Never Say Goodbye (Rebel Walking #6) (27 page)

“They'll understand if we’re a few minutes late.”  I unbutton her jeans and work to slide them out of the way.  She watches my hands when I slide them over her legs and around her waist.  She squirms when I slip a finger over her clit, rubbing her there only for a brief second.

I let my hands touch her entire body, watching as she responds throughout the entire massage.  Her occasional moan tells me I'm doing something right.  

“Roll over again.  Have you ever had a man give you a massage?”

“No.”  Her ex is a selfish asshole, I should've known she's never been treated right with that father of hers dictating who she dated.

I continue pulling my thumb over her tight muscles, visibly watching her relax as I do.  This is something I need to do more often and especially when we have more time.  

“Kimber.  We should probably go.”  I don't stop after I step off the bed, spending more time on the back of her legs and down to her feet.

“I don't think I can walk.  You've ruined me.”  Her voice is muffled from the relaxation.  “Thank you.  I didn't realize how stressed my body was.”  

“You're welcome.”  My phone vibrates on the dresser, so I glance at it.  “It's Talon saying they're holding a table at the restaurant so we need to head out.  I'll finish this tonight.”  She sits on the bed with her legs straddling mine and wraps her arms around my waist.  My dick is touching her tits and I can't even comprehend leaving.  The massage made me somewhat hard, but this is causing me to come to life.

“We could hurry!”  Her eyes meet mine as she looks up, practically begging for more.  

“We could.”  She moves her hands over my cock and begins to carefully twist opposite directions while taking the tip into her mouth.  She's careful with my piercing and my thoughts are chaos when she takes it deep into her throat.  Ahh fuck.  It's been so long since I've had a great blow job.  

I'm not really wanting to go out this way, so I guide her head up and crawl over her on the bed.  Remembering the condom, I reach for my bag and slide one on while she watches me.  She's wet and ready, allowing me to slide in when I return.  I go slow.  I savor her body and put aside any rush that would prevent me from showing her how much I care about her.  

We fit.  Our movements are easy.  Making love to Kimber relaxes me even further and before I'm done, I collapse onto her body.  We move as one over the sheets until she's has an orgasm, then I follow shortly behind her.  

Kimber

We’re extremely late to dinner, but Luke doesn't seem to care.  He's calm and relaxed and it's easy to feel good around him when he's like this.  I notice all eyes on us when we arrive, but I need to get used to that.  This tiny black dress was his choice and I do feel extremely sexy tonight.  He made me feel that way.  I've never had a man treat me like he does.  

I'm seated next to Lyndsey and across from Ivy and Eaven.  The women all have the center of the table, allowing the men the outside.  

“How are you adjusting?”  Holden leans behind Lyndsey to check on me.

“I'm doing great.  There's something I'd like to show you tomorrow though, if you have a chance.”

“Sure, what is it?”

“Oh some crazy fan letter that I don't want him to see, but think you should see it so you can keep them at a distance.”

“Yeah, okay.  Come see me tomorrow and I'll handle it.”

The dinner is full of entertainment while I watch them all catch up.  I learn so much about everyone by just sitting back and observing.  This group is close and they really missed Luke.  It must be amazing to have this many people care.

"Kimber.  Do you have any plans to stay busy here?"  The table turns their attention to me after Ivy centers her question on me.

"She wants to open a gym.  We're going to find a building and get one started soon," Luke answers for me.  He's turned smiling at me when he finishes and I decide to finish telling my dream.

"I want to open up a gym and allow under privileged kids to come in to be trained.  I'll offer classes in fighting and teach them the discipline they need to overcome anything life throws at them."

"That's a great idea, Kimber.  Let us know if we can be of any help."  Eaven looks genuinely happy as she offers.

"I may take you up on that when I get the building."

"I would demand to help, so it's good that you're willing to let me!"  

"I'm going to look for a good building that's vacant and see what happens from there."

"Well, good luck with that!  Hell, I'll be your first member.  I could use some fight classes."  Ivy smiles at Taron.

"Oh hell.  That's what I need.  You beating my ass with some crazy Jiu Jitsu moves."

"You know you'd think it's sexy.  Plus, it doesn't hurt us to know self defense."

"Yes.  I'd love for you girls to know how to fight off assholes.  It would make leaving you a little easier on my mind."  Taron continues to show his support.

"Leaving me, huh?  Do you think you can escape me if you try?"  

"Baby, I don't even consider leaving you for good.  Shit, my heart couldn't take the hurt."  Ivy smiles.

"Oh, you're getting laid tonight."  Her response sends the table into a laughing uproar.

"Again?  Hell yes!"  Taron is hard to read.  He has such an aggressive approach, yet he has a huge heart.  My first instinct was to shy away from him, but I can see him being a great person to have in my life.

The sound of a spoon hitting a glass interrupts my thoughts and I look to see Eaven getting the attention of the entire table.

"I just want to say a few things.  First, I'm so happy to have Luke back and it's a wonderful bonus that he brought Kimber home with him.  I can see a great relationship forming with her already and I can't wait to have many shopping days with her."  The others add their short approvals before she continues.  "And second.  Talon would like to share something with everyone."  He puts his arm around her and kisses her on the cheek.   The happiness on his face is indescribable and contagious.  

"Eaven is pregnant and I guess I'm going to be a dad."  The whole table reacts with extreme excitement, myself included.  I can tell this baby was completely conceived in love and the two of them deserve this.  

Ivy wraps Eaven up in a huge hug and the feeling of support and love flows all around me.  This shouldn't be something so new to me, but it really is.  I make a vow to myself in this moment to never let it be any different in the future.  I deserve to be around people like this who care, and it makes a huge difference when you get to share your excitement with others who are as thrilled as you are.

We end dinner and all decide to head home early tonight.  Plans to have a small appearance at some place called Smitty's were made and I can't wait to see Luke on stage.  He agreed to one appearance and then he'd let them know what he decides.  I can tell he won’t be done with Rebel Walking for good.  It's his passion.  That's very apparent.  

The ride home with Luke is easy and he even works his way through the living room again, slowly accepting the space a little more.  I hear him talking to someone from the bathroom, so I take my time.  I can really get used to this life.  I feel complete for the first time in my life.  

The sound of the door sliding open startles me as I'm taking off my makeup.  I look up to see him peeking in.

"You about ready for bed?"

"Almost."  

"So what do you think of my friends?"

"They're great, Luke.  I've never had a single friend like them, and you have the whole group."

"I know.  It has it's benefits."

"It's an amazing thing.  Honestly, how do you not feel on top of the world with them by your side?"

"I did for sure.  Sometimes being on top of the world isn't all it's cracked up to be."  I wipe the last of my mascara off and turn to face him.

"I get that, but what's important is to have friends like that no matter where you are in life.  At the top or hitting rock bottom.  Let them balance you."

"You do realize, they're your friends now too.  Just like I told you."

"I can tell.  Thank you for letting me be a part of all of this."

Luke and I talk for hours. I enjoy the stories he tells about times of his past that included all the crew from tonight.  How they met.  How their differences make them unique and the very reason that they're so close.

I fall asleep shortly after he does.  He's wrapped me in his arms, being so gentle as he holds me.   

The sound of a phone ringing wakes me and I sit up on the bed, covering myself with a sheet while he answers.

"Hello."  He sits up with a rapid movement, frightening me.

"Hello.  Lilly?"  Chills spread over my body as I wait for him to say something else.

"Lilly?  What's wrong?  Where are you?"  He's standing and pacing next to the bed as he listens closely.  His breathing is erratic and I'm getting scared.  Who would do this to him?

"HELLO.  LILLY."  He yells again and the look on his face is pure torture.  He slams the phone down, grabs his jeans and storms out of the room.  I wrap the sheet around me and try to follow, but he's in the truck driving away before I get the chance to reach him.  Damn it!

I start to panic as I try to think of what to do.  I have no idea where he'd go; hell, I don't even have a car to try to find him.  I'm stuck here without any promise of getting to him.  

I have to call someone.  Picking up the phone, I say a prayer and hope  Holden answers.

"Holden.  I need you to come quick.  Lilly must've called Luke.  He left here without a word and I'm worried.  Please hurry."

"Slow down.  Kimber, I'm on my way.  Which way did he go?"  He went out of the driveway and headed towards the main street.  I don't know anything else."  My panic turns to hysterics and tears begin to fill my face.  I can feel his hurt from wherever he is and it's killing me inside.

"Give me a few minutes.  I don't live far."  I look down and see the sheet still wrapped around me and rush to the bedroom to pull on clothes before Holden gets here.

I can hear the sound of his engine when he pulls into the driveway.  Pulling the letter from my bag, I give it one last look.  What are the chances this is really her?  I can't even imagine it either way.  This is going to break Luke and my stomach aches knowing that.

He barrels through the door and yells for me from the kitchen.  I meet him quickly and hand him the letter.  The one I should've shown Luke yesterday.  The one I know has to be a sick joke and a terrible stunt to pull on someone who is grieving from the loss of someone they love.

He reads it slowly, processing it.  

"What am I looking at?"

"Someone pretending to be Lilly.  She was Freebird.  He called her that.  He even has a tattoo about it."

"Where is the envelope it came in?"  I hand him it to him from my other hand.

"No address."

"The ultrasound pic has been cropped too.  I can't see any information on this that gives me a clue as to who did this.  So Luke left when he saw this letter?"

"No, the phone rang and he kept saying 'Lilly'.  He looked horrible, then he left.  He barged out of here and drove off like a bat out of hell."

"Which phone?"

"His house phone."  He turns from me and starts dialing his cell phone.  

"I need records ASAP on a land line that I'm about to call you from.  Please call me immediately when you can tell me the last number to call here."  He hangs up and is all business now.  So different than I've seen him the past few days.  He's like he was at Luke's fight.  Protector mode.

"You're coming home with me.  You can stay with Lyndsey while I try to find Luke."

"No.  I'm going with you."  His eyes meet mine quickly and I stand strong with my challenging look.  

"You damn women are all so fucking bull headed."  He starts to walk out of the house as he continues to talk.  "You make shit harder when I have to worry about you too, but no one fucking cares about that."

"Holden, look.  Luke needs me.  I'm going with you."

"Fine.  Get in.  It's a damn good thing I put a GPS on his phone.  I just hope to fuck he hasn't pulled any bullshit like he did before."

Chapter Ten

Luke

It was Lilly.  Her cries ripped my insides out.  I know it was her.  It seems crazy, but I know it was.  

Freebird is something three people in this world know about.  Kimber, Lilly and myself.  She said 'freebird'.  She said fucking freebird and I knew it was her.  She's alive and someone is hurting her.  I have no fucking idea where she is, but I'm going to the one person who she would contact other than me.  I'll know if she knows anything.

I pull into Lilly's mom's driveway and notice there are not any lights on.  It is late, but this shit can't wait ‘til morning.  I need to know what in the fuck is going on.

I beat on the door until a light comes on.  She struggles with the deadbolt and I wait as impatiently as I possibly can.  My heart is racing so fast that I feel like I'm running a marathon right now.

"Have you talked to her?"  I push open the door and walk in without an invitation.

"Luke, what are you doing?"

"Don't hide anything from me.  I need to know if she's contacted you."  She walks slowly away from me and turns on the light to the kitchen.  She starts to fill the coffee pot and I try to rein in my urge to shake the information from her frail body.  

"I need to know now."  My voice echoes loudly in the simple kitchen.

"She's alive.  I've heard from her twice."  I fall to my knees with her words.  Tears flood my eyes.  How is this even possible?

"How?  I... I saw her body.  I watched her die."  I poured my heart out to her dead body lying in a casket.  How can she be alive?  My Lilly would never do anything like this.

"She had to, Luke.  I'm not supposed to talk about it.  Her safety is in danger if I do."

"Her safety is in danger now.  She called me tonight crying."  I'm so fucking pissed that I threw my phone in the river all those months ago.  What if she's been trying to reach me all along?

"Luke, I can't tell you anything.  I don't know where she is."  

"Tell me everything you know."

"She left a message for me one day when I was at church.  She knew I'd be gone then, and that's when she decided to call.  She said, 'I miss you Mom' and that's all I got.  Broke me down bad.  I thought I was losing my mind.  I sent it to the cops and they said it came from a payphone in Montana."  

What the fuck is in Montana?  "Why Montana?"

"Not sure.  The next time I heard from her was in a letter.  She asked me to burn it after I read it, so I did."

"Do you remember what it said?"

"She said she had to do this to keep us safe.  Said she missed me and would be in touch if she  ever could.  Then asked me to burn the note and not share it with anyone, including the police."  I stand and try to take all of this in.  If I wasn't numb from shock, I'd probably yell from the anger building up inside.  

"Who would she run from?"

"I don't know, Luke.  The only person I knew with those kinds of resources was her father and he's been gone for years.  He didn't even know she existed before he left, so I can't imagine it being him."  There's a knock at the door and I open it to find Holden and Kimber standing there, looking as scared as I feel.  

How do I tell Kimber that Lilly is alive?  I can't even process the information myself.

"Luke.  What's going on?"  Holden steps inside and I look away from both of them.  I'm not ready to face the questions.

"Luke, please don't shut us out.  Don't run from what's bothering you.  Let us help you."  Her words echo in my heart and I fight running out the door and leaving all of this behind to find Lilly.  To tear up every single fucking house in this world until I find her.  The problem is, I don't even know where to start.

"You need to see this."  Holden hands me a piece of paper with fold marks.  I look at the bottom to see who it's from and then close my eyes, using my thumb and index finger to wipe my tears.  I can't take much more of this shit.  I can't handle knowing I haven't been there for her when she needed me most.  

"When did this come?"

"It was in your box of mail."  Fuck.  

I look at her words and try to comprehend what she's telling me.  

Luke,

I can't keep this from you any longer.  I love you and miss you every single minute of every day.  Please know I had to do it to protect you and my family.  I would never put you in danger and I hope you can find it in yourself to forgive me.

I stop reading and try to take it all in again, slowly rereading her apology for ripping my fucking heart out.  What in the hell could be worth all the pain I've been in?

You deserve to know about him.  He's the love of my life.  I hope one day I can let you meet him, but until then just know you'll always have a special place in my heart.  

I'm sending you his very first picture.  I've placed kisses on it with tears in my eyes just thinking of how hurt you'll be to read this, but I know I just can't keep him from you.  He'll have your last name and I promise to tell him that he was conceived in love and that his father is the best man I've ever known.      

I Love you forever and always,

Your Freebird

I have a son.  Just when I thought the sharp pains couldn't get any worse, my heart explodes with anger.  How could she do this?  I have a son.  I'm going to be a father.  

My mind shifts to the sound of her cries on the phone tonight.  I walk outside because I can't breathe as the pain of it all consumes me.  The hurt is compounding and taking over every emotion I have.  How?  Why?  Where?

I sit on the front steps and try to grasp any ounce of reality that my heart can hold on to.  I'm going to be a father.  The woman I've been grieving over for months is not gone, but she's in danger.  And I have no idea how to find her.  How am I not going to lose my fucking shit?  Trying to remain calm is not working.

Reading the letter again, I look for any clues as to why she's done this.  Where is she?  I toss the letter beside me on the porch in frustration when I realize there's not a fucking thing on that letter that gives me any answers.  

Kimber walks out and sits beside me.  Her soft exhale reminds me of everything I've promised her and I can't help but feel like an asshole for planning to bail on her to find Lilly, but it's what I have to do.  

"She's out there, isn't she?"  I lean my head against my hand and battle with the words she needs.  Giving up on any chance of a great response, I answer simple.

"Yes."  I could barely get that small word out over the lump in my throat.

"Well then, you have to go find her."

"I know."

"I'll help you in any way I can.  Just let me."

Kimber

I'm dying inside for him.  This is a nightmare and I can't even imagine how he feels.  He deserves to find peace with this and just when he was starting to make progress, all of this unfolds.

I hope this is really her for his sake.  It's been no secret in our relationship how important she is.  Not that I want to let him go, but I would in a second if it would bring him happiness.  

Holden steps onto the porch behind us.  "The number came from Montana.  I have the address."  

Luke stands quickly and I follow.  I know this means we're going to Montana.  I'm game for anything.  

"Cowboy is stuck on another assignment, so I can grab two of our new guys and we can leave as soon as I can secure the flight.  I'll pull some more strings and we'll use the private jet from yesterday."

"You pulled the phone number from my house?"  Luke is still in shock and the realization that he may be going to Lilly is hitting him.

"Yes.  This is what I do, Luke.  It was easy.  She's been calling for a few weeks pretty solid, so I don't want to take any chances of waiting.  We need to leave now.  What are the chances you'll let me and my guys handle this?"

"Fucking zero and you know this."

"You're emotional and that makes you a hazard to the entire operation.  We're not even sure what we're up against."

"I'll stand back, but I want to at least be in the same fucking state.  There's no way you're keeping me here in Missouri, so get over it old man."

"Alright, alright.  I already knew this, but I thought I'd at least try."  

I catch Luke looking at the sonogram picture.  The look of total terror flashes and he folds up the letter, carefully putting it along with the picture in the back pocket of his jeans.

He's pacing and I follow his lead, pacing in a different direction.  I have so many mixed emotions, I'm having a hard time not bursting into tears.