Never Say Goodbye (49 page)

‘Wow, look at you,’ Jeff had exclaimed earlier when he’d come into the bedroom to check if she was dressed yet. ‘Apart from our Lily you’re going to be the most beautiful woman there.’

Josie had glowed. He hadn’t given her compliments like that in so long she could barely remember the last, and she’d been able to tell from the way he was looking at her that in spite of how thin and haunted she was, he’d really meant it.

She had so much to thank Bel for, including this very elegant pale blue silk dress with matching shoes, along with a wig that was so like her own hair even she could hardly tell the difference. They’d bought it the day they’d gone to London for her to be measured up for the fashion show. Bel had known about the shop because it was where her sister had bought her wig, and talk about expensive! Josie was still waiting for the NHS to refund some of it so she could pay Bel back; meantime she was donating five pounds a week from her benefits to Breast Cancer Care, since Bel was refusing to take the money.

Her own hair had started growing back over the last few weeks, but it wasn’t very long and though she quite liked the pixie cut, as Bel called it, she’d wanted to look more her old self for the wedding. After all, Lily was going to be looking back on the photos in years to come, and it wouldn’t be very nice for her to be reminded every time she did that her mother had had cancer.

Everyone was now singing ‘And Did Those Feet’, one of the hymns she and Jeff had chosen for their wedding. How long ago that seemed, and yet it could almost have been yesterday. Glancing across the aisle she saw Miriam taking a peek her way, and they both smiled. Apparently Miriam and Richard had had the same hymn at their wedding, which was why Lily and Jasper had chosen it, to please both sets of parents.

Feeling her mother nudging her, Josie turned to see what she wanted.

‘Got a tissue?’ Eileen whispered through her tears.

Digging into her purse for the Kleenex, Josie passed one over and touched a hand to her fascinator to make sure it was straight. She’d never before worn such a pretty outfit, apart from her own wedding dress and veil which she’d bought, at great expense, from a bridal boutique in Exeter. She’d had it cut up later to make a christening gown for her children, which was what Lily had said she was going to do with hers when the time came.

Lily’s dress was an absolute dream. She looked like a princess or a movie star in the glittering waterfall of lace and silk that hugged her slender frame to the knees and fishtailed with a lavish swish around her ankles. It had cost a packet but was worth every penny of the fifteen hundred pounds Jeff had given her to pay for it. Quite where he’d got the money from Josie still didn’t know, but she had a suspicion he’d borrowed it from her cousin, Steve, who was never short of a bob or two.

The hymn was so rousing everyone was singing their hearts out, even those who hadn’t been invited but had made their way to the church anyway, eager to watch Lily Clark arrive on her dad’s arm, and leave with her handsome new husband. Steve was their chauffeur, having talked someone into lending him a Rolls-Royce for the day, and Bob, from the karaoke bar, had driven the four bridesmaids in his nearly new Honda Hybrid. Josie, Eileen and Carly were travelling with Bel, who’d picked them up in her brother-in-law’s BMW because, she’d decided, it was more appropriate for them to arrive in a saloon car than an estate, even if it was a Mercedes.

Bel was sitting in the row behind looking an absolute treat in her tangerine dress with its lacy drop waist and low-cut back, like someone out of the twenties. Everyone had turned to look at her when she’d arrived at the church. Being so tall and obviously sophisticated, it was only natural she’d turn heads, but she hadn’t seemed to notice. Sitting in the same row were some of the bridesmaids’ relatives, most of whom had known Lily since she was born. Three of the bridesmaids were Lily’s friends from school; the fourth was Elodie, Jasper’s fourteen-year-old sister. Such a pretty name that, Elodie. It was French, apparently, because that was where she’d been conceived.

Experiencing a sharp twinge in her upper arm Josie gave it a gentle rub, as if telling it not to worry, she’d take some more painkillers soon. She was taking bisphosphonates now, so was having to get used to their side effects, but on the whole they weren’t too bad, at least not so far. Even if they got worse it didn’t matter, she’d cope, and she definitely wasn’t going to worry about it today.

Another wave of happiness swept over her as she and Jeff were invited to come forward to sign the register.

‘Are you all right, Mum?’ Lily whispered, as they arrived in the vestry.

Surprised, Josie said, ‘Of course. Don’t I look it?’

Lily laughed. ‘Actually, you look so happy I was wondering if you might be on something, then I remembered you are.’

Josie laughed too, and felt the next few minutes trickling over her like sunshine as she added her name to Jeff’s and ignored the stiffness in the small of her back. It didn’t hurt too badly, thank goodness, because that was definitely the worst of the pain when it got going. Apparently she’d have to be careful in the future about spinal collapse, but that was still a long way off and right now she was too wrapped up in the utter bliss of the moment to care.

‘Are you all right?’ Eileen asked, as she edged in next to Josie for the family-group shot.

‘Why does everyone keep asking me that?’ Josie wanted to know.

‘OK, no need to bite my head off,’ Eileen grumbled, ‘I was just making sure.’

‘Sorry,’ Josie whispered, and tucking her purse under her arm she reached for her mother’s hand.

‘What’s all that about?’ Eileen protested, pulling her hand free.

Remembering they didn’t do lovey-dovey, Josie said, ‘I just thought it might be nice for once.’

‘Daft old sod,’ Eileen muttered, but a moment later Josie felt her hand being taken. ‘Glad you’re over all that nonsense now,’ Eileen whispered, ‘did my head in good and proper it did, thinking of you with all that going on inside you.’

Smiling into the lens, Josie squeezed her mother’s hand and leaned in a little closer to Jeff. Nothing was going to spoil today, not even the fact that Ryan would never feature in the shots of his sister’s wedding. What a sweet boy he was, the way he’d kept insisting that Lily shouldn’t change anything for him.

‘Everyone looks so gorgeous,’ Bel commented, as the bridesmaids, in their purple satin halter necks and glittering hair pieces, grouped around the bride.

‘Isn’t it the most perfect day?’ Josie beamed, gazing out at the sparkling waters of the bay and pristine blue sky.

‘You’ve done her proud,’ Bel responded.

‘She did most of it herself, and the rest was down to you,’ Josie reminded her.

Smiling softly as she touched a hand to Josie’s cheek, Bel said, ‘I used to think I had the world’s best mum, but now I know that Lily does.’

Surprised by this rare mention of her mother, Josie rolled her eyes, but before she could comment, Bel went on, ‘I’m going to head back to the house now, make sure things are ready for when everyone arrives.’

Since it had already been arranged for Miriam and Richard to take Josie and Jeff to Stillwater in their car, Josie said, ‘I guess it’s a bit late now to ask if you’re sure about hosting it, but remember, you were warned. Everyone might be on their best behaviour now, but heaven only knows what they’ll be like when they’ve got a few drinks inside them.’

It was close to nine in the evening by now, the sun was setting in a golden blaze over Westleigh Bay and Bel couldn’t imagine how the day could have gone more perfectly. In spite of Josie and Jeff’s concerns everyone had been on their best behaviour, at least up to now. Jeff had made her smile, however, a few minutes ago with a reminder that the night was still young, so he’d be keeping a close eye on the likeliest candidates for shame and disgrace as the music got going.

The garden looked spectacular, thanks in part to having no need of the marquee, also to Kristina’s management of the caterers who’d arranged everything beautifully. In all there were fourteen round tables full of guests, and one long top table for the wedding party, each covered in starched white linen with exquisite orchid and lily arrangements at the centre, and silver and glassware glinting like jewels in the evening sun. It wouldn’t be long now before Kristina and Nick began lighting the candles they’d spread about the lawns and terrace, and Bob from Chanter Lysee was already setting up his station for some interactive entertainment, as he liked to call it. Until now the music had been provided by a harpist Lily had met at a friend’s wedding, and Jasper’s cousin, a gifted flautist.

Since it was a special occasion Oscar and Nell were being allowed to stay up late, though Bel could see that after all the excitement and crafty sips of wine they were beginning to struggle. Once she’d have whispered to Nick that it was time to start taking them up, but that was Kristina’s role now and Bel had to admit she was playing it well. Watching her and Nick finding their way back to each other over the last couple of months had occasionally made her ache inside, as she saw the happy family evolving without Talia at the heart of it.

‘It’s not that anyone’s forgotten her,’ Nick had promised during one of their rare heart-to-hearts, ‘that’s never going to happen, but we can’t go back. We can only go forward.’

He was right, of course, and though she might not be settling into this new situation as quickly as he was, she felt glad for him that his counselling was evidently helping so much.

Besides, the alternative, of watching him and Kristina break up, wasn’t one she wanted even to consider, especially when she cared for Nick so deeply – and when her friendship with Kristina was starting to put down roots. The most difficult part was stepping back from the children, but hopefully she was doing it gradually enough for them not to notice too much. And it wasn’t as though she was being shut out of the family in any way. Far from it, as Nick and Kristina were careful to include her on all sorts of weekend jaunts, school sports days, visits to the zoo, and donkey rides on the beach. The greatest treat for everyone was sailing with Harry and his sons.

‘More wine?’ Harry asked.

Turning to find him with the bottle poised over her glass, she smiled and nodded. Though they didn’t see each other often, his friendship had already come to mean a great deal to her, and she felt sure it was special for him too. He’d been the first to turn up with champagne the day she’d completed on the barn – for her original offer after the other buyer pulled out – and along with his cousins Semeena and Joel she’d helped him move into his mother’s new apartment. He was so easy-going, undemanding and full of fun in ways that could make her laugh with a light-heartedness she hadn’t known for too long. It was also thanks to him, now the summer was upon them, that her terrace was becoming a popular place to meet for drinks at the end of a busy day as the sun went down.

‘Have you chosen your karaoke songs yet?’ he asked, sitting back in his chair to see her better. He was looking particularly handsome today, she was thinking, in his pristine white shirt and the tie he’d unfastened to hang loosely either side of his open collar.

‘Have you?’ she countered, her eyes sparkling with mischief.

He laughed and grimaced. ‘I swear you don’t want to hear it,’ he assured her. ‘Whereas you, I’m reliably informed, have a voice like Edith Piaf.’

She choked on a laugh, knowing he was making it up. ‘Apparently Josie and Jeff are going to serenade the happy couple with “We’ve Only Just Begun”,’ she told him.

‘Sounds appropriate,’ he commented. ‘Maybe you and I could put ourselves down for a duet. How about “I’ve Got You Under My Skin”?’

Her eyes shot to his, wondering if he’d meant anything by it, but detecting nothing in his manner to suggest he did, she said, ‘Or what about . . .’ she was about to blurt out the old karaoke classic, ‘Don’t Go Breaking My Heart’, but quickly switched it to, ‘“How Much Is That Doggie in the Window?” I’ll do the woofs.’

Laughing, he said, ‘Is it on the list?’

‘No idea.’

‘If it is I’m going to hold you to it. What do you think Josie’s mother’s put herself down for?’

Looking over to where Eileen was wobbling on her heels as she kept embracing Jasper, she said, ‘Oh, I know that, because it’s her party piece, apparently. “I Will Survive”.’

Slapping a hand on the table, he said, ‘I should have guessed. And Lily and Jasper?’

‘The last I heard it’s between “Crazy in Love” and “It Had to Be You”.’

He looked impressed. ‘Maybe they should do both.’

‘I daresay they will,’ and getting to her feet as Kristina carried a sleepy Nell over for a kiss goodnight, she wrapped Nell’s little body in a big embrace as she said, ‘You’ve been a very good girl today.’

‘I want to stay up and sing,’ Nell wailed.

‘We’ve agreed,’ Kristina said, ‘that you’ll get ready for bed, and if you still want to come back down you can.’

Nell gazed at Bel imploringly.

‘Sounds like a good idea to me,’ Bel told her.

Yawning, Nell nodded and let her head drop on to Kristina’s shoulder.

‘Are you going to say goodnight to Harry?’ Kristina suggested.

‘Goodnight Harry,’ Nell responded, giving him a little wave. ‘Where are Josh and Neel today?’

‘They’re with their mummy,’ he smiled.

She nodded and yawned again. ‘Can we go sailing with them tomorrow?’ she wondered.

Rolling her eyes, Kristina said, ‘Let’s get today over with first, shall we?’

Oscar was next, riding on Nick’s back. ‘I’m just pretending to go up,’ he informed Bel, ‘so Nell will think I’m going to bed, but I’m not.’

‘Oh, I see,’ she smiled, tousling his hair. ‘Well just in case you decide to stay, can I have a kiss?’

Releasing his father’s neck, he threw his arms round Bel and planted a giant smackeroo on her cheek. ‘Will everyone still be here when we get up in the morning?’ he asked.

‘I hope not,’ Bel laughed, ‘but we might have to scour the bushes to make sure no one got left behind.’

Turning to Harry, he said, ‘Me and Neel found a really good hiding place the last time he was here. I bet you’ll never be able to find us. Daddy couldn’t this morning, could you, Daddy?’