NEVER GOODBYE (An Albany Boys Novel) (14 page)

So I have less than forty-five minutes to get out of yesterday’s disgusting clothes, shower and get ready for a fun day at the pond with Vaun and his friends.

Today I am going to live life to the fullest with April’s rule number three.

***

I hear Vaun’s truck pull up behind Dad’s and I’m almost pinging off the walls. Super excited and nervous is an evil mixture. The idea to jump out the door and into his arms has me grinning, yet after the way we ended things last night, I’m not sure how to act so I will wait to follow his lead. His reaction will be the starting point to whether I leap head first.

I’m at the front door when he knocks; my hand is shaking as I reach for the knob and I try to breathe without hyperventilating. I open the door and smile when I see him in his white tee and grey board shorts. His eyes roam over my face and then more obviously over my body. Today I went for April’s brazen attitude and I’m wearing a bikini top and denim shorts with my wet hair in a messy bun. I’m not vain or naïve either, I know I look good, I wanted to look good and from the big grin on Vaun’s face, I think he likes it. Like, really likes it.

“Have you got a shirt?” His grin is still in place, but mine is falling.

“Why?” I look down, scrutinizing my appearance and suddenly regret my unabashed choice of half nakedness. “I can go get one. Just give me a second.”

I’m about to turn when he grabs my arm and pulls me to him, causing me to fall into him. Graceful is obviously not my friend and my face is burning as I titter.

Vaun wraps his arm around my waist, his hand splayed across my bare, lower back. It feels intimate and I take back my regret.

“Blue, I love … this,” he says as his husky voice tickles my neck and his fingers brush the skin of my hip and back. “Let’s go back to your room instead.”

His jest makes me laugh. “What about the pond and your friends?”

“Screw the pond and my friends. I want you to myself now.”

I can’t help gripping his shirt, cause, no joke ― my knees are shaking like jelly. I know he’s joking, well half joking, yet I’m not sure which I’d prefer because under his gaze I’m putty.

Nonetheless, the inner war is brought to a peaceful treaty when April’s voice belches across my front lawn and right through my libido.

“Awe how cute and disgusting.
Get a room
.” April squeals, scrunching her face, but I can tell she’s fighting the big smirk. I pull away from Vaun’s chest, but he doesn’t let go of my waist and I really don’t mind. Not one bit.

“I’m trying.” Vaun mumbled and I bite my lip hard, trying not to laugh.

Carter winks at us and nods. He’s such a boy. “Y’all ready?” he asks.

Vaun glances at me and I beam, nodding my head as he snickers. “Yeah, let’s do this. Although, I think I’ll take my own truck.”

Carter chuckles, “Sure thing,” he says, shaking his head.

April giggles, leaping over the boys to hug me, and I notice she is holding the camcorder now. She hugs me so damn tight I can’t get a breath when she whispers, “I’m so lucky
and
we need to talk.” Then moves away and takes Carter’s hand again. I’m so glad she got her boy and she’s found happiness. She’s been looking out for me since I got here and I had worried that I was stopping her from living her life, because she’s the type of girl who needs to be in the thick of things.

I close the door behind me and try to push the thought of Benny home with Dad today. It won’t be long before Dad will be up and heading out to see Mom, if he sees I’ve gone out and Benny is home, he’ll make Benny go with him. This is not to say Benny doesn’t want to see Mom, he always wants to see her. It’s that every time he goes there, he comes back hurt and disappointed that she doesn’t acknowledge his existence. It’s heart breaking.

Nope. Don’t go there, don’t think about it. Just keep thinking about how nice Vaun’s hand on my hip is, how nice it will be to have fun today, to swim and be free. I keep walking and let Vaun be all gentlemanly, opening the door to the truck for me. He quickly turns cheeky as he taps my bum as I hop in — it’s almost a tradition now. Today is going to be memorable.

We didn’t talk about the night before, and I’m relieved he’s given me a pass without me actually using one. I kinda wish I’d thought to use it last night and maybe … nope not going there either. Instead I turn up the car radio, which plays something country, and sit back. He’s got that big grin going again, the one that makes my belly do that stupid flipping and I think it’s worsened by the wind blowing through his shirt and hair. He’s so hot, and I think he knows it.

He looks as free as a bird and I envy everything he stands for. Maybe that’s another reason why I fell so hard and fast; he represents all that I want in life, all that I love. I wish I could show him, but it will have to wait.

We spend the next fifteen minutes smiling and eyeing each other without one single word. Not one. And it doesn’t matter. I can read him and I feel the same. We don’t say the words. Nonetheless, they are there, hovering in the cab between us when he suddenly pulls off the road. I’m not sure what he’s doing and I look around us to determine why we have stopped while Carter and April are building the distance between us as they continue to speed along to our destination.

The crunch of gravel scares me and the truck comes to a halt when Vaun reaches across the bench seat, presses the release of my seatbelt, grabs my shorts and pulls me across so I’m right beside him. I can’t help the gasp that escapes my parted lips, nor the flutter of my heart at his strength and the need for me to be near him. He doesn’t speak as he fastens me into the middle seat. His arm is across my chest which is heaving like crazy and I can’t stop it without it looking like I’m trying. He lingers and I think he’s going to kiss me but he doesn’t. I think he’s teasing me on purpose and I think it has to be just as hard for him as it is for me to be this close. The thought brings a smile there’s no chance of hiding and, really, I don’t want to. It’s a nice change to smile easily.

I feel the earth move or, more accurately, the truck move as passing cars and semi-trailers whirr past us without thought. Vaun’s eyes dance across my face while his little smirk fails to hide his desire. The air between us is on fire; charged and ready to ignite the building hunger. If he kisses me, I’m not sure what will happen. Will I combust? Will I wither away? Will I grab hold of him and never let him go? I don’t know and not knowing is frightening. Frightening and … exhilarating.

Without thought, without clear motivation, my eyes close and I feel him. I can feel the heat radiate from him, his breath closer and then his lips touch mine and I moan and melt into him. My arms have a mind of their own and have captured him, pulling him closer as my mouth allows him the access his tongue seeks.

              I’m lost and desperate for everything he’s willing to give me and not because I might not get to experience it later in life. No, Vaun brings a desire for life and love from within me that I never knew existed or could exist. Every part of my body is tingling and alive. I love him for that, too.

              I’m about to fall over the cliff, about to lose myself in the feel of his hands that never leave my neck or hip. His lips feel delicate for a boy who looks anything but that and, oh my God, I’m losing myself. I’m lost in the feel of his tongue inside my mouth, against my teeth, my lips. Then he sucks on my bottom lip and pulls away from me. In that one moment, I realize I can do anything when I have Vaun. I can forget everything and be myself again and, as I slowly open my eyes, I see a boy I will always love for the rest of my days.

              He thumbs my bottom lip and smiles, puts the truck into gear and we are on the road again. But this time I’m by his side, our legs are together and our fingers braided, all without one word because, really, who needs words?

8

Take a risk

Harper

‘He who is not courageous enough to take risks will accomplish nothing in life.’

Muhammad Ali

              It’s a bumpy ride through the woods, some farm land littered with cattle and open fields. I still can’t believe how many cows I’ve seen since coming to Albany. Then again I guess Vaun could say that about Starbucks in Seattle. It’s all about what you’re used to. Like the language differences. Some say ‘gals’ here and ‘Y’all’. They drink sweet tea … what the hell’s with that?

              I know we’re getting close when I see an SUV disappear into the woods on the hill above and I wonder how on earth they know where they are going. We aren’t on a road or a track, it’s like they have a lojack on this pond or something.

              We slow to a crawl when, over the crest of the hill, we see a group of vehicles parked in the shade at the edge of the woodland. This must be the place.

              Vaun comes to a halt behind one of those all-terrain buggy things you see the farmers use. I look at all the different methods of transport used to get here, realizing they all belong on farms and dirt roads. 

Carter and April are waiting with a group of people by the large picnic table that’s surrounded with coolers and chairs. Some people I recognize, most I don’t. There are loads of laughter and screams. Most of the screams coming from the rope swing at the top of the hill leading into the pond―pfft. I don’t know why they call it a pond, the damn thing is as big as a lake, for crying out loud.

There is one guy out paddling in a canoe and of couple of girls lying back, sun-baking on the pier that leads from the bank to half way out into the water. A couple are fishing and I realize I have never fished in my life; I wonder if Vaun will teach me.

“Will you teach me to fish?” I ask, gazing out and watching a girl reel something in.

I can feel his eyes on me and I smile before I look at him.

“You don’t know how to fish?”

I shake my head, a tad embarrassed.

“They’re fishing for Crappies and Catfish for lunch. I didn’t bring my gear, but I’m sure Rodney won’t mind. In fact he will insist when he finds out you never fished before. Carter might even have his.”

I’m excited and nervous. Not just about fishing, but everything. There would have to be at least thirty people out here. There are some guys unloading beer from truck beds and are filling coolers with beer and ice and I’m thinking beer and swimming isn’t such a great idea. Vaun pulls me from my thoughts as his hand squeezes mine. I look from the group of semi-intelligent teenagers, to our hands, to his eyes.

              “You’re with me. Nothing will happen,” he assures with a smile that actually makes my muscles relax so much that I sigh. “Come on. We’re going to have a mad day that you’ll remember forever and you’ll get to know the group so hanging at school will be easier.”

              “What do you mean, school?” I never even thought about school or what we were supposed to do about our social mesh. Well, it’s not hard to mesh to social groups when you’re in a group of two, but still. I never anticipated or expected to join his group of friends. The plan was to keep a discreet distance and not bring attention to myself so that when I had treatment or shit hit the fan, no one else was affected. Now, as I look back over to them and their blatant disregard for the trials of a teen, I kinda envy them. I wish I could be completely free, just like them.

              Vaun chuckles, jumps from the truck and I watch him as he gives a single wave to the tall guy with a shirt wrapped round his head. I unfasten myself and slide toward his door where he’s waiting for me. I sit on the edge of the seat and wait for him to move, but he doesn’t and I smile, tilt my head and stare at him. I can dismount the truck on my own, but I get the distinct feeling he’s not going to let me.

              “Why do you have to fight me on everything?” he jests, but I can tell there is some truth in his questioning.

              “I don’t fight you on
everything.
Just the things I think you’re wrong or being absurd about. It’s not my fault that you’ve been one or the other for most of the time we’ve known each other, now is it?”

              His brows peak as well as his grin. I can’t fight my grin nor the titter that expels from my chest.

              “If I didn’t think you would ignore me for the rest of the day I would throw you over my shoulder right now,” he says hoarsely and my giggling stops. “So instead of making a scene I’ll make a deal with you.”

              I don’t say anything, I don’t even move. There are consequences to ones actions and this is mine. I’m going to have to pay the price for making fun of a guy who knows how to take advantage of every situation. Without thought, my words leave my lips before I can stop them, “Pass.”

              Vaun barks a single laugh and looks at me incredulously. “Serious?”

              I only have ten left. And I scrunch my face at my rash mouth. “I panicked.”

              He laughs, his thumb rubbing my thigh, distracting me. Everything about him distracts me.

              “Well, I guess you passed so you’re free for now. But something tells me I’ll get to employ my plan sometime soon, anyway.”

              The biggest sigh expels from my chest and I know he isn’t threatening me, he is warning me and at that rate I’ll use all ten of the passes I have left before they are truly needed. “You could just be nice to me and never employ your devious plan. That could work out in your favor, too,” I sweetly say, hoping he won’t be able to pass up my feeble attempt at flirting. I don’t think I have ever purposely flirted before and, suddenly, I’m watching the heated look he’s giving me and I feel some confidence.

              “Are you bribing me with seduction, Harper Kennedy?”

              I lick my lips because I know that one drives him a little crazy, he said so, and lean back a little in the seat. Yep, in seconds I’ve gone from shy, normal Harper Kennedy to whore-bag seductress to get what I want. Do I care right now? Ahhhh, nope!