Needing You #2 - Wanting Him (16 page)

“Sure is.”

We make our way down to the room where her shrieking voice is coming from and listen from outside.

“B if you want to leave then there’s the fucking door,” Tuck says angrily.

“Ugh, I can’t believe you sometimes.  How dare you not give me a second chance.”

“Not this again.  I am not here to listen to your bullshit.”

“Tucker, when are you going to realize I’m the woman for you?” she pleads.

“B, why aren’t you with my father anymore?”

“Because I realized I missed you,” she coos.

“Nice try.  Try again.”

“Ugh, he got boring, he’s old.  I messed up alright.”

“So now that you hit on me and I turned you down, are you going to run to Trent next?”

“Fuck you.  He’s an asshole.”

“You two would be a perfect couple.”

“No Tucker, we would.  We were a great couple, why can’t you see that?”

“You know why.  Now drop it,” he argues.

“Ugh fine.  But one day you will be mine again.”

Just then the doctor comes in, “Hey Tucker.  Are you ready for your tests today?”

“Not really, but whatever.”

“They won’t be that bad, just a few scans.”

“Will I know any results today?”

“Some, not all.  I’ll be able to tell if the experimental drug you’re on is working or not.”

“How?”

“By the size of the tumor.  If it’s growing then it shows the drugs aren’t working and we’ll have to plan for surgery.”

“But if it is shrinking then possibly no surgery?” he states, sounding hopeful.

“Possibly.  How have you been feeling on the medications?”

“Alright,” he says.

“Don’t lie,” another girls voice says, “He’s been sicker than hell and feels like shit.  Not to mention he’s losing weight and he
’s passed out a few times.”

“Tess be quiet,” he warns.

“Is that true?” the doctor asks, sounding worried.

“Yeah, but if the meds are working
, it’s worth it.”

“Well
, we will find out soon enough,” the doctor says.

I can’t help but feel helpless right now.  I can see Rowan feels the same way by her facial expression.  Tucker has a tumor.  Though I’m not sure what kind
, it still brings back memories, sad, horrible, awful memories.

“Let’s go ahead and get you down for some scans and see what’s going on with that tumor,” the doctor says, causing Rowan and I to rush down the hall around the corner so Tucker doesn’t see us.

“A tumor.  How the fuck do we tell Harper he has a fucking tumor?” Rowan practically yells.

“We don’t,” I say
, as I take a seat.

“We have to tell her something.”

“No, that needs to come from Tucker.  We can’t be the ones to tell her this, plus we don’t know how serious or what kind of tumor it is.”

“What do you want to do?”

“I don’t know.”

“Should we wait for him to come out of testing?”

“Yes,” is my only reply.

“Alright, well then I’m
gonna run down to the cafeteria.  Do you want anything?”

“A water please.”

“Okay, I’ll be right back,” she says as she heads off towards the cafeteria.  Where ever that may be.

I sit in the chair thinking back to how this time with Tuck is going to be different.  He’s not my mom.

I can’t help seeing the doctors, the nurses, everyone running down to where she was in surgery.  Bringing machines and syringes with liquid to help stop or start whatever was needed.  Me watching from the hall confused and lost, not understanding what was happening.  It was a simple surgery they told me.  Me…the 18 year old daughter who stood waiting patiently for the news on what happened in that surgery room.

I needed the reassurance that she was okay, that there was a small problem
, but they fixed it and that mom was alright.  Unfortunately that moment never came.

“Are you alright?” I hear as Rowan touches my shoulder.

I jump, “Sorry, spaced out I guess,” I lie.

“No, you’re as pale as a ghost, what happened?” she asks nervously.

“Nothing.”

“Now I call bullshit.  Where did you just go?”

“I was just thinking about how much I hate hospitals.”

“Bull shit again.”

“What? Why?”

“Nat you’re going to school to become a nurse
, so you can’t hate hospitals that much.  Plus that wouldn’t have made you go pale like that.  What happened?” she asks sounding really concerned.

I can feel my shoulders slump, “I was thinking about my mom,” I admit.

“What about her?”

“Just hearing about Tuck having a tumor just brought back a lot of memories for me.”

“Not good ones, obviously.  What happened?”

“My mom had a brain
aneurysm.”

“Oh shit, I’m so sorry I didn’t know.  You don’t have to tell me,” she says quickly.

“It’s alright.  We went to the hospital for her to have surgery to have it removed.  It was supposed to be a simple surgery.”

“But it wasn’t,
” she asks sadly.

“No it wasn’t.  When they were opening her up, I guess there was a
brain bleed, they weren’t able to get it to stop in time,” I say as I feel my eyes well up with tears.

“Oh God, I’m so sorry,” Rowan says as she sits beside me wrapping her arm around my shoulders.

“It’s alright, I’m getting better with it. Time does that I guess.”

“How old were you?”

“18.”

“So that’s why you take care of Nora.  You took full custody of her when your mom passed away,” she says as a statement not a question, “Why didn’t you tell me when we came here the first time?”

“It’s a different hospital.  Plus it’s not something I like to tell everyone.”

“I get that
, I do, but Nat, do you seriously think you’ll be able to work in a hospital setting?”

“Yeah.  It was just hearing that he has a tumor that sparked more memories.  I’ll be alright.”

“If you’re not, let me know.”

“I will. Thanks.”

We continue to sit for another hour and a half before hearing Tuck and the two girls heading back into his room.

Rowan and I sneak back down the hall to listen to what the doctor says about his next steps.

“Tell it to me straight doc,” Tuck says nervously.

“The good news is that the experimental medications you’re taking are working on the tumor.”

“That’s great, so why does it look like you have bad news?” Tuck asks, sounding scared.

“The bad news is that it looks like the medication is causing another tumor to develop.”

“WHAT?” I hear Tucker and the two girls yell in unison.

“It was a potential issue
, but it hasn’t been happening, so we were optimistic that no more tumors would develop.  But since they have, Tucker we need to schedule surgery to remove both tumors as soon as possible.”

“Why so soon?”

“The new tumor seems to be growing quickly.  If we let it go too long, it will affect your brain activity and possibly your sight as well.”

“So you can get both tumors out of his head in the same surgery?” a girl I assume is Tessa asks.

“Yes, that’s the plan,” the doctor says.

Shit Tucker has two tumors…in his brain.  This cannot be happening.

“Harper needs to know,” Rowan whispers.

“I know and I’ll make sure he tells her.”

We leave the hospital before Tucker has a chance to see us and discuss ways for him to tell Harper.  Hopefully, when he comes home he tells her, though I feel he won’t.  He may need a little push, but he will be telling her before his surgery.

I’ll give him until before he has his surgery to tell her what’s going on.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It’s
Friday night and there’s a band at PowerTrips.  I’m working along with Harp.

By the time I get into the bar
, the place is starting to get busy.  Marcus is behind the bar serving a few patrons.  I punch in and get behind the bar and start to restock the beers that are low. 

After thirty minutes later
, Harp comes in looking beyond pissed.

“You okay?”

“No, fucking Tucker,” is all she says.

“What did he do now?” I ask on a laugh.

The evil glare I get tells me I shouldn’t have laughed.  “He’s still being secretive and he won’t go to the doctors to get over this cold or flu or whatever.  No matter how many times I ask him to talk to me, he gets all nervous and weird, and then leaves,” she says frustrated.

“
He’s still sick?  Maybe it’s nothing,” I say lying, knowing damn well it’s something major.

“Oh it’s definitely not nothing.  He’s hiding something
, I just hope it’s not dangerous or anything.”

“
Did you try asking Parker.  They seem to share secret information,” I tell her thinking back to last weekend how Tuck and Parker looked serious and angry at the same time.

“I should.  He’s been talking to Parker
pretty often lately,” she says angrily.  “I mean don’t get me wrong, I’m excited they’re talking more, but I just wish I knew what was going on.”

“So ask him.”

“I’ll send him a text then and see what I can find out.  I have a feeling he’s not going to tell me anything though,” she says looking defeated.

“It will come out sooner or later.  He might as well just tell you.”

“That’s what I said, and then he just gave me this look, like oh shit I hope not,” she says with a nervous look.

“I’m sure he’ll tell you soon.”

“It’s been months Nat.  If he hasn’t told me by now, I don’t think he will.”

“Just keep b
ugging him until he does,” I say.

“Tried, then we get into an argument and he leaves.”

“He will tell you soon.”

“I hope,” she mumbles before heading in the direction of a waiting customer.  I head to my end of the bar to serve the people who are approaching the bar.

The next few hours we are pretty busy.  Customers are everywhere
.  The band started late for some reason, but they seem to be an alright band.  Nothing to write home about, though.

Around 1:00 a.m. Harp says, “I texted Parker, he told me that Tuck’s just going through something and to not worry.”

“Well that’s something,” I figured Parker knew.

“Yeah, I texted back asking if he knew, he said he did but it’s not his place to tell.  He told me I have nothing to worry about.  What the hell does that mean?” she asks looking confused.

“It means Tuck loves you; he wouldn’t purposely do anything to hurt you.”

“Yeah, just like Parker would
n’t do anything purposely to hurt you either,” she deadpans.

“That’s different and you know it.”

“No, what I know is that you two love each other, but some stupid bitch comes in from God knows where claiming she’s slept with your man and is now having his baby.”

“That’s the reality of it though Harp, he did sleep with her.”

“I still don’t believe it.  I see the way he looks at you.  He would never sleep with someone else,” she states.

“But he did and now he’s going to have a family.”

“Ugh, I hate men sometimes.”

“Me too Harp, me too.”

Chapter Sixteen

Wednesday rolls around and Harp hasn’t said anything, which can only mean that Tucker has yet to tell her.

I see him on campus and decide to talk to him before Harp gets out of class.

“Tuck, can I talk to you for a minute?” I ask him as I approach him and the guy he’s talking to.

“Sure,” he says bye to the guy and walks in my direction, “What’s up?”

“Have you told Harper what’s wrong with you yet?” I ask, deciding I’m not going to play around the bush.

“What?  Nothing’s wrong,” he says lying to me.

I stare at him, not believing he just lied, but yet still understanding why he did.

“Tuck I know,” I tell him with a sympathetic look.

“Know what?” he says still playing dumb.

“About the tumors,” I whisper.

“Fuck,” he yells, “Parker fucking told you, I’m
gonna kill him.”

“No
, he didn’t tell me anything,” I admit.

“Then how the fuck do you know?  Shit, did you tell Harp?” he asks
, looking worried.

“No I didn’t tell Harp, she needs to hear that from you.”

“How the fuck do you know?”

“I umm…sort of followed you to the hospital one day.”

“You fucking stalked me?”

“No, but well yes, I mean no.  Harp wanted to know if you were cheating on her.  I told you that being secretive was making her nuts.”

“Shit, but you didn’t tell her?”

“No, I’ve been waiting for you to tell her over a week now, but you still haven’t.”

“Damn it.  I want to be so pissed at you for knowing, but thank you for not telling.”

“You need to tell her.  She deserves to know.”

“I know. I just don’t know how.”

“When’s your surgery?”

“Coming up, right before spring break, so I have the extra time off to heal.”

“Tuck…spring break starts next week,” I say confused.

“Yeah, surgery’s on Friday,” he admits nervously.

“That’s two days away.  You need to tell her now,” I scold.

“I can’t.”

“Yes
, you can, and you will.  Do you plan on having this surgery and never telling her?” I ask frustrated.

“Yes, that’s exactly what I was
thinking,” he yells back.

“How?”

“I’m staying with my sister for the week.  She’s taking me in for the surgery then taking me home once I’m released.  I’m gonna stay with her during the week of spring break.”

“Oh my God, I can’t fucking believe you,” I tell him as I push on his chest hard.

“This isn’t your business.”

“She’s my best friend, she deserves to know,” I yell.

“I’ll be fine.”

“Yeah, that’s exactly what my mom said too,” I tell him
bitterly.

“What?”
he says shocked.

“Tuck my mom went into surgery for a brain aneurysm and she never came back out.  You can’t not tell her.  If something goes wrong
, she needs to know, she needs to be there.  That needs to be her choice not yours,” I tell him as I feel the first tear fall.

“Fuck,” he says as he pulls on his hair.

“You have until tomorrow to tell her or I will,” I say before walking away.

I hear him curse a few more times as I continue to walk to my car.

Thursday comes and Harp and I both work at PowerTrips.  I can at least, find out if he told her or not.  He better have.

I make my way in around 7:50 p.m. and see Harp already behind the bar serving drinks.  I clock in
, put my purse away and start serving drinks.

“Hey,” I finally get a chance to say.

“Hi,” she says looking angry.

“Everything okay?”

“It will be once I punch my boyfriend in the face.”

“What? Why?” I ask almost laughing.

“I told him he has exactly two days to tell me what the hell is going on, if not he can find a new girlfriend,” she says sternly.

“What did he say?”

“Just stared at me like a dumb fuck.”

“Did he say anything?”

“No, just walked out the door.”

“Oh.”

“I think we’re over,” she says solemnly.

“I wouldn’t go that far.  Just wait, he’ll come around.  He loves you.”

“It’s hard to tell anymore.”

“You know he’s here right?”

“What? Where?” she asks confused and slightly irritated.

“Over in the corner,” I say pointing him out at a booth.

He glances our way when we’re looking at him and a small smile appears on his face.

“I love him
, but I want to punch him.”

“I got that,” I say laughing, “He’ll tell you.”

“I hope so.”

We start serving more patrons while people head towards the stage for karaoke night.  It’s a decent crowd, not overly full, which is nice.

The evening is going by smoothly and it’s getting closer to midnight.  I can’t wait for tonight to be over.  I took off tomorrow and made sure Harper was off this weekend, even though she doesn’t realize why.

I’m not sure what time it is when people start yelling for help.  I rush over with Harp on my heels to see that Tucker is lying on the floor not moving.  Eddie calls 9-1-1 as we try to wake him up.

“What happened?” Harp screams, worry written all over her face.  He’s on her knees beside his head trying to get him to wake up.

“Shit.”  I grab a wet cloth and try to use it to see if he comes too but it doesn’t work.

Thankfully, it doesn’t take the ambulance long to get here.  The paramedics keep asking questions and no one’s answering, because no one knows what’s going on.

“I need to go with him,” Harp says sounding scared.

“Okay,” I tell her.

As the paramedics load him into the back I
state, “He has two brain tumors and is scheduled for surgery tomorrow.”

“What?” Harp yells from beside me.

I ignore her and answer the few questions the paramedics ask before turning to her.

“I’m sorry, he promised he was going to tell you.  I had to let him tell you.”

“How long have you known?”

“Only a few days.”

“How could you not tell me?” she screams as tears roll down her cheeks.

“It wasn’t my place to tell you.  It needed to come from him.  You need to go with them,” I tell her as I push her towards the waiting ambulance doors.

She quickly climbs in and they leave quickly, heading toward the hospital.

I head back inside and Eddie informs me that I need to go to the hospital and be there for Harper.  I agree and grab my things to leave.

It only takes a few minutes to drive to the closest hospital, which unfortunately is not the one Tucker’s been going to.  It also happens to be the one I lost my mom at.

Once inside I ask the receptionist for help and she informs me he’s on the third floor.  As I make my way up the stairs
, I can’t help but feel guilty for not telling Harp sooner.  She deserved to know before something happened.

On the third floor I see Harper pacing.

“Hey.”

She turns toward me, “I want to be so mad at you right now for not telling me but I can’t.  I need your
support,” she says as tears fall.

I wrap her in a hug, “It’s going to be okay, he’s
gonna be alright.”

“So you and Rowan, you found out when you followed him?” she asks
through sobs.

“Yeah, he went to his sister
’s house first and then drove to the hospital.  We followed inside and were able to hear what was going on from outside his room.  He never saw us.  I did tell him that if he wouldn’t tell you before his surgery that I was going to.  He promised he would tell you.”

“I don’t understand
, what happened today then.”

“I have no idea.  From what I heard the doctor saying
, the medication he was on to try to shrink the tumor made him sick and he’s passed out a few times.”

“Why would he continue to take the medication then?” she asks confused.

“If it made him sick, but took care of the tumor, then it was worth it.  But instead, it caused another tumor to grow.”

“Oh my God
, this cannot be happening.”

“The doctors know what they’re doing, he’ll be okay,” I say trying to calm her down.

“You…of everyone you know that’s not always the case.  Don’t stand there and tell me it will be fine, we don’t know that,” she yells as more tears fall freely.

“You’re right we don’t.  We have to trust that they do everything they can to help him and remove those tumors.”
  I can’t help it, but this place haunts me.  How I stood in the hall outside the waiting room, watching as they rush in and out of her surgery with blood, needles, bags, trying to save her.

I have no idea how long we sit there, in the waiting room.  A doctor comes out to tell us that he’s in surgery and
its going fine.  That does very little to ease the worries though.

Rowan shows up a few minutes later. I sent her a text letting her know what happened.  Harp called Tessa, Tuck’s sister to let her know where he was.

We continue to wait for news in the waiting room.  Some of Tuck’s frat brothers stop by, along with his sister and Bianca.  Not sure how that’s going to play out yet.  She came with Tessa and for the life of me I can’t understand how those two are here together or at Tessa’s house.

After about three hours Declan, Luke, Nate, and Parker walk through the door.  I can see Rowan tense up, probably because Declan’s here.  The guys make their way over to us to ask Harp if she’s heard anything, we haven’t.

I can feel his eyes on me and as hard as I try not to look in his direction I can’t help it, he has this pull on me, my body, I just can’t stop it.  I look at him and his eyes show worry and sadness.  I give a weak smile then turn to talk to Harp again.

“Why aren’t Tuck’s parents coming?” I ask
, surprised they aren’t here yet.

“Tuck doesn’t get along with them anymore.”

“I get that but he’s still there son, they should be here.”

“Won’t happen.  Doesn’t help that she’s here either,” she says
, nodding in the direction of Bianca.

“Yeah…I’m missing something on that,” I admit confused.

“That’s his ex.”

“Yeah the one that slept with his brother Trent and also his
dad.  She’s the one that ended his parent’s marriage right?”

“Yep.”

“That’s gross,” coming from Rowan.

“Sure is.  I want to know why she’s here though,” she says bitterly.

“I think it was something about donating blood or something.  She has the same blood type or something and they wanted to keep blood supply on hand in case he needed it.  She’s been donating blood for him for a while now,” I tell her, recalling what I heard her arguing with Tuck about before.

“Why her?  Of all the people in the world…why her?”

“It wasn’t a choice.  I know Tuck, if it was, he would never have picked her.  You know that.”

“Why not Tessa?  They have the same blood type.”

“She’s overcoming a drug problem; her blood could have caused more damage than good.”

“I hate her.”

“I know.”

“I need some caffeine.  I’m
gonna run down to the cafeteria. Do you want anything?” Harp asks.

“I’m good. Thanks though.”

“I’ll come along,” Rowan says as she stands.

I watch them leave, still not believing what the hell happened tonight.

“Hey, how you doing?” Parker asks as he takes the chair next to mine.

“I’m alright.”

“You don’t really look alright.”

“I’m mad, sad, angry, and I hate this,” I admit sadly.

“He’s going to be okay.”

“I hope so.”

“Do you think about your mom and being back in this hospital?” he says cautiously.

“Yeah, it’s kind of hard not to.  I know what Tuck’s going through is serious.  I also can’t help but worry,
I know an aneurysm is different than a tumor, but in both of their brains, really?  I know how deadly they can be.  Harper can’t go through what I did, she just can’t,” I say as tears fill my eyes.

“
I know.  Let’s just hope the doctor can get both tumors out without any problems.  Tuck’s a strong guy; he won’t give up that easy,” he says softly.

“Why didn’t you tell him to tell Harp?”

“I did.”

“You should have pushed him harder.  She shouldn’t
have had to find out this way,” I say as I feel the first tear fall.