Witch lies, it lessens the power of their spoken words. And no, that didn't go over very well either. She stomped off to her room and slammed the door.

A bit later, I heard her stereo kick up and could smell patchouli candles and some dragon's-blood incense burning in her room—the combination she typically uses to combat negativity and bad vibes. I didn't know whether to be offended or proud that she had thought to use it. I went for proud.

For the next few days, things were strained at home. My husband and I also argued about the situation, and my sons decided to voice their opinion and told their sister to get over it already—and was that a pleasant afternoon. Eventually everything cooled down. Then my daughter informed me that she was heading out to the public library to get a copy of the finally announced school play. Tryouts were at the end of the week.

That evening she quietly approached me and asked if I would run some lines with her, as she wanted to practice for her audition. Relieved that she was speaking to me again and didn't seem to be angry anymore, I popped up enthusiastically and didn't even think to look at the title of the play. She handed me the book, and I asked her what page to turn to. Then I saw the title.

The play was
The Crucible
.

No, I am not making this stuff up. These are the type of family situations I deal with. Personally, I think my sense of humor helps to keep me sane. At least my life isn't boring …

Well, now the mystery was solved as to why all the Witch rumors were swirling around high school. It was close to Halloween, and the high-school play was about the freaking Salem Witch trials! Goddess, give me strength. My gaze shot up to hers, and I bit my tongue to hold back my anger. My daughter looked defensive and nervous.

I tried for a nonconfrontational tone and failed, beautifully. “Are you kidding me?” I asked her incredulously.

She launched into a speech about how this was an important part of American history and that she wanted to audition for Abigail, the main character who was the manipulative, cruel ringleader of the accusing girls. I sat back on the couch, groaned, and put my head in my hands.

Honestly, I didn't know whether to laugh or to cry. “After everything that's happened in the last few weeks, you don't expect me to approve of this, do you?” I asked her.

“It's just a play, Mom,” she argued and then proceeded to tell me that the play made the accusers look incredibly bad—that the focus was on how one horrible girl ruined so many lives, all because she got dumped by a married man.

“And this is the character you want to portray?” I sputtered.

She started another impassioned debate of the pros of her being in this play. I could only think of the cons. Well, ultimately this had to be her decision—not mine. I sincerely hoped she wouldn't regret it.

I fell back on my standard operating procedure when things get tense: humor. “Aw, sis,” I sighed in resignation, “they'll toss me out of the union for this.”

“What union?” she questioned.

“The Witches' Union,” I shot back with a grin. She rolled her eyes at me for being a smart-ass and asked for my help with practicing for her audition again. So I helped her practice her lines and tried to keep any snide comments about the play to myself.

Tryouts went well, and she was called back to read again for the part of Abigail, which made her very hopeful. (Oh, and if you are wondering … no, I did not do any magick in regards to her tryouts. I kept my magickal fingers out of this situation, thank you very much. We had enough drama going on.)

A week later, when the cast was announced, she was ultimately disappointed. She did not get a part in the play, after all. Seems the director's kid got the lead. Ah, nepotism is alive and well. When she told me about the cast posting, I felt badly that my daughter was so disappointed, but honestly I was also relieved. In an attempt to cheer her up, we went out to dinner and took in a movie. A few days later, things went back to whatever passes for normal at our house.

I thought it was important to illustrate that no, my life is not full of faerie wings, harp strings, and pixie dust. I deal with the same problems with my teens that other practitioners deal with. And there are times in your life when you have to take a step back from your magick and let things work themselves out, as in this situation with my daughter.

Tossing magick in the mix would have only complicated matters, especially with all the tempers and strong emotions that were involved. Sometimes you say a little prayer to the Lord and Lady, stand back, trust in that loving environment that you have nurtured them in, and wait to see how things unfold. We are often so busy as Witches working to make change in our lives that we forget there are times to believe in our kids and to take things on faith.

I felt it was essential to give my daughter some space and some time to let her come to terms with her religion and magick all on her own during her senior year of high school. When all was said and done, she was more confident in her beliefs and herself. To my amazement, as she packed up for college in the fall her Bast cat-goddess statue and a few magickal books went along to the dorm. She also made a request for me to put together a few candle-free spells so she could work them discreetly while living on campus, which I promised to do.

Teens are like plants sometimes. We watch them bud, sprout, and grow, amazed at how quickly they are evolving and becoming young adults. There are cycles and seasons of growth to be respected here. So give them a helping hand when it's needed. Nudge them into a better place with loving discipline, which is like pruning away things that are unnecessary, and at other times offer a sort of parental fertilizer, which is a mixture of love, respect, encouragement, and praise.

In a few short years, you will stand back and marvel at how they've matured and grown. Then finally you can begin to enjoy the blossoming of a new adult member into the family and into your life. For parents, these teenage years pass swiftly by—just like magick. So remember to love your kids, enjoy the journey, and try and keep a good sense of humor.

[contents]

Chapter 7

When people go to work, they shouldn't have
to leave their hearts at home.

Betty Bender

Witchery at Work

Our jobs are a huge part of our everyday lives. Whether you work in an office, medical center, restaurant, factory, retail store, or anywhere else for that matter, there are many different kinds of magick, spells, and subtle psychic maneuvers that will positively influence the atmosphere at your job. Instead of just performing band-aid magick, consider employing them regularly so things run smoothly on a daily basis. By band-aid magick, I mean that you let things go until there is a problem, and then you scurry around trying to slap a spell here and there to cover up or to fix things. That's never good.

I believe that it's time for us as magickal practitioners to think about this scenario from a fresh perspective. Why not use our intuition and tap into that individual power? This will help make any witchery at work more potent, personal, and—of course—practical. After all, we spend at least a quarter of our day at our jobs anyway, so let's look at some fresh ways to enchant our working environments.

The power of color is one of those skills that as we learn, grow, and advance in the Craft, we tend to dismiss.
Well, I mean really,
you huff to yourself in annoyance,
I had my magickal color associations down cold in my first year …

But guess what? There are levels and layers to Witchcraft and to magickal knowledge. Do you utilize the subtleties of color magick in your daily working life? Or do you forget about it until your back is against the wall and then you pull out all the witchy stops? No, I'm not talking about candle colors—I'm speaking of the colors that you wear and display on your own body—as in the clothes that are in your wardrobe.

Common sense is genius dressed
in its working clothes.

R. W. Emerson

The Job, The Witch, and the Wardrobe

I have written about the practical use of color before, in both the home and the garden. But this time, we have a much more personal use for this magickal information. Your personal power is “colored” by the garments that you dress in. Color has been proven to affect people's moods and their reactions to each other, and it makes a considerable psychic impression on other people. Truthfully, they may have no conscious knowledge of why it affects them, but it certainly does. This is a handy advantage to have and to use to your own benefit. Plus, the clever use of color in your wardrobe brings a whole new meaning to the phrase “dressing for success.”

The following clothing shades are listed in color-wheel order. Compare these colors and hues to your current personal wardrobe, and see what your work clothes and accessories (ties, scarves, jewelry, or shoes) are telling others about you on an intuitive level. You don't have to run out and buy a whole new wardrobe; be practical, and use the tools that are available to you. If you want to pull in a touch of color magick at work, make the appropriate changes affordably with accessories or key pieces, such as a scarf, tie, sweater, or shirt.

You could also be very discreet and use the following color magick information on a very personal level—where you know it's there, but no one else will. Consider magickally colored lingerie, stockings, socks, and underwear. You will find at the end of this catalog of colors a section on enchanting natural fabrics and how they can also affect your psychic and magickal energy flow. So take a good look at what's in your current wardrobe and conjure up a bit of colorful wardrobe magick.

Brown—
This is a warm, comforting color that grounds and helps quiet a mind that won't turn off. It is also a very nonthreatening color. Brown is linked to the element of earth, just as you'd expect, and is a fabulous warm and soothing color.

Burgundy—
A mixture of both powerful red and protective black, this is a color with a lot of oomph, and is one of those colors that is often overlooked. Shades of burgundy and maroon will actually protect you from the effects of certain types of needy and very emotionally draining people. Plus it wards off the occasional psychic vampire.

Mauve—
Mauve is a gorgeous color that encourages intuition and lessens mental confusion and the sensations of being overwhelmed by other stronger personalities. It also will help you gain cooperation from your coworkers. Mauve is actually a lighter tone of burgundy, so you can apply the qualities of burgundy in a lesser degree to this shade as well.

Pink—
This shade reduces stress, relaxes its wearer, and is a soothing and receptive color. But this color is not just for the ladies—while it invokes very soft, fuzzy feelings when worn on a woman, if you are a male who occasionally wears a pink shirt, offset that color with a navy or burgundy tie, and it will project that you are a compassionate, relaxed individual who is secure and confident in his own style.

Red—
There is something about red that just stops traffic (pun intended). There is the classic “I'm in charge” red suit for women, and the red power tie for the guys. This is a passionate and dynamic color. Associated with the element of fire and strong, intense emotions, this is the hue to go for when you want and expect your coworkers' full attention. See yourself as vibrant, strong, and intense; add a little red to your wardrobe, and see what happens!

Orange—
Orange punches up its wearer with confidence, energy, and enthusiasm. There are many gorgeous shades of orange, so choose the most flattering one for your skin tones. Wear orange to garner all the success you deserve and boost your self-assurance and personal energy level while you are at it.

Coral—
This is a high-voltage combination of hot pink and bright orange. Coral is an extremely assertive color, as it gives its wearer the impression of confidence and approachability. This is a great color to wear in a meeting when you are nervous but determined and still want to present yourself in the best possible light.

Yellow—
Wearing yellow to work brings a bit of sunshine into your day, as it will promote personal vitality and brighten your mood as it reduces depression. This sunny color is linked to the element of air, so as you'd expect, it also promotes communication and the flow of ideas. Yellow makes your professional talents shine to their best advantage.

Neon Green—
Neon green is still a popular color; however, I suggest using it in moderation at work, unless you want to really stand out. And if that is the case, go for it! Bright and glowing shades of apple, lime, and neon green will stimulate you and keep you fired up; they also encourage new business opportunities.

Green—
The primary shade of green is for promoting career objectives while bringing prosperity, good luck, growth, health, and strength. This color promotes heart chakra energy—no surprise there—and is the color of life. It also helps keep you gently grounded and is an excellent link to the earth and all of its magick.

Turquoise—
A mystical mixture of green and blue, turquoise is a fabulous color for healing, protection, and relieving stress. It's a great shade to wear when you need to pull up strength from deep inside yourself.

Blue—
This soft, healing shade can work wonders in a witchy wardrobe, as long as you don't go overboard with it. Blue represents the element of water, emotions, and psychic receptivity. Shades of pastel blue to denim can make you seem more open-minded and trustworthy—someone to confide in. It also helps you appear nonthreatening and will assist you in blending in and not drawing attention to yourself. However, if you wear too much blue, you may notice that you are feeling “blue” yourself, damn near invisible, or a little down in the dumps. So: all things in moderation, and remember to mix things—and your color palette—up.

Royal blue—
I think of this shade as electric, and this color is also commonly known as electric blue. It is a strong and dynamic color. Need a boost? Try working a bit of exciting royal blue into your work wardrobe. Associated with the prosperous planetary energies of Jupiter, this is the color for the movers and shakers. It grabs attention, is a forceful color, and can be very uplifting, protective, and powerful.

Dark Blue/ Navy—
This color is a mixture of blue and black, and it does inspire respect and confidence. Interestingly, it also creates the impression of emotional distance—the exact opposite of what the softer tones of blue will create—so bear that in mind.

Lavender—
A relaxing color, this tint brings out your inner beauty and is a calming color to wear in the middle of a crisis or deadline. Lavender shades provide the subtle undercurrents of the element of water. This color encourages tranquility and may help to counteract a jealous coworker.

Purple—
A favored color for magick users. The most royal of shades, it promotes fame, riches, respect, spirituality, and power. This shade also promotes inspiration and imagination. There are many shades of purple available, so again, choose the most flattering tone to complement your own coloring, and follow your instincts.

Silver—
This shimmering color promotes self-respect and spirituality. It can help reduce fears, while bumping up a feeling of safety and security. This is a Goddess color, and it is a motivational and receptive hue. If wearing a silver lamé blouse isn't your thing, consider silver jewelry.

Grey—
Illusion, neutrality, and glamour; this color promotes invisibility. If all hell is breaking loose at work and your boss is on the warpath this week, then grey is the way to go. It's not the only use, however. Grey is a good neutral color. And if you are comfortable in your grey skirt or slacks, then punch it up with a colored shirt, tie, or scarf and add a bit more color magick to the mix.

White—
A teaching and healing color—think doctors and nurses. Unless it is a part of your uniform, for best results, wear white in small amounts, otherwise it is overpowering. To be honest, there are very few people—unless they are super-thin runway models—who look good in a lot of white. So try a shirt, blouse, or sweater. To warm up mystical white and its effects, try a soft, warm shade of ivory.

Black—
This hue conjures up images of power, intrigue, and mystery. It lets folks know that you are in a position of authority. It is also a very fashionable and dynamic color for most people—think black tuxes and suits for men, or the black cocktail dress or a long, flowing, witchy ebony skirt for the women. Show me a Witch that doesn't have at least one all-black outfit! The color black establishes boundaries; it also can create a type of color shield, if you are the type to have your feelings hurt easily. Consider adding some black clothes to your wardrobe; depending on the cut and style, it can be used to attract attention or to deflect it. The choice and the power to wield that type of color magick is up to you.

Fascinating Natural Fabrics