Never Let Go (5 page)

Andrew wipes the water from his brow. When he looks at me, his eyes are shining. “So. How do you like frolf?”

I lean back into my seat and throw my arms up. “I love it.”

***

Andrew holds my hand the entire drive back. His thumb traces my fingers, sweeps over my knuckles. It makes me feel warm and tingly inside.

We blast the heat in an attempt to dry off. All of it goes to waste when Andrew parks his jeep and we’re forced to run across the lawn to my dorm’s entrance.

“I had fun with you tonight,” he says when we’re under cover of the eaves.

“Me, too.” I think it’s a shame that the night has to end early. But, I’m not as bold as Katy. Not even close. “Will I see you again?” I ask, suddenly shy.

“Of course. You have a cell?”

“Yeah.” I tell him my number. He punches it into his phone.

“All right, Paige.” Andrew turns around. “I’ll see you tomorrow?”

I nod. “Let’s do it.” He starts down the steps. “Andrew! Wait.”

He stops and turns back. “Yes?”

I offer a sultry smile. “Get back here.”

He bounds up to me. I’m flattened against the brick wall as he kisses me again. He’s strong but gentle at the same time.

I think I can get used to this. He’s so yummy.

Andrew pulls away. “I’ve got to go.”

“I know.”

“I’ll call you tomorrow,” he promises. “And I won’t stop thinking about you until then.”

I slap him on the arm. “Don’t make fun.”

“I’m serious.” He looks me right in the eye. “I don’t think I’ve ever met another girl like you.”

“One of these days, you’ve got to tell me what that means.”

He laughs. “All right. Tomorrow.
If
you behave.” He winks, turns around, and ducks his shoulder to keep the rain away as he runs to his Jeep.

I wave as he drives away.

***

“And where did you disappear to all day?” Katy asks when I open the door to our dorm. She’s flat on her back in the middle of the living room, holding Pickles above her head. He purrs as she swings him back and forth. “You missed some intense roomie bonding.”

“Oh, are the other girls here?” I ask, looking around.

“They were. For all of the five seconds it took them to recognize each other from high school. Turns out they were super enemies back then.”

I sit beside Katy on the floor. “That doesn’t sound good.”

“Actually, it turned out great.” Katy rolls over and sets Pickles down. “Both their dads came up here and had this huge fight. You should have seen it. I thought they’d start throwing fists.”

“How is that ‘great’?” I ask.

“Great for you and me,” Katy grins. “The other two girls couldn’t stand the sight of one another. They went to administration and
demanded
to be put in separate housing.”

I get a sinking feeling in my stomach. The only way I can afford to pay for this place is if we split rent four ways. “And?”

“And with their dads there, the school had no choice but to give in. Apparently they’re both big-shot alumni, or something.” Katy shrugs. “Either way, now you and I have the whole place to ourselves.” She reaches over and scratches Pickles between the ears. “Plus this cuddly guy.”

Blood drains from my head. I start to feel light-headed. I steady myself with a hand on the floor. “Katy, there’s no way I can afford to pay half of rent!”

She laughs. “No, you don’t get it. It’s not our fault, so our rate stays the same.”

My eyes widen. “What?”

Katy beams. “Yeah, sister! So it’s just me and you here all semester. It’s going to be great.”

***

“Rise and shine!” a too-cheery voice announces above me the next morning.

I open my eyes. Katy is beaming down at me. Sunlight streams in through the window.

“Ugh,” I groan, holding my head. “How is it that you’re up before me?”

“Dunno. But I do know if you stay in bed any longer, you’ll miss orientation.”

I sit up and set my feet on the floor. “Orientation?” I mumble.

“Yeah. All the freshmen get divided into groups by our dorms. Each group is assigned a peer leader. One of the upperclassmen. They show us around campus today, and then act as a liaison between us and the RAs all term.” She scratches her wrist and shrugs. “Part of the student council’s attempt to get us
‘integrated’
on campus.”

“How is it that you know so much about all this?” I ask.

“Haven’t I told you yet?”

I shake my head.

“I’m not really a freshman. Well, I am, but not like you. I was here last year. But I left halfway through first semester to, um, sort out some personal things.”

“So you’re a year older?” I ask.

“Yeah.”

“How come they put you back in the freshman dorms, then?”

“I never got any credits, so I came back with a clean slate. It’s like I was never here!” She winks. “But I know
tons
of things about campus life. So, you and I are on the inside track.”

“Heh. I’m glad I’ve got someone by my side who’s done all this before.”

“That you do,” Katy agrees. She takes my arm, pulls me up, and shoves me down the hall to the bathroom. “Now, hurry up! We don’t want to be late. Word is,
our
peer leader is a total hottie.”

***

Katy and I rush into a packed classroom ten minutes past eleven. Despite her familiarity with campus, we had a little bit of trouble finding it.

There’s an excited energy in the room. A ring of blue plastic chairs rims the outside. Most are taken. I spot two empty ones and point them out to Katy. We go and sit down.

“Hi,” an over-eager guy says beside me. “I’m Johnny.”

“Paige,” I reply, shaking his hand. “This is my roommate, Katy.”

“Nice to meet you,” he says to both of us. “I take it you’re both freshmen, too?”

“Well, technically…” I begin.

“WELCOME!”

Everyone’s attention snaps to the center of the room. A hush falls over the students. They start moving to their seats to carve out a space in the middle, where a tall man with light brown hair is holding up his arms.

“That’s him,” Katy hisses beside me. “He’s hot, just like I said, isn’t he?”

“How can you tell?” I whisper back. “All we can see is the back of his head!”

“Ahem. Once I make sure everyone’s here,” our peer leader says, “we can get started.”

“I can tell,” Katy assures me. “The way he has his shoulders pulled back is proof enough.”

“We’ll see,” I mutter.

The guy in the middle starts counting heads. His hand dips down slightly every time to acknowledge the count. “…eleven, twelve, thirteen…”

Something about his posture tickles the back of my mind. I don’t know what. I strain my head to the side, trying to get a look at his face. So far, I can’t see anything except his hair.

He turns slowly as he continues his count. “…twenty-four, twenty-five…”

Then I see the side of his face, and my breath catches.

It’s
Andrew
.

“Wow, what’d I tell you?” Katy chortles beside me. “Total dreamboat, right?”

“Yeah,” I say weakly.
Andrew
is here?

Katy looks at me sideways. “What’s wrong with you?”

“Nothing.”

“Well, look sharp!” she alerts me, sitting up straight in her chair. “He’s getting to us.”

Andrew’s forefinger bobs up and down as he continues his count. He gets to me and Katy. Our eyes meet. A look of complete and utter shock flashes across his face.

“Oooh, he likes you,” Katy whispers once he has moved on. “Did you see the way he choked up when he saw you?” She clicks her tongue. “Too bad it’s against the rules to get involved with your peer leader.”

I turn on her. “
What
?”

She looks at me funny. “Yeah, like,
duh
. The RAs don’t want peer leaders having favorites. They’re supposed to be, um, ‘impartial advisors,’ as the student council calls them. Being romantically involved? Total no-no.” She winks. “Otherwise, half the girls in here would have jumped him already.”

Andrew starts saying something in the middle of the room. I don’t hear a word. Katy’s words ring hollow in my ears.
Total no-no.

Andrew makes us go around the room and say our names, one by one. Katy has to nudge me when it’s my turn. “Paige,” I offer, lifeless. I feel numb inside.

Andrew doesn’t look at me once during the meeting. There’s only one reason for that: He
knows
. He
knows
we cannot be together. All because of some stupid rule. It’s not fair. Just when I come across the first good thing in my life, it gets snatched away.

The orientation meeting wraps up. People start filing out of the room. I get up and try to blend in with them.

“Paige.”

I freeze. Other students rustle by me. A few give me odd looks for holding up the line.

I turn in the direction of Andrew’s voice. He’s leaning against the wall, both hands in his pockets. He doesn’t look very happy. “Can I speak with you for a minute?”

Katy catches the exchange. She nudges me with her shoulder as she passes. “Go get ‘em, tiger.”

I walk stiffly to Andrew, keeping my eyes on the ground. I want to look anywhere but at him.

He waits until the final student leaves before walking over and closing the door. When it’s just the two of us, he exhales loudly.

“You know.”

“My roommate told me.” I still don’t look at him. “And your reaction confirmed it.”

He walks up to me, stopping about a foot away. Even like that, it feels like he’s too close. “I can’t change the rules, Paige.”

“I don’t expect you to.” I shuffle my feet. “Can I go now?”

“What? No, Paige. Look at me!”

He startles me into looking up. I’m surprised to find turmoil boiling in his eyes. I didn’t think it’d be there.

“Listen, I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t disappointed.” He runs a hand through his hair. “I nearly lost it when I saw you sitting there. I just never would have though… I mean, thirty-three hundred freshman matriculated this year. What are the odds you’d end up assigned to
my
group?”

He looks at me as if expecting an answer. I don’t have any.

“I need this job, Paige,” he continues after the pause. “And the administration is tough when it comes to things like this. They make it very clear what will happen if they catch you in a relationship.” He exhales heavily. “I need the employment more than you can believe. The hours are flexible. I get subsidized on-campus housing. If it wasn’t for that—”

“I get it,” I say, cutting him off. “You don’t need to defend yourself to me. Your responsibilities obviously come first.”

He gives an uneasy chuckle. “If I had any other choice, Paige… I wasn’t lying when I said I wouldn’t be able to stop thinking about you. I still haven’t.”

“Looks like you’re going to have to figure out some way to do that,” I grumble. I hate how sour I sound. The tension between us is palpable.

Andrew looks around the room. “Well, at least we found out early,” he says. “Before things progressed too far. Right?”

“Right,” I agree. I’ve faced tougher obstacles in the past. I can recover.

I just didn’t think I’d need to do it this early.

Andrew exhales again. “So we’re both on the same page?”

“Totally. I’ll just pretend yesterday never happened.”

Andrew cringes. “You don’t have to do that. Maybe we can still be friends.”

“Maybe,” I sigh. The
last
thing I want is to transition into an awkward friendship with Andrew. Better to just heal and move on.

“Okay.” Andrew picks up his bag and slings it over his shoulder. “Thank you for understanding, Paige. I really appreciate it.”

Chapter Six

Katy is waiting for me outside. She grabs my arm and starts to whisper something in my ear. Then she notices Andrew and goes quiet.

He nods at her as he passes. He does not look at me.

When we’re alone again, Katy looks somewhat anxious. “So? What was that all about?”

I shake my head. “Nothing.” Andrew has already disappeared from view. “You want to get something to eat?”

“Obviously it wasn’t ‘nothing’. You look like you just found out your cat got run over by a truck.” She pauses. “No offense to Pickles.”

“None taken.” I smile to make her feel better. “Really, nothing happened.”

“Why’d he want to talk to you? Hell, how’d he even remember your name? There were at least fifty other kids in there with us.”

I shrug. “He’s got a good memory, I suppose.”

“You’re not telling me something, Paige.” Katy purses her lips and looks me up and down. Then her eyes widen. “Oh my God. He’s not…” she lowers her voice, “…the mysterious guy you spent all day with yesterday, is he?”

I blink in surprise. “How on earth did you figure that out?”

Katy taps the side of her head. “Hey, I got in for a reason, eh? I’m not just some vapid blond.” She tugs at her roots. “No matter what my hair seems to imply.”

Despite my mood, I laugh a little. “You said ‘eh’.”

Katy looks surprised to hear it. Then she smiles. “Well, I told you I’m from Canada. I’ve got to make my country proud.” She tilts her head in the direction Andrew went. “I’m right, aren’t I? He took you out yesterday.”

I give a despondent sigh, then nod. Katy slips her arm through mine and leads us out of the building. “That sucks. But I know just the place we can get you a little pick-me-up.”

***

“You should just forget about him,” Katy advises. We’re sitting at an open-street café, sipping two cold Frappuccino’s. The bright sun overhead gives no indication that there had been a rainstorm less than twelve hours ago. “The way you made it sound, he didn’t even try to fight for you. A guy like that isn’t worth your time.”

“You’re probably right,” I concede. “Rules are rules, right?”

“Yeah. And Andrew sounds like he’s a stickler for them. He might have a good face, but otherwise he’s probably as exciting as a stack of hay.”