Needing Her (20 page)

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Authors: Molly McAdams

Tags: #Fiction, #Romance, #New Adult, #Coming of Age, #Contemporary, #Contemporary Women

BOOK: Needing Her
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“We told you,” he began as he stood in front of me, stopping me from getting closer to the girls.

“I said where the fuck is she?”

“Hold on here,” Mr. Price said, standing up from one of the couches. “What the hell is going on?”

“Connor,” Dylan said in warning as he shook his head.

“Maci!” I yelled toward the kitchen, and Dakota pushed me back with a hard shove.

“We told you to stay away!”

“The fuck?” Craig said as he came to stand behind Dakota.

“And I should have never listened to you! Maci!”

The women began pouring into the living room, and I looked wildly for her.

“She’s not here,” Amber said, her face breaking out in a smile when she saw me. “She left, but Sam followed her.”

“Left? Left for where?”

“It doesn’t fucking matter, because we told you to stay the hell away from her!” Dakota yelled, and started coming toward me, but Craig stopped him.

“Now everyone just shut the hell up!” Mr. Price yelled and walked into the triangle Dakota, Dylan, and I were making. “This has been the most dramatic Christmas vacation I think we’ve ever had. Now someone better explain to me what’s going on, and I mean right now.”

Dylan opened his mouth, but I spoke over him. “I’m in love with your daughter.”

“Oh, Jesus Christ, not again,” Craig groaned.

“He can’t—”

“No,” I cut Dylan off, and kept talking. “Whatever that asshole told you last night, don’t listen to him. Maci doesn’t want to be with him, I’ve seen the way he treats her, all he does is order her around and belittle her.”

“Like that’s much better than what you would do to her?” Dakota sneered.

“I won’t hurt Maci!” I yelled at him, and turned back to his dad. “I’ve been seeing your daughter all month. I know that’s not a long time, but I also know that there isn’t another girl for me out there.”

“Connor, I swear to God you better stop talking.”

“Dakota Price! Shut your mouth and let him talk!”

I looked over to Mrs. Price, and sent her a grateful smile.

“If you’re so in love with Maci, tell me why my little sister looks like she wants to die?” Craig asked before I could say anything else.

Mr. Price raised a graying eyebrow at me, and I shrugged lamely. “Because I listened to Dakota and Dylan when I shouldn’t have.”

“Wait.” Craig released Dakota and pointed at his brothers. “You both already knew about this and didn’t say anything?”

“He came to talk to us about their relationship the night before we came,” Dylan started, and his dad cut him off.

“What I’m not understanding is what I’m seeing right now. You three have been inseparable since you were kids, and now this?”

“They forced me to break up with Maci! Do you understand how much it killed me to do that, how much it killed me to have to lie to her so she would believe me, and then listen to her cry for the rest of the night? I feel like I’ve been suffocating ever since I left the goddamn bar after talking to you three!”

“Wait, three?”

“Sam was there,” I answered Craig.

“Why the fuck did everyone know except for me?”

“I hadn’t planned on Sam being there, I wanted to talk to Dakota and Dylan first.”

“Yeah,” Dylan started, “and we already told you our answer. You can’t date or marry Maci!”

“That’s not your fucking decision! You’re my best friend, but I never should have listened to you in the first place!”

“You know why we can’t let you be with her!” Dakota yelled back.

“Why can’t he be with her?” Mr. Price asked, the only calm male left in the room.

“Dakota, I swear to God I will die before I hurt your sister.”

“You don’t fucking know that!” He started toward me again, and Craig grabbed him to stop him.

“You told us—”

“I know what I said, Dylan. But I will do everything to make sure I never hurt her!”

“You already have.”

All of the men froze, and some of the women gasped from where they’d been whispering to each other. Forcing myself to turn to the left, it took all my willpower not to run up to her and grab her in my arms.

“Maci,” I breathed. And when I saw her face covered in tears, I automatically started toward her, stopping when she held up a hand.

“Sam told me they made you do it, and for the record, I will not forgive either of you for that,” she looked at her brothers, and wiped at her face when she turned back to me. “But, Connor, you told me there was always a choice. You made yours.”

“Maci, no, you don’t understand. You have to let me explain.”

Sam bent down to whisper something in her ear, but she shook her head at him and spoke loud enough for us to hear. “I already told you, he let them tell him what to do.” Looking back up at me, my heart broke when she choked out, “That told me all I need to know. Just go home, Connor.”

My mind flashed back to Cassidy for the first time in a month. Having her tell me to leave the way Maci just had . . . but at the time, I’d listened to her and had left. Maci was different, I couldn’t leave her . . . not again. “I can’t.”

She turned toward the door, before looking back at me, fresh tears falling down her cheeks. “Why?”

“Because you’re
mine
, Maci! You’re. Mine.”

“You said—”

“I know what I said . . . I was lying. I was scared of what your brothers knew about me, scared of what I could do to you . . . and so I did what I thought would be best for you. But I’m miserable, and I know you are too.” I had taken a few steps toward her, but was afraid of pushing her back, so I stopped halfway between her, Sam, and her family.

Maci shook her head, clearly confused. “What you could do to me . . . ? I don’t . . . what do they know?”

Turning to look at Dakota and Dylan, I shook my head when I realized and understood what I had to do. I threw my arms out at my sides helplessly when I looked back at Maci.

“I was abused as a child. That’s why I’m so protective of Amy. Because she was older, she took my half of the beatings until I was old enough to understand, and made sure that she took as little of them as possible. The guy wasn’t even my biological father, but it was my mom’s husband, and he was the one who raised us. He almost killed us one night, that’s how we met our adoptive parents. My dad was one of the detectives on scene, and he and my mom fought to adopt both Amy and me.”

The room had gone completely silent, and Maci stood there staring at me with wide, devastated eyes. Her mouth hanging open as she shook her head back and forth, like she was in denial.

“I’ve always felt like I had to protect Amy from men. After we were adopted, it took until she met her husband in college for her to trust anyone other than Dad and me. But the problem that your brothers have with us being together is I have my own demons to face from that time in my life. I’m . . . shit, Maci, I’m terrified of turning into him. I have nightmares of being him
to
my future family. I had no idea I’d even told your brothers about all this until they informed me when I approached them about us a couple days ago. Apparently I got wasted one night and told them. I told them that I’d ruin and destroy my future family.”

“Connor,” she whispered.

“That’s why they don’t want us together. That’s everything I’ve been keeping from you, and that’s why I left you. I thought I was protecting you.” Closing the distance between us, I got as close to her as I could without touching her. “Yes, I’m afraid to get angry, because I don’t know what I’ll do because of the nightmares I constantly have about turning into him. And I know I upset you, but I know that I would never
hurt
you, Maci.”

“I—I had no idea. I didn’t know. I’m so sorry.”

Cupping her face in my hands, it felt like I was taking my first real breath in two days. “You’re not the one that’s supposed to be sorry. I’m sorry for what I did to you, and I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner. But, Maci, I can’t lose you.” Pressing my forehead to hers, I whispered so only she could hear me. “You were so wrong the other night.
You
own
me
. Don’t you fucking get that?”

A sound that was half laugh, half sob, left her and she crushed her mouth to mine.

“I’m in love with you Maci,” I said against her lips. “God I’m so in love with you.”

“Connor.”

“What—fuck, Mace!” I wheezed and bent forward when she punched me in the stomach.

“That’s for listening to my brothers.”

I deserved that. But, shit, that hurt. As soon as I straightened up, Maci threw herself at me; wrapping her legs around my waist as I gripped her body to mine.

“And I love you too.” She smiled at me wryly before I captured her lips again.

A few seconds later, someone started clearing their throat. I froze from kissing her, and slowly lowered her back down to the ground before facing her family.

Maci’s dad looked around like he was lost. “Well, this has been an interesting vacation so far.”

“That’s all you have to say?” Dylan asked. “Did you not hear what he just admitted to?”

Mr. Price turned to look at his sons and a sound of disapproval left his chest. “I did, and I must say . . . I’m disappointed in you two for how you’ve treated him and your sister. Every man has fears that he won’t be able to be the perfect husband and father; Connor’s are a little different, and for good reason. The fact that you let his fears get in the way of a lifelong friendship and used it against him so he would leave Maci pisses me off about as much as it upsets me to see my little girl cry. Connor just manned up to something he shouldn’t have to be ashamed of, and stood up to you all because he’s in love with your sister. The two of you could take a lesson.”

Dakota and Dylan both stood there staring at the floor with matching expressions of guilt and indecision. Like they couldn’t figure out if they wanted to continue fighting their side.

“I think we all need to go to bed so we can sleep on this, and we’ll talk about it again tomorrow. No one is level headed enough to continue with this conversation . . . if we can even call it that.” Mr. Price turned and walked over to Maci and me, his hand outstretched for me to shake it. “I’m glad it’s you, Connor. Really, I am. But if I catch you sleeping with my daughter tonight, I’m likely to change my mind on that. Your room is still free, I’ll be sure to check on both you and Maci often tonight.”

Gripping his hand firmly, I cracked a smile but looked him directly in the eye. “Understood, sir.”

Pulling me in close to pound on my back, he held me there as he said, “You’re a good man, and you have nothing to be ashamed of. Wherever this takes you and my daughter, I’d be proud to have you in her life.”

I stood there in shock when he stepped back. After everything I’d just said, I wouldn’t expect that reaction from any dad, but especially Maci’s. He’d always been intimidating . . . which, considering my profession and the kinds of people I dealt with, is saying something.

Maci grabbed my hand, and I looked down to see her smiling up at me.

“Thank you,” she said softly, her gray eyes bright with left-over tears.

“For what?”

“Coming back for me.”

Cupping her face in my hands, I leaned close and spoke low, hoping she understood how much I meant every word. “I’m sorry I ever left; I swear it will never happen again.”

When she nodded, I pressed my mouth to hers, and savored every second of her lips against mine until her dad grumbled, “Checking your rooms tonight.”

Maci laughed, and leaned in to steal another kiss when I quickly pulled away from her. “I’ll see you in the morning.”

Smiling, I brushed back a few strands of her hair that had fallen forward. “Good night, Maci Price.”

With a wink, she turned and waited for Amber to join her before heading downstairs. Once everyone else began dispersing, I glanced over at Dakota and Dylan to see them watching me. Holding back a sigh, I headed downstairs as well and took the room I usually occupied.

Since I hadn’t taken the time to pack anything, I put everything on me on one of the nightstands, left my jeans on, and pulled my shirts off before climbing into bed. And for the first time since I’d made Maci cry, sleep came quickly.

J
OLTING UP IN
bed, I stopped reaching for my gun and blew out a deep breath when I saw Maci shutting and locking my door. The air rushed from my lungs at seeing her standing there, and I had to wonder if I was dreaming for a minute. A residual ache deep in my chest kept the reminder of what I’d done to her . . . but even through my sleep-fueled haze, I remembered driving up to Mammoth and fighting to get her back.

“Mace, what are you doing?” I asked when she started moving from the door toward my bed.

“I need to be with you . . . I need to know this isn’t all a dream.”

My lips quirked up on one side, knowing I’d just been thinking the same thing; and even as I grabbed her hand and pulled her down next to me, I shook my head. “Your dad is going to kill me if he finds you in here.”

She made a scoffing noise. “He hasn’t checked on us once tonight, and he’s snoring loud enough that I doubt he’ll be up anytime soon.”

“Maci . . .” I began in warning, but she moved so she was straddling me, and pressed her fingers against my lips.

“Please, Connor. I need to know I didn’t just imagine everything. I need . . . I need to hear you say it again.”

Kissing her fingers softly, I removed her hand from my face and gripped the back of her neck to pull her closer so I could look into her eyes. “Hear what? That you own me? That I love you? That I’m a fucking idiot for ever thinking I could live without you, even if it was what’s best for you?”

Even in the darkness, I could see the brightness in her eyes from the tears gathering there. When one slipped down her cheek, I used my free hand to wipe it away and searched her face for a long while.

“I’m sorry for ever making you cry,” I whispered, “and I’m sorry for taking so damn long to realize what you mean to me. I swear to you I’ll spend the next seventy years making up for all the time with you I’ve lost.”

“Seventy?” she asked, her voice thick with emotion even though she was smiling. “You think we’ll last that long?”

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