Needles and Pearls (35 page)

There’s an awkward silence.

‘Come on then, angel, I’m bloody starving, I’ve come straight from the airport. In the world’s smallest car. A twango something. Totally hideous.’

‘Oh, right.’

‘Is there anywhere local, so we can walk?’

‘There’s the pub, but they get very busy.’

‘Sounds great.’

We drive to the pub in the end because it’s starting to rain. The world’s smallest car turns out to be perfectly normal-sized, even if it is a rather horrible turquoise colour.

‘I’m sorry about this; it was the last one they had at the car-rental place.’

‘It’s fine.’

‘I’m on my way to New York for a job. But I thought I should call in, see how you’re doing.’

‘Right.’

There’s a silence. God, I don’t know what to say to him. Apart from please go away, I can’t do this now. There’s too much going on, I can’t cope with anything else.

‘Should I have called?’

‘Sorry?’

‘Before I turned up?’

‘No, it’s fine.’

‘Good. Look, I’m sorry angel. I know I should have called you but I’ve been putting it off. Although you could have called me, actually. Why didn’t you?’

‘I didn’t want another letter from the lawyer’s.’

‘Right. Sorry about that – I panicked.’

‘I know the feeling.’

‘You look great.’

‘Thanks.’

‘I didn’t realise you’d be so … so …’

‘Huge?’

He laughs.

‘Pregnant. So pregnant.’

‘The baby’s big.’

‘Right. Well, that’s good, yes?’ He’s smiling.

‘Yes. Putting on weight and doing all the things they’re meant to do.’

‘Great. So do I park in here?’

‘Yes, or there are more spaces round the side.’

Connie finds us a table at the back by moving a reserved card. She hands Daniel a menu.

‘I’ll just be a minute.’

‘Thanks, Connie.’

‘No problem.’

‘Excuse me a minute, Daniel – I won’t be long.’ I walk towards the ladies and Connie joins me in about thirty seconds flat.

‘Is he?’

‘Yes. Daniel.’

‘Porca Madonna.’

‘With knobs on. He just turned up, at the shop.’

‘OK, but this is good, yes?’

‘I don’t know. I don’t know what he wants yet.’

‘Yes, it’s good; he wants to talk about the baby.’

‘I think so.’

‘Of course he does. Why else would he be here?’

‘I don’t know.’

‘If he upsets you Mark will hit him. I will tell him.’

‘Great.’

She kisses me.

‘It will be OK, but remember, you give me the winking and I will get Mark.’

‘Great.’

Christ, so now I’ve got to remember not to wink, on top of everything else.

*   *   *

‘I think I’ll go for the steak and kidney pie; the food’s good here, right?’

‘Brilliant.’

‘Great. Look, I’m sorry about just turning up like this. I know I should probably have a plan, but I’m not that hot on planning. I just didn’t want you to think I’m not bothered. I have been thinking about it.’

‘OK.’

Connie comes over to take our orders, and makes me have lamb stew when I try to order a salad.

‘She’s a friend of yours, I take it?’

‘Yes.’

‘She seems nice.’

‘She is. Her husband does all the cooking.’

‘Is he Italian too?’

‘No, but they met over there.’

God, this is strange, sitting chit-chatting with him, like we’re just old friends meeting up for Sunday lunch.

‘So are you OK for money?’

‘Fine, thanks.’

‘Sure?’

‘Yes. Definitely.’

‘We’ll have to sort something out about that. It’s just, well, I wasn’t up for anything like this. Babies haven’t really been part of my plans. I’m just not ready. I think that’s the problem. And I’m so fucking busy with work you wouldn’t believe it.’

‘I know the feeling.’

‘Sorry, angel. I do realise this is tough for you.’

‘This isn’t really about me or you, Daniel, is it?’

‘No, I suppose not. Only it’s difficult for me right now, angel.’

‘How are things with Liv?’

‘Fine. Great, actually. But –’

‘You still haven’t told her?’

‘No. It’s never seemed the right time. Her first husband had kids, and it was complicated.’

‘I didn’t realise she’d been married.’

‘Twice.’

‘Oh, right.’

There’s another silence.

‘But I don’t want you thinking I’m some callous bastard. I want to do the right thing here.’

‘Only you’re not sure what that is?’

‘Exactly.’

The food arrives, and I can tell he’s surprised at how good it is.

‘Did Grace say something to you when you saw her?’

‘No.’

‘Really?’

‘Nothing specific. She was treating me like I was radioactive, so I asked her what her problem was.’

‘And?’

‘Big mistake.’

‘Oh.’

‘Made me think, though.’

‘What did she say?’

‘Not much, just that she didn’t think you’d let me anywhere near the baby since I’m such a fucked-up loser.’

‘Oh.’

He grins.

‘Sweet girl.’

‘She is, when you get to know her.’

‘Sure. So will you? Let me see it? The baby, I mean.’

‘Of course I will.’

‘Good. I thought maybe I could come down here sometimes … actually, maybe London would be better. I could
buy a house. What do you think? I love London. I don’t suppose you fancy moving?’

‘Where to?’

‘I could buy a big house, use it as a base when I’m in town.’

‘What, and we’d live in it? How would Liv feel about that?’

He grins.

‘She’d go ballistic’

‘You’ve really thought this through, haven’t you?’

We both start to laugh.

‘Christ, I’m trying to do the right thing here. How am I doing so far?’

‘Not great.’

‘I love her, that’s the trouble. If I didn’t, I’d dump her and move in with you, play happy families for a while, see how it goes.’

‘No, you wouldn’t.’

‘I would. Seriously. Might be just what I need. Would you, if I asked you?’

‘Would I what?’

‘Give it a go. You, me and the baby.’

‘And the boys.’

‘Sure.’

‘What do you mean sure? They’re not an optional extra. Look, this is silly.’

‘I’m just trying it out for size, exploring all the options.’

‘Well, don’t. Don’t tell me maybes, tell me what’s happening. I’m too pregnant for maybes.’

‘Sorry, darling.’

‘It’s OK.’

‘The thing is, I never know what’s happening next week, never mind next month.’

‘I know.’

‘What about if I was like an uncle, who turns up once in a blue moon?’

‘Once in a blue moon doesn’t really do it for babies, Daniel. And I don’t want anything clandestine; it wouldn’t work, and it wouldn’t be fair on the baby.’

‘No, I suppose not. Look, I’m sure we can work something out. I’m due in New York but then I’m back for a few days. Leave it with me and I’ll call you, yes? When I’ve talked to Liv.’

‘OK.’

He looks at me.

‘It suits you, being pregnant. I’d love to take some pictures. Maybe we can go for a walk – the light’s great down here. Is there a beach near by?’

‘Yes. But if you think I’m prancing about posing for photographs in this weather you can think again.’

He grins.

‘Fair enough. Let’s order pudding. I’m assuming pregnant girls are into puddings, yes?’

‘Now you’re talking my language.’

After he’s dropped me off at home and I’ve told Gran that nothing’s been decided, much to her annoyance, I call Ellen.

‘I’m with your Gran. What a wanker.’

‘No, I think it was good; at least he’s thinking about it.’

‘Like how he tells his bloody girlfriend is your problem.’

‘I know, but he reminded me of how I used to be with Nick; you don’t know what you think about anything until it’s been filtered through them. I mean obviously I wish he’d stop being so hopeless, but in a way I feel sorry for him.’

‘For God’s sake get a grip, darling.’

‘He doesn’t know how to handle this, and I think deep down he really minds.’

‘Well, he’d better get over it then, and start being useful. Did you talk about money?’

‘He said he wanted to sort something out, but we didn’t talk about anything specific’

‘Christ, you really haven’t got the first idea.’

‘Ellen, you know how I feel about the money thing: it’s not the point.’

‘Yes, it bloody is. Why should you be worrying about the bills while he swans round being creative? Bastard. Next time you talk to him remind him I’m keeping a close eye on him, okay?’

‘Okay.’

‘Poor old Dovetail. He just disappeared?’

‘Yes. And we were meant to be cooking roast chicken, so the poor thing hadn’t had any lunch either. Do you think I should ring him?’

‘And say what?’

‘I don’t know.’

‘Probably not then.’

‘It’s all so complicated. I think I need to wait until the baby’s born; that’ll uncomplicate things, won’t it?’

‘I’m sure it will.’

‘Christ, I’ve just thought. What if Daniel tells Liv and they decide they want the baby? Joint custody or something like that. Maybe Liv might want to adopt – that’s very fashionable now, isn’t it – especially if you’re a film star with a tiny waistline to protect.’

‘Stop it, darling.’

‘Yes, but they might, and then I’d have to get a lawyer and have press camped outside the door like Grace, only I won’t have Bruno and electric gates to protect us.’

‘Sweetheart, there’s no way that’s going to happen.’

‘It might. You never know. I should have thought of that before I told him.’

‘So what else is worrying you? What was it with Jack again?’

‘That he’d be stolen from his cot in the middle of the night while I was asleep.’

‘And you rigged up some mad early-warning system with chairs tied to rope, and Nick nearly broke his neck falling down the stairs.’

‘He did not. It was only the two steps down to the bathroom. He made such a fuss you’d think he’d fallen down six flights. And anyway, it was wool, not rope.’

‘He rang me, you know. He was so worried about you going round the twist.’

‘I was fine after the first few weeks, and anyway he was loopy as I was. He kept going into panics about cot death and waking him up just to make sure he was still breathing. We both did a fair bit of that, actually.’

‘I know, darling, and this is the same. Nobody’s going to try to take your baby away from you.’

‘Well they’d better bloody not.’

‘What was the panic-button moment with Archie, the mad-dingo thing?’

‘It wasn’t dingos, it was any dog. Bit bloody ironic really when you think about it, since he’s spent the last few years desperate for one.’

‘But he’s stopped sleeping in the dog basket now, right?’

‘Yes, mainly because it’s in the garage.’

‘Okay, so you’re fine. No mad-dog nightmares, and you can rig up the woolly early-warning thing across the banisters again.’

‘Stop making fun of me. I’ve got serious hormones winging about here. I can’t help it.’

Archie comes in, in a state of high dudgeon because Jack won’t let him watch his
Lord of the Rings
DVD.

‘I’ve got to go – they’re fighting again.’

‘No problem. Give Daniel a few days and then I’ll send him a lawyer’s letter of my own. Hand-delivered. And Dovetail will be fine, I’m sure he will.’

‘Thanks, Ellen.’

Actually, I’m not sure he will. Maybe I should ring him, only I don’t want any more tense conversations today. But I could just call and fix up a new time for us to do the roast-chicken thing. Keep it neutral but friendly; that might work.

He doesn’t answer his phone so I leave a message on his voicemail, before Mum rings to moan about Dad, and Jack remembers we haven’t done his reading book and stands hopping up and down while I try to get her off the phone.

‘I’ve got to do five pages.’

‘Okay.’

‘But I might do more.’

‘Come and sit down then, love, and Archie, turn the telly off, and go and get your book too. Let’s have a reading half-hour.’

‘And then a snacker?’

‘Maybe.’

It’s Wednesday morning and I’m unloading the washing machine before I go to see Grace. They’re back at home for a week’s break in filming, so I’m going round today at eleven to deliver the wool she’s ordered. I’ve just got time to hang the washing out before I leave. And then just as I’m getting into the car it starts to rain.

Maxine is waiting as I’m parking the car.

‘Sorry I’m late.’

‘You’re fine. How’s it going with the shop?’

‘Okay, I think. We’re open again, only downstairs, but fine so far.’

‘Great, and don’t forget to let me know when you want Grace to do the grand reopening thing.’

‘Probably in the new year, when we’ve got all the work done on the café?’

‘Sure, as long as I get a free ice cream.’

‘It’s a deal.’

‘I should probably warn you: she’s in a pretty foul mood.’

‘Why?’

‘Jean-Luc’s ex-wife has turned out to be not quite so ex after all. They’ve been separated for ages and the divorce is still going through, but that hasn’t stopped her doing a deal with the papers for a four-page exclusive.’