Needing You #2 - Wanting Him (15 page)

“Park…this weekend has been amazing.  You’re amazing, you know I love you, I always will, but we knew this weekend was our last,” I start to tell him.

“No, no stop right there.  It doesn’t have to be for good.  I told you, I’m going to figure this shit out. We will make this work.  Just don’t give up on us, not yet,” he says with pleading eyes.

“
You’re having a baby, you need to try and make it work with Claudia.  You need to try and be a family for your baby’s sake,” I tell him truthfully.

“No, I’m not giving you up.  I can be a dad and have you in my life,” he says
, as he stands and starts to pace.

“I can be in your life Parker, it just won’t be as your girlfriend.  We can still be friends,” I try to tell him.

“I don’t want to be your fucking friend.  Are you kidding me right now?” he stops pacing and yells.

“Look, I’m trying to be calm here.  Is it what we want no, but Parker it doesn’t change the way things are or the way things are going to be moving forward.”

“So you don’t want to be with me, that’s what you’re saying?” he asks with hurt look.

“I’m saying I can’t be with you.”

“Why not?” he asks harshly.

“Parker you cheated on me and now you’
re having a baby because of it.”

“Shit.  I swear I don’t even remember it.  I would never willingly cheat on you,” he defends.

“I hear you, but it doesn’t change the fact that you did.”

“Fuck.  So that’s it.  We’re done.  You want me to try to have a relationship with a girl I don’t even fucking like. Yet
, I love you and you only want to be my fucking friend.  Do I got that fucking right?” he says angrily.

“It’s not that simple and you know it.”

“It sounds pretty fucking simple to me Nat.”

“No,
pretty fucking simple would be you never cheating on me, us never breaking up, us spending our time together and working towards our future.  That would be what would have been simple before YOU fucked it up.  You changed us.  You ripped us apart,” I scream back. I feel the tears start to run down my cheeks and I don’t even waste the time to wipe them away.

“Shit. I know it’s my fault and I’m sorry.  I just…I just thought that maybe we could work through it and be alright,” he says
frustrated as he runs his hands through his hair.

“Work through it?  Parker you slept with someone else while you were with me.  You broke us.  As much as I would love for things to go back to the way they used to be, they can’t. Not now, not ever.”

“I don’t want to lose you,” he says with a serious look.

“I told you, we can still talk every once in a while and maybe even be friends down the line.  I don’t know.  I just know we aren’t
“the us”
we used to be, we can’t be; too much has happened.”

“Fine.  I’ll take anything I can get with you; even if that means I have to be your damn friend,” he says as he comes and wraps me in his arms in a tight hug.

The tears continue to fall from my eyes, soaking his shirt, but he doesn’t say anything.

After a few minutes he pulls back from me.  His eyes are slightly red, looking like he shed some tears too, though he never made a sound.

“Can I just hold you tonight?” he asks hopeful.

“Yeah, I’d like that,” I tell him with a smile.

I change into my tank top and shorts while he strips down to his boxer briefs and crawls into my bed.

He’s lying on his back so I crawl in and prop my head on his shoulder and snuggle into his side. His arm comes around my back and he pulls me even closer to him.  I wrap my arms around him and my leg overtop his, trying to get as close as I can. 

I know this is the last time I’ll get to sleep in his arms like this.

That’s
how we fall asleep; me snuggled tightly to Parker’s body with our arms wrapped around one another.

Chapter
Fifteen

Morning comes way too early and before I know it
, we are up and getting ready to head home.  Thankfully, it’s only a twenty minute drive.

“Come back to bed,” Parker moans.

“You need to wake up, your bus leaves in thirty minutes,” I remind him.

“
They can leave without me, now come back to bed,” he says with one eye open.

“Tucker wants to leave early too, he has some things he needs to take care of today,” I tell him as I sit on the edge of the bed.

“Yeah I know, he told me.  Just five more minutes,” he says as he pulls me over so I’m lying beside him.

I can’t help the giggle that comes out.

“Thank you for this weekend,” he says with glazed eyes.

“No problem,” I mumble. 
This weekend was great, but I also know reality is going to set it in and suck ass, soon, real soon.

“So…I was thinking, since this is our last time together like this, I think we should make out until it’s time to go,” he says with a
n innocent look.

“Oh what the hell,” I say with a laugh.

It takes Parker two seconds before his lips mold to mine.  I can’t help but fall more for this man even though this is our goodbye.

We
end up making out until Harper, Tuck, and Rowan are pounding on my door yelling for us to let them in. I let them in, finish getting my things in order and we head out the door.

We all say our farewells.  To say it
was upsetting would be an understatement.  Parker hugs me tightly, clearly not wanting to let go before we leave.

“I love you,” he says as he leans his forehead against mine, staring me in the eyes.

“I love you too.  I wish you the best on the rest of your tour,” I tell him with a small smile.

We give each other one last small kiss before I get into Tuck’s car to head home.

I can’t help but look back as we pull away to watch Parker watching us drive away before he finally walks to the tour bus.

The drive home is fast, which is nice.  I don’t want to cry in front of anyone.  By the time we get to Tuck’s house
, it’s only twenty-five minutes later.  I grab my things and throw them in my car before saying goodbye to them and heading home.

It’s still early so I’m not surprised that Nora’s still sleeping when I walk in the door.  I take my things to my bedroom and lie on the bed allowing myself to cry the tears I’ve been holding in since I said goodbye to Parker.

I know I’m doing the right thing.  I’m allowing him the opportunity to raise his soon to be family together.  They should have a chance to make it work, for the baby’s sake.

I spend the rest of the weekend telling Nora about the concert and I also broke down and told her about Parker.  I could see by the look in her eyes that she misses him too and wishes things could have ended differently, though she doesn’t say it.

Monday is back to school and work like normal.  Fun times I tell ya.

I get a text message from an unknown number and all the message says is “Be ready at 5
:00 p.m.”

What the hell?  I send a message back, “Who is this?”

It takes moments before I get a response, “Rowan.  Tuck’s been putting off his doctor’s appointment and it’s today.  We’re leaving at 5:00 p.m.”

“Okay,” I text back.

Interesting, I wondered what was going on, because it’s been almost three months since he last went to the hospital. 

We’ve followed him a few times and it was always to the same house, his sister Tessa’s place.  Majority of the time though he didn’t leave.

I go to the rest of my classes and head home to get changed before having to meet up with Rowan at 5:00 p.m.

When Nora gets home I let her know I’m going out for the evening, that if she needs me to call me.

Rowan shows up at my house at exactly 5:00 p.m. ready to go.

“How did you find out his appointment was today?” I ask confused.

“He was on the phone with someone this morning after Harp left for class.”

“Did he know you were there?”

“Yeah, but I think he thought I was still sleeping.  Either way, I heard him say his appointment is at 6:30 p.m., but he needs to be there early to get some blood work and get settled in a room before they run some tests.”

“I hope it’s nothing too serious.”

“Me too, especially for Harper’s sake.”

“So how was your weekend?” I ask
, making conversation.

“Good,” she says quickly.

“Did you talk to Declan?”

“What? No, why?” she stutters.

“You never told me about how you knew him.”

“I don’t.”

“I call bullshit.  You definitely know him somehow.  It was obvious the first time Harp introduced you guys.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Nice try, spill it bitch.”

I watch her shoulders fall, “I can’t,” she says sadly.

“Why not?” I ask confused.

“People just don’t understand.”

“Understand what?”

“Nothing, can you please just let it go?”

“No.”

“Please.”

“Oh my God.”

“What?” she shrieks.

“You slept with him,” I say loudly, like I figured out the last piece to the puzzle.

“No I didn’t,” she fires back.

“Bullshit, you should see how red you are.  Busted!  But I don’t understand why you both acted like that,” I say not understanding either one of them.

“Please Nat, let it go.”

“No way, fill me in.”

“Ugh fine, but you can’t tell anyone, not even Harp,” she says turning and giving me a serious look.

“Okay.”

“I met him at my job.”

“Okay, so?”

“I work at Level
Five,” she says nervously.

“The Club?”

“Yeah.”

“Which level do you work on?”

The look I get proves to Rowan I know exactly what type of club Level Five is.

“I work on Level Five.”

“Which means you also work or are a part of the underground level,” I say as a statement, not a question.

“H-How do you know about that?” she asks nervously.

“I’ve lived here all my life.  I know a lot more than you think.”

“Oh.”

“So did you meet Declan on Level Five or in the Underground?”

“The Underground,” she says never taking her eyes off the road.

“You kinky bitch,” I laugh, causing her to look at me and start to laugh.

“Please don’t tell people.”

“I won’t.  I’m surprised Tuck didn’t figure it out.  He knows all about that place too, all the guys do.”

“Declan wasn’t there with anyone.”

“So how did that happen anyway?”

“I don’t know.”

“The fuck you don’t.  Spill it,” I say, excited to hear this juicy information.

“Fine, since you know what the Underground is.”

“Oh yes, the Underground also known as BDSM club for kinky fucks,” I say laughing.

“Shut up, it is not,” she defends.

“I know.  Don’t worry, I thought about going in there a few times,” I admit.

“Why didn’t you?”

“Nervous I guess.”

“You should.”

“Oh yeah just what I need,” I say laughing.

“It would make you forget about Parker for a while.”

“Yeah, or it could make me wish the guy fucking me with chains and whips was Parker.”

“You guys did that?” she asks surprised.

“No, but I wouldn’t be against trying shit out.”

“You should definitely come with me sometime.  You don’t have to partake in anything.”

“So I could what, go and watch?” I ask confused.

“Well it’s only open to members
, but I could take you as a guest.  That’s the only way you can get into the Underground.”

“So you’re a member? Not just an employee?”

“I don’t work in the Underground, not usually anyway.”

“Why not?”

“Because I’m a member,” she says like I should already know.

“Oh,” is all I say.

“Member’s aren’t allowed to be staff.  I worked an event right after I first joined and it was only because they were really short staffed.  It was only one time.”

“So there are people there who work the Underground
, but don’t want to become members?”

“It’s all hush
hush so they have to go through extensive training and sign non-disclosures and shit.”

“But you just told me.”

“You already knew about it.”

“True.”

“So you gonna come in sometime?”

“Tell me how you met Declan there.”

“Ugh, you aren’t gonna let this go are you?”

“Not a chance,” I say with a smile.

“Fine, but if you repeat this I will kill you,” she deadpans.

“No worries.”

“I went to the club one night and he was there.  I never saw him before and he looked interesting.”

“Interesting?” I ask with a laugh.

The look I get from Rowan is deadly. “Yes interesting.  He’s hot, yet mysterious.  I don’t know I can’t explain it.”

“Okay,” I say holding in my laugh.

“Anyway, we started talking and right off the bat I told him not to tell me his name.  It would only be a one-time thing, so there was no need for us to know each other’s names.”

“So you had crazy kinky sex with Declan and you didn’t want to know his name?”

“That man is really fucking kinky.”

“Oh yeah?” I ask surprised.

“Oh yes and holy shit did he fuck me out of my mind.”

“Wow, so what
, he likes toys and shit?”

“Toys, plugs, whips, chains, you name it
, that man will use it and take it,” she says looking serious.

“Take it…
Never mind, I don’t want to know.  I won’t be able to look at him the same way ever again,” I say as I start to laugh.

“He’s hot though.”

“So why didn’t you want to know his name?” I ask confused.

“He’s hot.  I figured he was one of those guys that are complete asshole
s, so I figured let me get what I want for a night and not have to worry about who he is or hear about his reputation later.”

“
Got it.  That makes sense. Plus you are right, he is pretty fucking hot.”

Declan is tall
like Parker around 6’3,” dark brown hair, dark brown eyes to match.  He also has that look that he always appears tan, the lucky asshole.  He also has a great body with a few tattoos that are noticeable on his arms.

“Did you talk to him last weekend?” I ask curiously.

“No.”

“Why not?”

“What am I to say?  Oh hey, thanks for the incredible fuck.  Want to do it again?” she says with a serious look.

“Well shit why not? I ask laughing.

“Not funny.”

“Sure it is,” I say continuing to laugh.

“No it’s not.”

Unfortunately, our conversation ends because Rowan parks at the hospital and we head inside to find out what Tucker’s hiding.

“Well he’s here already because his car is parked right there,” I point out as we make our way inside.

“That’s good.  Now we can’t let him see us first. Crap.  I was hoping we would beat him here.”

“Oh well.  Let’s go find out what he’s hiding.”

We head to the elevators and go up to the seventh floor
, hoping that’s where Tuck is.

“Do we really think we’re going to find him in this freaking hospital?  Hospitals are huge,” Rowan complains.

“We’ll find him,” I say as the elevator takes us up to the seventh floor.  We get out and look around, but I don’t see him anywhere.

“Crap,” I mumble.

“Oh you’re back,” the nurse we ran into a few months ago says.

“Huh?” I say confused.

“Your friends are already back the hall in his room.  You can head on back,” she says.

“Thanks,” I say as I pull Rowan down the hall.

“How the fuck does she remember us from one time?”

“No idea, but I’m thankful as shit she did,” I say with a smile. 

We head down the hall and decide to go slower so we don’t actually run into Tucker, not yet anyway.  We need to find out what he’s hiding first.

“Do you hear that?” Rowan asks as we hear a girl bitching about something.

“That sounds like Bianca I think,” I say trying to recall her voice.