Never Giving Up (Never #3) (30 page)

“The first time he ever took a video of us having sex, he said it was an accident.”

Her words were cold and removed and my heart broke in half for her.

“He said he had been trying to take a picture, but it had been on video by mistake. Immediately, I panicked. I grabbed for his phone and tried to make him erase it and he backhanded me. In that moment I knew the first Bobby I met, the man who cared for me and was sweet and kind was never coming back. He said that the video wasn’t a big deal and that he already had pictures, so what was I so upset about?” She looked at me like I might have an answer for her, but I was in shock and couldn’t help but feel disgusted for her, terrified for her. “This went on for a few more weeks. He would make me have sex with him, lording the video over me, threatening to post it on the internet, email it to my parents, basically anything he could think of to hurt me, he used it against me.”

Brittany raised her eyes to mine and a new sadness had taken over, remorse and regret filled her to the brim and I ached for her. “I’ll never forget the first time Bobby walked into Poppy. I panicked because he’d never come into my work before and I was afraid he was there to out me, to show my employer these disgusting videos and photos I’d
let
him take of me. And you can imagine my horror when you walked right up to him, kissed him on the cheek, and called him Kyle.”

My brain started piecing things together, started connecting all the dots she’d so bravely laid out for me.

“What?” I whispered.

“Yeah,” she said, so nonchalantly, wiping tears from her eyes. “I had been sleeping with your boyfriend. Not just sleeping with him though, making sex videos with him. I was shattered. I was completely disgusted with myself.”

I looked to Porter whose jaw was tense and clenching and I knew that if Kyle wasn’t already dead, he’d be on a rampage right now looking for him.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I couldn’t! That day he came in to Poppy, he was taking you to lunch and when you went in the back to get your coat, he told me that if I said anything to anyone he would release everything.” She paused and took in a shuddering breath. “That’s also how he forced me to steal all that money from you.”

My heart stopped and my breath was stuck in my throat. In the corner of my eye I saw Porter place Mattie in her crib and start pacing the room, back and forth.

“I’m so sorry, Ella. I never meant to do any of this and if I could go back and change everything I would. I just didn’t know what to do. For so long, years, he had a thumb over me, taunting me with the videos, telling me he’d post them all over the internet and my future would be ruined. A few times I almost refused, almost let him follow through with his threats. There were other times I also thought about ending it all. I just wanted to be that carefree, fun, happy girl I use to be, ya know?”

“Oh my God, Brittany, I can’t believe he did that to you,” I whispered. Even after everything I’d been through with Kyle, learning the depths and lengths his evilness spanned was always still surprising. I wouldn’t put any of this past him, but still found it hard to believe that someone I’d wasted so much of my time on could even think of pulling something like this off.

“When I heard that you’d killed him, that you had shot him dead, that was the most wonderful moment of my life, and that alone made me so sad. The idea that the death of someone gave me some sort of freedom, well, that really messed with my mind. But I couldn’t get over the happiness. Finally, I thought, finally it’s over.” She sniffed again, wiping her nose on a kleenex.

“But then the private investigator came into the store and I knew I either had to tell someone, or I was going to be found out.” A new wave of panic moved over her and I watched as she simply fell apart.

“I’m so sorry, Ella. Oh my God, I’m so sorry. I would never have stolen from you—not in a million years. I know what you must think of me and . . .”

“Brittany, don’t say another word.” Porter’s voice was loud and firm from across the room. He walked over and knelt in front of her. “If this is the true story, if he really did this to you, and I don’t have one tiny sliver of doubt that he did, you need to talk to the police. Ella and I, of all people, understand that Kyle was by far the worst person that ever walked this earth, and I am so sorry that he did that to you. It wasn’t your fault and we could never place blame with you. But you have to tell this to a detective.”

She nodded, sniffling at the same time. “I know. I just wanted Ella to hear my side of the story before I turned myself in.”

“What do you mean turn yourself in?” I asked, finding my voice suddenly concerned with what she was planning to do.

“I’m going to the police station to tell them what I’ve done.”

“You mean what you were coerced and blackmailed into doing?” All of a sudden I was filled with rage that Kyle had tried to ruin someone else’s life. However mad I was, I was even sadder knowing he had probably succeeded a little with Brittany. Even from the grave he was still causing pain. “Brittany, there is no active investigation right now about the missing money. We hired a P.I. because we were curious as to how he did it. But no one is looking to press charges against you. You did nothing wrong.” Brittany looked at the ground and nodded her head, but she still looked defeated. I couldn’t imagine what she was thinking, or the bravery it took for her to come here and tell her story. “You’ll go to the police station, Brittany, but not to turn yourself in, to give a statement, to aid them, perhaps, but that is all.”

Porter reinstated his purposeful march across the room, angry steps leaving angry thumps in their wake. Mattie slept peacefully as years of drama unfolded around her. I watched Brittany and she looked down to her lap and cried, softly mumbling how she never meant to hurt anyone.

We were all better off now that he was dead.

It was a harsh statement. It was also a true statement. He hurt more people than he helped. If I hadn’t defended myself last year, if I hadn’t killed him, not only would I be dead, but he’d still be hurting other people. Brittany might still be under his thumb. For the first time in maybe ever, the guilt over killing another person wasn’t weighing so heavily down on me.

Once she’d quieted down and pulled herself together a little bit more, Brittany stood and made to leave. I hugged her and tried to remind her that none of this was her fault, that what he had done was wrong. She nodded at my words, but I knew she wasn’t agreeing with me. It would probably take her a very long time to accept that fact, but I hoped that someday she would. She told me she would go to the police station straight from the hospital and I gave her Dillard’s name, telling her to only talk to him. I hugged her again and then watched her walk out of the room.

My eyes found Porter and they were wide, my mouth hanging open a little, completely and totally shocked at what the last hour of our lives had left us with.

“Can you believe any of that?” I asked him, hoping he was just as shocked as I was.

“I know I’ve said this before, but he’s lucky he’s dead already, because otherwise I’d find him and finish him off myself. What a worthless waste of a human being.”

“He seemed so normal . . .”

“Yeah, well, if all the crazy douchebags of the world would wear neon flashing signs around their necks warning us all, the world would be a better place.”

I had to laugh at the image of Kyle with a sign hanging from his neck flashing the words “Deranged Psychopath.” I let out a sigh, finding that all the day’s events were finally catching up and finding me exhausted.

“Have you thought about what you’re going to do tomorrow?” His voice was light and concerned all at the same time. I could feel his need to protect me as a physical force, his need to keep me safe wafting over me. I nodded and met his eyes.

“I’m going to go to the trial.”

He nodded, silently, then ventured another question.

“And you trust your mom enough to leave Mattie here with her?”

I shrugged. “I don’t know if I trust my mom, or sister, or Kalli, or anyone enough to be here with Mattie without me. But it doesn’t matter, because the only other person on the planet I’d leave her with is going to be here with her—you.”

His eyes grew wide in surprise and he took a few steps towards me. I kept my face still, not letting my feelings show as he moved closer to me. I’d seen Porter get worked up quite a few times since we’d been together, and I knew he would never hurt me, but this was fury I’d never seen Porter direct at me before.

“You’re crazy if you think I’m going to let you testify tomorrow, even be in the same room as that poor excuse for a man, without me.” His finger was pointed angrily at me, his voice was firm and furious, and his eyes were wild. He was really scared. And I knew he would be. This was exactly the reaction I was expecting from him. Even though I knew he was furious, it made me smile.

“Porter, the only place I
need
you tomorrow, is here, with our baby.” I stood up and walked to him, taking his hand in mine and wrapping his arms around my waist. “I have no doubt that I can testify tomorrow, on my own, just fine. And I would love it if you could be there with me, holding my hand, and offering me sweet words of comfort, just like I know you would. But I
need
to know that Mattie isn’t alone, isn’t sensing that we’re both gone and wondering where we’ve went. That would hurt me more than anything. So you need to stay here. Can you do that for me?”

He grunted.

“The idea that he’ll have his eyes on you, that he’ll even be breathing in the same room as you makes my skin crawl, Ella. I don’t think I’ll be able to handle knowing you’re there without me.”

“We’ve been dealt some pretty shitty cards, Babe. Trust me, I’d be the first to tell anyone that when it comes to us, our relationship, and our lives, we’ve fought more battles than I think necessary. But I’d fight them all over again for our little girl. That’s what tomorrow will be for me: a battle. But I can win this one, Porter. I can walk in that courtroom and I can put him away. I will. And on top of all of that, the part that makes me almost excited to fight that battle, is that I feel like I can do it on my own.”

I leaned into him, resting my forehead against his chest, soaking up every ounce of calm that being near him offered. “I’m finally strong enough to fight this on my own. I need you for so many things, Porter. I need you to love me, and make me laugh, and be a father to our child, and comfort me, and to build me beautiful houses, and to take me on picnics.” I looked up at him, using my eyes to beg him to trust me in this. “But tomorrow, I can fight that battle by myself. In fact, I need to. I want to. And I’m going to win.” He used one of his big, strong, callused hands to sweep my hair behind my ear, and then his gentle hand cupped the side of my face.

“I’m so proud of you,” he whispered, his words caressing my face, opening up my soul, and hiding inside my heart. He pulled me into him again and I smiled against his chest. I felt his hand drop to the small of my back while the other cradled my head against him. I breathed him in again, loving what his embrace could do to me. “I am
so
proud of you,” he repeated, even quieter and closer to my ear. Only I could hear him. I felt as if it were a gift he was giving me. His pride. There were a few things I knew in life to be true—undoubtedly, one-hundred-percent, absolute truths. I knew that Porter loved me. I knew that we were supposed to be together. I knew that Mattie was destined, fated, to be ours, just waiting in the wings for her cue to arrive. I knew he supported me, wanted me, cherished me, and appreciated me. But to hear him say he was
proud
of me was fulfilling in a soul-lifting kind of way.

I took his praise and I felt it inside of me, lighting me up. But his sentiment only mirrored what I already felt inside.

I was proud of myself.

We both knew that a year ago I would have been reduced to a puddle of panicked goo on the floor with even the idea of being in a room with my shooter, testifying against him. I would have needed Porter and possibly medication to get myself through that event. But today I was confident that I would handle everything capably. Would it be difficult? Yes. Might I be uncomfortable? Probably. But I knew that, even if I panicked a little, I could work through it. Testifying against him was important enough to me.

I sighed against him and again felt the exhaustion of the day. All the ups and downs and revelations dragging the energy right from me. I brought my hand up to cover a yawn and felt Porter still running his hands through my hair.

“So will you do me a favor and show up here really early tomorrow so I have time to go home and get ready before I have to be in court?”

“I’ll do you one better. How about we share this God-awful excuse for a bed they’ve given us and you spend the night cramped up against me?”

I smiled up at him, unable to imagine anything better.