Never Say Goodbye (13 page)

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Authors: T. Renee Fike

BOOK: Never Say Goodbye
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“What the hell do you tell him?” I say slightly irritated.

“Same shit I tell you,” she states like I should already know.

“Seriously Brynn, let it alone,” I state frustrated with my best friend.

“Ugh fine, but you’re gonna meet him eventually anyways,” she says with a huff.

“Yeah and thanks to you
, it’s going to be fucking awkward.”

“No it won’t, I promise,” she says. I just stare at her like she’s got two damn heads.

“It won’t be awkward Liv. Wolffe’s cool as shit, so you don’t have anything to worry about,” Chad chimes in.

“If you say so,” I mutter.

The rest of the evening is pretty uneventful, unless you think watching drunken college frat guys doing keg stands and trying to pick-up every girl that walks by fun. I don’t. I continue to make small conversation with Brynn and Chad and a few of Chad’s friends, but other than that it’s pretty lame. I’m just not in the mood to deal with drunks right now.

“B, I’m going to head out,” I say as I start to stand up.

“What? You can’t be leaving already, it’s still early,” Brynn whines.

“I told you I didn’t really want to come in the first place. Now you are with Chad, so all is well,” I say with a smile.

“Hey, there you are?” I hear coming from someone behind me. I turn around and see a smiling Levi standing there.

“Hey,” I say.

“I thought I might see you tonight,” he says smiling.

“Why?” I ask curiously.

“Intuition baby intuition,” he says with a chuckle.

“Well I hope your intuition isn’t telling you that you’re getting lucky
with me tonight, because you aren’t,” I say with a poised smile.

“Damn Liv, always a hard ass, I see. One of these days you’ll change your mind,” he says with a serious look.

“Actually, I’m sure I won’t Levi. See, you just aren’t the type of guy I date, so it’s never going to happen. Friends only,” I say with a sweet smile.

“What’s wrong with me?” He asks running his hands up and down, pointing to his body and face.

“There’s nothing wrong with you. I’m just not into the one-night stand type of things like you,” I state.

“Who says it has to be only one night?” he asks looking serious.

“You don’t do relationships and I don’t do friends with benefits,” I assure him.

“Shit, why not Liv? I would definitely make it worth your while,” he says with a determined look.

I just start to laugh. “Sorry Levi not interested. Friendship is all you will get from me, but I’m sure there’s some girls around here that would love to have you for a night,” I state with a smile.

“Damn it, how the hell do you know me so well?” he asks
, looking at me inquisitively.

“I know guys like you Levi, so will you stop hitting on me now?” I ask hopeful.

“Fuck, I guess so. I still want to hang out with you though,” he says looking sweetly at me.

“That’s fine, just don’t try anything stupid,” I state looking him in the eyes.

“No worries, I want to keep my nuts attached,” he says with a smile.

“Smart boy.”

“Well, I guess I’m off to find a girl for the night since I can’t have you,” he says with a sad look.

“Get the hell out of here,” I say with a laugh as I swat him on the arm. He just laughs and shakes his head and heads off in
the direction of a group of women that have caught his eye.

“He’s a piece of work,” Brynn says from behind me. Shit, I forgot she was standing here
with me.

“He’s something that’s for sure,” I say smiling.

“I’m glad you decided not to date him,” she says reassuringly.

“He doesn’t date B, he screws and then moves on to the next one. Sad thing is
, I actually have a lot of fun hanging out with him. I just can’t ever see myself with him.”

“I get it, I do. You will find someone who is perfect for you, I promise you Liv,” she says smiling.

“One day B, one day. I just don’t need your help in finding him, alright?” I state hopeful.

“I’m telling you,
Wolffe is perfect for you,” she says with excitement.

“For the last damn time let
Wolffe out of it. He’s not the guy for me, I don’t even freaking know him,” I shriek at her.

“Ugh, fine damn it. I will stop meddling, I promise,” she says with a solemn look.

“Thank the Lord, it’s about freaking time,” I say smiling holding my hands up in the air.

“Let’s go get a drink,” she says.

“B, sorry to disappoint you, but I’m heading home,” I tell her.

“Why
, it’s still early?” she says looking confused.

“I’m bored and not in the partying mood, that’s why,” I remind her.

“Let me tell Chad and we will leave,” she says as she looks for Chad.

“No B, stay and have fun
, I’ll just talk to you tomorrow,” I tell her.

“Liv it
s dark out, you can’t walk home by yourself,” she tells me like I’m two years old.

“It’s fine, really I’ll be okay,” I reassure her.

She just stares at me and shakes her head. “We’ve discussed this already, neither of us walks alone. You’ve seen and heard what happens to college girls who walk home and never make it, I will be damned if that’s going to happen to you, when I could have made sure you made it home safely,” she says with a sad look in her eyes.

“B, seriously nothing’s going to happen to me, the dorm isn’t far anyway,” I tell her.

“I’m sure that’s what the missing girls said to their friends too,” she deadpans.

I just look at her, I’m sure she’s right, but I don’t want her to have to worry about me. I can make it home safely.

“So what do you suggest?” I ask.

“We will walk you back to the dorm, and then come back here or go home,” she says like it’s no big deal.

“Brynn, Chad doesn’t look like he wants to leave and I don’t want to be the reason he has to,” I state.

“Chad won’t care, don’t worry about it, I’ll be right back,” she says as she heads in the direction of her boyfriend.

I just stand there looking around at some familiar faces, new faces, and some completely drunk faces.

“Okay, let’s go,”
Brynn says out of nowhere. Wow, that was quick.

I look at Chad who has a smile on his face too. “Sorry Chad, I tried to tell her you guys don’t have to walk me home
, but she won’t let it go,” I say with a sad look.

“Don’t worry about it Liv, I’m ready to leave
anyway,” he says reassuringly.

Chapter Twelve

The next week and a half passes by as my birthday gets closer and closer. I’m also reminded about my birthday because Brynn keeps counting it down to me. I’m only turning nineteen not twenty-one so I don’t see what the big deal is, but Brynn seems to think there’s one.

“Guess what day it is?” Brynn asks as I slowly wake-up.

“Not my birthday Brynn,” I state rubbing my eyes.

“Nope, three days left,” she says with a huge grin.

“Seriously B, it’s not a big deal,” I try to tell her.

“Are you kidding me? It’s my best friend’s birthday, it absolutely is a big deal,” she states all serious.

“Okay, okay, it’s a big deal, I get it,” I say giving in.

“Your party is going to be amazing, if I do say so myself,” she says grinning.

“Where’s the party at?” I ask curiously.

“It’s going to be at the sorority house,” she says with a smile.

“Thank you for not doing a surprise party,” I say with a look.

“Don’t worry, I know how much you hate surprises
like that,” she says with a knowing look.

I j
ust smile, “So three days huh?”

“Heck yes, I can’t wait. You are going to love what I got you,” she says bouncing up-and-down.

I start to smile and laugh at my best friend. I don’t know whether I should be excited or nervous for the gift she got me. “Should I be worried?” I ask curiously.

“A
bsolutely not, you will love it,” she says with a smile.


Alright,” I say as I head towards the bathroom to get showered before class.

Classes fly by and before I know it, I’m back in my dorm and working on reading and writing papers. I hear a text alert and check it thinking its Brynn; it’s not
, its Ryan.

“Liv
, can we please talk?” I just stare at the text, not sure what to do. I’ve always ignored his messages and after a while they slowed down a lot. It’s actually been a few months since I’ve even heard from Ryan.

As I continue to stare at the message another one comes through. “Liv, your birthday’s coming up and I wanted to wish you a happy birthday. I miss
you, will you please talk to me?”

I finally find the courage to text something back, “Thanks Ryan, but we really don’t have anything to say to one another,” and I hit send.

A minute or so later I get a text back, “That’s not true; we have a lot to talk about. I’m so sorry for how things ended. I want to make things right. I still love you.”

I stare at my phone ready to throw it. How dare he say he still loves me, you don’t cheat on the one you supposedly love, you don’t lie to them either. Instead of saying all of this I send a simple text back, “Bye Ryan.” Hopefully he will get the picture. I guess I shouldn’t have respond
ed in the first place.

I try to focus on my
paper; unfortunately my mind is now elsewhere. Before I can do anything my phone chimes again, signaling a message. I hesitate on reading the response because who knows what he’s going to say now, but I choose to read it anyway. “Liv, don’t be like that. I want to talk to you, please talk to me. If not, I will come and visit you. I need to set some things straight.”

Instead of sending a message back I dial him up and wait two rings before he answers, “Hey Liv, I didn’t think you’d call.”

“Well, I sure as hell am not having you come here to visit. What do you want Ryan?” I state irritated.

“Olivia, I’m so sorry for lying to you before. I should have told you the truth, I just didn’t want to hurt you,” he says with sadness in his tone.

“So you think that cheating is less hurtful?” I say angrily.

“No Liv, I know what I did was wrong. I should have told you before anything happened with anyone. I shouldn’t have kept brushing you off and I’m sorry. You didn’t deserve that.”

“Ryan, I told you we could have broken up before we left for school, we should have done that. I was so stupid to think we could have kept our relationship going for four years living at opposite ends of the country,” I state sadly.

“We could have made it
work, I’m the one that messed up Liv. I can’t apologize to you enough for what I’ve done but Liv, I really am sorry. I want to make it up to you, if you’ll let me,” he says softly.

“Make it up to me how?” I ask shocked and curious.

“Give us another try Liv, please? I promise I will be the best boyfriend you ever have. We can make this work, I know we can,” he says in a serious voice.

“Ryan, we’ve be broken up for
months, what makes you think I would even want to get back with you or that I’m not already involved with someone else?” I state bitterly.

“Shit, are you involved with someone Liv?” he asks nervously.

“Honestly Ryan, it doesn’t even matter, we aren’t getting back together. You cheated and lied to me repeatedly. I can’t trust you.”

“No baby, you can trust me. I messed
up, I won’t do it ever again. I’ve been living months without you in my life and it sucks. I miss you so damn much. I don’t want anyone else but you Liv, please give us a second chance, I promise you won’t regret it,” he says sounding hopeful.

“I can’t trus
t you. I did and look how that turned out. Ryan, please just let me alone. We didn’t work because you made a choice to be with other people. That was your choice. Now you need to live with it.”

“Please Liv,” he pleads.

“I’m making my choice, which is to move forward with my life and that doesn’t include you. Maybe in time we can be friends again, but right now, we can’t. Please don’t call or text me again. Bye Ryan,” I say then end the call.

Ryan doesn’t call me or text me back, not that I thought he would. I was pretty stern when I told him bye. Why does he have to call now? Three days before my birthday
. The last person I expected to hear from was him. I decide I need to get out for a bit. I haven’t exercised or ran in a while so I decide to head to the gym and get a quick workout in, anything to take my mind off of what the hell that just was.

I change into some yoga pants and a tank top, throw my hair in a ponytail, throw sneakers on and grab my iPod before heading out the door. I make my way
to the gym which is pretty busy. I see a treadmill open and decide to try to run for a bit. I used to enjoy running and hope my body isn’t too out of shape.

I set my iPod to some rock music to help pump me up
. I start the treadmill and begin to torture my body. After a while my body feels like Jell-O, but I don’t stop. I continue to push and push until finally I stop when I can’t go any longer. I hit three miles. Damn am I out of shape. I slowly get off the machine for fear I would fall or faint. I definitely pushed myself too far, but it was worth it. The run definitely took my mind off all things Ryan.

I look around the gym and notice a lot of people left. I don’t see anyone I know though. After I wipe the machine down
, I decide I need to sit for a minute. The last thing I want to do is pass out. Once I catch my breath I realize I forgot to bring water. Luckily, I notice a water fountain so I head in that direction.

I see some hot guys working out on my way to the water fountain, but I don’t make eye contact with them. That’s the last thing I want
, some hot guy coming up to talk to me when I’m all sweaty and gross. I take a long drink from the fountain then decide to stretch my limbs out before heading back to the dorm.

After my stretch, I make my way out the door and back to my dorm. I’m thankful no one says anything to me
or that it didn’t feel awkward going to the school gym. I make a mental note to continue to work out at the gym.

The next day my body hurts like hell. I can barely move to get out of bed
, let alone rush off to class.

“What the hell happened to you?” Brynn says looking oddly at me.

“I tried to work out last night,” I say as I try to sit up.

“You tried? It looks like your body got hit by a bus,” she says all serious. Truth be told
, I feel like I got hit by a bus.

“Don’t remind me,” I say as I hold on to the desk fo
r leverage to try to stand up.

“Whatever you did last night, don’t do it again,” she says with a sad smile.

“I just need to get back into shape. Hopefully a hot shower will help,” I say as I slowly make my way towards the bathroom.


Well, at least take a break until after your birthday party on Saturday,” she states.

“I will
, don’t worry.”

“What kind of work out did you do last night anyway?” She asks.

“I ran three miles on the treadmill,” I tell her.

“Are you nuts? You haven’t run in forever.
What the hell made you run that far?” She practically yells.

“Ryan,” is all I say.

“What did he do?” she asks angrily.

“He kept texting, so I finally responded and let’s just say it didn’t go well.”

“What did he want Liv?”

“He wants to get back together,” I tell her truthfully.

“And you better have told him to go fuck himself,” she says bluntly.

“I told him it wasn’t going to happen and then I hung up on him. I decided I wanted to get out and running sounded like a good
idea at the time, now I’m not so sure.”

“I can see that. Next time, run maybe a mile
, but not three, you need to work up to that distance,” she says looking worried.

“I’ll be fine in a day or so,” I tell her as I finally make it to the bathroom door. I head inside and
start the water for a steaming hot shower.

By the time I get out of the shower
, my body feels much better. Hopefully, it stays that way. I head into the room to get ready for classes and to start my day. Brynn is already gone since she has an early class. I decide to go get some tea before heading to my first class of the day.

The day comes and goes
but thankfully I don’t have much homework tonight. I decide a good relaxing night in the dorm is just what I need.

As I’m leaving my last class of the day
, I run into Levi.

“Hey Liv, how was class?” he asks kindly.

“It was fine, nothing too exciting,” I say honestly.

“Oh, well at least it’s over then right?” he says with a laugh, “What are your plans for tonight?”

“I’m going back to my dorm for the night,” I tell him.

“Do you want to hang out with me?” he asks confidently.

“Not tonight, maybe another time Levi.”

“I thought we were friends Liv, but you never want to hang out, what gives?”

“We are friends Levi. I don’t want to give you the wrong impression because we will only ever be just friends,” I tell him truthfully.

“Honey, no worries, I got it, but we can still hang out,” he says looking intently at me.

“Alright Levi, we will hang out soon, but tonight I just want to relax, my body hurts,” I say without thinking.

“What’s wrong? Why does your body hurt?” He asks all serious.

“I went to the gym and pushed myself too hard, so today I’m paying for it,” I tell him.

“I can give you a massage, purely platonic, if you’d like,” he says sweetly.

“That sounds nice, but maybe another time,” I say, even though a massage sounds wonderful right now.

“I’m serious Liv. I can even come to your room if you prefer. It will definitely make you feel a lot better,” he says looking all serious at me.

Who am I kidding, this man is hot. His blue eyes are amazing and as much as I would love for his hands to be on me, I can’t fall into him. He’s not good for me.

“Liv, you can thank me later, let’s go,” he says leading me out the door before I have a chance to object.

He leads me back to my dorm, where I unlock the door to let us in. Brynn’s staying at Chad’s tonight according to the text she sent me earlier, but I can let that little detail out. Especially, if I need to get rid of Levi later on.

“I’ll wait here while you go change into something more comfortable,” he says softly.

“What’s wrong with what I have on?” I ask confused.

“Liv, I’m giving you a massage, how am I supposed to massage you through jeans and a sweater? He says look
ing amused.

I look down at myself and realize he has a point. “Okay, I guess I’ll go change,” I tell him.

“Just throw on some shorts and a tank top, or you can go in your birthday suit if you’d like,” he says while lifting his eyebrows up and down.

“I thought you said platonic?” I ask questioningly.

“I’m still a man, it wouldn’t be right if I didn’t say something.”

“Ridiculous. I’ll be right back.” I grab a pair of yoga shorts and a tank top and hea
d into the bathroom to change.

Once changed, I grab some lotion and head back into the room.

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