Nerd Haiku (6 page)

Hours in line, but

heatstroke will not keep me from

Star Tours at Disney.

You want to sound like

a droid or alien? Use

a British accent.

Taking the Great Dane

to the Ren Fair. It's OK,

the saddle fits him.

Highly allergic,

I named my pet fish Krypto.

It's just not the same.

I am the only

one here wearing a red shirt.

This will not end well.

That didn't work out.

Things got really out of hand.

I need a Time Lord.

I wear a bow tie

because you think it is cool,

Eleventh Doctor.

Tuxedo T-shirt

and new Chuck Taylors for the

black-tie reception.

Holds my iPhone
and

Blackberry. Real leather, too.

Utility belt.

Question: Why do I

knit Cthulhu hats? Answer:

Because I Lovecrafts.

Blue blazer over

Super Grover T-shirt is

business casual.

Juicy Juice and some

Smurfberry Crunch are just part

of a good breakfast.

Better than coffee,

bigger jolt than Red Bull: the

power of Grayskull!

Spilled soup all over,

but this fur is forgiving.

Dressed like a Wookie.

I spent every dime

for this Cosplay masquerade.

Put on the damn cape.

My costume cost more

than I spent on food last year.

Take my picture. Please.

I feel tall and thin

and socially adjusted.

I like ComicCon.

ComicCon's the place

where I can achieve my dream:

Do Wonder Woman.

I'm bald, so costume

choices are limited to

Picard or Luthor.

Uploads take too long,

and there's a line for nachos.

Too many nerds here.

Thank you, E.T., but

no Reese's Pieces for me.

Peanut allergy.

Telemarketers?

I would much rather get the

Call of Cthulhu.

Hey, Rupe? Perry White

and J. Jonah Jameson

would never hack phones.

Maester
,
not
master.

Lannister,
not
banister.

Damn autocorrect.

Can't sleep, wondering:

Will werewolves or mermaids be

the next vampires?

The only teams I

wasn't picked last for were Teams

Edward and Jacob.