Never Had a Dream Come True (21 page)

“When it comes to Penny, I seem to have lost it completely.”

Ivanoff snorted. “Off you go, you young fool. Off and find some other woman to lose the steam with and let this little girl stay innocent until her wedding day.”

And without listening to her halfhearted protests, the butler more or less dragged Penny upstairs and didn’t leave until she had closed her bedroom door behind her.

Well inside, she threw herself on the bed with a thud.

What a strange, wonderful day.

She closed her eyes as the memory of Rake’s hands touching her body came back to her. It had been pure heaven until Ivanoff had interrupted them. At the moment she had felt a bit annoyed with the kind butler, but now she was only thankful.

She sighed, a bit embarrassed as she thought about Thomas. He was such a kind, good man and not at all deserving of a fiancée who dreamt about another man.

The only thing making the engagement still seem real for her was how they never once had lied and called it love. They were friends, and as friends they planned to enter holy matrimony.

If not Rake…

A deep sigh from the bottom of her heart escaped her as she sat up again, not as giddy anymore. She had to stop hoping Rake would do the honorable thing. When it came to women he wasn’t honorable. At least not if it would include more than a few hours of mutual pleasure. And especially not if it meant something more lasting—like marriage.

For a married woman seeking a bit of excitement, he must seem the perfect man. But to an unwed virgin he was nothing more than the devil in the disguise of an eligible bachelor.

She would give him a chance to step forward. It was all she could do. For her to ask him to marry her was out of the question. Besides her disliking the mere thought of being the joke of the next Darling dinner, she wanted—no,
needed
—him to come to her.

He knew what she felt for him.

She had thoughtlessly made that quite clear to him at the Green Park picnic all those months ago. Not that it had gained her anything. He had only tried harder to convince her to become his mistress.

But the past was the past.

Tomorrow they were heading to Sandhurst, and she would make the most out of the little trip. It was only a few months until her wedding, and as soon as she had Thomas’s ring on her finger she would never be able to spend time alone with Rake.

It was unheard of—a platonic friendship between a married lady and an unmarried gentleman. Of course they would meet at social occasions at Chester Park over the years. But they would never be able to do more than exchange a few polite words, and never would they find themselves alone together again.

She knew there were many married ladies who got themselves a lover, someone like Rake. Indeed, rumors said
he
had been lover to most of the married ladies of the
ton
. But she could never do such a thing to Thomas. If they married, she would become his forever. And even if her mind and heart might dream of a man who never would be hers, so be it. What Thomas didn’t know would never hurt him. And as she wasn’t about to tell anyone about her daydreaming, Thomas would live happily ever after, which was all she could wish for.

But until then…

She was still unmarried and free to roam the countryside with the man of her heart—and a maid for chaperone.

Tomorrow they were heading to Sandhurst, and anything could happen.

“Lady Penelope, you look lovelier than ever.”

Penny blushed as Rake bowed over her hand and put small lingering kisses on her fingertips.

“As do you, Lord Richard,” she breathed. “As do you.”

Rake chuckled softly as he straightened his back again without releasing her hand. “I know. I have tried to look my best for you.”

“Must have taken you all night.” Jamie ducked as Rake took a swing with his free hand and countered with a pat on his twin’s back that could easily have made a smaller man crumble. But Rake was used to his brother’s antics and didn’t budge.

“James and Richard, behave.”

The duchess emerged onto the front stair, where the threesome stood in the warm morning sun, waiting for the carriage that would take them to Sandhurst.

“I thought you had left already and had forgotten the promise you made me yesterday.”

Rake lifted an inquiring eyebrow, but before he could speak a young maid came forward, clad in her best clothes.

Penny bit back a smile. So this young and inexperienced maid, with eyes as big as saucers, was their chaperone? Did the duchess want them to do something they shouldn’t, so she could get her heart’s wish fulfilled without having to continue with the masquerade plans?

“Great.” Rake grinned wickedly. “She will fit just perfectly in the other carriage.”

“What other carriage?”

Rake gave his frowning mother an innocent look. “Oh, did I forget to mention I was taking my new phaeton for a drive? Testing it, you know. And as you are well aware, a phaeton only holds two people. So I had the town coach ordered forward for the maid to travel in.”

“The town coach? For one person? A bit much, don’t you think?”

“I’m going, too,” Jamie interjected sternly. “I have some errands to do in town, and this arrangement suits me just fine. The maid can share my carriage with me, and I will make sure the phaeton stays close and in sight the whole way.”

The last part was directed to his twin, who shook his head with feigned sorrow. “Why does it sound as if everyone thinks I will do something lewd to Penny if we happen to get out of sight?”

“Because you will,” his brother and mother said unanimously, and Rake shrugged toward Penny.

“I guess they’re right. You’re too gorgeous for me to keep my hands off, if we manage to get lost.”

“Richard!”

“I said ‘if.’ ”

“You said it as though you were planning to get lost.”

“Of course I’m not planning to. But if we were… Let’s say I wouldn’t mind a little solitude among friends.”

“Penny, you can go with Jamie in his carriage, instead. I’m reluctant to admit my son has lost his common sense.”

“And here I thought you would love to have a good solid reason to force me into marrying poor Penny.”

“So I might be a bit partial when it comes to whom Penny is to marry, but it doesn’t mean I will allow you to handle her any way you like. You are a gentleman, even if you seem to forget that a little too often.”

Rake rolled his eyes toward Penny. “And she thinks
I
lost my common sense.”

The duchess gasped. “I heard that!”

Penny laughed as Rake grinned wickedly toward her behind his mother’s back. Oh, how she loved this family. Someone who didn’t know them as well as she did would probably be shocked over how outrageously they behaved to each other when not in public.

But not she. She had grown up listening to their constant bickering and their strange discussions, and she knew this was something she would miss immensely if she married Thomas. Neither she nor Thomas had many relatives, and she guessed it would be a bit lonely at family occasions.

“Ah, there are the coaches,” the duchess exclaimed, and soon the four of them were seated in the two carriages, with Rake and Penny in the phaeton and Jamie with the maid in the larger, more practical carriage.

As soon as they were beyond the gates of Chester Park, Rake increased the speed and left the others farther and farther behind, but Penny didn’t mind. She closed her eyes and enjoyed the warmth of the September morning’s sun caressing her face.

Rake hadn’t lied when he told his mother the coach was new to him. During most of the ride to Sandhurst he tried out different turns and speeds, ignoring Penny except for informing her of various utterly uninteresting tidbits regarding this fantastic vehicle.

As they arrived in Sandhurst, Penny was relieved to leave the carriage behind and meet up with Jamie and the maid outside Mrs. Frazer’s shop.

Jamie was frowning more than ever as he told them to meet him at the inn in a couple of hours, and Rake shook his head, saddened as he watched his twin’s back disappear into the crowd.

“There is something bothering him, something which consumes him from inside out. But he just won’t tell me.”

“Maybe he doesn’t know how to.”

“I’m his twin. He can tell me anything.”

Penny put her hand on Rake’s arm. “But maybe he has seen or done something which he feels is so horrendous that he doesn’t know how to tell anyone, even you. You know what Raleigh told us when he came back from the frontier—it was worse than hell on earth.”

“But I’m his twin…”

She cut a sideways glance at him. Even while frowning he was still one of the most handsome men she had ever met. He wasn’t as perfectly beautiful as Francesca’s new husband was, but with Rake it was something more than simply good looks. It was something in the air about him. Something with how he held his head, how he moved his hands, how his eyes twinkled when he smiled.

Even now, when the twinkle was gone and an ugly frown marked his forehead, he still looked special and unique.

“Maybe you two should go somewhere and just talk about what’s in both of your hearts.”

She caught his attention with that remark.

“Whatever do you mean? Has Jamie said something to you?”

“He’s been a bit worried about you lately.”

Rake snorted. “Why? There’s nothing with me to worry about.”

She managed to keep herself from rolling her eyes. He must have the shortest memory in history. Or maybe he never had thought twice about how he had been acting over the last months.

“Maybe not, but still, Jamie was worried.”

“What? Did he say something to you?”

“Not much. He said he had tried to talk to you but you hadn’t been very approachable.”

Rake frowned. “It doesn’t sound like me. I’m not the one to refuse to talk to my family, especially not Jamie. That’s been more his game lately.”

“Exactly his words. And also the reason he felt he couldn’t push it with you, as he himself hadn’t been sharing much with you or anyone in your family.”

“Did he say something about himself?”

Penny shook her head. “No. We agreed we both had our share of secrets we didn’t want to talk about, and then we continued to talk about you.”

“Much more interesting subject, eh,” Rake drawled, and she laughed politely.

“It wasn’t a subject that lasted long, though. Not much to talk about there.”

“You minx.” Rake grinned at her and offered her his arm. “Come on, let’s go find Mrs. Frazer and have her sew the perfect outfit for you. We can continue this conversation later, when we’re not surrounded by too many ears.”

They strolled through the small town with the maid a few steps behind. Now and then they would meet an acquaintance of Rake’s, and he greeted them all lightly, although the ladies always got the grin with the wicked gleam.

Inside Mrs. Frazer’s shop, he continued his reckless flirting, and soon he had all the seamstresses giggling and batting their eyelashes. The women competed with each other to find the perfect fabric for the dress to be bought, but not one of them asked Penny, the one who would wear the dress.

No, they were all too busy flirting with the handsome gentleman who promised them everything with his twinkling eyes and fast smiles.

Penny was ushered farther and farther away from Rake until she stood in the back of the shop, desperately trying to hide the jealousy which was eating her. She hated that he had such power over her. It made her feel so small and petty. He was very much the confirmed bachelor and she
was
engaged to another man. He had every right to flirt with other women. But still…

She really didn’t like it.

To keep herself occupied with something else and not stand there fuming at Rake’s behavior, she went to the table where all the fabrics lay, turning her back to the commotion and letting her fingers play with the delicate materials.

“They’re so beautiful.” The young maid stood on the opposite side of the table, staring at the rich materials between them.

“Yes, they are. I don’t know how I’ll ever be able to choose only one.”

The maid let her hand lightly touch the nearest fabric, a thin pink muslin with small white flowers sewn over it. “So beautiful,” she whispered in awe, and Penny, who had grown up in a home which lacked funds, knew exactly how the girl felt.

It wasn’t envy, it was amazement at the luxury you never would be able to afford.

“What’s your name?”

To Penny’s surprise the maid froze, as if she had asked her to tell a terrible secret, not just a name.

“Mina.”

“Mina? How unusual. Is it a nickname?”

“No. It’s just Mina.”

Penny recognized the need of secrecy when she saw it and didn’t push further. She gave the maid an understanding smile. “Mina it is, then.”

The relief in Mina’s face was almost laughable, but Penny had no problem holding back a smile as all the women behind her giggled hysterically over something Rake had said.

Instead she muttered something inaudible about men and punching bags before pretending to again look at the fabrics which now had, in her eyes, lost all their earlier glory.

“He never takes his eyes off you.”

She met the compassionate eyes of Mina and knew she should set the maid straight: This was not the manner in which to address your superiors.

But something inside held her back. There was something about this maid that didn’t add up, and Penny knew there had to be a story here. The only problem was that Mina was one of the duchess’s personal maids, and she knew better than to question that particular lady or anyone she presented.

So she let the slight overstep pass and instead asked the question which burnt on her lips. “He doesn’t?”

“Not once. He flirts and laughs with all the women surrounding him, but his eyes never leave your person.”

“That’s nice.”

“Isn’t it?”

They shared a secretive smile, two young women in a small world where unspoken boundaries made a friendship impossible. They giggled as they moved into the next room of the shop—and out of Rake’s line of sight—where more tables held more colorful fabrics. Mirrors were placed in a corner, surrounding a small podium so fittings could be made in full overview.