Never Let Me Go (19 page)

He inhaled sharply, closing his eyes as I leaned forward. Our foreheads rested against each other and I raised my hand to his chest, reveling in the feel of his heartbeat beneath my palm.

He groaned, put he pulled me closer anyway. His breath was sweet against my lips, and all I could think was that I needed to close the gap between us
desperately
. He kept his eyes closed, and his breathing became labored and heavy. His hand tightened around my shirt, bunching it up between his fingers and showing a sliver of my stomach. He opened his eyes a bit and gazed down at me hungrily before snapping them shut once more. He shook his head and then leaned forward, and his lips were on mine for a nanosecond and were gone just as quickly. A whimper escaped my lips and I silently cursed him for doing that to me, for giving me even the tiniest taste and then pulling away before I could truly appreciate it. I sighed with discontent, pulling at the tufts of hair at the back of his head in frustration.

“You don’t play fair.” I could feel the desire rising within me, the feelings so strong that tears sprung to my eyes. The never-ending battle within me raged on. I argued between wanting him more than I could even fathom and wanting to punch him for what he’d just done. “That wasn’t very nice.”

My breath caught in my throat as he took the outer corner of his bottom lip between his teeth and chewed it nervously. “Michele,” he breathed, still chewing his lip, “we are not going to have our first kiss at the Putt-Putt Emporium.”

I stepped back, turning around and backing into his sturdy frame as I took in our surroundings. He buried his face in my hair and splayed his palm across my stomach as he held me against him. I slapped a hand over my mouth as a fit of giggles erupted from within me.

God, what was he
doing
to me?

I buried my face in my hands, pretty sure that it was flushed from embarrassment, as Hayden took me by the elbows and turned me around, guiding my face toward his chest. He cradled me gently as I giggled and cried and tried to decipher every single one of the million emotions that were coursing through my head and my heart. He didn’t speak; he merely held me and occasionally ran his fingers through my hair as I attempted to get my emotions back in check.

“Michele, this is probably the least romantic place or time to do this, but I think we should talk about what happens next,” Hayden whispered. I pulled away from his embrace and gazed up at him through tear-filled eyes. The minute he caught how upset I was, it was like he broke, and he wiped my tears away gingerly, one by one. “Aw, Mich, why are you crying?”

I shook my head, knowing that I probably looked a hot ass mess. “I don’t know. You’ve got me all up in knots.”

He laughed, and I could tell that he was feeling the same way.

“I need to tell you something that I’ve been dying to tell you for quite some time now,” he said.

I nodded, waiting to hear what it was that he wanted to say.

I could only imagine what was going through his head at that moment. What we were doing, what we were feeling, was so new to the both of us.

“Let me just rip the Band-Aid, since I know you prefer things that way. I like you, Michele. I like you a lot, probably more than I should right now. But I like you so much I can’t even explain it. I don’t want to keep doing this with you. I don’t want to go on dates with you and not kiss you at the end of the night. I don’t want to keep introducing you as my friend. We both know you’re so much more than that. We both know that whatever this is, it’s not friendship. So right now, right here, in the middle of Putt-Putt Emporium, with my daughter liable to show up
any second now
and ruin the moment, I’m putting it all out there. All cards on the table, Mich. I want you to be with me, and only me. I want to be the one you call when something’s wrong, and the one you come to when everything’s right. I want to be yours, and I want you to be mine—and Skylar’s. I know this is silly, and it’s just some stupid plastic necklace that I redeemed my arcade tickets for, but I want this to be a token—I want this to be a symbol of the start.”

Breathe, Michele
, I told myself.
Inhale, exhale. Inhale, exhale.

I took a deep breath, trying to steady myself, and met his gaze. “The start of what?”

Even before the words left his mouth, even before he could answer or explain, I knew what his response was going to be. I knew it, and I knew what I wanted once the words left his mouth. I just
desperately
needed to hear him say it. I needed him to claim me, right there, face to face, and tell me exactly what he wanted.

I craved him. I craved his attention, his affection, and his title, whatever it may be. I wanted him.

“The start of us.” His breathing was slow and steady as he turned me around and fastened the thin necklace around my neck. “Just say yes.”

It came out rushed and breathy, but I gave him what he asked for. “Yes.”

He rested his hand on my chest, atop the necklace, and I twirled on my toes to face him once more. The expression in his eyes was one of pure adoration, one that had
never
been directed at me before that very moment. “Someday soon, I’m going to get you a real necklace—something worthy of hanging there on your neck.”

I shook my head, fingering the small heart-shaped charm with a stupid grin on my face. “Don’t you
dare
; I love this one. It’s perfect.”

He kissed me on the cheek, and I flushed. “Okay. For now.”

…

Brave, The Avengers, and The Perks of Being a Wallflower were the movies that we’d rented on Redbox. We’d left the Emporium at exactly the time that we’d planned. Skylar had left with us—albeit reluctantly—and we’d letter her pick two out of the three movies.

I’d promised to cook, and I had. I’d borrowed Colin’s spaghetti recipe and made two batches—one with the spicy Italian sausage and one without for Sky—and we’d just finished dinner.

I knew that I was going to spend the night when I planned our outing. We were all already in our pajamas.

I had thought that Hayden was incredibly good-looking from the get-go, but I had seriously underestimated how good that boy looked with barely any clothes on. I had seen him shirtless, of course, but there was something about the way that he looked when he first got out of the shower after dinner, a wife beater hugging his chest and abs, a pair of flannel pajama pants hanging dangerously low on his hips, and his auburn hair shaggy, wet, and glistening from the water as he strolled casually over to me and dragged me up the stairs.

While Hayden had showered, Skylar and I had set up a fort of blankets, sheets, and pillows so that we could lie on the floor of her bedroom while we watched movies. She insisted that I lay on one side of her and that Hayden lay on the opposite side, and she’d given me her favorite stuffed animal, Bubby.

“Daddy, press play already! I want to see this movie!” Skylar exclaimed, nudging Hayden and handing him the remote.

Hayden turned to his daughter and gave her a stern expression, his eyes narrowing. “Don’t be rude, Skylar Rose. I’m not going to warn you again about that mouth of yours.”

Skylar huffed, crossing her arms in front of her. “But Josslyn gets to say stuff like that whenever she wants! And Travis too!”

Oh, boy. I knew exactly what was coming after she said that. The worst thing that any kid could ever do was compare what other kids were able to get away with.

Hayden sat up, pressed pause on the movie and turned to face his daughter with The Look on his face. Oh, shit. If she didn’t backtrack soon, she was
in
for it. I knew The Look all too well—I’d been the main one of all my siblings to get it regularly.

“Skylar Rose Jax,
watch yourself
,” he warned, and the suppressed anger in his voice even gave
me
chills. “Am I Josslyn and Travis’s dad?”

Sky shook her head, her eyes filling with tears.

“Answer me, Skylar.” His tone was biting, and I felt uncomfortable watching him reprimand her.

“No. You’re my dad,” she croaked, her cheeks flushing scarlet.

He took her hands in his and moved so that his face was mere inches away from hers. “Exactly. I don’t care how Josie and Travis act, or what they do or say to their parents. You’re
my
daughter and what
I
say goes.” He paused for a moment. “The next time you speak to me like that, I’m going to cancel one of your play dates with your cousins. So you behave and watch your mouth, or else. Do you understand me?”

She nodded, and I exhaled as relief flooded me. I hated watching young kids get lectured and reprimanded in front of me, but I had to admit that I liked Hayden’s parenting style. Still, doesn’t mean I liked watching it.

“Michele, could you press play please?” he asked, getting up and grabbing the snacks that were on the top of Skylar’s dresser. He sat back down but this time, he was beside me. He wrapped his arms around me and I nestled myself against his chest. “Was that uncomfortable for you?”

I shook my head. “No. You’re a good dad, Hayden.”

He grinned, kissing the top of my head and held me tighter. “You know something? Everyone in my life—Sam, my parents, my siblings, my friends—calls me HJ. You’re the only one who calls me Hayden.”

“Should
I
start calling you HJ?”

“Nope. I love that you’re the only one who doesn’t call me that. It’s like we’re our own little club.”

I smiled, then turned my attention to the screen.

I was excited to watch Brave with Skylar. Nic and I had showed it to her nieces back in Harlow, and we loved the way that that particular movie had a better storyline than a princess waiting around for a prince to save her. Merida was my favorite princess so far, and I was pretty partial to the fact that Julie Walters voices Merida’s mother in the movie.

Sky laughed at something that happened in the movie, her entire body shaking and her little giggles echoing around the room. She laughed uncontrollably, smacking her legs with one hand and grabbing popcorn with the other. The sight of her enjoying herself so much made me laugh too, and when she finished laughing, she stood up and clambered into my lap, wrapping her arms around my neck and smiling.

“I wish my Mommy and my Kynlee was here,” she whispered against my neck. “Then all the people I love would be here.”

I smiled, my heart racing at the realization that the small girl had just admitted that she loved me too, and she didn’t even know me yet.

“Maybe next time, cutie,” I said over her head, meeting Hayden’s gaze. “Right, Hayden?”

“Right.” He kissed his daughter on the forehead, and I could hear her breathing slow, like she was falling asleep, so I laid down and set her down beside me. She kept her arms wrapped around my neck as she rested her head against me and closed her eyes. Her hands found my ears, and she grabbed them, tugging them lightly and sighing with contentment.

“Sorry,” Hayden whispered. “That’s the only way she’ll sleep in someone’s arms.”

I nodded, letting him know that I’d heard him. I grabbed the blanket with one of my free hands and pulled it over the both of us when I thought that Skylar was asleep. I pushed her hair out of her face, and I heard her sigh again.

“My Mommy and my Kynlee would like Michele.” Her voice was groggy and low, so I was sure that I was the only one who heard her.

I beamed up at Hayden as he said, “Yeah, I think so, too.”

Chapter Thirteen

I untied my apron and stuffed it in my locker.

It had been a long day, and to top things off, I had to stay an extra hour due to being short-staffed. I still had about ten minutes left of work before I could clock out, and I was at my wit’s end.

We were normally busy only for two hours around the lunch rush, but today, it’d been lunch rush busy from the moment I walked through the door. Even more was the fact that Mel and I weren’t the only servers there. Regan, Mercy, Cara, and Kevin were all there, most of them called in on their off day to help us get through the day.

“Michele, Old Man Jenkins is getting rowdy again. He knows you’re busy but he refuses to be served by anyone but you,” Regan said, her eyebrows furrowed together and beads of sweat lining her forehead. “I’ll cover your section if you take care of him. He’s been here for thirty minutes already!”

I nodded, patting her shoulder and pulling out my order pad.

Every single table was occupied, and there were at least three families waiting to be seated. The bar was nearly full, with only three stools available. If us servers felt overwhelmed, I hated to imagine what the cooks were feeling.

I approached Old Man Jenkins at his usual table—in the front corner of the diner, facing the rest of the Square head on—and gave him my best smile. He was drumming his fingers with impatience, but the moment he saw me, his face lit up and he stopped. I breathed a sigh of relief.

“What can I get you Mr. Jenkins?” I asked, scribbling down his drink. “I’m sorry about the delay. If I’d known that you wanted to be served by me, I would have served you from the start.”