Never Let Me Go (22 page)

I sighed, looking away from him. “I guess we were both wrong, then, weren’t we?”

He nodded solemnly. I doubt even
he
could disagree with that.

I reached behind me and removed his hands from their place on my lower back. I stepped backward and placed my head in my hands.

When I peeked up from the light between my fingers, I could see that he hadn’t advanced upon me. Smart boy. I’d trained him well.

I needed…Hell, I wasn’t sure what I needed outside of space. I just needed space from him. That was
exactly
what I’d escaped to Big Springs for, and even then, he’d found a way back into my heart.

Damn you, heart.

“Brody, I know I promised to give you a chance, but you have to know I’m going to lay down some ground rules,” I warned, holding my hand out so that he wouldn’t come toward me.

If given the chance, Brody would pull me into his arms and kiss me into the end of the night. Then, I’ll have cheated on Hayden, gone back on my promise to myself,
and
given Brody exactly what he wanted all in one simple movement.

I couldn’t do that. Not to Hayden, and definitely not to myself.

“You’re not allowed to kiss me.” Brody’s hands went up into the air, and he kicked a chair, but I couldn’t give in and pay attention to his temper tantrum. “We’re not together.
Hayden
and I are together. You’ve already kissed me once, and you’re lucky you got even
that
much without getting decked. But you’re not allowed to kiss me unless—and
only
unless—I initiate it. This weeks’ worth of dates
has
to be contingent on my plans with Hayden—
if
he approves of this. You have to work around our schedule, because I’ve promised myself to him this summer, not you. And when we’re at home—unless we’re on a date at the house—I
really
need you to keep your distance. This was supposed to be my vacation.” I paused, looking up to gauge his reaction to everything I’d said so far. “And last but not least: no more showing up at my job.”

He nodded, but he didn’t say anything in response.

Accepting that as his answer to all I’d said, I walked back over to him and resumed my position atop his feet. I wrapped my hands around his neck once more, and he scooped me up in his arms. I rested my head against his chest, feeling like I was fifteen again, in the arms of the boy I loved, wishing that he would love me back.

“I’ve missed this,” Brody mused, finally breaking the silence as our song played in the background. “I missed the feeling of having you in my arms, of having your touch against my skin. I was stupid to have let it go so willingly.” He sighed, dropping his head so that our foreheads were touching and he gazed directly into my eyes. “If I haven’t said it before, I’m so incredibly sorry that I broke your heart. And no matter who you choose at the end of the summer, Mich, I’m going to spend the rest of my life trying to make it up to you.”

I sighed, choking back a sob at his sweet words.

“I wish you could feel what those words just did to my heart,” I whispered.

He nodded, as if he knew exactly what I was talking about. “I wish you could feel what those lips of yours are doing to mine.” He paused, closing his eyes. “You’ve no idea how badly I want to kiss you right now.”

I shook my head frantically. “Don’t. If you do, I might not be able to stop you.”

“Well, in that case…” He gave me a huge smirk and descended upon me.

I shook my head and jerked away involuntarily, as though his touch was enough to burn me. Wasn’t it, though?

He set me firmly on the ground, and the minute he did, I turned my back on him, crossing my arms around my middle. I bent double, gasping for air as my heart started beating on overdrive.

I placed my hands on my knees, trying to steady myself and my breathing. I was shaking from head to toe from a bizarre mixture of fear, love, anger, and longing. What was worse though, was that my heart was telling me that by simply being there with Brody, I was betraying Hayden.

No. I couldn’t betray Hayden. I had to talk to him about all of this, and even before that, I had to get out of here. I couldn’t be in Brody’s presence with all of this lingering tension in the air.

“I think I’d like to go now,” I murmured, my voice barely above a whisper.

Brody nodded, taking my elbow and pulling me so that I was flush against his side. His arm wrapped around my waist. “Okay, Mich. Let’s go home.”

I shook my head and looked up at him.

“I’m not going home. Not tonight. I’m going to spend the night with Hayden.”

I watched in helpless despair as Brody’s face contorted into an expression of pure, unadulterated despair. His eyes squinted in the corners and a wrinkle formed between his brows.

“But you were just on a date with
me
.” The hurt in his eyes was undeniable, but his tone was critical.

“I don’t owe you an explanation, Brody. But I
do
owe him one.”

With that, I walked over to my seat and grabbed my purse. I laced my arm through it and then picked up my wildflowers. I held my hand out to Brody who took it reluctantly, but still took it nonetheless. He led me outside, and nodded solemnly to Rory, who awaited us outside.

Rory opened the door for me, and Brody helped me in, but we were silent the entire drive.

I was in for an
extremely
interesting rest of the summer.

…

Once Brody was dropped back off at the Westwick estate, I’d texted Hayden and told him I needed to talk with him. Rory waited patiently outside while I went inside to gather pajamas and clothes for the following day, and then he’d taken me to Hayden’s.

I wasn’t even sure how I was going to talk about this shitstorm with Hayden, but I knew it had to be done. Sure, we hadn’t even officially been together long enough for my girlfriend necklace to turn my neck green, but that didn’t mean what we had meant less to me than what I had with Brody.

We were moving quickly, Hayden and I, but I couldn’t deny I was feeling something with him that I’d never felt with Brody, and that meant I owed him an explanation, no matter how ugly or uncomfortable it felt for me.

I was walking up the steps to Hayden’s house when the door jerked open and Skylar came barreling out of it. She raced toward me and leaped into my arms, wrapping her arms around my neck.

I inhaled her sweet scent—she was a girly girl and had an entire collection of Bath and Body Works goodies atop her the dresser in her room—and smiled. I’d missed her so much while we were apart, and that was considering that we hadn’t even been apart very long.

“Hi, cutie! Why aren’t you in bed?” I squeezed her in a hug and carried her inside the house.

“Daddy said I could stay up ‘til you got here so I could say ‘night to you!” she exclaimed, reaching out and closing the door behind us.

She held onto me with all her might, giggling as I ran my fingers lightly up her side.

Right inside the house, Hayden sat on the couch, shirtless and wearing a pair of flannel pants, his left leg crossed over the right one. I had to take a few steadying breaths after the initial sight of him stirred desire deep within me. He looked absolutely delectable, and it took all my strength to keep from setting his daughter down and throwing myself at him.

“Daddy, look, it’s my Michele!” Skylar’s voice was high-pitched as she squealed at her father.

Hayden stood up, strolling over to me and lacing an arm around my waist. He placed his other hand at the nape of my neck, planting a kiss on my temple and closing his eyes.

“Hi, love,” he said, grinning as he pulled away from me.

I flushed, getting on my tiptoes and kissing his cheek. “Hey.”

I couldn’t explain how it felt to be in Hayden’s presence. When I was with Brody mere minutes before, I felt like the entire world was on fire. It was like my emotions were on high alert. With Hayden, I was calm, cool, and collected. Everything was smooth and slow, and I wanted to cherish every moment with him and etch each second with him in my memory.

“Sky, it’s time for bed, sweetie.” Hayden kissed his daughter on the forehead, and made a move to take her from me, but I pulled back.

“I can go tuck her in,” I offered.

He blinked and raised an eyebrow, but he didn’t say anything.

I knew the suggestion had probably come out of nowhere, but I wanted to be involved with Skylar. I didn’t know where our relationship was going to go, but I would
never
know if I didn’t give every aspect of our relationship a chance.

“Are you sure?” His expression was one of pure skepticism. I almost laughed at that, but I held my tongue.

“Yeah. I’m happy to do it. I’ll be back.” I looked down at Skylar, whose head was resting against my shoulder. “You ready to go upstairs, cutie?”

She nodded wordlessly, and I flashed Hayden a grin. We walked upstairs, and Skylar held her hand up, pushing the door to her bedroom open. I hadn’t gotten a good enough glimpse of it the last time I’d been up there, but her room was a
total
girl’s room. It was painted a pastel blue with clouds on the ceiling. Her bedspread was white with periwinkle flowers, and she had a green ruffled bed skirt. Her bed had been accentuated with floral decorative pillows, and she had a single stuffed teddy monkey sitting against her pillow.

Her dresser was lined with perfumes, lotions, what looked like mall photobooth strips with nearly everyone: her aunts, Lizzie and Livie, her cousins, her mom and her baby sister, I assumed, Summer, and even her dad.

I set Skylar down on the floor and she pulled her bedspread back, climbing onto the bed and clutching her teddy bear against her chest. Her eyelids were already drooping from exhaustion, and she smiled sleepily up at me.

I grabbed the edge of the bedspread, pulling it up to her chin, and tucking the edges in around her. She wiggled a bit—I assumed to get comfortable, and she reached up to give me a hug. I leaned forward and hugged her back, giving her a kiss on the top of her head.

“Good night, cutie,” I said, blowing her a kiss as I walked away.

I turned on her night light and then turned the light off. I walked to the door, and was ready to close it when I heard her little sleepy voice say, “Michele?”

I pivoted around to face her. “Yeah, Sky?”

She gave a huge yawn and outstretched her arms, then let them drop to her sides. “I love you.”

I slapped my hand over my mouth to conceal my initial shock, then I dropped it and whispered back, “I love you, too.”

I trudged back downstairs, not quite sure how to react after what Skylar and I had just said to each other. I’d always been warned by Nickayla’s twin brother how hard it was being a single dad, because you had to be careful with your kid. Kids got attached even quicker than adults did, and that made breakups and fallings out even tougher.

I decided it was in everyone’s best interest for me not to tell Hayden what had happened upstairs, because I didn’t want him to be upset with me. Besides, I was 100% positive I wasn’t going to break that little girl’s heart.

Back downstairs, Hayden had gotten up to grab the both of us bottled Cokes, and he was waiting on the couch for me.

I kicked off my shoes as I made my way over to the couch and crossed my legs Indian style, placing a pillow in my lap since I was still wearing a dress.

“Hey, you,” Hayden said, smiling. “Did she go to sleep okay?”

I nodded. “Yep. She’s out like a light. She was asleep before I even turned her nightlight on.”

He chuckled, placing his Coke on the coffee table and uncrossed his legs. He scooted forward so his chest was up against my back, and he gingerly pulled me close so I was leaning against him.

“How did your dinner with Brody go?” he asked, kissing my neck.

Fuck. He didn’t waste
any
time, did he?

“It went as well as expected.” I tilted my head backward and looked up at him. “Actually, I need to talk to you about that.”

Chapter Fifteen

His eyes didn’t leave mine for an entire twenty minutes. His hands remained wrapped around me and his mouth was agape as he waited for what I needed to tell him. When I didn’t speak, he grabbed my hips and urged me to turn around and face him.

I never knew one kiss could change everything. That it could take my entire world and knock it completely off its axis, or that it could make me question everything that I thought I knew. I never knew the
right
kiss could set my entire world alight, and then dim it all at the same exact time.

When Hayden’s hand reached behind my back and pulled me toward him, I didn’t know. When our faces were merely centimeters away from each other, his breath warm against my lips as we pondered whether or not to bridge the gap between us with a kiss, and seal our union, I didn’t know. When the thumb of his left hand came up the side of my face to tuck a tendril of hair behind my ear and to graze the side of my check, I still didn’t know.