Nerd Haiku (3 page)
Authors: Robb Pearlman
I yell in my sleep, |
“Thunder-Thunder-Thundercats!” |
My roommate hates me. |
Don't blame me for not |
knowing what you mean. You do |
not have thought bubbles. |
You misread the die. |
He clearly rolled a twenty. |
Bad Dungeon Master! |
I think it's funny,
you laugh for the wrong reason.
Ironic T-shirt.
You still use Hotmail,
and you ate my Hot Pocket.
You're a bad roommate.
Yeah? Well, you know what?
I'd still hate your stupid face
over on Earth-2.
Romulans? Um, no.
Ever hear of the Borg, jerk?
Why do we hang out?
You misspoke when you
said Iron Man was a droid.
Effing idiot.
Your words can't hurt me.
Neither can your sticks and stones.
Adamantium.
What are you doing, |
Dave? Dave? What are you doing? |
What are you doing? |
Hanging with my friends,
but thanks to the Internet
I'm still all alone!
There is nothing like
watching movies with friends on
MST3K.
Superman
made me
believe a man can fly and
dams can fall apart.
Will give it a shot,
but if the film sucks I will
so blog about it.
Camped out at theater
overnight. Twenty bucks for
IMAX. Please don't suck.
Waited in line for
two
days for these seats, lady.
Shut that baby up!
RealD glasses don't
fit over my prescription.
I'm stuck with 2D.
Not how it happened,
origin story altered.
Adaptations. Ugh.
The trilogy just
ended. Now there's a new one?
Reboot
this,
asshole.
Chronologically
X-Men: First Class
doesn't work
as a true prequel.
Though kind of clunky,
mechanical web shooters
really do make sense.
The blond or redhead?
For a nerd, Peter Parker
has some tough choices.
The red pill or blue?
The real choice should have been to
stop after one film.
Not stalking you, but |
the sequels were really bad, |
and you should know it. |
Milla Jovovich
makes anything watchable.
Resident Evil.
No cash to spare, but
I'll buy whatever is up
for Kate Beckinsale.
There's something so right
about a movie as wrong
as
Starship Troopers.
The day after a |
Chris Nolan premiere should be |
a nerd holiday. |
Dead before its time.
Oh, Paramount, why did you
Deep Space Nine
my heart?
Basic cable's fine.
All I need are G4 and
The Big Bang Theory.
BBCA is
to Syfy as chips are to
fries. Hail, Britannia!
Thought I'd seen it all,
but Blu-ray proved me wrong. The
saga is complete.
Wrote a brilliant book.
No one sees the subtlety.
Klingon's hard to get.
