Never Enough: The Vipers MC (14 page)

Do you love your husband? Do you want him to live? Then you won’t tell him about this phone call.

It had started a week before I found out I was pregnant. Life with Grayson had been rocky at best, traumatic at worst. I’d felt us drifting apart, but couldn’t put my finger on why. Whenever I’d asked him about it, he would shut me out. Like it didn’t matter that our marriage was falling apart. I’d been certain he was cheating on me, though I knew years later that he hadn’t been. That was a relief, anyway.

I had no such assurance back then, though. It had torn me apart inside as I wondered, time and again, what I had done to push him away. Was it the club? Was the club coming in between us? Did I have to give him an ultimatum to force him to choose? I wouldn’t come second to the club or to anyone else. He needed to know that.

One day, I was home alone as always. I’d been doing laundry at the time. The phone rang—we’d had a land line in those days, along with our cells. It was strange for anyone to call the house. I remembered thinking that at the time as I picked up the phone.

“Hello?”

“Is this Mrs. Anders?” The voice had reminded me of the hiss of a snake, sending cold shivers down my spine.

“Yes. Who is this?”

“Somebody you need to pay attention to. Are you paying attention…Jess?”

My heart had nearly stopped beating out of sheer terror. The person on the other end of the line hadn’t say anything that could be construed as an outright threat, yet I was terrified of them. “Yes. I’m paying attention.” I’d hated the way my voice shook.

“Good. If you’re as smart a girl as everyone says you are, you need to watch your back. There’s no telling what could happen to the wife of a man like Grayson Anders.” The line had gone dead after that. I had dropped the phone, immediately running to all doors and windows to double check that they were locked tight. I’d then spent the rest of the day curled up on the sofa, staring at the phone as though it were a snake preparing to strike.

I had debated on whether or not to tell Grayson. What could he do, though? The number had come up as unlisted, and the person on the other end hadn’t given me the first clue to their identity. Anybody could whisper into a phone to scare a poor, defenseless girl. I didn’t want to upset him, so I kept the call to myself.

The next call hadn’t come through for two days. When the phone rang, I knew it had to be the same person. That was the first time the land line had rung since the first call. “Jess. How are you?” The same voice, the same hissing sound when they spoke. I wasn’t so afraid that time. I’d pep talked the hell out of myself for two days, preparing for the next time my caller dialed me up.

“Just fine, thanks. How are you?”

I remembered the cold laugh. The chilling quality of it. Something about the sound made me think the person on the line used a device to change the sound of their voice. It didn’t sound human.

“I’m wondering if you gave any thought to our call a couple of days ago.”

“You didn’t give me much to think about. You told me to watch my back. Big deal. I’ve been watching my back for years. Tell me something I don’t already know.” I went to the front door, checking the lock again, then peered out the window. It didn’t look as though there was anybody around.

“I’ll tell you this, then: If you don’t convince your husband to keep his nose out of things that don’t concern him, I’ll kill you. And if you tell him about this call, I’ll kill him, too.”

My knees gave out on me. I’d hit the floor, hard, but didn’t feel the pain. There was too much happening in my brain to register any physical pain. The line went dead. I’d sat on the floor for at least an hour, my head reeling. They would kill me, whoever they were. They would kill him if I told him. “Oh, God,” I’d whispered, rocking back and forth. It became my prayer, I remembered, one which I’d chanted over and over while rocking.

Still, I hadn’t told him. How could I? I didn’t know who was calling, and I didn’t know what the business was that Grayson needed to get his nose out of. He never told me about what happened with the club, then or ever. There were times when I’d visit the clubhouse, the way all the old ladies did. We were never privy to the real goings on, unless our men chose to tell us. Many of the men did rely on their women for guidance and a sympathetic ear. Not Grayson. As far as he was concerned, the further away from the heart of the madness, the better.

I’d lost sleep. I’d lost my appetite. I’d thrown up here and there—that was the pregnancy, but it didn’t occur to me for another four days that I’d missed a couple of periods. The last day, the day I took the test, was the day the last phone call came through. It was the worst of all.

“Congratulations, Jess.”

My blood had run cold. “For what?”

“I understand you’re pregnant. Or, at least, you bought a pregnancy test today. Isn’t that right?”

There were no words for the terror which had swept through me when I heard those words. The implications were enormous. Someone had followed me, even though I’d thought I was being so careful. I hadn’t noticed anybody tailing me, and I’d been looking out to the point where even I’d thought I was paranoid.

A cold, triumphant laugh. “Yes, I know everything you do. I know everything about you. I know where you go, when you go and what you do. I could take you out any time I wanted to. And if you think I’ll show mercy because you’re pregnant, you’re wrong. I’ll even make sure your husband knows you were pregnant, before I kill him, too.”

“Stop this,” I’d breathed, one hand against my belly.

“I’ll stop if you convince your husband to leave my business alone. He needs to get his club away from what they’re into right now. That’s all you have to do. And I’ll know if you tell him why he should because he’ll go after me. Won’t he, Jess?”

“Yes. He would.”

“We both know him so well, don’t we? I don’t make idle threats, Jess. You know I can find you if I want to. So don’t make me find you again.” With that, he’d hung up. I’d listened to the dial tone for a while before turning the phone off. Then I’d thrown up. Then I’d despaired over what to do.

In my panic, I’d eventually done the only thing that seemed to make sense: I’d run away. Grayson didn’t want to talk to me that night, when he got home from whatever he did. I knew he’d hurt someone, maybe multiple someones. That wasn’t why I left, though it was the excuse I’d given every day since then. He’d shut me out that night when I asked what he’d done, who he’d done it to, why it had happened. He’d glared at me when I begged him to please end whatever it was he had gotten into.

I didn’t tell him he’d made an enemy. I didn’t tell him about the threats. I didn’t tell him about the baby. Maybe if I had, things would have gone differently—and I might have gotten him killed, not to mention my baby. Running had seemed like the only viable option in my panicked, tormented mind. Had I been thinking more clearly and less out of fear, I might have made a different choice.

Had Grayson’s enemies faded away? Had they forgotten him as soon as he moved on from whatever he’d been into? Maybe they had never meant to kill him, after all. But they’d definitely intended to kill me. I couldn’t risk that, especially not once I knew I wasn’t alone in my body. Once I knew I was a mother, the world had taken on a very different shape.

It wasn’t even him I was hiding from—not entirely, anyway. I’d hidden from whoever the unseen enemy was. I’d gone back to using my maiden name almost immediately, signing my lease under that name, getting a job with it, the whole nine yards. Anything to keep me and my baby safe.

I could only hope my presence in Grayson's life wouldn’t bring back any ghosts from the dead.

Chapter Seventeen

Grayson

As long as Spongebob was on TV, everything was okay. I had something to relate to my son on. After that, it was anybody’s guess what we would talk about.

My level of distraction might have had something to do with it. I couldn’t stop wondering about Jess’s loan shark. Who were they? How could I get to them? Different plans of attack raced around in my head, bumping into each other. I had so much pent-up energy, I didn’t know what to do with myself.

Jess sensed it, too. I saw her smiling at me from her spot on the sofa. “You okay?” she asked, keeping her voice low, almost mouthing to words so David wouldn’t hear.

“Fine. Why?”

“Because the muscles are jumping in your jaw. I know what that means. You wanna get up and do something, and you hate that you have to sit still.”

I couldn’t help but shake my head and let out a short laugh. She still knew me. “Maybe that means I’m in a really good mood. A lot of time has passed.”

“Bull.” She grinned. Then she jerked her head in the direction of the open kitchen, and I got up to follow her there. David was happy to be left alone with his cartoons.

“Hey, you need anything? Something to drink?” He shook his head, eyes glued to the TV. At least he wasn’t sitting with his face pressed against it, the way I used to.

Jess pulled out a bottle of water, leaning against the counter as she uncapped it. “What’s up?” I muttered, glancing at David from the corner of my eye.

“I can tell you’re ready to let loose. What are you thinking?”

I couldn’t lie, and there was no reason to, anyway. “I think I have to find out about the loan shark. As much as I love having you here—and I do, seriously—we have to find out who’s threatening you. You said he goes by the name of Joe Green, right?”

“Right. That was the name Cindy gave me. And when I went into the office and used that name, his…associate…acknowledged it.”

“I don’t know of any loan shark with that name. It’s gotta be an alias or something. I asked Tony to look around for me, but he hasn’t come back with anything.”

“Tony? How is he?” Jess grinned. “Still upset that I knocked his tooth loose?”

I chuckled. “Probably, but I’m still sworn to secrecy on how it happened. He didn’t want anybody knowing a girl did it to him.” Jess’s grin widened.

“Maybe you should give him a call? I mean, not to force your hand, but I’m also a little concerned over this.”

“I guess you would be.” I took her hand, running a thumb over her knuckles. “I wanna know who’s doing this to you, and I wanna make them pay for it.”

“I won’t stop you,” Jess said. “I know I can’t, anyway. I’m not deluded.”

“So I finally broke you down, huh?”

“Something like that.” She squeezed my hand with a wink, then went back to the sofa to cuddle with David. I should have gone to my room to call Tony, but first, I watched them. I imagined what it would have been like if she hadn’t left. What sort of family would we be? I tried to imagine it being nothing out of the ordinary to watch cartoons together all morning and cuddle on the couch. With them there, I realized my apartment had felt very empty without them. I hadn’t noticed it before.

Tony didn’t sound happy to hear my voice. “What’s wrong?”

“Uh, nothing.” I checked the time—past ten-thirty. “What the hell’s wrong with you? Did I wake you up?”

“Yeah, you woke me up. It’s not even noon yet. Have a fucking heart, man.”

I bit my tongue to keep from laughing. “Sorry, I forgot you’d be partying last night.”

“Well, I’m up now. Even though I wish I wasn’t. Christ, my head is killing me.”

“You need to drink more water before you pass out,” I grinned. “Keep yourself hydrated.”

“Yeah, yeah.” He groaned. “What is it? Why are you calling me at this ungodly hour?”

“I need to know if you found out anything else about the loan shark. Joe Green, especially.”

“Not much. I asked around last night. I would have called you when I was, ya know, more alive.”

“Sorry to force your hand, but it’s kinda important.” I looked down the hall, to where my ex-wife and our son laughed over whatever Spongebob was up to.

“How important? Is Jess okay?”

“Can you come over? To my place, I mean?”

“Sure. I’ll be there in a half hour.” He sounded a lot more sober when he hung up the phone. I knew I could count on him. While I waited, I took a shower, shaved and dressed. By the time I padded out to the living room, Spongebob had given way to some show I’d never seen before.

“Well, I’m lost now,” I admitted. “These shows get weirder and weirder.”

“It’s not weird,” David insisted. “They’re good cartoons.”

“I’ll take your word for it.” I grinned at Jess, who grinned back.

David managed to pry his eyes from the TV to look up at me. “When can we go out to see your bike?” He didn’t miss a thing, did he?

“Soon. I have a friend stopping by, and I have to talk to him for a while. I might have to go out, too. When I get back, I’ll show you the bike.”

“You’ll have to go out?” Jess sounded worried. I wanted to warn her against doing that, scaring the kid that way, but I reminded myself that she’d already been as strong as she knew how to be. I had to take over for her.

“Only for a little while, and I’m not even sure I will. There will be somebody here with you. I promise.” I looked down at David. “Okay? When you see him, you’ll see why I want him to stay with you. He’s a big, strong man. Bigger than me.”

“Bigger than you?” David looked like he didn’t believe me.

Jess’s eyes went round. “There’s only one person bigger than you.” She grinned knowingly, just as the doorbell rang. I felt David jump, and I noticed the way he leaned against me a little when he did. He trusted me. I wanted more than anything to earn that trust.

“Don’t worry, big guy. It’s just my friend, who I told you about. You wait here.” I patted him on the back before getting up to answer the door.

Immediately, I regretted asking Tony to come over without telling him I had company. He looked like he’d died, been buried, then been dug up. He reeked of booze, too, and the smell of smoke hung all over his clothes. He hadn’t even changed out of what he had worn the night before.

“Oh, shit,” I muttered, shaking my head. “You’re a fucking mess.”

“Well, you made it sound so fucking important.” He pushed past me, staggering a little. Then he stopped when he saw who sat on my couch. “Oh, hell.”

Jess only laughed. “Tony.” She got up from the couch, hugging him gingerly. “Oh, God, Tone, you stink.”

“Hi to you, too, beautiful. It’s been a long time.” He looked like he wanted to die. I didn’t blame him.

“It has been, hasn’t it? I’m happy to see you.”

“Same here.” He smiled, then winced and put a hand to his head. Jess grinned knowingly.

“Hair of the dog?” she asked.

“Please. Whiskey.” She nodded, going to the bar in the kitchen. That left Tony standing in front of David, who looked up at him with eyes as big as saucers.

“Who’s this?” Tony asked, looking down at my son.

“Tony, this is David. David is Jess’s son.” Tony’s head swung around so fast, I thought it might fall off his neck. I shook my head quickly, giving him a look. I hoped he would keep his mouth shut.

“Oh, Jess’s son. Hi, David.” His voice sounded different than it had when he first came in. Gone was the big, gruff, hung-over biker. For once, he put two and two together without making a big deal about it. I breathed a sigh of relief.

Jess looked relieved, too, when she handed Tony his drink. He took it, swung it back with a single tilt of his wrist, and sighed deeply once he’d emptied the glass. “Well. It’s been a big day, I see.”

“You don’t know the half of it.” I took him to my room, letting him stretch out on the bed while I told him what had happened.

“Your kid?” he asked. “Holy shit, man.”

“I know. Believe me. It’s been a helluva twenty-four hours. Less than that, even.” I paced the room, the door shut between us and my would-be family. “I can’t fucking believe it. But there’s no way to deny it—I mean, look at the kid.”

“He looks exactly like you,” Tony muttered.

“Yeah. That’s my point. He’s my son.”

“Of course he is, if Jess says he is. I mean, she’s not like that. Not the type who would fuck another guy and tell you his kid was yours—hell, she’s not even the type to ever fuck another guy.” He was right about that, but I didn’t wanna tell him how right. She hadn’t been with anybody but me in her entire life.

“So I have a son. Fucking crazy. I don’t know the first thing about being a father. I never had one myself.”

“Nobody knows how to be a father until they’re a father. You can’t prepare for it. I mean, I guess you could read books or whatever, but it wouldn’t be the same as actually getting your hands dirty.”

“I guess. It’s all so much. Between that, and this loan shark bullshit…”

That jogged Tony’s memory. “Oh, yeah. So I was gonna tell you about what I heard. I talked to a couple of people last night at the bar—Schmidt’s, you know. I asked them if they ever heard of a loan shark named Joe Green. A bunch of ‘em said no, and one of ‘em said they thought they might have heard of him. He’s a bad guy, they said.”

“Yeah, well, I don’t need anybody to tell me that.”

“The guy I talked to, he’s one of the Blood Riders. He told me a friend of his borrowed money from a guy he thinks was named Joe Green around three years ago. The guy was one day late with his payment—one day—and somebody tracked him down and hit him with a car.”

“What?” I gaped at Tony. “You can’t be serious. You must have heard it wrong.”

“I know what I heard, buddy. That’s what he said. His friend got hit by a car. And he knows it was one of Green’s guys that did it, since the guy in the car actually stopped, got out, and told him he needed to pay up. Or he would back up and run him over next time.”

“Holy shit.” I sat on the bed, pushing Tony’s legs out of the way. “I can’t believe she got herself mixed up in some shit like this. I can’t believe she would be so fucking stupid.”

“Don’t call her that.” Tony had always been protective of Jess, maybe even more protective than me. “She was desperate, man. She wanted to provide for your kid. You know?”

“Yeah, well, she could have come to me at any time. There was no reason she had to hide herself the way she did. She knew I was with the club, goddamn it. She should’ve found me.”

“She’s too proud.” Tony put an arm over his eyes. “She always was. So were you. That’s why you guys fought the way you did—because you were always too much alike. You could never admit when you needed each other, or when you needed help. Stubborn to the end.”

“Shut up,” I muttered. I hated that he was right. She was proud, I was proud. I might have been able to find her after a while, if I hadn’t given up. I never thought to look for her under her maiden name, because I was too proud to think she’d go back to it after she married me. What a fucking idiot I was. Too proud, too stubborn. Just like Tony said.

“What’s the plan, boss?” he asked.

“I have to find this guy. I need to know who he is and what other names he goes by.”

Tony started to sit up. “Okay. Let’s roll.”