Necessary Risk (Bodyguard) (35 page)

But if it kept them both out of harm’s way, maybe that was justification enough. She loved him, and she couldn’t let him keep putting himself in danger for her.

He kissed the top of her head, and her heart lurched. Given his relationship with his father, involving him without Sean’s consent was basically taking a stick of dynamite to the relationship they’d just started and blowing it to smithereens. But she also knew that Patrick was the only one at Virtus who held any kind of authority over Sean.

Maybe Sean would see that she’d had no other choice, and they could rebuild.

So many maybes and ifs. Too many. So she focused on the certainties.

She loved Sean. She wanted, more than anything, to get them both out of this situation. To keep him safe.

Sean loved her, and as long as Sacrosanct was still out there, he’d put himself in danger time and time again to protect her.

Maybe he would understand that she was doing this not just for her but for him. That she was doing this to protect him so that they could have a future together. That she was doing this because she loved him.

Another big maybe.

She was desperate, and with a sinking feeling in her stomach, she knew she had to take this chance. Take it and deal with the fallout once everyone was safe.

She sniffled, fighting back the tears stinging her eyes. Sean tipped her head up with a finger under her chin.

“Hey. Shhh. It’s OK. I’ve got you.”

She let the tears fall, savoring the feel of his arms around her while her heart tore itself to shreds. She wasn’t sure how long they lay like that, holding on to each other. Not long enough before he moved to sit up.

“I should hit the grocery store. The fridge is pretty bare. Anything you want me to pick up?”

She sat up and wrapped the blanket around herself, smiling weakly. “Some new underwear?”

He nodded and chuckled. “I won’t be gone long, and the building’s secure. Set the alarm behind me and call me or one of the guys if you need something.” He kissed her once, a brief, sweet kiss on the lips, and then started pulling his discarded jeans on. A few minutes later he left, and she watched the door click shut behind him. She picked up her phone, tears streaming down her face.

She called first Antonio and then Patrick, telling them about the informant Jack had managed to track down who wanted to meet with her to give her information on Sacrosanct. As she’d expected, both of them immediately jumped all over the plan, and she invited them to come over, hoping they could sway Sean to their side. But even if they couldn’t, she was still going through with it. They finally had a solid lead on Sacrosanct, and she intended to do her part in bringing it down. How could she not, after all the shit it had put her through?

Antonio and Patrick arrived together before Sean got home from the store, using Patrick’s key card to get into the building. She let them in and they all sat down around the small dining table adjacent to the kitchen.

“Where’s Sean?” asked Antonio, leaning forward on his elbows.

“He went to get groceries.”

“And what does he think of this?” Patrick eyed her skeptically.

She forced herself to meet their eyes. “We talked about it earlier, and he’s against it.”

“Wait, so you’re going over his head?” Antonio frowned at her.

“Yes. Sean and I don’t agree about this.”

“That’s because he’s not thinking clearly.” Patrick stabbed his finger against the table’s surface, shaking his head. “
This
is why you don’t get involved with clients. No offense.”

“None taken.”

At the sound of Sean’s key in the lock, they all turned, watching as he walked in with several bags from Ralph’s. He paused, his eyes jumping from her to Antonio to Patrick, and back to her. He dumped the bags on the kitchen counter and strode toward them, his hands on his hips.

“What’s going on? Did something happen?”

With her heart hammering in her chest, Sierra stood, knowing she was about to set fire to the best thing in her life. She just hoped the foundation they’d started would be enough to rebuild on.

“No, nothing happened. I called them to tell them about Jack’s contact, and they’re on board with the plan to meet with him.”

*  *  *

Sean’s stomach hardened into a rock, his throat constricting painfully as he tried to think through the anger beating through him and making it hard to breathe, hard to see. Hard to think.

“I…” He took a deep breath, his teeth clenched painfully together. “Can you give us a minute?” he asked his father and Antonio, tipping his head toward the balcony. Without a word they rose from their seats and went outside. For several impossibly long seconds, he and Sierra stared at each other, anger swirling through him because she’d gone over his head. Anger that after everything they’d shared, she didn’t trust him. That he was a goddamn fool who’d fallen for a woman who didn’t love him. How could she if she didn’t even trust him? He exhaled a long breath through his nose and pushed a hand through his hair. He didn’t know what to say, how to put into words the heavy disappointment pressing like a weight on his chest.

“What the fuck, Sierra?” His voice was quiet, shaking a little with barely leashed anger.

“I’m sorry. You didn’t leave me any other choice.” She looked down at her hands, her fingers twisted together.

He closed the distance between them in a few long strides and pulled out a chair, sitting down hard, his pulse pounding in his ears. “So this fucked-up mess is somehow my fault? No one forced you to e-mail Jack, and no one forced you to do this.” He crossed his arms and leaned back in his chair, staring at the woman who, although he’d known her only a short time, he’d started imagining a future with. A future that was now quickly fading and slipping out of his grasp.

“No, I didn’t mean it like that.”

He frowned, struggling to stay on an even keel. “How did you mean it? I thought you trusted me. I thought we were a team.”

“I do. We are.”

He leaned forward, shaking his head, anger and frustration tensing every muscle in his body. “No. If we were a team, you wouldn’t have gone behind my back like this. If you trusted me, you would’ve listened when I told you that this plan is a really bad fucking idea.”

She laid a hand on his arm, and he shrugged off her touch. He couldn’t think with her hands on him, and he was already having a difficult enough time wading through the angry fog clouding his brain.

She looked down and bit her lip, a tear sliding down her cheek. And fucking idiot that he was, he had to steel himself against reaching out and wiping it away. He’d fallen in love with a woman who didn’t trust him, who didn’t believe that he could keep her safe. Had all those times she’d told him she trusted him been lies?

Had Miami been one big lie? Had what had just passed between them less than an hour ago been a lie? She’d told him that she was his, but she wasn’t if she didn’t trust him to protect her. She wasn’t his, but he was still hers, and that disconnect…damn. It fucking
hurt
.

“I did it because I love you,” she whispered, tears still falling, and something broke open in his chest, and all the anger, all the hurt he’d been trying to hold back flooded out.

He leaned forward, his voice barely above a whisper. “Bullshit. You did it because you’re determined to get your way.”

“It’s not bullshit! It’s the truth! Do you have any idea how hard it is for me to watch you put yourself in danger, time and time again, and then to be told to sit back and do
nothing
when I have a chance to put an end to this?”

He scoffed out a mirthless laugh. “Do
you
have any idea how hard it is for
me
to find out that the woman I love doesn’t trust me? Doesn’t trust my judgment, or my ability to keep her safe?”

Her face crumpled. “I do trust you! Sean, I do.”

He shook his head. “I don’t believe you.”

More tears fell, and even though his anger was completely justified, he felt like an asshole.

“I know you’re angry, but let’s just get through this and then we can…”

“And then we can what? I don’t know where we go from here.”

She sucked in a sharp breath and pressed her fingers to her mouth. “What are you saying? That you want to end this?”

He rubbed a hand over his face. “No. I don’t know. I need to think.” His heart kicked weakly against his chest, and he leveled his gaze at her. “I’m so fucking pissed at you right now.”

She nodded, swallowing thickly. “I know. I deserve that. But I only did this because I love you and I want this over with. I hope you understand that, and I’m so sorry for hurting you. I don’t want this to be the end, Sean.”

His hands shook, and he could feel his world unraveling. Nothing made sense anymore. Without saying anything, he rose from the table and let his father and Antonio back in, both of them glancing warily between Sean and Sierra.

Patrick pointed at Sierra. “She’s right, you know. We need to pursue this lead.”

Sean stalked to his fridge, and even though it was only midafternoon, he grabbed a beer and wrenched the top off, crushing the metal cap in his fist. The teeth dug into his palm, sharp little points of pain that centered him, preventing him from getting lost in the anger and the pain pounding through him. He took a long pull and then sat down at the table again, not looking at Sierra.

“What I want to know is why this contact will
only
talk to Sierra. That doesn’t make sense to me,” said Sean, watching a drop of condensation trail down the outside of his beer bottle. “I don’t like it.”

Antonio nodded. “If Jack’s got an informant, I can talk to him instead. That would be safer. I’m with Sean. I don’t like the idea of you meeting with this guy alone.”

Sierra shook her head. “He won’t talk to the police. Jack thinks he’s wanted, and he doesn’t trust cops. He wants the information about Sacrosanct to get out, but he’s scared. He knows I’m not a threat.”

“Why is he willing to talk at all?” Sean paused, trying to articulate the bad gut feeling he had about the situation.

“He used to be part of Sacrosanct, and he doesn’t agree with what they’re doing.”

“Again, why doesn’t he just talk to the cops?” Sean looked up at the ceiling, his jaw clenched.

“You’ve seen what Sacrosanct can do. In his shoes I’d be scared too.” Patrick drummed his fingers on the table and looked at Sierra. “What do you want to do?”

She bit her lip, twining her fingers together. “I’ll call Jack and tell him to arrange the meeting. We’ll find out when and where, and then I’ll go, get the information, and report everything to the police.”

“For the record,” said Sean, taking another long pull of his beer, “I
fucking hate
this plan.”

“I think what Sean’s trying to say is that you can’t go by yourself.” Antonio tented his fingers.

Sierra met Sean’s gaze, and he looked away, some of his anger fading just the tiniest bit as he thought of everything she’d been through. While he didn’t condone the way she’d gone behind his back, he could kind of see why she’d done it. There was something sweet about the way she was so worried about him, so concerned for his safety when she was the one under fire.

But he was still angry. This plan was still stupid and dangerous, and the fact that she’d gone over his head still hurt, mainly because it showed him things about their relationship he didn’t want to see. The lack of trust. The now uncertain future.

“We can outfit her with an earpiece, and we’ll be nearby, ready to jump in if anything happens,” said Patrick, as though it were the simplest thing in the world.

“And just send her in alone, unarmed?” Sean snorted. “Abso-fucking-lutely not. Not happening.”

“You don’t…I mean…I know you’re not on board.” Sierra cleared her throat, her eyes still a little red. “You don’t have to participate.”

Sean’s eyebrows shot up, fresh anger coursing through him. “Are you fucking serious? I’m not letting you do this without me.” Pissed or not, she was still his to protect, something she didn’t seem to grasp. And now she was telling him he could bow out?
Fuck.

“Even though you’re angry at me right now?”

“Yeah, I’m angry, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to leave you unprotected. I hate this plan, but like hell you’re doing it without me.”

She sent him a tentative, sad smile, and he felt a little bit more of his anger dissolve. Given the chance, he knew she’d chip away at that anger, and he turned away from her, not ready to let it go.

“If this guy really is an informant, we don’t want to spook him,” said Antonio. “Outfitting her with an earpiece and stationing ourselves close by is the best option.”

“And if he’s not?” Sean crossed his arms again, feeling restless.

Antonio and Patrick exchanged glances, but it was Sierra who spoke. “It’s a risk we have to take.”

Chapter 28

S
ierra fiddled with the earpiece nestled snugly in her ear and was greeted by Antonio’s voice.