Never Giving Up (Never #3) (11 page)

“Ok, ladies. Where are we headed next?”

“Kell’s is just up the street. They’ve usually got some live music playing.” This coming from Megan’s friend, Beth, whose eyebrows went up, scrunching her forehead as she offered up the next activity.

“Oh! Irish Car Bombs! Let’s go!” Megan started marching, albeit a little sideways down the street, but I managed to catch her elbow.

“Megan, I think I’m going to head back to the hotel. Is that ok? I don’t want you to feel like I’m bailing on you, but, I’m bailing on you.” Megan’s arms came around me in a hug.

“Oh, Fella, I’m just glad you came out with us at all. I love you and I will see you tomorrow.”

“I think I’m going to go too, Megan. I think I should make sure Ella gets to the hotel ok.” Kalli’s voice had the same soft tone mine did, not wanting to upset her.

“Sure, Kalli. Thank you both for coming. I had a great time.”

“We did too, Megs. Make sure you don’t drink too much and make sure you all take the limo back to the hotel. Don’t get into cars with strange boys.”

Megan waved her hand dismissively at me. “Ok, Mom. Thanks. Bye.”

We watched her join her friends as they made their way down the street, the city lights illuminating the night, the tall buildings stretching up into the sky.

“You feel like walking or catching a cab?” Kalli asked.

“Cab. Definitely.” We walked the opposite direction of Megan and the girls, waited at the corner for a minute until we flagged down an available cab. We told the driver which hotel to take us to and settled into the car for the ride.

“Hey, were you ok back there? For a single lady, you didn’t seem to be enjoying the show very much.” I tried to read Kalli’s expression. When she was happy, it was really easy to see it on her face and in her eyes. But when she was emotionally closed down, I struggled to read her at all.

“Sure,” she said as she patted my leg. “I’ve just got some things on my mind.”

“Things?”

She shrugged, looking down at her hands that had found their way back to her lap. “I met somebody.”

I tried to contain my excitement and shock at her words, allowing only my eyebrows to show any inkling of emotion, shooting straight up towards the roof. I knew Kalli had troubles trusting men since everything had happened with Kyle the spring before.

“Oh?” I could see her smile a little, even if she was trying to hide it from me. But the smile disappeared just as quickly as it appeared.

“Yeah, but he’s gone. It wasn’t a big deal.”

“Wasn’t it? You kind of seem like it was a big deal.” I tried to nudge her gently, tried to get her to open up to me.

“I thought it was what I wanted. I told him that it had to be casual, like, a one-time thing. He was ok with it, at first, but then when it was time for him to go, it all just kind of blew up in my face.”

“How?”

“He told me he wanted more. I told him I didn’t.” She sounded broken.

“But you did, didn’t you?”

She nodded and wiped a tear that fell down her cheek.

“Oh, Kalli,” I said as I pulled her closer to me, hugging her. “Who was it?”

“It doesn’t matter.”

“It kind of does,” I countered.

“I can’t tell you, though. I’m sorry. I worked with him and if it got out, it wouldn’t be good for him.”

Well, that was a surprise. If it was someone she worked with, I could probably do enough stalking on google to figure it out or at least narrow it down. “You know I’d never tell anyone, Kalli. You’re my best friend. We should be able to tell each other these things.” She leaned away from me, scooted back to her own seat, and I felt her close up on me again.

“It’s ok. I’ll be fine.”

I didn’t believe her and she didn’t sound like she believed herself either. My heart hurt for her. I wanted nothing more than for her to be happy. Kalli was sometimes a conundrum to me. She just kind of showed up in our lives and wiggled her way in. I loved her and couldn’t imagine my life now without her, but trying to get her to open up or talk about her past was a chore. It was as if she didn’t want anyone to know who she was before we met her in Portland. She never invited us to Seattle where she lived. She never spoke about her family, never gave any insight into her world outside of our friendship. Did it matter to me? No. Not in the slightest. She had been there for me in the most emotionally tumultuous time of my life. She’d proven to be more loyal and loving towards me than I had ever imagined was possible. I loved her unconditionally, but I wanted her to trust me, to share things with me.

I placed my hand on her shoulder and gave it a squeeze.

“It’s ok if you’re not. You know that right? You don’t have to be fine all the time.” She didn’t respond, but I knew she’d heard me and that was most important.

We made it to the hotel and when we split to head to our individual rooms, I made her hug me. I took her by the shoulders and brought her into me, wrapping my arms around her. She was stiff at first, but eventually relaxed into me.

“I love you, Kalli. You’re like a sister to me. You can always count on me.” I heard her sniffle and felt her head nod. She pulled away and gave me her signature weak smile and headed towards her room.

When I got to my room, I found it empty, but wasn’t surprised by it. I expected Porter to have more stamina than me and to help Patrick have the time of his life. I decided that a hot bath sounded like the time of my life.

Soaking in the big tub was a luxury. The tub at the beach house was incredible, but not so much in Salem, where I spent most of my time, so I appreciated the tub and it’s strategically placed jets that were currently working the knots out of my back. After my bath, Porter still hadn’t returned and I was having a hard time keeping my eyes open. I turned on the TV, finding a movie I’d already seen, and laid down on the bed. I stretched out diagonally across the entire bed, my strategy to make sure Porter had to wake me to go to sleep.

My plan worked because I woke to the smell of my husband’s soap and his warm hand rubbing soft circles on my back. I opened my eyes and saw my husband’s face surrounded by just the soft light coming from the lamp by the bed.

“Hi,” I smiled up at him sleepily. When my eyes focused, I saw his hair was wet. “Did you shower?”

“Yeah. I smelled like smoke and women.” I cocked an eyebrow at him trying not to make it obvious that I had also noticed that he was naked.

“So you
did
go to a strip club.”

“That we did,” he said as he patted my butt, urging me to scoot onto my designated side of the bed. I slid over, rolling towards him, resting my head on my pillow, curling my knees up to my chest.

“Did Patrick have a good time?”

“If you’re asking me if Patrick had nearly naked women rubbing up against him, the answer is a sacred secret I will take to the grave.”

“So, what you’re telling me is that he had a lot of lap dances.”

“I’ve said no such thing.” He laid his head down on his pillow, facing me, trying to hide a smirk.

I narrowed my eyes at him. “How many?”

“How many dollar bills did Megan shove into G-strings where you were?”

“None of them rubbed themselves all over her while they were alone in a dark room.”

“How do you know lap dances happen in a dark room?”

“Don’t change the subject, Porter. How many lap dances did he get?”

“We each bought him one,” he finally conceded with a sigh.

“There were eight of you there! He had
eight
lap dances?”

“It’s not a big deal, Ella. Megan wanted him to have fun and told him to go to a strip club.”

“How many lap dances did
you
get?”

“None. I told you I wouldn’t.”

“How much money did you tuck into underwear?”

“None.”

“None?” I repeated, not believing his story. Suddenly, I was below him and his arms were caging me in, his long, hard body draped over mine.

“You doubt me all of a sudden. Where is this coming from?” Before I could form an answer, or even open my mouth, his lips were on my ear. “Don’t question my devotion, Ella. Don’t think twice about the fact that every other woman pales in comparison to you.” His hands found my wrists and slid them up, pinning them above my head. His thigh found its way in between my knees, spreading my legs underneath him and my breath caught in my throat. The panties I had put on before I fell asleep did nothing to hide the heat that was building, smoldering against his skin now as only a thin layer of cotton was between us.

“I don’t doubt you,” I managed to whisper.

“Oh, but you do.” His mouth found my neck and instead of the kiss I was expecting, I felt his teeth bite into my flesh. I gasped, surprised by his sudden and unexpected fierceness. He soothed the tender skin by laying a wet, open-mouth kiss over the exact same spot he’d just assaulted. I couldn’t help the moan that escaped at the feeling of his tongue on my throat or the wetness pooling between my legs. “When I see other women, the only thoughts that cross my mind center around how I still can’t believe that I was lucky enough to find you, to make you mine, and to convince you to marry me.” He continued to kiss his way down my throat, pulling not-so-gently on the neck of my nightgown. He growled when he realized he wasn’t going to get to his destination without taking it off.

I was speechless. I knew how he felt about me—how he felt about us. And even though I never wanted to make it seem like I didn’t feel his love or his need for me, lately with everything changing, inside my body and out, I found myself insecure. Obviously I’d let my insecurities into our relationship and he was having none of it.

His hands grabbed the bottom of the nightgown and pushed it up over my breasts and he wasted no time before taking one into his scorching mouth and palming the other, brushing his thumb over my hard, aching nipple. His hand and mouth did wonderfully terrible things to my breasts and I gasped for air, trying to wriggle free of the strong hold his other hand still hand on my wrists.

“Please . . . I need to touch you.”

He pulled away from my breast to look me in the eye. “What more can I do to convince you? To show you that you’re all I’ll ever want, all I’ll ever need?” As he said the words, his hips rolled into mine, igniting a whole new flame within me, sending a slow burn out through my veins. “I’m yours, Ella. I’ll never be anyone else’s and I’ll never want anyone else. Tell me that I belong to you just as much as you belong to me.”

Spurred on by his words, I felt a surge of possession rush through me. Of course he belonged to me and of course he wouldn’t look at another woman, let alone touch one. We were the same, him and I, unimportant in life before we found each other. Worthwhile? Yes. Meaningful? Yes. But lacking still on a very base level. I was nothing until he found me and he had nothing before I found him. Together we were everything that mattered.

He loosened his grip on my wrist and I pried it free, using both of my hands to bring his mouth to mine in a kiss that had so much electricity I was sure we lit up the room. I saw lights—white, blinding lights. My body was drawn to his, my back arching, my hips searching for his, trying to take the edge off the lust. I needed the contact, craved it, so I pushed up and forced him to roll onto his back. Never breaking the contact of our kiss, I brought my leg over his waist and straddled him, still using my hands to keep his mouth on mine.

I could feel so much more of him this way, my body getting the rush of the contact it was longing for. My hands ran along the chiseled planes of his chest, my hips grinding onto his erection, my body came alive. He pushed my hair out of my face as he continued to kiss me, his hand finding the back of my neck, pulling me into him, pushing his cock against me, hot and hard; I knew he ached just like me.

I broke our kiss and reached to pull my nightgown over my head. Before I could even throw it on the floor, his hands were on me again, kneading and teasing. I placed my hands over his, loving the feeling of what he was doing to me, the way his hands felt on my breasts. I leaned down to place another small kiss on his lips and felt his hands glide down my sides, over my ribcage. I continued with my mouth down his chin, over his throat, and farther south down the center of his chest.

I found him hot and hard, the short hair around his cock still a little damp from his shower. I wrapped a hand around him and could feel him pulsing between my fingers, literally throbbing. I opened my mouth and licked the underside of his shaft from root to tip, swirling my tongue around the head a few times, finally making eye contact with him as I took him fully into my mouth. I watched his eyes disappear as his lids fluttered closed, and heard a strangled moan escape from his mouth as it gaped open.

He was such a strong and assertive man; it wasn’t very often that I saw him give up his dominance. Knowing I was the one making him forget his need to be the aggressor only fueled the fire raging within me. My mouth took him in and the heat radiating off him simply warmed me. Everything combined—the heat, the throbbing, his relinquishment of control—it all boiled over and I felt myself start to claim him. Every bob of my head, every lick, every caress, it was all meant to convey one thing—that he was mine. Lost in the moment, living in the feeling of what passed between us, I hardly noticed he’d regained some attentiveness. I felt his hand move my hair from the side of my face, allowing him the pleasure of watching me love him. Our eyes met again and I watched as his hands came to grip me behind my neck, pulling me back up towards him.

He pulled my face within inches of his, both of his hands tangled in my hair, gently tugging. “Take me,” he whispered. “I’m yours.” We collided then, in every way possible. My mouth met his, my hands found his skin, and with one quick roll of my hips I captured him, felt him fill me completely. We were connected, emotionally and physically, and I couldn’t help but think about how much deeper our connection was; I always had a piece of him in me, carrying his child, tying me to him irrevocably.

“If you’re mine,” I said against his mouth, “then I’m yours.”

He growled and pulled down on my hips, burying himself deeper inside of me, causing me to gasp. I sat up, adjusting to being so incredibly full. My eyes closed and my head tipped back, my hands finding purchase behind me on his muscular thighs. I felt his hands roaming all over me, gliding over my skin, causing goose bumps to rise, blood to pulse. I rocked back and forth on him, mouth falling open at the instant pleasure coursing through me at the contact. I rode him, the head of his cock always managing to find that one spot, deep inside, that sent shockwaves and electricity straight to my core.